Sunday, April 28, 2013

A Pre-Date Googling, Part 1

So I read this very interesting article in April's Glamour magazine about the dangers of pre-date googling.

It probably won't surprise my readers to learn that I'm a pretty big offender on this front.  Knowing myself, this probably isn't going to stop me.

Basically, this article stated that it takes out the organic element of getting to know a person.  We make too many assumptions based on what we find online.  One of the points they brought up is we might find 'deal breakers' online that we would normally excuse in real life because either there might be some  additional explanation, or the real-life chemistry might be so strong that this becomes irrelevant.

However.  I, like almost all single people in Chicago, am on a little site called 'OKCupid'.  For those not familiar, there's the standard profile portion, plus an unlimited amount of questions one can answer about him/herself on sex, values, religion, etc.  One can answer the questions him or herself, then answer what one deems 'acceptable answers' from a potential mate, and whether or not one deems this question important.

When I filled out said dating site profile, I answered a TON of questions.  This, in theory, helps better match me to those similar.  Now, let me tell you, for almost every guy I have encountered on said site, I have seen some question that I didn't like the answer to.  Some question that I felt I could cut a guy on.    (Are you happy with your life? What are your feelings on group sex?  Is it ok to date someone already in a relationship, if no one else finds out?  How often do you do things out of spite?)

However, as I did this, I thought about two important facts.   Perhaps I was inferring too much on a guy's character based on a bad answer (he couldn't be attracted to someone whose body-type wasn't right?  this must mean he's superficial, or a workout fiend!).  Or, more likely, if I'd met this guy in person, these questions most likely wouldn't have come up in conversation on the first couple dates, so would I have dated this person anyway?  Would I possibly end up in a serious relationship with this person?  And more importantly, how many people out there do I think I know that might, in secret, have these weird-ass inappropriate (per my standards) answers to these burning questions?

Your thoughts?  Do you judge people on what you find out about them online?  Does anyone else on OKCupid feel she (or he) could cut practically everyone based on these questions?!


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