What if, on a first date, one is to see a movie? A BAD movie.... Afterwards, there's always some compulsion to talk about the movie. What's one to say? Especially if the other person either treated for the movie or merely suggested the movie...does it look ungrateful to say "that was the WORST movie I've ever seen!" Does it sound like one is having a bad time? I would think, then, the inviter would feel awkwardly guilty. He or she might feel compelled to apologize, even though, hopefully, it was completely unintentional. Come to think of it, I can think of a couple movies that I'd like show to some of my worst enemies while they are tied down in a room alone in front of a tv.
However, if one hates the movie, but, to seem nice and grateful and pleasant, says "it was pretty good" - it might come off as though this person has bad taste in movies. If I were to see a God-awful movie with someone I don't know all that well and he were to say he liked it - I'd definitely think 'no way. there's no way I can put of with this for the next however many years of my life'. Also, if both parties hate the movie - then there's something to bond about - similar taste - however, there are risks of coming off a certain way if one is too honest. Is it better to be honest and seem like a jerk with good taste, or to be a nice person with bad taste? Which kind of person is worse to date?
I know some people will simply say a movie is not a good choice for a first date (you don't get to talk much to actually get to know each other). However, I kind of think the same goes for other kinds of dates - like if you go out for a dinner and it ends up that you don't like what you ordered (or don't like the restaurant). If you choke it down and say it's good - you run the risk of "I know!! I LOVE this place. I come here all the time - let's come back next week!!" What does one do? Should she (or he) be blatantly honest?
Sigh.
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3 comments:
Dating is craptastic. First dates can be either super blissful or super miserable. I think the key is to pick an activity that allows you to talk and allow you to exit quickly if it's a no-go.
I think that coffee is a great choice for a multitude of reasons.
One is that at a coffeeshop is quiet so you can sit down a chat and see if the person is a good conversationalist, for me, this is key. While this is pretty yawn-tasic, coffee also has some other interesting characteristics...
First and foremost, if the date just won't go anywhere, you can down a cup of coffee in 15 minutes, even if its scalding hot. When the coffee is done, you can exit.
Second, coffee is a diuretic. This means that within an hour, should the date last that long, someone will need to use the washroom. Go ahead ladies and check your makeup if the date is going great, or call a friend to come and rescue you if need be!
Third, if you're a really granola hippie, you can flaunt it by asking if there are any fair trade coffees available and use this to lead into a talk about politics. Seriously Jaime, you're someone that need to know if they're red or blue! On the first date with my wife, abortion, gun rights, taxes and affirmative action all came up. (Admittedly, we were stopped by a team of 8th graders creating a political science video.)
Coffee!
I think it all depends on the person you're with. if that person is a great match for you, the cjit chat will ensue with little to no effort, if you find yourself forcing yourself for a topic, then it's probably destined to fail anyway. A fist dat at the movies is a bad idea anywa, very little communication and it can bring the energy low for the date. Coffee shops or parks are cheaper and allows for you to get the other person better anyway, in case they end up being psycho!
www.motodanica.com
thats why MY life is so easy...i NEVER get asked out!
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