I Don't Date Men Not on Facebook.

I was at a lovely Chicago street fair.  I ended up talking to a (seemingly) nice young gentleman.  He was cute and flirtatious.   I asked him what he did for a living.  He's a lawyer.  When he talked more in-depth about his job (quite voluntarily, I might add), I discovered he works with my cousin.   They are in the same department.  I mentioned I'd be seeing her the next day at a family party.  I said I'd mention to her that, small world, I'd met him.  He even relayed an inside joke from work to tease her about.   Important detail to mention - he did this all whilst flirting with me, buying me drinks, asking for my number, attempting to kis me, and suggesting he take me out to dinner.

The next day, I, indeed, see said cousin (a woman around my age, recently happily married with a newborn baby).  I mention said man to her.  Long story short - he has a girlfriend.  In another city.  Long distance relationship.  SERIOUSLY!?  Seriously.  Not that he couldn't have a girlfriend.  But the fact that he knew my cousin/his coworker knew this, he knew I'd be talking to her, etc... ay yi yi.

Anyhow.  So I assumed, at this point, this was basically an instance of him having tried to have a one-night fling on a night out (definitely didn't go that far) and that I'd never hear from him again.

Oh no.  He texted.  He said he needs to take me out to dinner.  Instead of starting some big confrontation with a virtual stranger that nothing happened with that I'd most likely never see again who clearly isn't interested in changing his ways, I decided to just pretty much ignore him or shoot him one word answers so he'd get the hint.   He kept persevering for a little bit, but, as of press time, I haven't  heard from him in almost a week.

That brings me to my point.  Men living double-lives/dating multiple women.   Something I've learned over the past couple years - they are much more common than I realized.   I've had a couple people I know who've dated a man for a while that they thought was their committed boyfriend and it turned out there was another woman who thought the exact same thing.  I don't really understand how it's worth it for a person to have to maintain so many lies with multiple people, but alas, that's another blog post in and of itself.

Anyhow - one thing I realize about all of these men - they are not on facebook.  Because facebook makes it difficult for people to maintain multiple lives.  A guy can't really tell one of his girlfriends 'hey honey, whatever you do, don't post that nice picture of us together' (because one of my other ladies might see it) without encountering 'but why not, sweetie, we look so great together in it!'.  So, these men generally avoid having an internet presence, often times under the guise that they can't 'because of their important career'.  That was the immediate response of this man when I asked him if he was facebook friends with my cousin.  "Oh, I can't have facebook, I'm a lawyer."   That being said, I know plenty of serious doctors, lawyers (for example, my cousin), teachers, students, and business professionals who, gasp, have facebook.   As a general rule, whenever I meet a man under 30 without facebook, I immediately wonder what he has to hide (or how technologically inept he is).  

In short, based on the experiences of some people I know, as well as this dude, I now have a 'mandatory facebook' dating rule.  I am alone in this rule?  Anyone else on board?  Does anyone know someone successfully maintaining shady behavior with an internet presence?   Anyone else encountered men living double lives?  (Through the experiences of a couple people I know - they definitely exist!)