Monday, July 15, 2013

The Children Conundrum



So one of my good friends recently had an adorable baby boy.  I love him already.  Growing up, said good friend would often refer to her 'aunts' and 'cousins' who really happened to be close family friends of her mom who, for that reason, had been a part of her life growing up.  My other friends and I always thought this was funny - we just didn't see it that way.  However, I'm happy she does, because now this means her adorable son Nathan is my nephew.

This brings me to a bit of a quandary....  I'm 30 years old; several of my good friends are pregnant right now; some others already have kids.  There are those who definitely want kids, but are still looking for Mr. Right.  Then there are those who know they definitely don't want kids.

And then there's me.  I fall into a big gray area.  I still don't know if I want them or not.  I'm 30 years old.  Should I know at this point?  I remember, when a friend of mine and I were looking through men's profiles on match.com, she mentioned if men were of a certain age and were "not sure" if they wanted kids, it was a red flag.

This begs an important question - at what point in one's life should one know if he or she wants children?  At what point does one need to figure it out?  A small part of me feels like if my goal was having kids, my focus and some of my choices would be different right now.  Should I know if I want kids by now?  If it hasn't hit me yet, is it never going to hit me?  Or, as I slightly worry, is it going to hit me one day when it'll be too late?  I've heard about a lot of women in my age range freezing their eggs based on this exact fear.  Your thoughts?

1 comment:

JanLou said...

I think sometimes it is difficult to know that you want kids until you meet a man you would want to have them with. The idea of kids per se is hard to think about if you are not in the right relationship sometimes. I mean you don't want to settle for the wrong man just to have kids cos the clock is ticking then discover it isn't working and become a single mum.

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