The Children Conundrum

So one of my good friends recently had an adorable baby boy.  I love him already.  Growing up, said good friend would often refer to her 'aunts' and 'cousins' who really happened to be close family friends of her mom who, for that reason, had been a part of her life growing up.  My other friends and I always thought this was funny - we just didn't see it that way.  However, I'm happy she does, because now this means her adorable son Nathan is my nephew.

This brings me to a bit of a quandary....  I'm 30 years old; several of my good friends are pregnant right now; some others already have kids.  There are those who definitely want kids, but are still looking for Mr. Right.  Then there are those who know they definitely don't want kids.

And then there's me.  I fall into a big gray area.  I still don't know if I want them or not.  I'm 30 years old.  Should I know at this point?  I remember, when a friend of mine and I were looking through men's profiles on match.com, she mentioned if men were of a certain age and were "not sure" if they wanted kids, it was a red flag.

This begs an important question - at what point in one's life should one know if he or she wants children?  At what point does one need to figure it out?  A small part of me feels like if my goal was having kids, my focus and some of my choices would be different right now.  Should I know if I want kids by now?  If it hasn't hit me yet, is it never going to hit me?  Or, as I slightly worry, is it going to hit me one day when it'll be too late?  I've heard about a lot of women in my age range freezing their eggs based on this exact fear.  Your thoughts?

National Best Friend Day

Apparently, recently, it was national best friend day.

Instead of making some sweet, sentimental comment about friendship, how great my friends are (they are!), or how much they mean to me (they do!) - let me ask this:  what's with the emergence of all these randomass holidays?  Is the marketing team at Hallmark working overtime?  Are there more Leslie Knopes out there than we realized?

Does anyone actually observe these holidays?  I'm not talking observe in a cheesy-facebook-post-style celebration - I'm talking buys cards/flowers/gifts etc.  I'm secretly hoping not.  Let's not be suckers, fellow consumers.  Unless, of course, anyone wants to shower me with some presents.  That's a whole 'nother story, dear FRIENDS, especially on a day like this.  Nudge nudge.  Wink wink.

Come Back, Ellen!

One of my very good friends, Ellen, just left the United States to go teach in Korea for a year.  I cannot believe it will be a whole entire year before I see her again.  I am sad.  I am supportive.  But I am sad.  We have really connected over the past two years.

Ellen will point out here that I can come visit her in Korea.  If anyone would like to donate to the 'send Jaime to Korea' fund, please contact me directly.

ANOTHER Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, another facebook pet peeve.  It's been a little bit.

I hate it when people comment on stuff that doesn't pertain to them.  One of my friends posted asking if anyone had a book recommendation.  "Oh, I don't have time to read.  I'm too busy chasing around my toddlers." - one 'friend' responded.  Uh, then why not just say nothing?  She wasn't singling you out and asking just you.  Do you go to product review pages and report "I've never used this, so I know nothing about it"?  Seriously.  If you're that 'busy', why are you commenting in random threads?

Anyhow.  I also hate it when people will jump into a facebook thread that is clearly something along the lines of an inside joke they are not a part of and ask 'what does this mean?'  Again, seriously.

Editor's sidenote:  Next time someone asks me for a book recommendation, I'm going to recommend facebook.  Or, this blog.

So Sorry....

Too funny.  I have wanted to say this to several friends on several occasions.  

Windy City Live

So this past Monday, I was in the studio audience of Windy City Live!  It was awesome!  My roommate from freshman year of college won tickets and invited me to go with.  This was my second time being on a TV show (I was on The View back in 2008).  I can be seen several times throughout this episode.  Also, here are some pics!  I wasn't familiar with Windy City Live prior to this, but I have to say - great lil show!  I will definitely be watching from now on.

On The Theme of the Last Post

I can't embed.  Try this link.

A classic.

This Was Great, We Should Do This Again Sometime!

So maybe I've been watching a little too much Friends on Nick at Nite....

So, there's the episode where Chandler goes on a date with a woman he ends up not being interest in (Rachel's boss).   At the end of said date, he says 'This was great, I'll give you a call, we should do this again sometime.'  And then, of course, he never calls.

Recently, I went out with a guy.  Towards the end, he brought up that he was having a great time, he would like to hang out again.  As we walked out, he mentioned a restaurant we'd both spoken about earlier in the evening - we should go there together sometime soon.  We went our separate ways (just a friendly goodbye hug - no one night stand, if your mind is going there ;-) ).

Drumroll, please.

As you might expect, he never called.

I can also think of a time I ran into a coworker with which I was acquaintances.   We chatted briefly and he brought up that we should totally get together and catch up for lunch or a happy hour.  Sure, I'd be up for it.  Then as we parted ways, he, again, said we should totally hang out.  Sure, drop me a line.  He has my phone number, email, and facebook.  This was three months ago - no word on the matter.  There had also been times when we'd worked together and we'd spoken of having lunch or going for coffee and it never happened.

One could very easily say I'm reading way too much into this - it simply slipped his mind, he got busy, he's just bad about making plans, etc.  I would even say this, however, he and I have another mutual friend who mentioned him and cited the exact same annoyance - he brings up 'we should hang out' and he doesn't follow through and is flaky when my other friend reaches out and tries to initiate.  This other mutual friend even cited the exact same Friends episode as a reference to him.

My other mutual friend said 'I don't get 'Joe's' deal - it's fine if he doesn't want to be friends with me or hang out, but why does he then bring it up?  I can't really tell if he actually likes me or not.'

Your thoughts? Why do some people talk about making plans and hanging out when they have no intention or desire?  I could see smiling and nodding and going along with it if the other person brought it up, but why suggest it when one has no intention?  Anyone else deal with these kind of people?  I can honestly say I certainly didn't mind that said guy never called me and, although I like said former coworker, it certainly isn't a big deal to me that we never got together.  However, a small part of me ends up feeling annoyed that these people are liars (or something like that).  Your thoughts?

Plan B?

So, this past week - Friends has been on Nick at Nite (way to make me feel old, Nickelodeon).  Editor's sidenote:  back in my heyday, when I LOVED Nickelodeon, I used to hate when all the good shows (Salute Your Shorts, Double Dare, etc etc.) were not on and 'Nick at Nite' came on because it was a bunch of 'old shows' that I'd never heard of.  Le sigh.  Anyhow.  Tangent.

I have loved the friends reruns being on.  A favorite moment came up - when Chandler is dating Janis and Joey hates her.   Joey wants to know what they should all do about it.

*******************************

JOEY: Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.

RACHEL: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.

JOEY: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?

RACHEL: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?

JOEY: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?

ROSS: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.

JOEY: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

*******************************

What can one do one when's friend dates someone he or she doesn't like?  Joey Tribbiani wants to know!

An Honest Question About Gossip

A while ago, I wrote this post about getting together about my girlfriends and how, occasionally, we have the bad habit of sometimes talking about 'the one who isn't there'.

Recently, my friend Jeannine (who is responsible for the 'someecards kick' this blog has been on) sent out an email to our group of girlfriends saying 'this made me think of our group of girls'.  My friend Laura replied 'Wow, this is sad.  Or is it normal?'

That is what I am wondering.  I'd love to pretend I'm innocent of talking about my girlfriends behind their back.  I am not.  It's not malicious.  Sometimes it's out of concern.  Or, at the very least, in 'harmless', goodnatured fun.  Is this the standard amongst all groups of girlfriends?  Is it that every group, on occasion, gossips about each other behind one's back?  Is this, in part, 'not being a good friend'?  Is anyone immune to the gossip bug?  Your thoughts?

Drop The Charges!

So, since I am single, a lot of my non-single friends like to try to set me up.  Today, I was at a good friend's house.  She mentioned that she thought one of her fiance's friends was a great guy and perhaps he and I might hit it off.  Her fiance was hanging out with him at said moment.

Later in the day, her fiance walked through the door.

My friend:  Hey honey, how's Derek doing?  (She winks in my direction.)
Fiance:  Oh, he's great.  He's really happy he was able to get the charges lessened....

In case you are wondering - no, it is not possible for that to mean anything else than what one might think it does.

Have my friends dropped the bar on their standards for me?  I was told that, despite this, he's a great guy, and he'll be at their wedding, so I'll definitely get to meet him!!

Translation

So one of my good friends is on a dating site.  She recently received an email that went something like this:

Hi there! How is your day going? You have some great pictures on your
profile. How recent are they?
Well I hope your week is going well...


She was wondering what 'great pictures....how recent are they?' means.  We both translated this to mean 'did you gain weight since they have been taken?'


Please let us know of what you might think said email means.

Volkswagen Bug.

So the other day, I was on the expressway out to Aurora for the spectacular Coach outlet store.  On the way there, I encountered a Volkswagen Bug.

Do people still drive these cars?  I mean, apparently, the answer is yes.  I remember them being the super hot back when I was high school - and I'm not going to go into how long ago that was, but it was a while ago.  Anyhow.  They were trendy moreso than functional.  However, at this point in time, haven't they gone out of style?  I realize that some of them might still work - I'm not really sure.  However, I just can't wrap my head around someone owning a bug out of functionality.  I seem to remember (and I could be totally wrong) that they weren't particularly safe or cheap.  They were a fashion statement.  I've made quite a few of them myself - no judgment, bug owners.  However, I just can't wrap my head around why anyone might own a bug in the year 2011.  I can hear Ross Gellar screaming 'You've got a blacklight!  It's 1999!'

Your thoughts?  Any Volkswagen Bug enthusiasts out there?  Are these really cool out in the suburbs (like, say, Applebees)?  Can anyone think of a good reason to own a VW Bug in 2011?!

Just for Fun

5/6 of this picture missed the 'make a funny face' memo.....

Birthday.

So, as some of my good friends know - my birthday is coming up soon.  

The past couple years, I have celebrated like a 9 year-old at Chuck E Cheese.  I have invited almost all my friends, let people know weeks in advance, researched bars and restaurants, etc.  Sidenote - most of the people who come those this annual event will ask about it week in advance, before I bring it up.  I take it people enjoy this - we all need a reason to go out and celebrate.

Anyhow.  The one thing about this is that, regardless for how stupid this sounds, it ends up being stressful.  I worry that one or two of my friends won't know anyone else there and will feel uncomfortable.  I worry about having my apartment clean.  I worry about no one showing up and then feeling like a loser.   

Anyhow.  I was thinking, for the aforementioned reasons, that I wouldn't really do anything for my birthday this year - that I wouldn't plan something; maybe I'd have dinner with one or two of my closest friends, but that'd be it.

Well, as my mom so aptly put it - sometimes life happens while you're making other plans.  I was in a conversation the other day with another April birthday and the spouse of an April birthday.  It turns out, there very well may be a bar backroom rented out.  Stay tuned.  All my readers are invited.  

Get excited.

The Travel Bug Bit Me....

So, just as I was saying that prior to my Miami trip, I hadn't been out of town in forever, another trip has arrived on my horizon.  I'm San Diego bound with one of my best college friends.  Woohoo!

I'll be staying at the above resort (Humphrey's Half Moon Inn) - review to come.  I look very forward to this trip.  I have already 'Monica Gellared out' this trip and suggested a complete and total itinerary - I made sure to hold off on this until my counterpart booked her non-refundable airfare.  

Anyhow.  As I said, I'm very excited.  If anyone has any San Diego must-see/should avoid suggestions, I am very open to them.  I expect to be an avid traveler by the end of the year.  Pretty soon my passport will be full - maybe by the end of this year I'll even get my first passport.

This Just in....

Directly from Glamour Magazine:

Hey, it's ok...
...to tell your friend her boyfriend is horrible, if he is.

You'll have to excuse me.  I have at least one phone call to make.

Friendship

So recently, a good friend commented to me on how a good friend of hers completely went over the deep end.  She concluded the statement with 'if I ever go over the deep end like this, please be the voice of reason'.

I have, on multiple occasions, witnessed various friends go over said deep end.  I have handled the situation in various different ways each time.

I have come to a conclusion.  What can be done when a friend goes over the deep end?

Say nothing.  Smile, nod, and say nothing.

Please let me know if you disagree or have possibly had an experience in which a friend has replied "why yes, you are right, I AM going over the deep end, thank you so much for pointing it out".

Yet Another Question.

So recently, some good friends and I were having quite the enlightening conversation.  A curious topic came up.

What is one supposed to do when, hypothetically speaking, someone we care about is being a jerk?  Granted, usually the instinctive answer is to confront the issue, however,  if someone is being a jerk, there's already the issue of a lack of concern for one's feelings at hand - how receptive/concerned will he or she truly be?  I feel like whenever we, as people, confront someone for something, he or she will apologize because it is what is supposed to be done (and to feel better about him/herself as a person).  If that person actually felt sorry for what he or she did, he or she would have produced an apology without being prompted.

That, and I can definitely say the handful of times I've addressed issues with people, nothing's good come from it. Most of these people ended up gone from my life for various reasons, or, as mentioned earlier - produced insincere apologies (then committed said offenses again later).

Anyhow.

When someone we care about is a jerk, is there anything we can do whatsoever?  The more I think about it, I'm convinced the only real potential solution is waiting for this person to come around on his or her own.  Of course, we can always let someone know how disappointed we are with him or her as a person, but then there's the general assumption he or she will be gone from our life for good.

Editor's sidenote:  I know I am human.  I know I am at times a jerk.  I do not, in any way, think I am above such behavior.

Friends Inconsistencies....

Ok, so I was recently re-watching all the Friends Thanksgiving episodes.

On the fourth season of Friends, Phoebe mentions she needs to call her mom to ask her a left-handed cooking question.  Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but Phoebe's mom is dead and has been the entire series.

I tried to google this issue.  No one seemed to fully address this issue.  There are some blogs out there that seem to have a problem with the inconsistency about whether or not the tv remains on consistently throughout the scene, but no one seems to address the bigger issue.  Does Phoebe mean her step-mom?  Does she have a step-mom that's still around?  Why doesn't she say 'step-mom' then?

Has ANYONE else ever caught this?  Does anyone else have a problem with this?