Follow Up on an Article

So loyal reader Marek posted an article for my 'review and comment'.

In short - why are you not married?

Dear Marek:  which of the six reasons applies to me?

I look forward to a response.

Mr. Right or Mr. Good Enough?

So recently, a good friend relayed the following article.

Basically, it says, in short, that wise women settle for Mr. Good Enough. That the Sex and the City 'some are settling for nothing less than butterflies'/feminism movement have led women to have unrealistic expectations in men while time and the decent men (and chances of having a 'traditional family') slip away.

Now, I have a couple thoughts on this. I am all for being realistic. However, I am all for holding out mad/passionate/crazy love. There's some old quote 'don't wait for someone you can live with, wait for someone you can't live without', or something like that. Now, I am ALL about this way of thinking. However, might I mention that I honestly don't know if I ever want children, and, for that reason, I am not concerned about marrying by some certain time (if you listen carefully, you can hear my parents panicking in the background).

However. I realize there are a lot of women who feel differently. I've always personally thought that, if one's main priority is having babies, she should be looking more for a 'co-parent' as opposed to a lover (someone who shares beliefs on religion, what kind of life he wants to give the children, discipline, etc.) as opposed to someone with shared hobbies, a sense of humor, romance, passion, etc.

It's not necessarily that I think the latter group of qualities isn't as important; it's moreso that, kind of as this article implies, it's hard to find it all in one person. That, and someone who might be the ideal partner in terms of romance and companionship might not want the same things with respect to having a family/certain kind of life. If, say, one is in a relationship with someone she is crazy about, but said person has a conflict of interest (such as not wanting to get married or not wanting children), should one move on and try to find someone who can give her what she wants and risk losing the passion?

That, and sometimes, we all find someone who has all the qualities we want - and then that person is not so crazy about us. I've always vowed that if I couldn't have both, I'd rather have someone I was really crazy about than someone who was really crazy about me. However, realistically speaking, as an adult, I don't think I could be with someone who wasn't crazy about me.

However, I guess the short of it is I think it's really hard to find someone we're crazy about who wants the same kind of life and has the same values who is also crazy about us. It's really hard to find the total package - should we keep holding out for it? Do we need to be more realistic about people and love? As this author states, we cannot expect a complete and total fairytale - we are dealing with other human beings, and the better part of this pool of human beings begin to get taken as we continue to hold out for perfection. However, I am a firm believer that once one settles, he/she gets even less than he/she settles for. So, I dunno if it's ever a good omen if one goes into a marriage feeling he/she is settling.

Anyhow. Your thoughts? Should women (or people in general) settle for 'good enough' when it comes to marriage? Is it settling, or is it being realistic? Have women's standards become too high?