Willpower Instinct

I just finished reading The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal for the BlogHer Book Club - interesting discussion material found here.  (Requisite comment that I was compensated for this review found here.)

The author teaches a class on willpower in the psych department at Stanford.  She seems like she'd be an interesting person to take class from and it seems as though she really tries her best to take feedback from her students and apply it to how she presents her material.

Anyhow, I suppose this book falls into the 'self help' category, which I don't read from very often, so it's hard to compare how it stacks up to other books in its genre.  It read pretty quickly and was easy to understand, even when she got into explaining the scientific studies.  I may have zoned out a little during some portions when she was explaining which parts of the brain control what, but otherwise, she wholly kept my attention.  I was very reminiscent of books I had to read for various psych classes back in college, which I admittedly enjoyed.

The two main takeaway points I found most beneficial in this book:

1)  Don't beat yourself up for a slip-up - it is counter-productive.  It's kind of a knee-jerk reaction when one is trying to lose weight, quit smoking, stop drinking, etc. - when one indulges, she then starts hating on herself, but that just leaves one feeling bad about herself and seeking more comfort (perhaps from one of our vices).  Makes perfect sense but it isn't easy.  It makes me think of a quote I heard earlier this week - When you vow to live in forgiveness, don't forget to begin with yourself.  

2)  When one feels a craving - instead of trying to fight it, instead of beating yourself up for feeling said way (see above), just accept that these will come from time to time, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and imagine you're 'riding the wave' (like a surfer) of craving, imaging it will eventually crash, regardless of whether or not it is fed.  Interesting to think about.

All in all, I would recommend this book - it was an interesting and quick read.  It would be especially helpful to someone trying to make some positive changes in her life, which, I imagine, might be a lot of people at this time of the year.

Diary of a Submissive Review

So as my readers know, I am part of BlogHer.  I am part of a compensated review program for the book "Diary of a Submissive" by Sophie Morgan.

Anyhow.  I signed up for this book because I was intrigued by this genre of literature, with that rather popular "50 Shades of Grey" out there (which I have not read).  I wanted to give this a try.   As I said, I don't have experience with this style of writing, so a part of me feels I'm judging not necessarily this book but this genre in general, which might not be fair.  It's as if I saw a rom-com and I'm judging not necessarily whether I liked the specific movie but if I like cheesy little love stories instead.

That being said - I am not sure this genre is, well, for me.  However, for the reasons listed above, I'll try to be as fair as possible.

A brief synopsis:  Sophie (the main character) is a well-adjusted, successful woman who had a pleasant childhood and is living a good life, however, she likes to be completely dominated in, ahem, the bedroom.  She gets very graphic in her detail of what happens - during her escapes with various men over the years, she experiences being spanked, slapped, paddled, and tied up to the point of excruciating pain.  She also finds herself in various situations where her hands are bound and drool is dripping down her face, or she's told, by the man she's involved with, to call him sir, to thank him for punishing her, etc.  And she likes it.  It turns her on.

Now, for me personally, although I understand 'to each her own', I cannot wrap my head around enjoying this.  Sophie comments on how she feels she hates the man she's with (at one point in the book, she's involved with a f*** buddy, at another point, a man she's interested in a relationship with), however, after it's all over, she's enjoyed herself and is happy.  For me personally, if the guy I'm, ahem, 'with', tells me to call him sir, I'd tell him to get out of my sight. Although I understand the point Sophie makes that she enjoys this and seeks this out - I wish she would have elaborated more on why, exactly, this turned her on and how she reconciles her personal relationship with these men afterward.  Although it may be hard to articulate, this would have been what was most interesting to me (instead of hearing that she was lashed exactly 109 times).

Anyhow, I'd say overall, I didn't enjoy reading something so sexually explicit, however, as I stated above, it's probably not fair to hold this against the writer since I knew what I was getting into.  I gave this genre a try with this book.  I did think the writer had a generally pleasant writing style.  It was easy to move quickly through the book; she held interest and was (ahem) very detailed in her descriptions.   I'd be up for reading something else by this writer (in a different genre).  

Well This is Sad....

One of my favorite and most entertaining websites, My Very Worst Date, is shutting down.  I feel the moderators & I understand their reasoning.  Thank you for many great (and some not so great) stories.  I'm glad I got my own story in before this site ended.

I must say - it's very very challenging keeping a website up & running....

Armed & Awkward

So 'My Very Worst Date' has published my story.  Enjoy!

This blog is great (MVWD).  There's a ton of hilarious stories.  Sometimes having random people share their stories can be great.  Whoever created this website had a great idea.  I hope to have an idea like this soon.

I Found This Hilariously Accurate

From my blogging network ladies.

I am probably dead to a couple of people.  Or at least, have been at times, but have then, perhaps, been resurrected.  And there may be several who are dead tome for these exact reasons.  

2011 Reading Goal

So, one of my goals for 2012 was to read 12 books.  I didn't have any specifics on what kind of books they were, how many pages they needed to be, etc.  Yes, I realize these are big factors, seeing that, at times, one book can be over twice the length of another.  However, I didn't want to get pedantic.

Anyhow.  Drumroll please....

I fell short.  Whop whop.  Eleven books.  Just one shy.  I didn't make it.  I feel like a failure.  I kid.  Oh well.

Here's a list of the books I was able to finish:

1)  Save the Assistants by Lilit Marcus
2)  The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson (Editor's sidenote:  This book took me FOREVER - I would like to blame partially for my not being able to meet my reading goal.)
3)  Bossy Pants by Tina Fey
4)  What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen
5)  My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
6)  Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
7)  Summer in the City by Candace Bushnell
8)  Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal
9)  Love At First Bark by Julie Klam
10)  If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won't) by Betty White
11)  It Was Over When by Robert K. Elder

I THOUGHT about staying home all day Saturday reading to make the goal, seeing that I am already into Mindy Kaling's 'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)', and it seemed like a quick read.  However, instead, I just decided to up the ante for this year - I will do 13 books to make up for the missed one this year.  I am thinking I will have more time to accomplish this.

Did anyone else make any reading goals?  Were you able to keep them?  Do you feel my goal was a little weak?  Did you lose respect for me for not making it?  Don't answer that.  

An Angle....

So recently, I read a post by another blogger (I don't have it handy :-() about how hard it is to find an identity for one's blog - does one blog about a certain topic, or just topics as they come to mind?  Does one's blog have to be about something?  What is this blog about?  (I somehow, in some weird way, think of the 'what are we?' relationship talk when I think about this matter...I imagine myself asking my blog 'what, exactly, are you about?').  Anyhow.  As my long-term readers know, I have explored this identity crisis for my blog for a long time.  I have never really come to a conclusion...until now.  After 3+years....

Drumroll, please....

This blog is about personal relationships (not necessarily romantic) and human behavior.  Not every post, obviously, will be on this track - but I will try to have at least one a week on these matters.

Book Club - Love At First Bark

So, as most of my readers know, I am part of a blogging network, and, through said network, a book club. Well, recently, I participated in a group reading for Julie Klam's 'Love at First Bark'.

**Requisite disclaimer:  I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review, but, like everything found on this blog, the opinions expressed in said post are my own.

Anyhow - moving right along.   The author discusses three separate instances in which she went through moderate to great lengths to rescue/foster dogs in need.  She seems like an easy victim to every dog in need that crosses her path, although that certainly isn't a bad quality.  (No judgment.)

Overall, I found the author's writing style to be direct, humorous, and easy to read.  I imagine that Julie Klam, in real life, is one of those people who cracks herself up.  (Again, no judgment.)  Anyhow, I found it to be a quick, pleasant read based on her writing style.

Two of the biggest challenges I found reading this book were a) the reminders of how people, at times, are pointlessly cruel to animals and b) dealing with the fact that my 15 year-old Samantha is struggling.

But I digress.  In short, this was a good, humorous read about the ins and outs of fostering dogs and all the challenges one encounters throughout the process.  I was reminded that it certainly is not easy to save a dog - Klam clearly outlines all the red tape one might face whilst trying to do a good deed.

More discussions on said book to come.  

Is He Crazy?

So, as my readers know, I am part of a brilliant blog network.  One of my fellow bloggers raised an interesting point.  Basically, the question is if his exes are crazy, is he too?

Now, don't get me wrong, I know firsthand that there are PLENTY of crazy women out there.  However, whenever a guy tells me his ex-gf is crazy, I default to blaming him for either a) doing something to piss her off, and she reacted with the normal human emotion of anger or b) having bad judgment in partners (which then opens the can of worms of 'does he have bad judgment in general? does he not have a keen sense of the obvious? etc., etc.)

What are your thoughts?  When a guy says his ex is crazy, do you take it at face value, or somehow place some of the blame on him like I do?  What if there's more than one crazy ex?  Is this red flag of the year?  Did he then pick you cause he's in a pattern of picking, well, crazies?  Has anyone out there dated a guy with a 'crazy ex' who turned out to be totally normal?   Do normal, functioning members of society sometimes just go crazy on a dime, or did they always have it in them in the first place?!

Book Review!

It's here!

As I've mentioned before, I'm part of the BlogHer network.  About a month ago, I partook in their book club.  We read Sarah Dessen's 'What Happened to Goodbye'.  The link above features my ever-so-insightful commentary on the matter.  In all seriousness, it was a good book and I'd recommend it.  Details in the link above.

Promiscuity.

So as most of my readers know, I am now part of a blogging network.  I've discovered quite a few interesting, hilarious, insightful blogs out there - one of them being Hooking Up Smart.

A couple of this blog's recent posts have stirred some thoughts in my mind.  There's a point brought up that men who've, ahem, been around the block, are not the best husband material (don't buy the floor model, ladies!).  Also, there's another post in which the potential economic consequences of promiscuity are outlined.

This lead me to a question.   Let's say, for argument sake, one is completely careful in protecting oneself and others from unwanted pregnancy and any disease (which I know is a bit of a big leap at times) - are there other potential negative consequences of casual hookups?   Are there other unforseen problems with promiscuity?  Or, can it, in the right context, if everyone is on the same page, be harmless?

I know the church and various elders/traditionalists have their views on this.  I have, on many occasions, heard various people insist that there would be no harm to a casual encounter.  Are there other consequences to individuals (or society on the whole) that are not immediately seen by the blind eye?  Or, is there a safe place for some casual, ahem, encounters?   Do some people, at times, see them as necessary?  Your thoughts?  Your own experiences?

Please share.

Book Club.

So I have been chosen by my new blog network to review a book.  (Well, quite a few bloggers have also been chosen.  Regardless, I like to think I'm special.)

The book is 'What Happened to Goodbye' by Sarah Dessen.  I have heard the author's name before but never read anything by her.  I believe she's typically a teen author.  However, I often times enjoy teen books more than adult lit because the characters typically have more depth and the story line is usually slightly less formulaic.  Or, perhaps, in my life - I read the most when I was a teen, and I could relate to the other angsty teen characters, whereas now, when I read, I rarely find a character to which I truly relate.

I think the central theme of the book is starting over.  Recently, a good friend of mine and I had a discussion about starting over and new beginnings - I shall have a lot to say about this in a later blog post.

My blog network, of course, has some specific guidelines on the review.  They stated that we, the reviewers, must make sure it's a good quality book report - we cannot just say we did or didn't like it, we have to say why.  This makes me nervous.  I cannot remember the last time I wrote a 'book report'.  (Does reviewing a book on amazon.com, or better yet, THIS BLOG, count?).  Anyhow - hopefully I can find my high school AP English notes quickly.

Review of said book to come.

Update on My Life & this Blog

(Editor's sidenote:  are they maybe one in the same?  Sigh.  Tear.)

So my blog has been accepted to a blogging network.  (www.BlogHer.com).  I feel like I just got accepted into a secret sorority.  Or my toddler just got accepted to some elite prep pre-school.  Anyhow.  Immense pride on my end.  Or something like that.

Anyhow, I love this so far because it is getting my blog some extra exposure.  BlogHer is an all female blog network.  A lot of the other blogs I am linked with seem to be pretty amusing - it looks like I better up my game.  The fact that I have not blogged much over the past week certainly isn't helping my case.  Sigh. I shall come up with some new material.