Stitous?

Ok, now, I'm not one for curses....

(Sidenote:  And I am taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith, with my car.  I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitous.)

Let me tell you a brief timeline of my car - Henry the Honda's - life story.  Forgive me, the exact dates are not available.

--Late 2004-Early 2005:  Henry the Honda, a blue 2005 Honda Accord, is born and comes to America

--June 2005:  I go to a car facility to buy a blue Honda Accord.  However, as my family and I are in the car dealership, the car I was buying is being run into by another car in the lot of Schaumburg Honda by a Schaumburg Honda employee.  So, I ended up having to go to another car facility to get Henry.  Fate.

--August 2005:  I go to a party at a coworker's apartment in Chicago.  As I am leaving, I see Henry, parked on the street, with another car parked up against, pressing into the bumper.  As I move it, there is a visible dent.  I have an eyewitness.  I go to the Chicago Police, file a report, etc.  The next day, the damage is not visible.  

--October 2005:  Henry and I get in a minor accident during rushhour (status pending)

--January 2007:  Car accident - another car passing on the shoulder of the road sideswipes me.  I got the license plate, however, the other driver was uncooperative with her insurance and the police.  Eventually, her insurance took responsibility and paid for the repairs (after over a month of frustrations).

--September 2007:  Henry, while parked on the street, is scratched on the side in what is presumed to be a hit and run accident.  Large white scratch on the side.

--October 2007:  Henry and I are hit by a driver trying to cross Addison.  Driver and her insurance accept responsibility and pay for the repairs.  This driver hit right into the scratched area, so the scratch subsequently is repaired.

--December 2007:  Henry's side is dented in yet another hit and run while being parked on the street.  Large size dent - friends comment on said dent.

--Summer 2008:  Dent seems to have 'melted out' of the car.  This is my theory.  Kind of like the previous summer incident - I (very non-scientifically) believe the dent disappeared via humidity.   That, or someone repaired my car when I wasn't looking.  You decide which is more likely.

Have you ever met such a young car with such an extensive resume of repairs?  I probably couldn't sell him for half his blue book value.  He must secretly love me so very much that he wants to be with me so bad - he has done what it takes to make sure that I can't sell him.  Also, every time something happens, he seems to find away to fix himself.  How many people can boast of having a car that fixes itself?  Sigh.  

Henry truly is my miracle baby.

The Secret - A Followup

This woman above is Rhonda Byrne, the author of "The Secret" - a New York Times bestseller endorsed by Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, Larry King, etc. Not to judge a book by its cover (pardon the pun), but, well....

Ok, here's the deal:

1) A ton of people bought this book

2) If one goes to Amazon.com, a ton of people positively reviewed this book

3) Some influential, powerful, successful people have endorsed this book

(I think maybe all of the above should also check out "The Emperor's New Clothes" - but that's a whole different story. Why yes, I will go on with ridiculous puns FOREVER.)

A brief synopsis - and it hurts my head to even think back to this book - "The Secret" reference is the law of attraction. Like attracts like. With a loose interpretation (I am a liberal, after all), she possibly could be on to something. Positive people seem to attract other positive happy people and perhaps maybe a little extra good fortune - maybe a if one is really friendly, polite and perky, the barista will slip you a free cookie.

To take it a little further - maybe having a certain mindset does subconsciously affect our actions. Example: someone who strongly thinks "I am losing weight" will use this as a point of reference when it comes time to make a decision: Should I wake up a little early to work out? Yes, because I am losing weight!

However, Byrne does not take on a loose interpretation - no, not at all. She takes on a ridiculously strict interpretation. The law of attraction is pretty much failproof in her book - if you put yourself in a certain mindset - you absolutely most certainly will achieve exactly what you want, no two ways about it. Why yes, we really do have the much control over not only our lives but also the entire world!

The book is then peppered with some ludicrous examples (a man who would write himself fake checks every night, then real checks started arriving in the mail) and some desperate but necessary attempts to cover her ass - if you think something and it doesn't happen, you must not have been thinking it strong enough; if something bad happens to you, you must have been thinking it in the back of your head, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T REALIZE IT.

I'm not going to dedicate much time to going over the obvious holes in this theory - what if I am going up against another person for a job - and we're both using the secret! What happens then? There wasn't a chapter about the secret's method of tie-breaking (this reminds me of in Bruce Almighty, when everyone won the lottery - $17 apiece!). What if a baby is born with, say, fetal alcohol syndrome? Was the baby thinking it on itself? Do babies even think?

I hate hate HATED this book. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it may have had some merits if it hadn't gone so far - this book was simply insulting to the intelligence of any adult of sound mind and body. The false guarantees she promises, the 'blame the victim' mentality - how desperate and hopeless does one have to be to believe this?

HOWEVER.

See my points 1, 2 and 3 above. People bought it and bought into it like mad. Is this a statement about our society? Are we in a place where we've become so desperate and pathetic to believe almost anything? (What's ironic is this book implies we can bring health, wealth, and happiness upon ourselves so easily - yet as this book's popularity soared, well, look at what's happened to the state of America's economy, etc. How come that positive thinking that this book recommended hasn't brought peace and prosperity?)

Anyhow - this book and the phenomenon surrounding it has raised several questions for me - how desperate are we for a quick fix? What can prevent us from buying into basically anything and everything these ridiculous self-help gurus are selling? Will we believe anything we want to?

Thoughts?

Appreciation

I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to my loyal and semi-regular readers - Marcia, Emily, Ana, Jessica, Jeannine, Rachel, Angelique, Ashley, Matt, Tom, Emily's friend Kevin, Mrs. Perv - you are all appreciated. Your clicking the ads on my blog is even more appreciated. I really hope I'm not missing anyone. You are all loved.

Please comment. Please recruit.

Nerds!

Ok, so as my readers probably realize - I own a lot of books.  In case I haven't mentioned it before, this is because at the Sun-Times, every couple months we have 'booksales' with brand new hardcovers for $1 each.  It's a really well-loved employee perk - the inside of a booksale looks much like the Filene's Basement wedding dress sale.  

Anyhow, I was just looking over a book I snatched about four months ago - "Nerds:  Who They Are and Why We Need More of Them", by Dr. David Anderegg.  The first line of the book description is "Are you socially awkward?".  How could one not be intrigued?

Anyhow, I haven't read the book yet, but in the brief description, he defines nerds (those who are technologically and academically advanced or passionate about niche subjects) and how the social stigma and stereotype we have associated with them is potentially greatly affecting our society.

It sounds kind of quirky at a first glance, however - as children begin to discover what it means to be a "nerd", does this affect their academic performance and discourage them from getting involved in certain interests?  On a larger level - this could possibly affect us in a competitive global economy!  International math and science testing shows American teens coming in 24th place amongst the world's most developed nations.   There have been a lot of studies looking in to why American teens don't do better, considering our quality of life and quality of education available.  I think this man could be on to something!

He also raises the idea that we may be affected by certain social stereotypes long after we should know better.  I find this interesting because in a previous blog about another book - I noticed a lot of famous and successful women milling over their childhood unpopularity - it seemed interesting to me that people in their shoes could be stuck on something so seemingly trivial.  I even raised the question - are nerds the ones ruling the world?  Are they (painfully ironically) not smart enough to realize that their own nerdiness is a good thing?

America - we need to re-market the nerd for our own good! 

I cannot wait to start reading this book.   And I, for one, fully embrace the nerdiness associated with being interested in reading about nerds.  

TBS - You Suck!

Just fyi - I want to take a moment to bitch about something.  So, you all know, I love the TBS show "My Boys".  Well, there are commercial on TBS constantly about how 'if you miss an episode, you can catch them on TBS.com'....well, NO.  You can't!  NOT IF YOU OWN AN APPLE!

Let me tell you, it took a lot of googling, installing unnecessary software, and even getting help from the apple store employees to lead to one conclusion - TBS.com is NOT apple friendly!  

GRR.  Doesn't TBS realize in the year 2008, Apple is supposed to own 20% of the computer market (one if its highest shares ever!)?  Do TBS.com's advertisers realize they are missing a very important segment of the market?!?!  I HOPE THEY DO!  Other sites such as NBC.com are not apple unfriendly.  

TBS.com - Fix this problem!!!!

Dianetics

So I think the Chicago Dianetics Center is stalking me.  I know it sounds absurd, but last time I blogged about them, I swear, five minutes after I hit publish for said post, I got a gmail notification - it was another e-mail from THEM!

I dismissed this as a coincidence (is there such a thing as a coincidence though???).  However, very recently, I received yet another e-mail from them.

Subject line:  How to Live With Children

This settles it.  The Chicago Dianetics Center (which is not in Chicago, by the way) must know exactly how I feel about children!!!

Chicago Dianetics Center - you best watch out.  Two words:  restraining order.  You're on my list (along with Marlo Thomas for St. Jude's Hospital).  

Riddle

Q:  How many roommates does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:  2

Q:  How long does it take said roommates to change said bulb?

A:  45 minutes

Perhaps...

...I should come up with a new topic to blog about, so I can stop getting dating site ads all over my blog.  I dunno what sparked the all the marriage and dating posts lately.  Hmm.  It's almost as bad as all the political ones about a month and a half ago.  

Love and Marriage

So, my good friend Matt and I have been having some back-and-forth blogging on the subject of marriage and dating.  Although I don't agree with all of his points, I thought he had a very interesting one:  

Marriage is a lot more than a piece of paper, double income and easily accessible sex. Our culture has just tried to dilute it down to that.

Interesting point, Matthew (who, for the record, is married).

This raises quite a few questions in my mind - what are the pros of being married (as opposed to living with someone or being in a serious relationship - not as opposed to being single)?  Have we lost sight of these pros?  Do these pros outweigh the potential cons of being married?

I'll try to weigh in my opinions...after I get some feedback.  :)

Dating, Part Deux?

Ok, so since I last blogged about dating, one of the ads that showed up on the bottom of my site read:

plentyoffish.com

We delete members unfit to date!

Now, praytell, what makes one 'unfit to date'?  Don't get me wrong, I know what makes one unfit to date (controlling, still in love with an ex, commitment phobic, selfish, sadistic, immature, stop me before I go on forever).   

Now, someone with more experience than me feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, I don't have any experience with dating sites (and I'm not saying this to try to sound cool) - but is there anything one could say about oneself in a self-created dating profile that would indicate one is 'undateable'?   What, in their book, red-flags someone?  I can only assume one wouldn't describe oneself as immature, selfish, etc. 

I guess what amuses me most - maybe this site is trying to publicize itself as having a high quality of people on it - however, I do think this campaign might hurt it a little.   I think some people who have turned to online dating like not having a to deal with facing rejection.  Or, at least the sting of rejection is somewhat subdued seeing that it happens in cyberspace.  

I would think one who seriously fears rejection would be afraid of trying said site.   How bad would it feel to be rejected by a dating site?   It's not that one person doesn't want to date you, the entire dating community doesn't want to have you!

Conversely - I think the commercials for the chemistry.com website, which spoke about how they don't reject anyone but eharmony sent these seemingly normal, attractive, successful people "Dear John" letters, really hit the nail on the head for those who fear rejection.   I guess though, sites like these that don't reject anyone can boast they are carrying any and every weirdo out there.  

Thoughts?

Dating

So, now, is it just me, or isn't dating one of the most awkward things out there?  Aren't first dates just the worst? Now, I'm not saying that I don't like dating.  It's fine once things get comfortable.  It's a necessary evil to finding happiness.  However - a friend of mine and I were discussing some dilemmas.

What if, on a first date, one is to see a movie?   A BAD movie.... Afterwards, there's always some compulsion to talk about the movie.  What's one to say?  Especially if the other person either treated for the movie or merely suggested the movie...does it look ungrateful to say "that was the WORST movie I've ever seen!"  Does it sound like one is having a bad time?  I would think, then, the inviter would feel awkwardly guilty.  He or she might feel compelled to apologize, even though, hopefully, it was completely unintentional.  Come to think of it, I can think of a couple movies that I'd like show to some of my worst enemies while they are tied down in a room alone in front of a tv.  

However, if one hates the movie, but, to seem nice and grateful and pleasant, says "it was pretty good" - it might come off as though this person has bad taste in movies.  If I were to see a God-awful movie with someone I don't know all that well and he were to say he liked it - I'd definitely think 'no way.  there's no way I can put of with this for the next however many years of my life'.  Also, if both parties hate the movie - then there's something to bond about - similar taste - however, there are risks of coming off a certain way if one is too honest.  Is it better to be honest and seem like a jerk with good taste, or to be a nice person with bad taste?   Which kind of person is worse to date?

I know some people will simply say a movie is not a good choice for a first date (you don't get to talk much to actually get to know each other).  However, I kind of think the same goes for other kinds of dates - like if you go out for a dinner and it ends up that you don't like what you ordered (or don't like the restaurant).  If you choke it down and say it's good - you run the risk of "I know!! I LOVE this place.  I come here all the time - let's come back next week!!"  What does one do?  Should she (or he) be blatantly honest?

Sigh.   

F*R*I*E*N*D*S?

So there's some quiz circulating the internet/facebook/etc. - "Which Friends character are you?"

I think I took it and it declared me Rachel.  Now, not that I have any beefs with that.  However,  I think it's blatantly clear which Friends character I am.

"I'm not so good with the advice...can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Just My Feelings....

So I've received an e-mail forward multiple times that goes something like this:

It is said that
86% of Americans believe in God.. Therefore I have a very hard time
understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God We Trust' on our
money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the
14% to BE QUIET!!!

Now, I'm not commenting on removing (the word) God from the Pledge of Allegiance or money.  I'm not commenting on my own personal beliefs.  I'm not commenting on agreeing or  disagreeing with this statement.  I'm not commenting on the content of this statement.

With one exception.

Is is just me, or is there something about the notion "you're in the minority with your belief, therefore you should shut up" a little....un-American?

Did Anyone Happen to Notice?

....lately, at fast food restaurants, if you ask for a cup of water (instead of shelling out $2 for a pop, or $3 for bottled water), they give you the SMALLEST cup you've ever seen?  Some restaurants will give you a standard size plastic cup, sure, but a lot have taken to the dixie cup with a lid.  Where do they find these tiny lids?  They have to be specially made. 

So, at said restaurants, one now has three choices - 1) constantly getting up for a refill mid-meal (kind of annoying), 2) splurging on buying a beverage (which have a HUGE profit margin for the company), or 3) really rationing one's sips.  

I think next time I'm offered a dollhouse sized cup of water, I'm going to ask for a spare five.  If all the other water drinkers do this, it'll increase companies' costs and perhaps encourage them to shy away from said ridiculous new practice.  Who's with me?!

Between Barack and a Hard Place

Did John McCain really vote against a bill requiring health insurance companies to cover birth control if they're covering freaking viagra!?!?!! This feminist is having a VERY hard time with that. Despite my dislike for Obama, I better stop with the jokes....

Well, let me squeeze one in....

Q: How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. He hopes it will change itself.

Battle of the Bloggers

So the other day, I wrote this post about dating and romance.

My good and long time friend Matt wrote a comment in response - scroll down on the above link to see it.  I'd like to debate some interesting points he brought up.  

He asked the question - is this really a broken system that needs to be fixed?

My thoughts - is it a broken system?  In some ways, yes.  Can it be fixed?  That's a more complicated question.

Here's the main dilemma for women that I see in the old fashioned system - it's a lot about sitting around and waiting to be picked by a man; it's not the mutual selection process I think dating, ideally, should be.  

Matt (and other men) will probably argue here that it is a mutual selection process - women can say no to being asked out, marriage proposals, etc. - they have a choice in the matter.  Also, there's the point that having to be the one putting it all out there and asking another out, wearing one's heart on one's sleeve, having to face rejection - it's no picnic in the park for a guy at times.

However - let's look at it for a girl - what is she supposed to do if there's a guy she likes (we have thoughts, feelings, attractions and preferences too) - if he isn't asking her out, is she supposed to sit there silently and assume if he wanted her, he'd say so?  What if he is shy?  How come men can go after whom they want but women can't?  Isn't this system all about sitting and waiting to be picked?  Isn't there some old truism the importance of taking action to get what one wants?

So, the system has evolved (perhaps) - somewhere somehow it suddenly became acceptable for women to pursue men - and it started happening.  Also, it suddenly became acceptable for women to casually sleep with men they might not be in a serious relationship with, to live with their boyfriends without being married, etc.  

Now, I have often crudely stated that the modern woman can fuck anyone she wants - but ultimately she has only fucked herself.  I think one of the biggest perks of monogamy, for men, was physical intimacy - however, now men can get easily find a one night stand in a bar - men can get some of the best perks of a relationship without one.  

Also, with a lot of couples living together and basically having all the perks of a marriage (minus the legal technicalities) - what's the motivation to take an extra step and tie the knot?  I've actually heard stories of couples who have decided to tie the knot because one person in the relationship has lost a job and needs health insurance - that's pretty far from romantic, in my book.  I think women - generally speaking - have more enthusiasm for tying the knot - but what's a woman to do other than sit and wait for a proposal from her man?  

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there aren't a good amount of men out there who still value monogamy, relationships and marriage - I know they're still out there.  However, as the dating system has evolved over the past 40 or 50 years, are women any better off?  In romantic relationships between men and women - are women still sitting and waiting on men to act?  (<--I'd like to refer to this line as a "Carrie Bradshawism".)

Matt (and others) - I expect a response.  

20something Blues?

According to Cosmo (insert Jay Leno's "my bible" joke here), a new study shows that recent college grads are more likely to be depressed than their older counterparts.  

Now, speaking from my personal experience - I felt it myself in the first year after graduation.  After having been in a place where I lived on my own (well, so to speak, with several peer roommates) with maybe two to three hours of class a day (I remember distinctly thinking I had no idea how I'd gotten through one day of high school because more than four hours of class seemed intolerable) to come back to live with my parents (as many of us do - for those of us who don't - money is ubertight) and go back to the 9-5 M-F grind if we were lucky enough to even find a (guarantee-ably low-paying) job felt like a step backwards - or at least a step into a much less happy place than the permanent spring break trip that, at times, college is. 

(Sidenote:  yes, I really really like parentheses.  They are almost my favorite punctuation mark, second only to the beloved dash.)

The real world is rough.  The transition is  brutal.  My question is this - is there anything that can ease the blow?  Is circumstance the sole cause of depression?  What can we do to eliminate these college grad blues?  

If I'd Known Then....

So, I read a book and now I shall review it - as usual.  

The book - "If I'd Known Then: Women in Their 20s and 30s write Letters to Their Younger Selves" edited by Ellyn Spragins.   In short, it contains a bunch of short chapters (3-7 pages) which starts with a brief explanation of some period of turmoil or challenge in her younger years and then her letter.  There are some major heavy hitters featured in the book - Jessica Alba, Sasha Cohen, Natasha Bedingfield, and some business bigwigs who might not carry the name recognition.

Now, I definitely found most of the women's stories interesting - not necessarily their personal struggle but their path to success.  As usual, I liked the format of short stories (this could lead to a lot of potential snide comments about my attention span, etc.).  

However, a couple criticisms.  I honestly wasn't all that impressed with the letters.  There seemed to be one constant message every woman was saying to herself - 'hey, hang in there'.  All of the advice almost every woman offered herself was, for the most part, predictable.   

Although I liked the short format - perhaps it was too abbreviated for the reader to be able to fully grasp this woman and her situation - it all comes off as general vague truisms.  At times it seems as though this woman has truly written the letter to herself, meant for no one else to see, and it was somehow snatched from her home like a sex tape stolen by the paparazzi - the nicknames, references to (presumably) inside jokes - there was something about some of the letters that left the reader outside the woman's circumstance.

I must say, I can only assume the book was meant to be inspirational; although I enjoyed reading it, I wasn't particularly inspired.  Perhaps part of the issue was that, although it explained the women's success, it didn't explain the journey there, nor did it really explain how these women overcame these points of adversity in their lives - it merely identified the situation and then came the 'ooh ooh child, things are gonna get easier' note.  

I guess another qualm I have with the book, in general - most of these women's 'traumas' weren't all that interesting or out of the ordinary.  The only ones that really stuck out to me - Aimee Mullins (an athlete/actress/model with prosthetic legs), Zainab Salbi (an Iraqi woman sent into an arranged abusive marriage), and Bethany Hamilton (a pro surfer who lost an arm in a shark attack in her teen years).  

Other than that - there was an overwhelming amount of 'I was a nerd in junior high/high school, people called me names, I had no friends, I ate lunch alone in the library'.  Although I'm sure of the profound effect this had on these women's lives - in comparison with the other stories - it couldn't help but look whiny (in comparison with a life changing disability, in my book,  this crisis screams 'count your blessings').  

I guess this raises two questions to me - how long does the trauma of a brief childhood stint with unpopularity last?  And, more importantly - if one looks at the resumes of these participants - are dorks the ones ruling the world?!?!!

Food for thought.

Also, after reading this book, I couldn't help but want to write a letter to a younger Jaime.  However, that is obviously way too personal to ever publish on this blog.  

Bushism

George W. Bush on computers in a 2006 interview:

"....one of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps.  It's very interesting to see, I've forgot the name of the program (editor's note:  the name of said program:  Google Maps) but you get the satellite and you can - like, I kinda like to look at the ranch.  It reminds me of where I want to be sometimes."

George, you're not alone.  I, too, wish you were at the ranch.  

Some Things Never Change....

So, let me preface this blog post with this - some people feel I have ill-contrived views dating and relationships.  I feel everyone else has ill-contrived views and I'm right.  

A lot has changed in dating in relationships in the past, let's say, century.   Today's modern woman can approach a man and ask him out if she wants - it is totally accepted as normal.   She can sleep with whomever she wants - be it a romantic partner or casual fling.   She can live with a man without the ring if she so chooses.   Some would say she has all the freedom and control she could ask for.

However.

One thing that hasn't changed - the job of proposing marriage is still considered a man's domain.  Of all the couples I know personally (not just peers but family members, etc.) - I do not know one single couple where the man didn't ultimately pop the question (although some will argue that they, as a couple, had discussions on the matter beforehand, that it was a mutual decision, etc. - it was always ultimately the man who bought the ring and asked the question).  

Although some might argue that a woman COULD propose - I think it's safe to say that it's still considered taboo.  Whenever there's a story about a woman proposing - there's a presumption that the man wasn't ready and was pressured.  

So, that leaves me with one question - ladies, are we still living on men's schedules?  I definitely think the process of going through with getting married is, generally speaking, more important to women than to men - I think as long as a man feels secure that his woman isn't leaving him, he's pretty much content; where women are all about the process of getting married (sometimes to a ridiculous extent).  Ladies, are we better off than we were 40 years ago?  Would it be better if more women started proposing now?  Am I the only one who views this as a potential problem?  What would fix this conundrum?   

My Favorite Show on TV

My boys!  Woohoo!  Quite possibly the best show currently in new episodes on television - I'd even pick it over So You Think You Can Dance (which is an entirely different genre).  Dare I say it's fair competition for NBC's The Office?

One thing that amazes me - it's put out by TBS.  Now, don't get me wrong - in the rerun/movie department, TBS is king.  However, when it comes to its own programming - there have been some craptacular events I can't even forget no matter how hard I try (She's a Lady, The Real Gilligan's Island, and whatever that horrific show about a bizarre British woman coming to America was - produced by Courteney Cox and David Arquette - sufficed to say the Friends curse is alive and well).  

Anyhow.  The characters are very real, normal people.  Attractive yet not perfect looking.  Living very believable lives (for the most part).  Hanging out at very real Chicago locations (this is part of why I like it).  Spectacular.  

One thing that's a little unsettling to me though - the main character.  She's a female.  Single.  Living on the north side of Chicago.  Originally from the suburbs.  A writer.  Working at the Chicago Sun-Times....

What is the name of this show's creator?  Do I need to keep a better watch over my shoulder?  Once PJ starts dancing, carrying Coach bags or shopping at Express - I'm retaining legal counsel.

Recurring Nightmare

So, twice in the past week I've had a nightmare that I'm back (or maybe still?) in college and I forgot to do something really important.   In the first dream, I was living in my sorority house for a third year (which would NEVER happen) and I almost forgot to go to room picks so I didn't have anywhere to live.  In my second dream, I was going to be a senior in college (again)  and I forgot to register for classes, so I was scrambling to register at the last minute.  So weird.  Also, you know how sometimes in dreams, when you wake up and think it wasn't really a dream but reality, and it takes a couple minutes to realize it was just a dream?  This happened both times.  When I woke up, I started scrambling to get things in order - it wasn't until a couple minutes later that I realized what was really happening.  

What does this all mean?!?!

Offended By Spam

So, I (well, my e-mail address) somehow got on the solicitation list from the Chicago Dianetics Center.  

Sidenote:  Dianetics is a set of ideas and practices regarding the relationship between spirit, mind and body that were developed by L. Ron Hubbard (name sound familiar?  Think Scientology.).  Courtesy of Wikipedia.

So, lately, I've gotten a couple bits of spam....

1)   Life Need Repair?

Come in today for a free Life Repair consultation.

 

Our Life Repair Program consists of an extremely personalized individual profile dividing your life into various divisions so we can see exactly what in your life needs to be handled with the most urgency and speed.

 

Next, we address those issues with the exact thing to handle it immediately so it does not return. 

 

Call today to schedule your free consultation

2)  The Unconscious, Subconscious or Reactive Mind Underlies and Enslaves Man

It's the source of your nightmares, unreasonable fears, upsets and any insecurity.

 

LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR REACTIVE MIND

 

Buy and read Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health by L. Ron Hubbard

 

It contains discoveries heralded as greater than the wheel or fire.

3)  Why Can't You Trust Your Significant Other??

Hi,

 

This Monday at 7:30 pm we will be hosting a free lecture called "Why can't you trust your significant other?"

 

In this lecture you will learn:

1.       Why people cheat in relationships.

2.       How to KNOW whether someone is trustworthy.

3.       How to repair failed relationships.

4.       Why you experience miss-emotions about your significant other like:

·         Sadness

·         Anxiety

·         Worry

·         Anger

·         Hatred

 

You are invited. 

Needless to say, I feel like a 35 year-old man who has been sent a solicitation for Viagra or the Hair Club for Men.  What makes them think my life needs repair??  And I don't have a significant other - but if I did, I better be able to trust him, if he wants to remain my significant other.  Chicago Dianetics Center - you are barking up the wrong tree!!  Why don't you get back to brainwashing Katie Holmes!!  

Defending the Wrongfully Accused

Now, in today's Sun-Times, within the first three pages, one can find stories on three separate instances of men who killed/tried to kill their wives.

People around the office have been commenting on it. Many women have been making the comment 'I'm glad I'm not married' or 'I'm never getting married'. Whenever there are very public stories of very unfortunate situations involving a married couple (such as this, or a raging celeb divorce - oh, we've got those in the daily paper too!) - these lamentations come out.

I would like to propose an alternative theory - in these specific cases, it's not the institution of marriage - it's the asshole(s) involved in it.

Now, granted - let me say this. I'm not married. I don't know what it's like to be married. And, I understand that planning a life with and being with the same person day in and day out for decades on end can be challenging and stressful in many ways. I understand that it's something that one doesn't truly understand unless he or she is experiencing it, and I understand that it might push one to do things he or she normally wouldn't.

WITHIN REASON.

Is murder within reason? Um, not so much!!!

When people hear stories like this - they look to blame marriage. I'm not sure who or what is to blame, exactly, but I don't think marriage is the right target. I'd sooner say to swear off the opposite (or, I suppose, same) sex, dating, romance, relationships, or people in general. Although I'm not sure these are the right targets either, I think they're closer to the bullseye.

Here's my personal take - it takes a certain kind of person to murder someone. We all have certain limits to our character. A normal, decent, good person is not going to be driven to murder by marriage. He (or she) will address conflicts within the relationship in other ways. Most people I know who have sworn off marriage are either a) in a relationship that is pretty close to the equivalent of being married or b) still quick to trust and date.

Not that I'm saying these people should be swearing off all of the aforementioned. However, in the same sense that I wouldn't want to be married to the kind of person who would do something so horrendous, I wouldn't want to be casually hooking up with him either. If someone is a questionable character - what good is ANY romantic involvement with the person?

My proposed solution...I don't really have one. But I think people are using marriage as a scapegoat to justify staying in a relationship with or getting involved with someone whose character is questionable, as if this makes everything ok (it's ok, cause we're not married!). I think we need to more objectively evalute and be more cynical to other people, not institutions. Although I realize that just because two people are good people doesn't mean they can necessarily make a relationship work with each other (in or out of marriage), I think if there's a red flag that one shouldn't be married to someone because of issues of character, the same goes that one probably shouldn't be dating him or her, either.

(Me, recommending cynicism. Surprising?)

Living the Dream?!?

So, when I was much younger, I wanted to be a writer.  It started as a young adult fiction series writer (Ann M. Martin, anyone?!?!), which then progressed into an advice columnist (Dear Jaime...), which then progressed into a journalist.   I wanted to specifically write an opinion column (the kind where I could rant about anything I wanted to).

However, somewhere along the line, partially because of the journalist lifestyle, partially out of the dwindling number of journalism jobs in the country, partially because of a need for stability and a decent income, partially out of having other dreams as well (don't we all?), partially for a lot of reasons, I became disenchanted and took a different career path and majored in advertising.  So here I am now.

Only, I was thinking - the whole idea that our career should be what we do in our spare time; what we would do if we didn't have to work...   I have this blog where I get to write reviews, critiques and commentary on politics and current events.   Through this, I kind of am living out my dream....

Only, I'm not getting paid for it.

Small technicality?!

Looking for Some Reading Material?

So, in case I don't update this blog often enough for your liking and you need some reading material (or perhaps a politics fix), try googling either of the following (with quotations):  "McCain denies" or "Obama denies".   Both promise hours of reading material and hundreds of thousands of entries.

In the spirit of the political campaign, I did some google wars....

McCain denies vs. Obama denies

Advantage (or really, shouldn't it be disadvantage) Obama

McCain lies vs. Obama lies

Advantage Obama (by over double...)

McCain flip-flops vs. Obama flip-flops

Advantage McCain

McCain is a rockstar vs. Obama is a rockstar

Advantage Obama (duhhhh)

No results found for "mccain is a rockstar". There you have it!!

The Secret

I plan on doing an in-depth piece on said book - but first, before I do, I'm wondering - have any of my blog readers read said book?  What were your thoughts and opinions?  Please leave them here - I would love to hear.

Indecent Exposure

So, twice today, on two separate occasions, I saw a man sitting in a car masturbating!!?!?  YUCK! Ew, ew, ew!  This was NOT how I wanted to spend my day off!!  One on of the occasions - it was blatant intentional harassment, so I was able to get the license plate and reported it (he apparently was blatantly intentionally harassing other women in the area, according to the Chicago police).

My question - why!?!?  Ok, I get why to do said act - but in public!?!  Are they homeless?  They both had decently nice cars, so I'm guessing not.  Do they not have an appropriate place where they can do said act?  The second man seemed to be attempting to be discreet about it, but SERIOUSLY.

Now, I get it that the kind of men who do this, these exhibitionists - the first guy I came across - are pervs who are in some way getting a kick out of this - but still, I'm wondering - how?  What's the thrill?  Do they, in some way, think this is a turn on to women?  Let me tell you something - it's not.  It was in better judgment when Britney flashed the paparazzi.

(I'd insert a joke about how if you want to turn on a woman, flash your WALLET at her - although I'm afraid some people might take this the wrong way.  Oops, too late.)

Here is my advice, gentle....err, I mean, men - ALWAYS assume we DON'T want to see it.  If we happen to feel otherwise, I promise, we'll let you know.  Thank you.

Book Review

So I said I'd review the book and here I am, doing so!  The book being, of course, Debunked, by Richard Roeper (which was returned to me signed with a personalized message - sigh).  Ok, moving right along.

The book - hi-fucking-larious!  Almost to the point of embarrassment - I couldn't read it in public because I'd kept on bursting into fits in laughter which got some interesting looks from strangers.  (In response to George W. Bush's suggestion to use less gas in lieu of rising gas prices - 'see, here's the funny thing about gas - we need it to make our cars go!')

What I liked best about the book was the format of short 5-20 page chapters - he didn't drone on and it read just like his daily column in the paper (which I obviously read daily).  Something about his writing style - the dry wit,  perhaps, gets the better of me every time.  

However, I have a few potential criticisms of the book.  Richard Roeper and I are on similar planes - politically, so it was easy for me to read because it reaffirmed my own opinions.  However, I don't know that his book 'reached across the aisle', if you will.  In the same sense that I'd probably wince at Ann Coulter's books, I'm sure this book would have that same eye-rolling effect on those who don't share his beliefs.

Second - I can't help but wonder - what is the controlling purpose of his book?  Brief overview - the subject of this book is Richard going after urban legends and disproving them.   He seems to opt to pull the rug out from under the conspiracy theorists.  For some of the topics he covers - the more trivial, such as evian water - or the more non-credible in the first place, such as the Virgin Mary in the grilled cheese, can easily be 'debunked' in a matter of under ten pages.   However, some of the more serious topics, such as 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina would realistically require almost entire in-depth books in and of themselves to debunk - he touched on a lot of important, interesting points - but it was a brief synopsis of what would be required to really lay the issue to rest.  

Also, he often used improbability as an argument - which, although it has a point to it (if 9/11 was an inside job, how many people would have had to have been in on it, and what are they odds they would have ALL kept their mouths shut?!  almost impossible), it is not completely airtight.   Although it was a great read, I don't know if this was meant to be more op ed (think Bill O'Reilly or Keith Olbermann) than objective news - it is definitely the former; whether or not that was the intention is the question in my mind.  

My final issue - I can't help but wonder, is he against conspiracy theorists in general?  Aren't we taught to not take things at face value; to question everything?   At least, we should be...that's  the only way to overcome misinformation.  I kind of feel he takes a moment to mock the cynics and the skeptics of  the world - the cynics are my people.  Go ahead, take a shot at Catholics, women, Polacks, U of Illinois grads, any other group I potentially could be associated with - but please, please, PLEASE don't mock the cynics.

However, despite my criticisms (how could I not have them;  I'm a cynic, I question everything), I would still say I highly recommend the book.  It's a quick read - I finished it in four work days.  I dreaded when the el came to a stop because I had to put it down.   This was my first Roeper book - I will definitely have to further explore his library.

Ad

Ok, I promise I will stop pimping the ads on my page...however, isn't this one hilarious?

Ad

You know, cause you really want to shop for Jaime...literally.

Good Article

So I read this article in Glamour magazine that I found interesting.  

Hypnosis

Now, I personally am NOT into new age philosophy in the least of ways, however, I found this article to be an interesting, concise argument for hypnotism.  The thing I found most appealing was the fact that, if you read the article in the physical issue of Glamour, you will see pulled quotes of whom it worked for and whom it didn't - it doesn't try to be the have all, be all fix for everyone; it simply makes the argument that it's worth consideration for some people.   This makes it seem like less of a snake-oil sales attempt and more of a real, potential means of helping people.

I know multiple people who swear by hypnotism - from family members to people I work with - some of whom are the last you'd expect to swear by it (such as a fifty-something cynical, practical man who insists he could not have quit smoking without it).  

Also, I found it interesting that those who are dreamers are strong candidates - I am DEFINITELY a daydreamer (to the point that it often got me in trouble in school growing up).   From the brief description, I think I would be the perfect candidate.  Too bad I don't have any bad habits (ha, ha, ha) - at least none that I actually want to change....

Call Me Perez Hilton!

Something exciting has happened - Jaime's blog is (almost) on the radar!  

I signed up for google ad sense (as I'm sure you've picked up on from five prior posts on the subject matter) - and over the weekend, Jaime's Blog got 131 hits in a span of two days!!!  

Granted, these are not necessarily 'unique' visitors.  So let's be honest - let's throw at least 25 hits to me (I'm a narcissist, I like to admire - and sometimes edit- my work) and a good 25 to my mother.   That's still 81 hits unaccounted for!  Ok, maybe we can boost my mother to 35 - still, 71!!!!!  My blog was visited 71 times!!!

This only inspires me to write more quality posts.  (Much unlike, ahem, this one.)

E-mail Forward

I found this amusing....

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn repeatedly. She screamed and cursed in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup as a result of the short stop. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a rather abrupt tapping on her window. She looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searc hed, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, an officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ' What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.'

"Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."