Ok. Here's what I have to say in response to 'ten ways to get a guy to commit' and Marek's article on 'why you're not married'.
Here's my gripe(s): How come it's ALWAYS women who need to work on getting men to commit? And, how come the question of 'why are you single?' is always directed at women?
I feel like, back 30 years ago, people weren't as monogamous when dating - and it was men who were pursuing women and trying to get them to commit. Now the tables have turned on us. Fellow women - I ponder aloud - WTF? How come we never hear 'how to get a girl to commit'?
Also, how come men are never asked why they're single? I know this has been beaten into the ground, but how come single men are viewed as free and single women are pitied? Men are never embarrassed to be single - they are often proud of it. Case in point - I was talking to Marek earlier. I asked him why he wasn't married. His response: why be tied down with one when you can be free and date many? Oh Marek. The ladies' man.
Why are things this way? Or, I guess, more aptly - what can be done to fix it? Ladies, we need to take back some control here I think.
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5 comments:
You perceive it to be that way because you are a woman. "How come it's ALWAYS women who need to work on getting men to commit?" Well, you are single right? Seems like maybe men do need to work on getting you to commit. It would seem that the commitment work is a two way thing, you are just ignoring the other view. It isn't always women who get the question "why are you single?" Why would heterosexual women hear about how to get a girl to commit? That doesn't make sense.
You make somewhat sexist assumptions about both male and female thought, create a world view based on them, then complain about that world view.
Anon - how interesting. Please put a face to a name.
Interesting point re: heterosexual women would not hear about how to get a woman to commit. However - is such talk out there? I'm asking an honest question, not being my usual sarcastic self. Is there advice in men's magazines (or wherever) about how to get women to commit? Do men wonder about how to make it official with the woman they are seeing?
I do believe men also get the 'why are you single' question - but I feel there's a different tone to it. Which I guess is hard to explain - probably more so that if a man is single, it's because he wants to be; if a woman is, it's because there's something wrong with her. Maybe men feel differently about this. Please share.
Anyhow. Very interesting commentary, anon. Please come back.
I would have to say - it is because women are sluts now and they weren't before. In time past (you know... before the 60s sexual revolution), women didn't 'give it up' as freely as they do now, so men had to actually pursue a woman and commit to her so he could get some good lovin'.
Now that there are so many slutty people running around, why would a man have to commit to a woman to have sex for the rest of his life when he can run down to the local bar and get some tail each night?
It will swing the other way... when mothers start duct taping their daughters' legs together. We shall have to wait and see.
I disagree, the sluts are here to stay!
And I like exclamation points.
I don't think men are in any hurry to "grow up." They feel like they can wait till 35 or 40 to settle down where the majority of women would like to find "the right guy" before that, especially if they want children. I think girls are setting their standards higher too, maybe because they don't need a man to support them, etc. And they should because - hey, they're worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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