Ok, so as my readers know - I have been dating lately.
In order for me to accept a first date with a guy, I have to think the guy seems like he is nice, normal, not psychotic, meets most of my general criteria, and has something in common with me. Kind of like a first interview phone screen.
In order for me to decide if I'm going on a second date with a guy, I usually judge based on how the first date went. If he was polite, I had enough in common to talk to him about and there were no red flags, I'll usually go for a second date. Again, pretty much if he seems 'worth a try'.
Now this is where it gets tricky. How does a girl decided whether or not to go out with a guy a third time? Does she have to be interested in him romantically? Does she have to want to date him? Should she know she's interested? Also, how about the guy - should he be interested in having a relationship with the girl? How interested/invested should both parties be at this point? I imagine the first two dates count as 'giving someone a chance'. Where should one be when one initiates/accepts a third date? How do most of my readers feel when accepting a third date? Does one really like the person? Is one still 'giving someone a chance' or should one be confident of one's interest? Your thoughts?
In order for me to accept a first date with a guy, I have to think the guy seems like he is nice, normal, not psychotic, meets most of my general criteria, and has something in common with me. Kind of like a first interview phone screen.
In order for me to decide if I'm going on a second date with a guy, I usually judge based on how the first date went. If he was polite, I had enough in common to talk to him about and there were no red flags, I'll usually go for a second date. Again, pretty much if he seems 'worth a try'.
Now this is where it gets tricky. How does a girl decided whether or not to go out with a guy a third time? Does she have to be interested in him romantically? Does she have to want to date him? Should she know she's interested? Also, how about the guy - should he be interested in having a relationship with the girl? How interested/invested should both parties be at this point? I imagine the first two dates count as 'giving someone a chance'. Where should one be when one initiates/accepts a third date? How do most of my readers feel when accepting a third date? Does one really like the person? Is one still 'giving someone a chance' or should one be confident of one's interest? Your thoughts?
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5 comments:
I believe that if we (him and I) make it to a third date that starts the "dating phase" which means that I see us heading towards a relationship. If I am not that interested in a man (or as interested as I would like to be) I don't allow it to reach a third date.
Assuming the first date wasn't a blind date or set up through some online dating site, I advise men to only go on a 2nd date if they kissed the girl on the 1st date. Even if everything about her was great, he shouldn't take her out again if he didn't get the kiss.
As for the 3rd date, I think she needs to have shown on the 1st and 2nd dates that she is polite and considerate, and that she has a compatible personality.
I can not spend three dates with someone I don*t really like, but you know how hot and cold I am. oopsy.
Agreed that I can't spend 3 dates with him if I definitely don't like him. But what if I'm not sure yet if I definitely do like him? Am I supposed to know after just 2 dates if the third one is supposed to mean I want go to towards a relationship?? Umm, no.
And you must kiss on the first date? Really?
This is a pretty good perspective from a woman. It is insight into all the thinking that goes on. Yes, no, maybe so. Sometimes though for a guy to not be in the freind zone he needs some kind of signal that he could be seen as more than a freind if a woman is interested. I talk about it on my blog actually.
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