Top 10 Surprising Ways to Get a Guy to Commit

So this morning, on Eric & Kathy, there was a nice spirited discussion on an article by Rori Raye about how to get a guy to commit.  She lists off ten suggestions:

1)  Love him, but don't be his girlfriend
2)  Don't be exclusive until you're engaged
3)  Date more than one man at once
4)  Be able to receive love
5)  Don't try to win him over
6)  Tell him what you want
7)  Tell him how you feel
8)  Be vulnerable
9)  Be in touch with your feelings
10)  Allow him to be who he really is

Ok, I TOTALLY agree with this list.  Moreso the top half of the list (especially 1, 2, and 3).  I kind of feel like people, in general, need a little extra motivation to take action sometimes.  Back in about 30+ years ago, it seems like men proposed after a much shorter period of time because, if they didn't, someone else might and they would lose out on something good.  Nowadays, couples will date exclusively for a long period of time, so a guy can be confident that as long as the girl didn't break up with him, she's committed to him.

I also kind of think it's like the job interview process.  When someone is interviewing for a job that seems really attractive, he or she will actively pursue it and really take action, despite the fact that there might be the existence of unseen cons or potential problems down the road.  However, let's say someone who is in a job for a couple years might not feel the need to do that - a) he already feels comfortable/secure and 2) even someone who is genuinely happy in his job might feel, say, no less uncertain a couple years in (he is just more aware of both the good and the bad).  That and I personally feel in life, everything always has a little bit of a leap of faith - no one will every REALLY be sure, he or she will just have to make a decision and take a risk.

Anyhow - your thoughts?  Agree?  Disagree?  Think long-term committed dating is the way to go?  Other techniques for getting a man to commit?

Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

So, the other day, I was talking to a friend of who started dating someone a couple weeks ago. I asked her if they were officially dating (or, I suppose, dating exclusively, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever you want to call it). She said she didn't want to bring it up to him because she'd heard that men get antsy/freaked out by labels.

Also, on the same note, the other day at work, a male coworker was passing on advice to another younger male coworker. One of the tidbits he had to offer is, if he starts dating a girl and she brings up 'what are we?' - brush it off with 'we don't need to label things'.

Hmm. I think you may be able to guess my thoughts on this one.

Now, for me, I like labels. Shocking, I know. If I am going to be romantically involved with a guy, I would like to establish that we are 'boyfriend/girlfriend'. Now, I don't necessarily know the protocol on this one (or is there even a protocol on this one?) - does one say 'are we boyfriend/girlfriend?' or 'what are we?'. I've been in four 'relationships' (if you will) - I think in each of them, things went down differently. And honestly, I don't know what the norm is; nor, do I think, does anyone else.

I guess, for me, I the thing that I find a bit off-putting about the above suggested male way of thinking is a) I believe it's designated to leave room to, perhaps, leave one's options open for a random hookup or 'someone better', if you will (which is fine if that's a mutually shared feeling in the relationship), or b) perhaps it's more convenient to not have to establish an actual relationship with someone so that, in the instance one decides things aren't going to ultimately work out, he or she can just kind of 'disappear' or ease out of the situation without the actual awkward breakup conversation (who likes those?). Or, option c) this perhaps gives one the freedom from certain relationship obligations - no airport pickups, family parties, moving assistance, etc. I suppose this freedom can benefit both parties in the 'non-relationship'.

Anyhow. Again, as I said, I like labels. Sure, I definitely want to take my time in getting to know a person before making some sort of commitment to him (and by that, I mean even as little a commitment as agreeing to a relationship), however, I like the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label. And if some say this scares guys off - well, a guy who scares easily is a turnoff for me. What is the protocol these days? Is there a 'relationship talk' of some kind? Are there a lot of couples in 'undefined' relationships, if you will? Is this the same principal of 'a rose by any other name' - are these 'relationships' just as serious as 'defined relationships'? Does the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' talk scare all men?

Your thoughts?