Yet Another Greg Tidbit

Don't be flattered that he misses you.  He  should miss you.  You're deeply missable.  However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you.  Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.  

A Good Greg-ism.

One of my good friends sent me an excerpt from a great book - He's Just Not That Into You:

I was seeing a guy for about a month.  He broke up with me, saying that he didn't feel like it could be something serious.  I understood and took it well.  He wanted to know if we could still hang out as friends.  I said sure.  Now we get together and go out and then come back to his place and have sex, just like we did before.  (But now, we're "broken up.")  He's really, really cute and I love having sex with him.  I also think he must like me if he can't stop being around me.  And I think it's kinda cool -- all pressure's off and we're having a great time together.  I've decided that I think it's fine and I'm not going to call his attention for the fact that we're actually dating.  Except for the fact that we broke up.

This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings.  After all, you're not going out anymore.  It's genius!  It's diabolical!  He should be writing a book!  In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to.  And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well.  For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you."  Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: they don't break up with you.  This guy is seriously not into you, it's crazy.  The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is how fast you get rid of him.


I think the author - Greg Behrendt - has a great point.  I think, in modern relationships, too many people (not necessarily guys) get all the benefits without the responsibilities.  I remember hearing someone say 'having sex with an ex is like getting fired from a job and going back to work for free'.  Just keep that in mind, ladies.  Don't work for free.  

He's Just Not That Into You

So I just saw the movie "He's Just Not That Into You". Despite it's flaws (such as the blatant product placement of Crest whitestrips), I loved it because of its random hilarious moments.

However, I love the book too - and I know some friends who have great criticisms of the book for it's keen ability to point out the blatantly obvious. For example, here are some of the chapters from this book:

--He's just not that into you if he's not calling you
--He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else
--He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you
--He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk
--He's just not that into you if he's married (or other insane variations)
--He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you

Now, don't get me wrong, yes, this all makes a LOT of sense. However, I do know PLENTY of women who have held out hope and continued to pursue a man who fell into one or more of the above categories (I, of course, always protect the guilty). Some would probably say something about women wanting the 'bad boy' or wanting something they can't have. I don't think that it's that necessarily. And I don't think it's that women don't realize the above men aren't that into them. It's that I think they think these men can, and will, become into them and become decent, wonderful boyfriends/husbands with a little helpful nudging.... Why do women think this? I, personally, don't, so I don't really know.

Anywho, whenever I find myself on the receiving end of something such as a text message from a male counterpart - I ask myself "What Would Greg Say". And I can only encourage others to do the same. :-)

Summoned to Duty....

So recently, I got a message from a good friend saying something to the extent of "I broke up with (longtime boyfriend).  If I possibly consider getting back together with him, please come knock some sense into me".

Now, I've been summoned to the duty of "break-up buddy" many many MANY times in my life.  I have always given the job 100% dedication.  I have never faltered on insisting that said friend should NOT get back together or casually hook up with said ex (and I have always believed so 100% in my heart).  I have never failed to remind the friend not only of small pet peeves but also of large scale character and relationship flaws that most likely have not and will not change.   I have been tough as nails. 

However, all too often, said friend has ended up at least backsliding at one point.  Said friend has become all hopeful that said ex is the most wonderful person in the world (believe me, NONE of my friends' exes came even close).   In fact, often, said friend LIES to me about her backslide.

I want to be a good breakup buddy.  And I have surely tried my hardest.  Have I failed?  (I feel like I have, each and every time.)   What can be done to keep the friend from going back to and hooking up with the jerk?  Has anyone out there been a truly successful break-up buddy?  Can one be a successful break-up buddy?  How?  

I am currently on duty and I know I will be summoned to duty again soon.  I want to do a good job.  Help.