Another Pet Peeve

Tapas Restaurants.  The WHOLE concept of them.  

Maybe it's not that they exist.  Maybe it's that I know too many people who like them and want to go to them.  In fact, I think there's a conspiracy amongst men - EVERY man I've been asked out by over the past three years has suggested "tapas".  

Yes, it's true, I DON'T like sharing food.  (Insert comment about only children here.)  Actually, it's not that I don't like sharing food - it's more that when I go out to eat, I want to pick the specific meal that I want and enjoy THAT meal (not a teeny tiny part of it).  

At tapas, you kind of have to think of what everyone wants to eat, not just yourself.  I have obscure tastes (I like spicy food, which not everyone enjoys).  Also, I like to doctor my food.   At tapas restaurants, it seems like you have to pick something generic as opposed to what you really want so it's something everyone likes.  I kind of feel like this is like when one person wants the red couch and the other wants the blue couch, so they compromise with the green couch and no one is happy.  Also, if there's something really good, you can only take a little bit of it.  

I guess I don't understand everyone else's love of these style restaurants.  I guess I don't really like 'family style' restaurants, in general.  I just want to pick what I want and have that.   Am I alone in this?

Only Children

So, there was an article in, ahem, the other newspaper this past weekend about successful only children.  Although it was an interesting article, there was something funny to me about the premise - as if there is something noteworthy about an only child succeeding.  

Now, although I half-jokingly write this post - there is a definite widely accepted negative stereotype about only children that is almost starting to irritate me.  

A woman I work with was describing another coworker with a difficult personality - "She's a total only child," she said.  Funny because the woman she was describing is in her 30s with children of her own.   I once had a college acquaintance who remarked to me that she'd "never think I was an only child" - she meant it as a compliment.  (I DIDN'T say thank you - that probably made her re-think the statement.)

I have many times overheard the negative statements about only children - sometimes from individuals with no idea of my only-ness, other times from close friends (maybe I should rethink considering them that).    

I've overheard notions such as 'I want either two or three, but I'd rather not have any than have an only'.  I've often heard 'I'd never date an only child'.  I once had someone sincerely ask me that, since I don't have a sibling, would I understand that someone would be upset if his or her sibling were to die?  

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.

Now, let me be the first to say - I agree that there are certain personality traits associated with birth order standing.  Perhaps the oldest child is used to taking charge, the youngest is the spoiled baby, and the middle child is the quiet appeaser to his or her bossy older and bratty younger siblings.  

However, I've never heard 'typical middle' or 'typical oldest child'.  I've maybe heard 'typical youngest child' a handful of times.   "Typical only child" is definitely much more pervasive.

Although, as I said earlier, there are typical personality traits associated with certain birth orders - but it's not a foolproof guarantee that someone in a certain position will most definitely have a certain trait - or that someone with a certain trait will most definitely sit in a certain position in his or her family.

I guess what I find most irritating and idiotic - there's a notion that only children are spoiled brats who ALWAYS must have their way and can never fully assimilate into society for this reason.  First off, I know plenty of "brats" who are oldest, youngest, and even middle children. 

However, more realistically - let's say, for arguments' sake, that even if all only childrens' parents are completely permissive of their 'diva-like' behavior - would their peers, teachers, friends, bosses, significant others, and coworkers be as accepting of it?  It's not as though parents are the only people who have an influence on our lives and the kind of people we become.  It's not as though our personality traits don't continue to evolve as we grow into new roles in our lives.

On that note - let's say there's an only child with an unfavorable characteristic - is it really their "only childness" that caused this trait?  Maybe it's the result of a failed friendship or romantic relationship - or something else entirely.  

The notion that only children might almost be fundamentally different as people from their sibling-ed counterparts is, in my book, utterly ridiculous.  Thoughts?