Getting Political.

Eric:  learn more about sarah palin every day

she ran a 3:59 marathon in 2005

 me:  do you like her better now?

 Eric:  no

but i think it's a good incentive for people i know that run slower than that to pick up the pace

Sarah Palin Lookalike Contest

So, long story short - there's an upcoming Sarah Palin lookalike contest.  See here.

Anyhow - I was super excited and ready to enter (despite the fact that proceeds are going to the teabaggers and all).

Anyhow - huge disappointment.  I did some more research.  This is being hosted at the Admiral strip club.  It looks as though the Palin lookalike contest will be, uh, a normal night at the venue.  In other words - no one would notice the nice detailing of my flag pin.

Sigh.   I don't think I can bring myself to do it.  There must be another outlet for my Sarah Palin-esque talent.

Please send any ideas of said outlet my way.

Oh Sarah.

You're breaking my heart. Which newspaper do you read? All of 'em! Back in high school, my ability to BS questions was much better than this. Stop disappointing me Sarah.

An Important Holiday is Coming....

...quite possibly my favorite holiday, well, after Christmas. And my birthday. And April Fools' Day. And Black Wednesday. Anyhow.

Halloween. I LOVE dressing up for Halloween. It's the best. I'm like an overgrown kid. Whatever.

Two years ago, I was Pam from NBC's the office. Last year, I was Sarah Palin. Both were huge hits, let me tell you. This year, I can't be off my A-Game. I need another grand slam.

I am now taking suggestions. I have two ideas, but I don't think either of them will be the success that the previous two were.

Your input is greatly appreciated.

Shoutout!!

Brian. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the new CD!

A little something to keep you interested in said blog....

Two Women I Don't Find Attractive

So, I got this month's issue of Cosmo - it has Maxim's 'sexiest woman' (or something like that) Megan Fox as the feature interview of the issue. I'm sorry; I really just don't see it with her. I also don't see it with the one she is often compared with - Angelina. I know a lot of men find these women to be 'hot'. Now, I know what you're going to say - something about bitter jealousy or something like that. Alas, no - there are plenty of actresses that I will admit are drop-dead gorgeous. Since I figured you'd bring this up - I came up with a list of women I feel should have higher billing than these two on the looks roster (at least in my book). Drumroll please....



Penelope Cruz

Keira Knightley

Natalie Portman

Keri Russell, who will forever be 'Felicity' in my book

Reese Witherspoon

Your thoughts? Anyone in agreement with me about the first two? A man's opinion? Does anyone else NOT find Angelina Jolie attractive? What about this one:

It's Been Too Long Since I Last Spoke On Sarah Palin....

Sarah Palin is a girl after my own heart. She's got big dreams. And dangly dog earrings.

Celebrity Lookalikes

Occasionally, people will ask me what celebrity I look like. The only celebrity I've ever been consistently compared to is Calista Flockhart (of Ally McBeal/Brothers & Sisters fame). I got this more in high school - I haven't heard it recently.



For Halloween, one year I made myself look like Pam from The Office (Jenna Fischer); this past year, Sarah Palin. I have been told (once) that I look like Pam (aside from the day I dressed like her).




A good friend and blog reader once said she thinks I look like Cameron Diaz - but again, I've only heard this from one source.



Once, five minutes before the end of a date, I was told I look like Angelina Jolie. I realize it was meant as a compliment, but I don't like her. I could write a whole entry based on my feelings toward her. Also, based on the timing of said compliment, I highly, highly, highly question the sincerity of it. That, and I really don't particularly see it.



There you have it?

Bristol Palin Breaks it Down for Us....

Ok - so I'm not making fun of her for being a teen Mom. And I'm not making fun of her for her personal beliefs. And I'm not making fun of her for being raised in a small town/different lifestyle and background/yada yada for anything that might have led to her having less information/awareness/etc.

However.

In a recent interview with new young mother Briston Palin, daughter of the one and only Sarah Palin, she explains her experience with teen pregnancy and what can be done to prevent it. Bristol explains:

"If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody."

(Editor's sidenote: The Associated Press punctuated this with periods, but I personally believe it should have been exclamation marks.)

Anyhow.

Really? So the real problem here, Bristol thinks, is that people don't fully understand the process of where babies come from? Some people aren't completely sure of the cause/effect relationship? There's some speculation out there, we might have strong lead, but some people think maybe it hasn't been 100% confirmed? Once we get the word out to teens, they will stop copulating once and for all!!?! Maybe we need like a 'birds and the bees' class available in junior high or high school, perhaps, or some local facilities to provide information on how teens can plan whether or not they become parents. Once we implement these programs, there won't be a non-virgin in sight on a college campus!

Anyhow.

Her father, Todd Palin, goes on to explain that he had never spoken to his daughter about sex. "She had enough information out there," he explains. Yes, she was more knowledgable about it than even he realized.

Of course, mother Sarah earlier commented that a good solution to the teen pregnancy crisis is making abstinence more available.

I will be sincerely, truly sad the day this family completely and totally exits the public eye.

Filene's Basement Wedding Dress Sale

So, today, the Chicago Sun-Times had one of its book sales. It looked a little like this....



Despite the pushing and shoving, I was able to get some good finds. For instance:



It will help give me material for my next Tina Fey impersonation. I couldn't help but think some of my coworkers were looking at me and possibly judging me, for it gave the appearance that I'm a 'Sarah' fan. This is why I sometimes hate buying books at public places, like bookstores. Unless it's a typical best-seller, someone is judging your choice and making assumptions about your personality. I always say the book I'm looking at is a gift for someone, even if it isn't. I, at first, loved amazon for the reason of buying books in private, UNTIL they started recommending books to me that 'I might like based on other books I've viewed'. Ugh. Anyhow. The goodness of a booksale can't be passed up for this reason alone. I got some other good shameful products while I was there, including....



In short - how to find your soulmate using THE SECRET....I look forward to panning it in a review shortly....

Also,



California Dreams Seasons 1 & 2. For nostalgia purposes alone...don't judge.

Thanks A Lot, Rod!

There's no more pointing fingers at the state of Alaska for the foolishness and stupidity of their governor. As a resident of Illinois, I must now eat my words for all the Palin jokes. Terribly sorry, Sarah! I'll take a bridge to nowhere any day! It only makes sense that, like Bush, we elected and then re-elected this guy. In the words of good old B-Rod himself "What were we thinking?" And seriously, Rod, what are you thinking, dragging the good Illinois name through the mud!?!? (Well, Drew Peterson, Jeremiah Wright, George Ryan and the driver's license scandal, and 3 other corrupt governors aside....)

Endurance

I find one of the most difficult things about blogging to be the challenge of consistently posting decent, quality material.  Actually, scratch that - how about just consistently posting?  That's a challenge in and of itself.  

I know my fellow blogging buddies feel me on this - all of the five blogs on my page have recently had a lull in posts.  A blog is a responsibility.  There are plenty of days when it's really easy to be a blogger (read:  any time Sarah Palin opened her mouth) - probably like it's easy to be a parent when your baby is all cute and, you know, sleeping.  However, it's enduring the hard times that, sometimes, are what's really important.  And this is a blogging lull, but I know I will come out on top.  

Quote

Sarah Palin, just now, on Greta Van Susteren's 'On the Record':

"Sure, I'm a feminist...whatever that means."

She later goes on to talk about the big ticket issue, abortion.

"Sure, we'd all like to see fewer abortions, and make more preventative measures available, uh...uh...."

Interesting comment Sarah.   Someone correct me if I'm wrong - Gov. Palin is for abstinence only education, right?  So what would those 'preventative measures' she's talking about be?  Abstinence?  Isn't that already 'available'? 

Misc. Political Cartoons

I'll miss you, Sarah.

And, while we're at it, let's make good use of the lame duck.

Mr. President

So he won!?!?

Congratulations Barack Obama!  He sure ran a great campaign.

I must say, I was touched by hearing older African Americans talk about struggles they and their parents and grandparents experienced in life and how they never thought they'd see this day and what it means to them.  

Now, the campaign is over.  It's time to stop talking about change and actually do it.  I look forward to not hearing the word change, in fact.  And the expectations are VERY VERY HIGH, president-elect, so things will surely be interesting.  I truly, sincerely hope Barack Obama does a good job, especially when it comes to improving our economy and healthcare system.

I truly also look forward the end of attack ads, the words 'hope' and 'change', and mostly, Keith Olbermann's hourlong nightly love song.  

(My loyal readers probably truly look forward to me writing about new topics.)

I'll miss you, Sarah Palin.  

Get Out to Vote?

Apparently Starbucks is giving out free coffee to everyone who votes.  Woohoo - I am not saying no to free coffee!!

(Brief aside:  Again, I do not support this huge 'everyone must vote!!!' campaign because I do believe the ignoramus remain ignorant but are now playing a significant role in the political process.)

Who knows what'll happen when I go into that voting booth tomorrow - I'll keep you posted for sure!

My Fellow Americans....

So, as you know, this past Halloween I went with quite possibly my scariest costume to date. 

 

So, the strangest thing ever.   While I was out for Halloween, a couple strangers took a picture with me because they found my costume to be funny.  

So today, I get an e-mail notification that a girl I went to college with tagged photos of me on facebook.  I haven't seen this girl in probably over a year and a half, so I assumed she must have been uploading some really old photos.  

But when I checked - alas, no!  It was pictures from Halloween!!  Apparently some of the guys who took pictures with me are friends of hers and had uploaded the photos and she recognized me in them!  Since they didn't know me personally, they tagged me as "the GOP VP candidate". 

Thanks Alice Moy for the photo tagging and thanks Neil Ackerman for saying I was second only to Tina Fey - if you have any debate questions for me, I'd be more than happy to answer.  I can see Russia from my house!

If John McCain wins on Tuesday

...we, the people of the United States, both democrats and republicans alike, can all unite under one notion...

...that it is very, very, VERY important that John McCain does not die while in office. 

Getting Out All of the Political Posts Before Election Day

So, if, on Tuesday, I vote for one of the two major party candidates (it's not looking very promising right now), I would choose, of those two utterly awful tickets, Obama/Biden. And I wouldn't be voting FOR Obama, I'd be voting AGAINST McCain/Palin. A vote is a vote is a vote - no mater how enthusiastic or unenthusiastic - it counts for the same amount.

I don't really know why Obama bothers me so much. In the entire past two years of this campaign, I have not been able to figure this out. (Sorry to 90% of my blog readers/Obama fanatics.) I think it's the fact that so many people keep trying to tell me that "just you wait Jaime - he's going to CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!"

Not everyone who has the ability to inspire have actually been able to effect a positive change. Obama's been inspiring, etc., for the past year and a half - and has this movement he's evoked actually accomplished something? (Don't tell me 'it got young people interested in politics' - he's mainly gotten them to CAMPAIGN FOR HIM, as opposed to improving anything - I suppose it's the rallying of the lemmings, not where they're actually lead, that matters to some.)

The other day I read a letter to the editor in my favorite newspaper. I don't remember the exact words, but it was something to the extent to 'Illinois is so messed up - our corrupt politicians, broken economy, etc. We need Obama! Oh wait, we already have him....' I couldn't have summed up my feelings better myself.

Again, to my loyal readers/Obamaists - I'm sorry. But man, I had to say it!

Help!!

Where might I get a McCain/Palin pin?  Or a flag pin?  I tried the grocery store and Walgreens with no luck.   Where do people get political things like this?  I need to buy it tomorrow - I dropped the ball on this one (so ordering online is not an option...).