The Silent Treatment, Part 2

So earlier today in cosmo (my bible, as Jay Leno would say), I read an article about what to do when one's man gives 'the silent treatment'.

This raised quite a few questions for me.  Do men give the silent treatment?  I just thought they got into bad moods on occasions.  I didn't think they went out of their way to be 'SO not talking to you'.  I thought that was primarily a woman's domain.  Anyhow.

This article went on to address 'the best ways to react to the silent treatment'.  This leads to the ultimate question - what is the best way to handle receiving 'the silent treatment'?  Whenever someone is giving it to me, I have a tendency to completely ignore it because I think it's childish (one should address the problem directly if something is upsetting him/her).  

However, I can think of a time in somewhat recent history when I gave someone the silent treatment (yes, I hear and see the extreme hypocrisy) and it worked out getting the end result I was looking for.  I can also think of a time quite a few years ago when someone I cared about was clearly upset with something to do with me, and, for the reasons stated earlier, I chose to ignore it; and now, said person and I are no longer speaking.

What are your thoughts?  Is the silent treatment effective?  Is it a good means of handling a situation?  Do you use it?  What is the best way to react to the silent treatment?  

Really Slow News Day.

So, according to Cosmopolitan magazine, white nailpolish is the new thing for Spring/Summer.  It's supposedly popular amongst the goth peeps (as opposed to black nails we knew a couple years ago).

Your thoughts?

I personally really don't see anything too goth or rebellious about it.  I may take it for a test drive soon.  You?

For Historians Out There....

Cosmo just informed me it's been eleven (!!!) years since Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time" was released.

Not sure about you, but I'm sure feeling my age right now.

Asking a Man Out....

So Chelsea Handler says (on the subject of asking a man out before he asks you):

Never ask out a guy before he asks you.  I don't care what sore of women's movement feminist crap you hear: it's a big mistake.  men are, for the most part, stupid.  If they have been told their whole lives that it is their place to ask out a woman and you upset that rule and confuse them, their heads will explode.
On top of  that, if they haven't asked you out yet, they're probably not interested.  In that case, they would only say yes if you ask them because they (a) feel sorry for you or (b) assume that you will pay.  In either scenario, you lose.

Now, when I was younger, I may have held a different viewpoint (see previous posts about not wanting to be picked by a man, but rather, to do the picking).

However.   I kind of think one non-negotiable is that a guy must really like me, or at least, be interested enough to ask me out.  If he can't ask me out, he either (a) isn't all that into me, or (b) lacks the balls to ask me out.  As Chelsea said - either way, it's a loss.

Your thoughts?  Should women ask out men?  Should we remain old-fashioned on this one?  Do you other girls out there ask men out?  Do you men enjoy getting asked out by women?  Or, is this question in and of itself too old fashioned?  Should it be 'should women wink/poke/nudge/whatever form of online dating communication effort first'?

More Goodies From Cosmo

So I was reading Cosmo this morning on the train in to work - there was a brief snippet on how three men's magazines came out with a list of 100 hot women, and it then went on to feature the 29 women who hit all three lists.

I think my readers know what is coming at this point....

Heidi Klum (I can't believe I forgot her on earlier lists!)

Maria Menounos

Emma Watson (Editor's sidenote:  WHO?)

Where might I be able to find a list of 100 men?  Maxim?  Men's Health?

Best of Chicago

So, once in a while I like to give some of my favorite small businesses in Chicago a shoutout. Today - Gus's Shoe Repair on Clark in Lincoln Park.

This man is a shoe doctor. Or perhaps a shoe artist. Either way.

Anyhow. He has a very small shop and is relatively inexpensive (I really don't know the market for shoe repair). However, what I do know is that it's considerably cheaper ($10) to get a pair of shoes re-heeled than it is to get a brand new pair of black pumps. I don't believe this guy advertises or even has his own website, but, per his yelp page, he seems to do ok on word of mouth.

Anyway - this is one of the best little shops of Chicago. Many women's magazines (such as Cosmo), claim that once a shoe's heel's spike is exposed and it looks like the shoe above, it is unsalvageable. Gus will tell you otherwise. (Cue for a friend of mine to comment that Cosmo can't be trusted.)

Please take very careful note of the above shoe's appearance because an after picture will, indeed, be posted.

Breaking Up is Hard to do....

So I was reading Cosmo (yep, again) - the guy confession page. One guy wrote in - here's a brief synopsis of his story:

He met a girl, they went out a couple times, he realized he wasn't into her. He stopped calling/texting, however, she continued to call/text him and he couldn't seem to shake her (editor's sidenote: I, personally, am disappointed he didn't mention whether or not he'd slept with her - I feel it was an important detail). He decided to create an email account, emailed this girl pretending to be his own mother, and told her (as his 'mother') that her son had had a mental breakdown and had been institutionalized, therefore, he couldn't see her any more.

(Second editor's sidenote: I wonder if he realizes this really isn't, in all actuality, all that far from the truth.)

Ok - first - just to clarify - I personally have not been in a relationship recently, nor have I been broken up with recently. In fact, not in years. I say this so no one thinks I'm some bitter crazy angry girl who is pissed off at her recent ex-boyfriend or something that implies there is such an undertone to this post.

Second. Seriously dude? Couldn't you have, uh, just told her the truth (or a gentle reasonable facsimile)? 'I realized I'm still not over my ex....I am just not ready for a relationship right now....I don't think we want the same things' yada? In addition to this, I have known quite a few various guys who've used some bizarre breakup techniques - such as disappearing, or purposely intentionally pissing the girl off so she will break up with him. What is with guys fearing girls will go CRAZY if they tell them honestly, respectfully that they just don't think things are going to work out?

I know a lot of guys will interject that girls they've had past experiences with did go crazy, so they've taken to erring on the side of caution. However, I think the anger really just comes not from the rejection necessarily but in the way that it's handled. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, from the best SATC episode ever:

"Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. We just want an ending to a relationship that is thoughtful and decent and honors what we had together. So my point, Billy, is this. There is a good way to break-up with someone and it doesn't include a post-it!"

Your thoughts? Do all men have issues in breaking up with women? Do women have similar issues when breaking up with men? Is there any good way to break up with a person? Anyone have any major horror stories out there? In the minds of men, do all women have the potential to get crazy when they're being broken up with?

Spelling and Grammar Watch....

Continuing on a theme of 'things people don't give a shit about'....

On page 76 of this month's cosmo, the word 'weirdly', is, ahem, 'wierdly' (SIC) spelled....

Wow.

I suppose this is one of the main problems of the written (or should I say 'printed') word....

Two Women I Don't Find Attractive

So, I got this month's issue of Cosmo - it has Maxim's 'sexiest woman' (or something like that) Megan Fox as the feature interview of the issue. I'm sorry; I really just don't see it with her. I also don't see it with the one she is often compared with - Angelina. I know a lot of men find these women to be 'hot'. Now, I know what you're going to say - something about bitter jealousy or something like that. Alas, no - there are plenty of actresses that I will admit are drop-dead gorgeous. Since I figured you'd bring this up - I came up with a list of women I feel should have higher billing than these two on the looks roster (at least in my book). Drumroll please....



Penelope Cruz

Keira Knightley

Natalie Portman

Keri Russell, who will forever be 'Felicity' in my book

Reese Witherspoon

Your thoughts? Anyone in agreement with me about the first two? A man's opinion? Does anyone else NOT find Angelina Jolie attractive? What about this one:

The One?

So now, this morning on the el, I was reading Cosmo (as usual) and there's an article about soulmates (and, kind of, how it's dangerous to believe in them because we pass up good people and just set ourselves up for disappointment).

Do my readers believe in soulmates? I'm a cynic, however, I am torn on this one. I actually kind of do believe in soulmates - however, I think some people will mistakenly think someone is his or her soulmate, get hung up on the person, and then, as cosmo illustrates - miss out on other great people. I can definitely see this - I definitely think it's important to eventually move past someone if it's clear it's either a) not going to work out or b) not happening in the first place. A part of me wants to think (like most of my friends think) that there are lots of people for lots of people, and soulmates are just a figment of one's imagination. (Editor's sidenote - and not to annoy Piper - but it just came to mind that my cynical sarcastic counterpart Chandler Bing also doesn't believe in soulmates. Had to say it.)

Anyhow. There's also another school of thought that says we get two great loves - I'm not sure my feelings on this idea either, although it is quite realistic - maybe there's one for our younger selves (a 'first love', if you will) and then one for our mature adult self - the person we ultimately become.

A tiny tiny part of me does believe there are things not in our control and that sometimes, for whatever reason, some things are just meant to be (or not meant to be), and that maybe some of us do have someone we are somehow destined to end up with. However, I guess I'm not sure everyone has a soulmate. And I definitely, definitely think a lot of people I know have wrongly thought someone was their soulmate (and probably ended up with a lot of wasted time and energy on that person/missed out on other opportunities, etc.). Hmm.

What do you all think? Please, enlighten me.

We're on the Same Page....

So I was reading this month's Cosmopolitan magazine, and it had a feature about what's in/out for summer. In the 'out' list - distinctly - the 'buzzwords' recessionista and staycation! Yes! Cosmo and I are on the same page! In the 'in' column - resetting (?). It's apparently the new term of optimism for starting from scratch, as in, a do-over. I am not sure how I feel about this word, but I like the meaning behind it.

Now, while we're at it - the term 'buzzword'....

Jaime's Word of the Day

Tchotchke

tchotchke \CHOCH-kuh\, noun:A trinket; a knickknack.

I have heard and used this word many times. However, I have always spelled it 'chachkie'. I had NO idea of this spelling. This is a spelling bee winner, ladies and gents. Despite being a blogger, I don't often get excited about words - in fact, I don't really EVER get excited about words. However, today has been an exception to the rule! I am going to start using this word ALL THE TIME!

(How did I find out about this correct spelling, you ask? Cosmopolitan magazine, baby! And you thought they were only good for new sex positions....)

Timeline?

So I was just reading in Cosmo (I know, AGAIN) that, if you are a woman in your twenties, it is now finally acceptable to not have a five year plan.  

Well, PHEW.  Thank goodness, cause I surely didn't have one.   I swear, I had no idea we even had this assignment!  (How many times have I said THAT in my life?!?!)

Anyhow - I am curious - does anyone out there have a five year plan?  Goals are good, but something about this seems strange.  Where does everyone see herself in the next couple five years?  Does anyone have an answer that DOESN'T involve the statements 'getting married and having kids' or 'getting my dream job'?  

Your thoughts?  Should I acquire a five year plan?  

World Class Trash

So, over the past couple days, I've been reading Glamour and Cosmo.  Something interesting I've come to discover...the following are books that actually exist:

(Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be)

(Additional Sidenote:  Your thoughts on this matter???)

(Shacking Up:  The Smart Girls' Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned)

(Dating Makes You Want to Die)

Has anyone read any of these?  Can anyone provide a review?