They Don't Know Me as Well as They/I Thought...

E-Mail Subject Line:  Marriages Break Down Because of Incompatible Personalities

Body:

If you and your marital partner are having trouble, come in and get your Personality and IQ checked as this may be the reason for your disputes.

Call to set up an appointment.

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I am not married.  I am not engaged.  I am not close to it either.  And I am absolutely fine with it.  :-)   In fact, this past Christmas, my mom declared she plans on "spoiling me every Christmas, until I get married".  So let's be honest, the odds that I'll walk down the aisle any time soon are getting slimmer by the second.  

You're going to have to do a little bit better than that, Chicago Dianetics Society.