Ok, so I know I've discussed in this blog (multiple times) places a person can meet someone (for dating purposes). I think it's been established that the main ways to meet people are 1) through a friend, 2) at a bar, 3) at work, or 4) online.
However, many people have qualms with any/all of the above.
Now, it seems to me that, in theory, especially in a big city like Chicago, there should be plenty of other places to meet people. We SEE tons of new people every single day of our lives. There's nothing, in theory, abnormal about approaching a stranger and trying to strike up a conversation at a bar. So it seems as though one could, also in theory, approach a stranger on the train, in a bookstore, at a coffeeshop, on the jogging path, etc.
However - my MAIN question: do normal people ever really do that? Has anyone met his/her significant other, or someone who was a legitimate romantic partner at some point in such a way? It seems all well and good on paper, but does that ever really happen? It seems awkward - it's hard enough to start a conversation with a stranger, and if you think about it - the turnaround time of getting a phone number/date/some promise of a possibility of speaking to the person ever again has got to be pretty darn quick, if it's, say, somewhere like 'in line at the coffee shop'.
Anyhow. I feel like, in movies, people can easily fall in love in line at the grocery store, but does that EVER really happen in real life? Has anyone ever asked anyone out/been asked out this way? Does anyone know anyone who has had a real relationship start this way? Do people actually do this?
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Oh, and to answer your question, which I posted in Part 2, yes I do know people who have met 1. at work 2. randomly/at a bar 3. online and 4. through a friend.
1. at work-my friend Laura met her fiance there. I know of 2 couples that are married that work at our school/district and one couple that is dating and who met each other at our school
2. At a bar-friend from high school, parents of a friend, my mom's best friend from college
Randomly-my parents, my grandparents
At a party-my brother and his wife
3.Online-myself, my old roommate's brother and his wife, my old roommate
4. through a friend-parents of a friend
5. Church-tons of people, especially from Jim's old church.
Now, the question is, if you discount these methods, how do you expect to meet someone? At some point, you have to take a chance.
I don't, per se, discount these methods. I, too, know some people who have met legitimate people through all of the above. And I am open to meeting someone almost any of these ways. However, I'm just saying, there are criticisms of all these methods. Like - at work can be awkward if things don't work out. Through a friend is difficult - I feel like I already know a lot of people my friends know decently well, and it can be awkward setting up two friends - if one likes the other and it's not reciprocated, etc. Online - it's a hit or a miss, but it's hard to judge a person by his or her online profile accurately. At a bar - I think this is totally legit, only sometimes it's hard to have a conversation in a loud crowded place and sometimes everyone is too drunk. Anyhow. I think all of these options are viable - I just think it's also easy to not have much luck amongst them.
Well, everyone has had bad luck at some point unless they were one of those magical people who met their One and Only on the first try in 8th grade or something. Obviously there are problems with every way of meeting people-it's part of the game! Gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince and all that! I feel your frustration though. It's tough out there.
People are too leery of each other these days for this to work very well. Another thing is that us men have been rejected so many times applying this strategy that we as an organization have all but abandoned it as a viable means to attract potential mates. Our lower level members are the only ones who still resort to this method on a routine basis. A perfect example of this is the guy who asked your friend for your number!! Now that being said after much research I have found that if you are forced to resort to the “random meeting ask out” the most efficient strategy is what I call the “One and Done Method” and it typically goes something like this.
Guy: Hi! I’m Anonymous
Girl: I’m (fill in the blank)
Guy: Wow, I love that name! So what do you do for a living (fill in the blank)?
Girl: I’m a cashier at 7-11
Guy: Oh you’re in sales, excellent!
Girl: What do you do?
Guy: Umm I’m actually an architect with Vandelay Industries
Girl: Oh wow
Guy: So let me just go ahead and ask, would you like for me to continue with all of these formalities of trying to be charming and thinking of clever things to say or can we just go ahead and exchange numbers?
At this point if they say no you say well it was very nice to meet you and walk away. BOOM! Quick, painless, no headaches, no awkward silences, no rambling, minimal time wasted by both parties. Just one question and done. BTW this has to be done smoothly of course and ideally the guy is being upbeat, friendly and somewhat nonchalant about the whole thing. So would any of you gals exchange number with someone employing this strategy?
Disclaimer: This should only be attempted when you are in a situation where you can break away FAST if the answer is no! Do not do this in line at the bank or the grocery store or on the bus etc. because it can get really awkward really fast!!
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