It Starts with a Wink.

So, recently, as most of my readers know - I tried online dating.  My headline was 'If this doesn't work out well, at least it will serve as material for my blog'.

Here we go now.

First off, I did one of the more popular, more well-known sites.  For legal purposes, I will not name said site.  I am sure my very intelligent readers can make assumptions.  Anyhow.

Here are some thoughts:

-I felt like I kept seeing the same people/profiles whenever I ran a search.  I really didn't put too much into the filter.  I said 24-40, never married, no children, within 10 miles of my zip code.  I would think, with the popularity of this website, this would lend lots of options.  Again, I can't give you an exact number on how many profiles came up, but I felt the same ones kept resurfacing.   Maybe it was mind over matter, but others I spoke with have listed a similar complaint.  Also, I know one of my male coworkers is part of the site.  He falls directly into the demographic I set - I find it interesting he has never shown up in my searches. 

-There was a period of time in which I wasn't an actual member, but had a profile, could wink for free, but couldn't actually speak with someone who emailed me.  I imagine this greatly confuses people - for there is no real way to differentiate if you're attempting to contact someone on a free trial or an actual paying member.  It's hard to say if one is being ignored/snubbed/what have you.

-I am not sure what puts one's profile in a more high-traffic area, etc.  However, I believe it in some way correlates with how often a person logs in.  HOWEVER.  Right now, I quit.  I wrote my reason for quitting being that I am not ready for this right now, but maybe again soon.  I am constantly getting wink/email/'he chose you' notifications (which imply my profile is getting a good amount of traffic).  So, my thinking is the people who aren't actual members are in a higher traffic area for the sake of enticing them to join (someone emailed you!!!  join now!!).

-I kept getting interests from men who did not fit my requirements (I realize this is no fault of the site) - however, annoying.  Divorced 50-something dad in Plainfield!  Did you not read my profile and what I am seeking (or, more specifically, NOT seeking?)

-That, and I wonder what is best if there is a non-reciprocated interest.  'No thanks', or a complete and total ignore?  I realize this also a 'dating in general issue' moreso than this website's issue.

-Also (again, not limited to the site) there is the whole issue of if the person you are speaking with is also speaking to multiple people/dating multiple people/still remaining a member of the site whilst hanging out with you.  Sigh.

-Another confusion (and I realize this makes for a 'men' complaint/confusion) is what is protocol with men and dating.  Traditionally, it is the man's job to ask for a date, suggest the date plan, contact for a second, third, etc., date.  Does that keep with this site's protocol?  Most of my male friends who have tried dating sites will state that they are not always comfortable with meeting women/asking them out (and that is their reason for trying said site), so I find it very hard to read men's 'signals' on this.  I feel so much can be inferred from an email/the amount of time between responses/etc. 

Anyhow.  In short, this site, and the concept of dating websites, frustrated me, so I quit.   I do not like the concept, but it's less that I don't like the concept for myself and moreso that I don't like their concept as a part of society (because 'everyone's doing it' - or at least every single person, so no one's making an effort in more traditional ways).  Maybe that just makes me like one of those people boycotting facebook.  I dunno.  Anyhow. 

I'll probably return to the site in a month or so, simply out of boredom.  Update/more complaints to come.