Dumped?

So, as you all know, I online date (yadda).   There was a dude I met on eharm.  He was 30, nice looking, seemed to have a nice family, and had a seemingly successful career.  The communication at the start of things seemed slow, however, he seemed like a generally nice guy (maybe just not as experienced in the 'dating' world.)

Anyhow.  We went on around 4 dates over a period of around five weeks.  As I said, the communication was slow, with, often times, long periods between contact, but he continued to call and initiate suggesting we hang out.  I was cautiously optimistic and perfectly ok with things moving slowly, so I didn't think it was too big of a deal.  At the end of our fourth date, it ended with a kiss on the lips (the extent of our intimacy).

After our fourth date, during the week, there was some brief casual texting about how our weeks were going, etc.  The next week, I knew from something he'd previously mentioned he had something big coming up for work, so I texted him good luck on it.  No response.

Whatever.  As I said, things really hadn't gone far and I wasn't too invested, so I had mentally written it off and moved on pretty quickly.  Over a week later, I see my phone ringing - it was him.

At this point, I don't know what to do (except for the obvious one - let it go to voicemail).  Does he think it's ok to just randomly go missing for periods of time and resurface?  However, it doesn't seem like there's any point to confronting him/starting a fight - it's not like we were actually boyfriend/girlfriend or anything.  I listened to the voicemail.  Here is the cliffnotes version (voicemail was around 4 minutes - long & rambly):

"Hey Jaime, it's Andrew...Sorry I've been MIA the past couple weeks, I've been super busy with work (Editor's sidenote:  Of course.)...thanks for sending me a text last week wishing me good luck, that was really nice of you.  Things went all right.  Yeah, I'm calling cause it's been really nice getting to know you, but I don't think it's going to work out.  I just didn't feel enough of a connection.  I didn't want to just not call again, so, uhh, that's why I'm calling (ES: isn't this apparent? did you really need to say that?)...you're a great girl, I'm sure you'll find someone (ES:  Oh fuck off.).  So yeah, I just wanted to wish you good luck."

Anyhow.  I couldn't help but wonder what the hell this was?!  Was this call really necessary?  I'm voting no.  It left me feeling much more annoyed than the thought of him not calling back again.  Who does this?  Isn't there a protocol for when one needs a breakup conversation?  And wouldn't this situation not qualify?  It could have potentially made sense immediately after our fourth date, but at this point, in my book, it truly didn't.

I ran this by quite a jury.  One of my female friends felt that, with the exception of the line about me being a great girl (hardly know you, dude - certainly wasn't concerned about your opinion of my value), it was respectful.  Some of my other friends felt it was foolish and illogical, but the guy meant well.  One of my male friends thought it was a very douche move (several of my female friends share this opinion as well).  Someone else raised an alternative idea.  As I said, he was not very communicative, and he was one of those who was 'super busy with work', so our dates were often short and ended early.  Someone suggested he was perhaps in a relationship and just one who was 'dabbling on the side'.  Maybe he 'broke up' with me out of fear that I would somehow call or text at the wrong time.

What are your thoughts?  Douche?  Nice guy who meant well?  When is a breakup convo necessary?  When is it borderline inappropriate?

What Should and Shouldn't be said over E-Mail?

The other day, someone I know told a story about one of her good friends getting dumped by her boyfriend via email.  Said couple had been dating for a couple months.

Now, a mere five years ago, this would have been considered horrific form.  (Some might say it still is.)  However, I will venture an educated guess that things like this taking place over email are not that uncommon.

The question of 'is it ok to break up with someone over email' comes up, naturally.  However, aside from just that - I think a lot of serious personal conversations take place in this medium.   It is a nice easy way to address situations that require some level of confrontation with minimal discomfort for both parties involved.

However, something is obviously lost.  There are several problems - we don't see facial reactions/emotions.  People have time to think about and edit their responses - they can even ask others for input.  Also, there isn't an absolute obligation to respond to an email, whereas with a face-to-face conversation (or even a phone conversation), avoiding responding is much more difficult.  And, perhaps the biggest problem of all - there is a 'forward' button.

However, since so much conversing takes place over email, do almost all important confrontations nowadays take place this way?  Have a lot of personal, important, emotional conversations occurred in this medium?  Is this a good thing?  I'm inclined to say no.  It might seem like an easier way for one to say what he or she needs to say that one might not have the nerve to say to someone in person, several things are definitely lost.

Where is the line drawn of what can and cannot take place over e-mail?   Are all awkward conversations surely migrating over to email?  How does one tell someone it's inappropriate to talk about a certain topic via email?  Your thoughts?