Careers

So lately, as my friends and I enter various career paths and begin to climb the proverbial 'corporate ladder', if you will, I am faced with a question - do people choose their careers, or do they just end up on a certain path and continue going that way?

I remember once, early on in my working experience, having a VP of sales comment to me that he still didn't know what he wanted to do when he grew up.

Is this similar to the concept of SATC's taxi theory?  Men marry the woman who is there - people end up in the in the field of work that is 'there'.   How much is truly 'picking'?  I often times think of professional athletes - most of them started their sports when they were too young to decide it for themselves - their parents chose it for them.  Then, as they got good at it, they liked it so they stayed with it.  Do our careers really choose us?

I do believe 'professional blogger' has chosen me.  I just need the money to start rolling in.

Send me to Rehab....

Update.

So as most of my loyal readers have known (but have been too kind to say) - this blog has sucked lately.

I can offer an explanation (it's up to you to decide if it's a good one).   I entered a writing contest.  It took a lot more of my 'word energy' than I expected.

Anyhow.  I had plenty of time to write said story.  Yet somehow, I found myself scrambling to make the deadline up until the final hour for submissions.  It was sweet and reminiscent of college.  Sigh.  Maybe it's good practice for what's to come, if I head back to school.

The writing prompt was to write a personal memoir.   So I did.  Judging based on past winners of said contest, I don't really think I have a chance of winning, because it's not a sensational/traumatic/life-changing enough experience that I chose to write about (no more info about my piece will be discussed).  But that's ok; I wrote the story more for cathartic purposes.  

However, what I had the most trouble with was ending the story.  I feel like these things are always supposed to end on a 'I learned something/I changed for the better'  kind of note.  I wasn't sure what to say here.  Maybe it's that I don't think everything happens for a reason or that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.   I've surely lived a charmed life compared to most, yet if everything happens for a reason, there's a couple instances on which I'm still waiting for an explanation.   That, and I do think that sometimes in life, some experiences wear us down, weaken us, dishearten us, and cause us to put up walls.   So, I had no trouble explaining this experience and how it affected my life, but I'm not sure I gave them the Cinderella ending they were hoping for.  That, and, as a Chicagoan, I probably ended  some sentences in prepositions (see previous sentence) - I have a tendency to unabashedly do that.

That, and another challenge is the fact that, as a friend once put it, sometimes it's the things that we wish we couldn't remember that most shaped our lives.  It's hard to write a memoir when, in doing so, one is intentionally revisiting an unpleasant life experience.

Anyhow.  One thing I can promise - I will now have more time to put into this blog.   For better or for worse.

It Starts with a Wink.

So, recently, as most of my readers know - I tried online dating.  My headline was 'If this doesn't work out well, at least it will serve as material for my blog'.

Here we go now.

First off, I did one of the more popular, more well-known sites.  For legal purposes, I will not name said site.  I am sure my very intelligent readers can make assumptions.  Anyhow.

Here are some thoughts:

-I felt like I kept seeing the same people/profiles whenever I ran a search.  I really didn't put too much into the filter.  I said 24-40, never married, no children, within 10 miles of my zip code.  I would think, with the popularity of this website, this would lend lots of options.  Again, I can't give you an exact number on how many profiles came up, but I felt the same ones kept resurfacing.   Maybe it was mind over matter, but others I spoke with have listed a similar complaint.  Also, I know one of my male coworkers is part of the site.  He falls directly into the demographic I set - I find it interesting he has never shown up in my searches. 

-There was a period of time in which I wasn't an actual member, but had a profile, could wink for free, but couldn't actually speak with someone who emailed me.  I imagine this greatly confuses people - for there is no real way to differentiate if you're attempting to contact someone on a free trial or an actual paying member.  It's hard to say if one is being ignored/snubbed/what have you.

-I am not sure what puts one's profile in a more high-traffic area, etc.  However, I believe it in some way correlates with how often a person logs in.  HOWEVER.  Right now, I quit.  I wrote my reason for quitting being that I am not ready for this right now, but maybe again soon.  I am constantly getting wink/email/'he chose you' notifications (which imply my profile is getting a good amount of traffic).  So, my thinking is the people who aren't actual members are in a higher traffic area for the sake of enticing them to join (someone emailed you!!!  join now!!).

-I kept getting interests from men who did not fit my requirements (I realize this is no fault of the site) - however, annoying.  Divorced 50-something dad in Plainfield!  Did you not read my profile and what I am seeking (or, more specifically, NOT seeking?)

-That, and I wonder what is best if there is a non-reciprocated interest.  'No thanks', or a complete and total ignore?  I realize this also a 'dating in general issue' moreso than this website's issue.

-Also (again, not limited to the site) there is the whole issue of if the person you are speaking with is also speaking to multiple people/dating multiple people/still remaining a member of the site whilst hanging out with you.  Sigh.

-Another confusion (and I realize this makes for a 'men' complaint/confusion) is what is protocol with men and dating.  Traditionally, it is the man's job to ask for a date, suggest the date plan, contact for a second, third, etc., date.  Does that keep with this site's protocol?  Most of my male friends who have tried dating sites will state that they are not always comfortable with meeting women/asking them out (and that is their reason for trying said site), so I find it very hard to read men's 'signals' on this.  I feel so much can be inferred from an email/the amount of time between responses/etc. 

Anyhow.  In short, this site, and the concept of dating websites, frustrated me, so I quit.   I do not like the concept, but it's less that I don't like the concept for myself and moreso that I don't like their concept as a part of society (because 'everyone's doing it' - or at least every single person, so no one's making an effort in more traditional ways).  Maybe that just makes me like one of those people boycotting facebook.  I dunno.  Anyhow. 

I'll probably return to the site in a month or so, simply out of boredom.  Update/more complaints to come.

I Purchased Artwork.

I bought this off Etsy.  It combines several things I love.  I am now looking for a complimentary piece that features a caterpillar and a glass of wine (for balance).

This was a 'pay it forward' piece.  The artist only charged me shipping ($2.50) and only asked for a good deed for someone else in return.  I am not sure the going rate for artwork or what one should expect to pay for certain pieces (considering training, supplies, time put in, etc.), but I am confident this was a steal.

However, I will do a brief 'pay it backward' and feature this artist on my blog.  I really like the piece I purchased, and it looks like she has some other very nice pieces on her website.  Alane Holsteen, please note that, with this blog post, your work is being exposed to an audience of an additional five people (one of whom happens to be my own mother). 

I am still looking for a suggestion for my 'good deed' that I should do for another individual.

Milestones.

Tomorrow, August 13, is my three year anniversary at The Chicago Sun-Times. 

A moment. 

You Can Run, but You Can't Hide....

So recently, I received a phone call.  Let's say, hypothetically speaking - it was from a boy whom I may or may not be interested in.  Completely hypothetical.  And maybe not accurate.

Anyhow.

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, this individual asked for a quick response.  I am, hypot- oh, f' it -  definitely interested in speaking with this individual.  but maybe not at this moment.  Maybe I was not in the right mindset.  Maybe I need some time to 'organize my thoughts', if you will.   Maybe I just don't quite 'feel like it yet', if you will.

In the past, it was completely acceptable to take a day or so to call/email someone back.  It was understood that someone could be away from his/her phone/email for hours on end.  However, is that really believable (especially for someone in the 20-something range)?  At one point does someone realize that their contact has been received but is not being immediately responded to?  Your thoughts?

Another Recent Purchase....

The Martha Stewart Orbital Spice Rack.

I recently bought a similar one for a friend (Kat) for her bridal shower.   I decided to treat myself to one as well -  I often find myself needing to pick up random spices from the grocery store.  This is the perfect solution to it!

I believe this is what some call 'a cry for help'.

The Highlight of the Nordstrom Sale

Oh Mr. Coffee

Earlier this week, I suffered a loss.

My Mr. Coffee pot decanter (is that the right word?) broke.  I dropped it whilst washing the dishes.  Who knew glass was so fragile.  This comes one day after my purple wine glass broke.  When it rains, it pours....

Anyhow.  I was having trouble figuring out where/how to buy the replacement for the four cupper.  (I'm merely one soul).  I called Bed Bath & Beyond.  I asked them if they sold the four cupper decanter.   They said no.  They asked me if I bought it from there.  I said I wasn't sure, it was a gift from four years ago.  I didn't have the receipt or anything like that.  He said it's ok, bring it in, we'll give you a new one.  

So I brought him in.  I felt like I was doing something dirty.  I figured the girls at the customer service counter were going to cock-block my return.  But no.  I told them the exact story and they said sure, I could definitely just have a new one!!!

I did my best to keep a poker face until I got out of the store.  I felt like I'd just robbed a bank.  Prior to now, I wasn't so sure about this 'Bed Bath and Beyond Store' (why put expiration dates on the coupons when they don't expire?).  However, now I'm compelled to shop there (and return there) till I drop!

Where is this Relationship Going?

So this blog started out a bit political, then got all analytical (does everything happen for a reason?! do people change?!), then started analyzing dating/relationships/men/women, now has moved over to random crap I'm doing at my apartment.  Are my readers happy with the direction this blog has gone in?  Is it satisfying their needs?

Your thoughts?  Which do you like the best?  Which do you like the least?  What are some subjects I should explore?  

It's Coming....

I just got an email about the John Hersey High School Class of 2001 Reunion.

Sigh.

Earlier, I wrote a post about not needing a high school reunion these days, what with facebook and all.  Which is true.  People who would have dropped off the face of the earth in my world I now know are married, with baby, living in suburbia, working at company xyz.  So, I must say - people whom I was friendly with whom I wouldn't mind exchanging a couple nice words with - well, I can pretty much just comment on their statuses and be done with it.

Anyhow.  A close friend, whom I am trying to drag with to this blessed event, lamented that this is just going to be one big 'one up' fest.  Everyone will be trying to prove how wonderfully successful he or she has become.  It'll be a big 'who gained weight' 'who lost weight' 'who looks better' 'who makes a lot of money' 'who is now with someone better looking than his/her high school sweetheart' fest.   What is the purpose of a high school reunion?   Is it just to rub everyone's face in the whole 'you should have been nicer to me in high school' idea?  Is it just to see if someone you hate got fat or miserable?  Is a high school reunion ever anything BUT this?  Should I attend?   Your thoughts?