Officially An Adult?

I remember seeing a facebook friend post something about officially feeling like an adult on the day she received a poinsettia as a gift from a student.  It wasn't when she graduated college, got engaged, got a job, bought a house, moved in with her significant other, got married, or got pregnant, but rather, the moment when she received this gift that she officially felt like an adult. 

I had a similar moment when I voluntarily prepared brussels sprouts as part of a meal.  At the time I was 28, had been living alone for several years and was financially independent.  But yet, this random moment hit me.  

How about you?  What was your 'holy shit, I'm an adult' moment?  I firmly believe this is something that sneaks up on you - it's not in one profound moment (a college graduation, a first day of work, etc.), but rather, etched into the details of daily life.   What was your moment?

Back to School?

So a good amount of 20 somethings I know, at varying degrees of financial success, are thinking about going back to school.  Reason being, for the most part, they don't find their current careers to be exactly fulfilling.

Random observation - most people I know in the 35+ bracket find this to be an amusing '20 something thing' - it's a job, it doesn't have to be perfect or have meaning, it just needs to pay the bills.  The early 20 somethings are being almost hopelessly romantic about their careers; there will never be one to meet their expectations.

Anyhow.

A friend of mine mentioned that one shouldn't go back to school, it's not necessarily the key to getting a good job.  I find this to be an interesting and somewhat accurate point.  Some people end up in lines of work that have nothing to do with their degree/major.  Some lines of work require a very specific background, obviously, but other lines of work provide training specific to the industry that can only be learned through experience, rather than in a classroom.  That then lends itself to the age old question of 'how do I get experience if no one will give me a chance?'  I guess my question is - if there's a 20 something, or anyone, for that matter, who wants to change career paths - what is the best way to go about this?   Is it going back to school?  What are the other viable options?

Your thoughts?

Careers

So lately, as my friends and I enter various career paths and begin to climb the proverbial 'corporate ladder', if you will, I am faced with a question - do people choose their careers, or do they just end up on a certain path and continue going that way?

I remember once, early on in my working experience, having a VP of sales comment to me that he still didn't know what he wanted to do when he grew up.

Is this similar to the concept of SATC's taxi theory?  Men marry the woman who is there - people end up in the in the field of work that is 'there'.   How much is truly 'picking'?  I often times think of professional athletes - most of them started their sports when they were too young to decide it for themselves - their parents chose it for them.  Then, as they got good at it, they liked it so they stayed with it.  Do our careers really choose us?

I do believe 'professional blogger' has chosen me.  I just need the money to start rolling in.

Home Decorating - This is a Grown-Up Apartment....

....or at least I like to think so.

I have done some decorating this weekend.

a new vase....

and another - this one was only $7.50.  note the butterfly detailing.

a centerpiece - perfect for an Ikea coffee table

my aquarium is growing!!

The Sounds of the Late '90s....

So, as most of you readers know, a good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) frequent the BYOBs of the North Wrigleyville area. We have noticed a frequent pattern at said BYOBs - the hits of the '90s play in the background. Savage Garden, Vertical Horizon, Gin Blossoms, Matchbox Twenty, Sophie B. Hawkins, etc.

This clearly comes from a CD/something, because there are no commercials. I'm wondering if there is some business around (like 'Muzak') that sells background music to local restaurants (Matt, is this what has become of the Matt Mixes? Is this your side business?). Second question - why would restaurants opt for this kind of music, specifically? I mean, I do suppose it has a nice, easy-listening, non-objectionable quality to it. However, there are also other genres of music that fit this bill.

Anyhow. This kind of music holds a special place in my heart, because it is attached to plenty of childhood (well, high school) memories. Back when life seemed so one-dimensional. Sigh. Adolescent memories. Life. I digress.

I hope these local byobs keep this genre of music going strong. Any other late '90s music enthusiasts out there?

An Exciting New Development in My Life....

I am no longer 'couchless in Chicago'. My apartment is getting a new family member. See above. (The throw pillows will be removed and replaced with my pink & purple prepurchased ones.)

Anyhow.

I have basically visited almost every 'affordable' furniture store within a 15 mile radius. I will give a brief review/critique. When I googled 'affordable furniture Chicago' - I primarily got the response of 'Affordable Portables' and 'Roy's'. They are most likely fine establishments. Neither suited my needs.

My personal opinion - if you are looking for affordable furniture in Chicago (just beating the google keyword spiders over the head here) - where I got my piece of furniture:

The Furniture Outlet


Clearly, all business, no glitz. Great selection, great prices, nice owner. Of course, I have not yet had said piece of furniture (a black microfiber Ashley brand loveseat) delivered. If something ends up being less than perfect, there will surely be a follow-up blog.

My second choice furniture store:

Lubinski Furniture

Yes, I voluntarily ventured into Wicker Park. Now, for a coffee table....

Jerry Seinfeld Raises an Interesting Point

"When you're in your thirties, it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the
group is that you've got now, that's who you're going with. You're not
interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in
seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food.
They don't know the activities. If I meet a guy in a club on the gym or
some place - I'm sure you're a very nice person, you seem to have a lot of
potential, but we're just not hiring right now.

Of course when you're a kid, you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, that's my friend! They're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up? No. Great! Come on in. Jump up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, You like Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!"

Generally speaking - am I the only one who agrees that making actual, serious friends in adulthood is pretty difficult? Feel free to mock me on this one, but I think I'm not alone. I'm not talking friends as in coworkers, aquaintances, etc., but serious friendships - people you voluntarily see regularly. People a person could call at 4 am. People who would drive you to the airport. People who would help a person move (....).

Anyhow. Is it just me? I feel like it's easy to drift apart/lose touch/have falling outs with people - but is it easy to acquire new people into the group. Also, people live in other parts of the country or are in different stages of their lives, so it's harder to stay close. I feel like I know a lot of people who have claimed they feel like they don't have many friends any more and that their significant other is one of the only people they spend time with. Is it difficult to keep/make friends during adulthood? Are everyone's groups of friends pretty much set? Your thoughts.

All Grown Up....

So my former Sigma Kappa college roommate, Katie, is getting married this weekend. Ah! I can't believe it!!! They grow up so fast....

I remember when Katie was sick and stressed during finals week, my other roommate, Laura, and I gave her a lapdance in bed to cheer her up. I think it made her happy. At least that's what I want to believe. Anyhow. Sigh.

I am truly happy for her and Mark and the happiness they have found. This might seem like the time to share some funny embarrassing stories about the bride from sorority days, but, as they say, what happened in Room 20 stays in Room 20.

More On the Myers-Briggs....Mostly Because I'm Bored

So, while at work, I decided to try to get to know my ENTJ-self a little bit better...here's what I found:

Careers for the NT "Rationals" (INTP, ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ)

Rationals are natural born scientists and engineers, and are referred to as "the knowledge seeking" person. Many ADD Rationals do OK in school (but may underachieve) and they often go on to college. One ENTP has a webpage which says something like "I quit high school to play in a rock band, and later went to Yale to study physics." NTs judge themselves based on their ability to perform (whether it be getting things done or coming up with solutions) and are therefore unusually prone to performance anxiety. ADD probably increases the chance of this happening, since it can interfere with the ability to get things done.

Be aware: once a subject is mastered, the NT is likely to move on. This is true even for NTs who are not ADD. Figure this into your thinking. Are there future lateral career moves you can make to maintain interest? A related, but somewhat different career? A different type of company to work for? Don't berate yourself because you put so much energy into becoming good at what you do, only to find yourself oddly depressed with your job. Expect it to happen and plan for it. Use your love of logic to figure out a chain of possible career or job moves rather than expecting to find one and stick to it.

In "Please Understand Me," David Keirsey says that "his early start and his persistence enable the NT to excel above the other styles in technology. And, as the intellectual ability of the NT increases, the tendency to seek the sciences, mathematics, philosophy, architecture, engineering -- indeed, anything complicated and exacting -- also increases. These occupations, therefore, are heavily populated by NTs."

An NT child with ADD might learn to dislike school and not go on to college. But of all types, the NTs probably benefit most from college, because an advanced degree allows them to pursue the complex subjects which interest them most.

The worst career for an NT is one involving routine, excessive rules, boredom, simplicity. NTs are known for breaking any rule which is illogical and which interferes with getting the job done. NTs are full of ideas. A career which does not allow the NT to utilize their creativity will soon become frustrating and boring.

Some more specifics from "Please Understand Me":

"ENTJs will usually rise to positions of responsibility and enjoy being executives."
"ENTPs are good at innovative projects and can administer them well if dull routine is not involved. They usually are outstanding teachers, continuously devising new participative ways to make learning exciting for the students."
"The INTP is the architect of a system and leaves it to others to be the builder and the applicator...They are, however, often excellent teachers, particularly for advanced students, although INTPs do not always enjoy much popularity, for they can be hard taskmasters."
INTJs "can be outstanding in scientific research and also outstanding as executives who generate a plethora of implementations of ideas."
The NT ADDer: In general, careers which are good for an NT are also good for an NT which is ADD. The specific setting or job is likely to make a difference. For example, a large company with a lot of red tape may be unbearable to a particular NT/ADD engineer, while starting up business might be quite satisfying. There are science jobs involving research and science jobs involving tons of paperwork. The real trick is in avoiding the job with lots of paperwork (or at least delegating that part of the job).

Scary Thought

So, something I recently noticed on facebook got me thinking....I have now passed the four year anniversary of being a college graduate (December 15, 2004).  AHHH!  Crazy!  I have been an "adult" in the "real world" for FOUR YEARS (I started my first 'real job' February 5, 2004).   (Yes, I do have an odd ability to remember dates and an unhealthy love for parenthetical asides.)  

It's weird to think of all that this means - I have not done homework, studied for or taken a final, or worked at Chili's in four years.  I have now been out of college for longer than I was in it.  It's a bit hard for me to wrap my head around at this moment.  I need some time and space to take this all in.  I'll be back. 

Some Days the Real World is Rough

Now, I personally think it's easier to be a grown up than a kid - maybe that's just me.  Anyhow, every once in a while, there'll be something I desperately miss from childhood, such as the magical wonder known as snow days.   It made winter worthwhile.  I have a feeling I'm not alone on my love of snow days - there's a facebook group that describes a snow day as 'a one day extension on life'.

However, in the real world of downtown Chicago jobs and public transportation, large snowfall only means more daily hassles and frozen feet.  Alas.  Although, at one point in my adult life, I was part of an organization (which I am most certainly not part of any more) that had a snow day, but I suppose that made sense because we were all treated like kindergartners there anyway.  

Living with the 'Rents

So I was perusing facebook earlier today and noticed that some high school acquaintances from my grade (so pretty much 25 year olds) were hosting a party in my hometown of Mt. Prospect. I'm going off on a limb and guessing the event is taking place at someone's parents' house.

My three best friends from high school (all of whom have undergraduate as well as advanced degrees from respected universities and jobs in their fields) are currently shacking up with mom and dad in the Northwest 'burbs.

What percentage of 25 year-olds in the Chicagoland area are currently living with their parents? Of those who aren't, how many aren't living with a significant other? I constantly find myself at a loss for friends to go out with in the city - all of my friends with the exception of about two are either living in the burbs or living with their spouse (or almost spouse).

But regardless of the second group - what's with the surge of 20 somethings living at home? Is there a good explanation for this? Do we not want to grow up? Do entry-level salaries suck that bad? Are we all more about saving these days? What is the story?

Are YOU &$^ Material?

You know how there are those radio spots for certain career paths? Example:

"Do you enjoy working in a fast-paced environment? Are you looking to make over $50K a year? You should consider a career as a medical transponder!"

Well, a good friend and I used to work at, let's just say, an interesting company. And not interesting in a good way. We say the tragic experience brought us together. We decided, while carpooling and hearing many a radio spots like the aforementioned, to create the 'want-ad' for said company, based on what the company seemed to be looking for based on it's other hiring choices and job responsibilities.

I will refrain from mentioning the name of said company to protect the guilty (NOT the Sun-Times :)). Imagine the following being read in your typical radio-commercial announcer voice:

"Is busywork your specialty?
Does mental stimulation make you ill?
Do you lack all forms of social skills?
Does being surrounded by interesting people cause you excess anxiety?
Is succeeding just not a priority?
Are you looking for the closest thing to solitary confinement?
Does human interaction frighten you??
Maybe you should consider a career at...."

I Love Birthday Parties!

Six months ago, my workplace turned 60. Tomorrow is its 'birthday party' at Morton's steakhouse. When the company agrees to pick up the bar tab, you know there's bound to be some interesting happenings throughout the night.

Happy Birthday Chicago Sun-Times! Here's hoping for another great 60!! (fingers crossed!)

Living Together Before Marriage

So aside from politics, I like to blog about things that annoy me. Here is one major thing that annoys me - people in my age bracket (let's say 21-30) who think they are EXPERTS on how to have a successful marriage.

Now, I would not live with someone before marriage. This is my personal choice. I don't want to offend my multiple cohabiting friends - I don't necessarily find there to be anything wrong with doing so, per se. I'll blog more about this later.

Whenever I say this to other people in the aforementioned group, I am usually met with the same response "Jaime, no, you HAVE to live with someone before getting married".

Or else what?

You're destined to divorce? I find this absurd - if you look at all the cute little old married couples who have been together for 40+ years - I guarantee less than 1% percent of these people lived together before they were married, seeing that it was very taboo back at the time when they were dating. I know plenty of couples who didn't live together who are still married (my parents, aunts and uncles, etc.).

Aside from this - look at other facts: as cohabiting before marriage has become more popular, the divorce rate has risen (not that I'm saying there's causation - but there's definitely an undeniable correlation). That, and many couples who do end up divorcing do it at varied times - let's say there's a couple who divorces after 15 years; would the one to two years of living together before marriage have broken them up before walking down the aisle?

Also, seeing that living together before marriage is a somewhat new phenomenon, relatively speaking, it's credibility is somewhat untested. Maybe 30 years from now we can look at all couples who have stayed married for a long period of time and see if there's a higher percentage success rate for those who lived together before vs. those who didn't - however, we don't currently have any statistical backing to theories that living with together beforehand makes a couple more likely to have a successful marriage.

I think what's most annoying to me is those who preach that "you have to" seem to speak as though they are some authority on the subject. Of everyone I know in their early 30s or younger - they fall into three groups: never married, divorced, or somewhat recently married. I would not classify anyone in any of these groups as an 'expert on marriage'. If someone who has been married 30+ years wants to pull me aside and tell me "Jaime, you HAVE to do x, y, and z before getting married", I'll give it consideration. However, for now, these delusional self-proclaimed experts thoughts will continue to hold little to no water with me.

So When Are YOU Getting Married?

So, it seems as though there's a growing trend to harass all us swinging singles age 21 and up about tying the not. At family parties, weddings and various other events, people like me often get the question "so when are you getting married?"

It's quite a peculiar question when you think about it, seeing that if one is not currently engaged, how would one have an answer? "Well gee, I'm thinking October 11, 2010 - I have a dress picked out and a hall reserved, here's hoping I meet someone in time!"

I found a facebook group with a discussion board on clever retorts to this nagging question. I've always thought making people who ask intrusive questions uncomfortable to be one of life's simple pleasures - here's my top 10 answers that do exactly that:

10) As soon as my boyfriend gets out of jail.

9) Probably right after you guys get divorced.

8) As soon as Brad tires of Angelina.

7) When I lower my standards like you.

6) Actually, I prefer living in sin.

5) When I figure out who the father is.

4) Once the 'operation' is complete.

3) First they have to lift the restraining order....

2) Not until he turns 18, that's for sure.

drumroll please (I plan on using this on my grandmother, for she is sure to be asking said question)....

1) As soon as I can find a man who can outperform my vibrator!

Administrative Professionals Day

So today was the ultimate Hallmark holiday, Administrative Professionals Day (formerly Administrative Assistants Day, formerly Secretaries Day, etc.). I know this because, well, I'm an Administrative Assistant.

Now, I knew my bosses wouldn't remember. And I knew this Hallmark holiday existed - and I honestly was confident I wouldn't care when they very predictably forgot. Come on now - it's not Christmas or my birthday - it's not a time one "expects" something, for lack of a better word. It's certainly not a day I was eagerly anticipating.

However, when I got in to work and I saw all the other "secretaries" (I personally prefer this title - it seems to convey more importance, like secretary of state) getting flowers, gift cards, etc., from their bosses and all I seemed to get was a list of random "urgent" tasks, well - I'm not going to lie, I felt a little bit bitter.

Maybe it's because I know precisely the reason they didn't do anything for me - because they were completely unaware of the event. This is because they count on ME to point out things like this. They BLINDLY rely on me to remind and alert them of many important things. Had I ordered myself flowers and billed it to their department, they would have signed off on it without even reading it. However, this defeats the purpose.

The purpose of this holiday (and yes, I realize the term needs to be used loosely) ASIDE from Hallmark, etc., making money - is to remember someone - to show that her effort hasn't gone unnoticed. It's the thought that counts, if you will. It's not a matter of a tangible gift - it's a matter of thinking someone took five minutes of his time to do something to make me feel good, to make me feel remembered. And on this day, I feel, well, forgotten. :(

Something that Hits TOO Close to Home....