Single for the Holidays

So, as most of you know, I am single.  Some people have a problem being single at the holidays, however, I don't.  I think it's one thing if there's a significant other who has been around for a long time and already knows the family, however, for me personally, having to go meet all of someone's extended family, or more difficult, having to bring someone to meet all of my extended family would be somewhat stressful no matter how excited I am about the relationship.  

I guess I personally prefer to be single at times like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., because I prefer to go and relax with my family and be in my comfort zone of the holiday celebration I am used to.   However, oddly, some of the other members of my age group in my family seem to have no problem bringing a date to any and every family event, even if they've only been dating the person for a couple weeks.  I know some friends who will also bring someone they just started dating home to meet not only parents and siblings but also the whole entire extended family early on.  I am not sure if the point is to show off that they are, indeed, dating someone (and therefore dateable), or if this is just the standard way to operate for them and I personally don't understand it.   

Your thoughts?  Are any of you sad to be single at the holidays?  

I can count all zee way to....

Today is my mother's birthday! Happy Birthday to Marcia - one of this blog's most loyal readers.

Sidenote: A girl really gets slammed at this time of year. Mothers' Day was two weeks ago. My dad's b-day was last week. My mom's b-day is today. Fathers' day is in a couple weeks. Sheesh!

A Discussion!

So - just what I wanted to happen has happened - Jaime's blog is inspiring a discussion! I LOVE IT! My blog about living together before marriage has inspired not only comments, but also two separate blog entries from others! See below:

Matt's Post

Ana's Post

Sidenote: Please disregard Matt calling me out on "admittedly" not doing research (j/k).

I have a lot more to say on the subject of living together before marriage, however, first I'd like to hear from some who disagree with me. (I have a couple of specific, currently-cohabiting friends in mind.)

Happy Moms' Day!!

No posts today because I was busy spending the day with my mother!! She's the best mom a girl could ever ask for - if I ever have children, they're so gonna like their grandma better than their mom!

Living Together Before Marriage

So aside from politics, I like to blog about things that annoy me. Here is one major thing that annoys me - people in my age bracket (let's say 21-30) who think they are EXPERTS on how to have a successful marriage.

Now, I would not live with someone before marriage. This is my personal choice. I don't want to offend my multiple cohabiting friends - I don't necessarily find there to be anything wrong with doing so, per se. I'll blog more about this later.

Whenever I say this to other people in the aforementioned group, I am usually met with the same response "Jaime, no, you HAVE to live with someone before getting married".

Or else what?

You're destined to divorce? I find this absurd - if you look at all the cute little old married couples who have been together for 40+ years - I guarantee less than 1% percent of these people lived together before they were married, seeing that it was very taboo back at the time when they were dating. I know plenty of couples who didn't live together who are still married (my parents, aunts and uncles, etc.).

Aside from this - look at other facts: as cohabiting before marriage has become more popular, the divorce rate has risen (not that I'm saying there's causation - but there's definitely an undeniable correlation). That, and many couples who do end up divorcing do it at varied times - let's say there's a couple who divorces after 15 years; would the one to two years of living together before marriage have broken them up before walking down the aisle?

Also, seeing that living together before marriage is a somewhat new phenomenon, relatively speaking, it's credibility is somewhat untested. Maybe 30 years from now we can look at all couples who have stayed married for a long period of time and see if there's a higher percentage success rate for those who lived together before vs. those who didn't - however, we don't currently have any statistical backing to theories that living with together beforehand makes a couple more likely to have a successful marriage.

I think what's most annoying to me is those who preach that "you have to" seem to speak as though they are some authority on the subject. Of everyone I know in their early 30s or younger - they fall into three groups: never married, divorced, or somewhat recently married. I would not classify anyone in any of these groups as an 'expert on marriage'. If someone who has been married 30+ years wants to pull me aside and tell me "Jaime, you HAVE to do x, y, and z before getting married", I'll give it consideration. However, for now, these delusional self-proclaimed experts thoughts will continue to hold little to no water with me.