Monday, May 17, 2010

Asking a Man Out....

So Chelsea Handler says (on the subject of asking a man out before he asks you):

Never ask out a guy before he asks you.  I don't care what sore of women's movement feminist crap you hear: it's a big mistake.  men are, for the most part, stupid.  If they have been told their whole lives that it is their place to ask out a woman and you upset that rule and confuse them, their heads will explode.
On top of  that, if they haven't asked you out yet, they're probably not interested.  In that case, they would only say yes if you ask them because they (a) feel sorry for you or (b) assume that you will pay.  In either scenario, you lose.

Now, when I was younger, I may have held a different viewpoint (see previous posts about not wanting to be picked by a man, but rather, to do the picking).

However.   I kind of think one non-negotiable is that a guy must really like me, or at least, be interested enough to ask me out.  If he can't ask me out, he either (a) isn't all that into me, or (b) lacks the balls to ask me out.  As Chelsea said - either way, it's a loss.

Your thoughts?  Should women ask out men?  Should we remain old-fashioned on this one?  Do you other girls out there ask men out?  Do you men enjoy getting asked out by women?  Or, is this question in and of itself too old fashioned?  Should it be 'should women wink/poke/nudge/whatever form of online dating communication effort first'?

5 comments:

Blogger said...

I think people should just do what feels right - no need to try and make rules for everything.

That's Not My Name said...

blah. Anyone who has to follow some archaic set of 'rules' about what to do or what not to do... That sounds like the kind of junk that Cosmo peddles to innocent and gullible 16 year olds who don't believe that men are people-people with thoughts, feelings, and viewpoints. Everyone is different. There's no right way to do things.
I'm also curious how you would know that a guy likes you-are you not allowed to tell the guy that you like him? Is it some elaborate game where you try to figure out if he's interested based on polling all of your friends and reading into his text messages? Why does a guy need 'balls' to ask someone out? Why can't people do what they want without fear?
I dunno, I guess I just get tired of the idea that men have some crazy hidden agenda that must be deciphered. I also don't think they're all idiots.
Yes, I have a lot of opinions on this topic. Good Post!!

That's Not My Name said...

For the record, I have found that most guys LOVE IT when you ask them out.

Jaime said...

LOL. Interesting. This sparks the possibility of another discussion.

I guess I am partially basing this on Greg (of 'He's Just Not That Into You') saying 'hjntiy' if he's not asking you out. That, and traditionally speaking, it is a guy's role to ask a girl out. Typically, he knows that, so if he's interested, he will do so. If he isn't asking a girl out, simply, he's just not interested enough.

However, since the tables have turned, women ask men out, dating has changed a lot, etc., I am wondering if this still holds true. Do men still assume it's their job to ask out women? I will save the rest of this for my next post. :-)

Anonymous said...

Notwithstanding the fact you're quoting someone who released a sex tape to advance her career, this is correct. The guy should always ask the girl out. c'mon now. this is basic shit. -marek

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