I went on a first date with a man I met on a dating website. He initiated the first contact, we had a couple good conversations. He suggested we grab drinks. We met up for drinks. Over a series of about three hours, we chatted about our jobs (we are in the same line of work), various places we liked hang out, our backgrounds, etc. Because we shared several interests, the conversation was fairly easy. He mentioned more than once that he was having a nice time with me and that he would like to go out again.
The bill came. As always, I did the typical 'grab for my wallet'. Since we were sitting at a bar, he had gotten there first and given the bartender his credit card to start a tab.
"We can split it," I said.
He looked at me. "Sounds good."
I'll admit, I was a little surprised by this. I pulled out a $20. "I'm just going to put it all on my card," he said. So, he grabbed my $20 and gave me $5 back. He then closed out the bill and left an unimpressive tip. We headed out. He mentioned, again, that he'd had a nice time and suggested we hang out again. I gave a fake smile and a 'mmm-hmm'. We parted ways.
************************************
He was officially done in my book at the moment he let me pay for myself. I know this is questionable ground. I ran this situation by several close girlfriends.
"Did you like him? If you liked him, go out with him again. He should have paid for you, but it's not the worst thing."
Whether or not I liked him was completely tainted by the end incident. During the date, things had a positive spin. He bought a fancy wine the other night? Earlier, that meant he had good taste and appreciation for nice things. Afterward, he was cheapass who has no problem spending money on himself. He spoke about how his recent career advancements. At first I thought it showed ambition and a value of hard-work. Afterward he just seemed like a conceited braggart.
Anyhow. I know this is a point of contention amongst men and women. Several of my guy friends say they always pay for a girl and feel that not doing so is simply 'douchey' behavior that doesn't warrant a second chance. It's not necessarily that I think "the man pays for the woman", but I see it more as a "who asks, pays" kind of deal. Often times, if I'm out with a guy for a first date, I will have no problem paying for some portion (a round of drinks, the cab ride, etc.), however, a split down the middle is a complete and total deal-breaker. However, I suppose some might see it as old-fashioned.
What are your thoughts? Is it ok to split a bill on a first date? Should a girl give a guy who lets her pay for herself a chance? Is it old-fashioned to believe a man should pay for a woman on the first date? What are your thoughts and experiences, dear readers?