Mr. DeJa-Wink

So, as quite a few of my readers know, I was on match.com for a while.  I quit recently, not because I'm madly in love with the man of my dreams, but because I've been really busy lately with my new job, etc., so I just felt like I wasn't logging on enough and 'getting my money's worth', if you will.  I may try again at a later 'date'.

Anyhow.

I did, of course, get a couple interesting experiences/stories out of it.

I think my best one is Mr. DeJa Wink.  We will call him Joe.  Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Ok.  So it's early June.  I am new to match.  He winks.  He looks decent.  I wink back.  He sends me the standard generic first email (Hi!  You look interesting.  How was your weekend?  I live in this area.  I work in this area.  Where do you usually hang out?  Hope to hear back from you!)  I replied.

I never heard from him again.  No big deal.  I figured he started dating some other girl or something.

Anyhow.  Then, two months later....

I see he views my profile.  Then he winks.  Uh...  Does he not recognize me?  Is our relationship already moving backward?   I thought we were at the email stage already....

Anyhow, to further entertain where this might go, I winked back.   He then writes me virtually the same introductory email.  Thanks to gmail, I checked that it wasn't the EXACT same email (in which case I'd think he'd just be firing off a copy/paste), but it was pretty much a 'Hey, I'm Joe...hope to hear from you!)  I wrote him back virtually the same email.  He then emails me again.

At this point, he's being pretty nice/polite, and I'm starting to think 'is it really that big of a deal that he doesn't remember me?  it's not like we actually went out or even spoke on the phone...there's a ton of people on here, it's a reasonable mistake....'

Anyhow.  He suggests we get together.  Sure.  When am I free?  Next Monday or Wednesday would be good.  Which day is better for me?  Monday.  He then suggests a nice Irish bar.  Sounds good to me - what time?  Would 8 work for  him?  At this point, it has reached Sunday night.  He replies 'Yes, 8 is good.  We're talking about Wednesday, right?'

Umm, no.  And if he were to look down through the emails which automatically show up in the chain, for just one second, he would have seen it.  Again, not a huge deal, just kind of weird.  So, sigh, I replied 'Wednesday is fine.'

Then I ran it by the jury.  My friend Jeannine stepped up and played the voice of reason.  'This guy sounds really dumb.  He doesn't remember talking to you, he doesn't know what day you're getting together....'

Now, under normal circumstances, since this guy seemed like he was a decent person, I would have gone out and had two beers with him, then made the ultimate judgment call.  However, a combination of me being pretty busy/exhausted and me thinking 'this guy clearly isn't my soulmate, I'm not going to fall in love with him, best case scenario is I won't feel like I totally wasted two hours of my life, and right now that's looking a little slim' lead me to politely canceling.  I was kind of vague and said something came up, I wouldn't be available that night.  I was curious if he would try to reschedule.  He didn't.  I doubt I'll ever hear from him again.  Unless, of course, I rejoin match and he winks again.

The Worst Part of A First Date.

...taken directly from Seinfeld:


Jerry: Dating is really starting to get embarrassing isn't it?
Elaine: I know. You know, whenever I'm on a date I feel people can tell.
Jerry: People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Elaine: You can say that again.
Jerry: It's embarrassing for them. It's painful for us to watch. I'm going out with someone later, I'm not even taking her out of the house.
Elaine: Good for you.
Jerry: I don't need a bunch of people staring at us.

No Jaime Judging.

So I have a group of three high school girlfriends.  We are a tightknit crew.  We don't get to all be in the same place at the same time very often.  It is complicated as adults.

Once in a while, it will so happen that the three of them will get together without me for whatever reason.  It mostly ends up that I am invited but cannot make it.   Said incident is happening right now.

Whenever this happens, I always say the exact same thing to them:

Please don't talk about me too much.

It is a half-joking sentiment - A)  because I know, if anything, this has encouraged the opposite and 2) because I know there really is no way to stop it.

I don't think this group of friends is particularly gossipy, especially not in comparison to other girl groups I have experienced in life.   I feel all women are like this.  And, truth be told, as much as I don't like to think I'm being gossiped about, it really has little to no impact on my life.  That, and let's be honest, I am not interesting enough to be gossiped about.  I hope to one day be exciting enough to be featured on perez hilton.  Even if if it's in a bad light.  There's no such thing as bad publicity.

Anyhow.  I digress.  Does anyone else feel the same way at times?  Does anyone else ask her girlfriends, or anyone in general, not to talk about her?  Does anyone know of a group of girls that doesn't occasionally gossip about whoever is not there?  Can they possibly be any fun at all?!  Do any women not gossip?   Your thoughts?

Call Me Dwight Schrute

Why yes, those are beets.

Don't ask.

And Now, A Word On Sports Bras.

So I have fallen in love with Lululemon.  It only makes sense.  I love fancy, nice, high-end things.  I love dance and working out.  I love nice clothing.  There needed to be a company that focuses on well-fitted, cute, stylish workout clothes.  It was a genius idea on someone's end.  What gal doesn't want a cute sports bra?

Why yes, I do love my purple lululemon sports bra.  It is one of the best.

Is it the absolute best sports bra ever?  No.  Who makes the absolute best sports bra?

(Drumroll please.)

Aerie.

Yes, that random little known store - the American Eagle underwear store.  They also have the best bras.

I was discussing this with a good friend who was in complete agreement with me.  She then suggested that this store was well accustomed to, ahem, women built like us.  Said friend has a very similar body type to me.

I think that's why I love my Aerie sports bra.  (And I may have simultaneously lost all my male readers.)  It still takes the time to shape and accentuate instead of simply focusing on flattening and holding in.  Most women who are concerned about their support are those who, ahem, really desperately need it - and I feel most of the upper body support industry caters to this sector of the market.  I often find my sector of the market ignored in this respect.  Dear bra industry - please don't forget about my people.

Bravo, Aerie.  I don't mean to brand you in a certain way, but you really work for me.

Have any other women out there built like me found luck at any other bra/sports bra stores?!  Any other brand recommendations?  Anyone else love Aerie?  Your thoughts?

Nail Art

So, according to Glamour magazine (where I get a lot of my important information), fancy nail art is in.

Here is the article with some various tips.

I have news.  This is not NEW news.  This is like, when, say, 8 years ago, there were articles about flare leg jeans being in style.  Maybe it was a current, accurate statement, but there was nothing 'first' about it.  Back in high school (which was, ahem, a few years ago), I did nail art ALL the time.  I painted ladybugs, rainbows, hearts, flowers, and butterflies on my nails quite regularly.  (Editor's note:  please keep any commentary on what you, dear readers, think I might have been like back in high school to yourself.)

I used paintbrushes that I cut down to a very thin size (so there were only a couple bristles of hair left) for the fine line necessary for the detailing.   People would compliment my nails all the time - even strangers.   Does anyone who knew me back then have pics of this?  And by anyone, I mostly mean mom.  And by pics of this, I mean my nails, not people complimenting me - although that's something I'd like documented as much as anything.

Anyhow.   Although the nail art is fun, it is time consuming and the end result doesn't last for long.  Does anyone know anyone who actually DOES the fancy nail polish designs on her own nails?  Most of my friends don't even do their own nails - they get manicures.  If anyone knows of anyone sporting nail art - please submit a pic to this blog.  Otherwise, I will walk around thinking I am the only one, or, at least, was the only one back, ahem, a couple years ago.  

I Don't Date Men Not on Facebook.

I was at a lovely Chicago street fair.  I ended up talking to a (seemingly) nice young gentleman.  He was cute and flirtatious.   I asked him what he did for a living.  He's a lawyer.  When he talked more in-depth about his job (quite voluntarily, I might add), I discovered he works with my cousin.   They are in the same department.  I mentioned I'd be seeing her the next day at a family party.  I said I'd mention to her that, small world, I'd met him.  He even relayed an inside joke from work to tease her about.   Important detail to mention - he did this all whilst flirting with me, buying me drinks, asking for my number, attempting to kis me, and suggesting he take me out to dinner.

The next day, I, indeed, see said cousin (a woman around my age, recently happily married with a newborn baby).  I mention said man to her.  Long story short - he has a girlfriend.  In another city.  Long distance relationship.  SERIOUSLY!?  Seriously.  Not that he couldn't have a girlfriend.  But the fact that he knew my cousin/his coworker knew this, he knew I'd be talking to her, etc... ay yi yi.

Anyhow.  So I assumed, at this point, this was basically an instance of him having tried to have a one-night fling on a night out (definitely didn't go that far) and that I'd never hear from him again.

Oh no.  He texted.  He said he needs to take me out to dinner.  Instead of starting some big confrontation with a virtual stranger that nothing happened with that I'd most likely never see again who clearly isn't interested in changing his ways, I decided to just pretty much ignore him or shoot him one word answers so he'd get the hint.   He kept persevering for a little bit, but, as of press time, I haven't  heard from him in almost a week.

That brings me to my point.  Men living double-lives/dating multiple women.   Something I've learned over the past couple years - they are much more common than I realized.   I've had a couple people I know who've dated a man for a while that they thought was their committed boyfriend and it turned out there was another woman who thought the exact same thing.  I don't really understand how it's worth it for a person to have to maintain so many lies with multiple people, but alas, that's another blog post in and of itself.

Anyhow - one thing I realize about all of these men - they are not on facebook.  Because facebook makes it difficult for people to maintain multiple lives.  A guy can't really tell one of his girlfriends 'hey honey, whatever you do, don't post that nice picture of us together' (because one of my other ladies might see it) without encountering 'but why not, sweetie, we look so great together in it!'.  So, these men generally avoid having an internet presence, often times under the guise that they can't 'because of their important career'.  That was the immediate response of this man when I asked him if he was facebook friends with my cousin.  "Oh, I can't have facebook, I'm a lawyer."   That being said, I know plenty of serious doctors, lawyers (for example, my cousin), teachers, students, and business professionals who, gasp, have facebook.   As a general rule, whenever I meet a man under 30 without facebook, I immediately wonder what he has to hide (or how technologically inept he is).  

In short, based on the experiences of some people I know, as well as this dude, I now have a 'mandatory facebook' dating rule.  I am alone in this rule?  Anyone else on board?  Does anyone know someone successfully maintaining shady behavior with an internet presence?   Anyone else encountered men living double lives?  (Through the experiences of a couple people I know - they definitely exist!)

For My Spelling and Grammar Enthusiasts....

Nothing wrong here...move along, move along....

Bad Blogger.

Hi all.

So as you all know, yes, I have been a bad blogger.  I don't have an excuse.

Actually, I quasi-do.  I started a new job.  This is my first new job in four years.  I left the Sun-Times just shy of my four year anniversary.

Anyhow.  I know it is frowned upon to 'blog about work'.   I also know that one of my coworkers was very upfront and told me he'd discovered THIS BLOG by pregoogling my name when I was going through the application process.  Luckily, he said he'd discovered a post where I'd mentioned I'm the kind of person who likes to go out and occasionally have a beer, so he knew he liked me from that one.

With no further ado - a brief overview of the new job:

I really like it.   It's a much smaller company from what I'm used to (only 6 people in the Chicago office!!!), but it is a very comfortable working environment.  It is definitely interesting work.  Nice people.  Fully stocked fridge - which is a complete and totally new interesting benefit to me.  I will now be eating all my meals at the office.   Also - it is a very casual dress code - as in, there isn't one.  I'm sure if I were to channel my inner high school self (aka queen of the dress code violations) - I'd be able to inspire some ground rules, but I'm not going to push my luck.  I am so happy to wear jeans and a t-shirt daily.  I always dreamed of having a job where I could make use of  my entire wardrobe.  It weighed on me to have to dress in red and khaki when I was the cashier at Target.  See kids, keep reaching for the stars.  This brings new meaning to 'dress for the job you want'.  The job I want is CEO of a laid-back company - I am on the right path.  Anyhow.  I love it.  I was sad to leave my old role, but I definitely feel good about this career opportunity.

Now that I am getting settled (and fed), I should be able to dedicate more time and energy to said blog.  

People Who Treat Google Like a Magic 8 Ball

Funny experiment.

Start typing 'Will I Ever' into google....

Some of the autofills are absolutely ridiculous:

--Will I ever find love
--Will I ever get married
--Will I ever be good enough

Other amusing searches:

--What is the meaning of life
--What is the meaning of love
--Do I love him
--Do I look good
--Am I going crazy

Dear searchers - I do know that it can feel like the source of all information at times....however, I think this may have gone a step too far.  Is it that someone thought, per se, that some knowing being out there published accurate information on whether or not said someone would find love, and it was really just a matter of finding this information on the internet?  Actually, it appears, quite a few someones may have had this thought.

Or, perhaps, more logically, someone was dealing the frustrations of wondering about one of said topics and was looking for some articles on the subject of how to cope, or to perhaps to see if there are others out there who feel the same way.

I'm sticking with my first theory.  Does google have any good information on what the future holds for Jaime?!  Has anyone ever been guilty of one of said googles?  Has anyone found anything good?  Any other good ones my dear readers can think of?!   Your thoughts!?

It's Coming....

(cue for Jaws music)

No, not shark week.

The 10 year high school reunion.

Dun dun dun.

Over-Used Buzz Word that Annoys Me

Handcrafted.

It's everywhere.  My sandwich was handcrafted.  Really?  That's so shocking.  I thought there were robots with a conveyor belt.   My mojito was handcrafted?!  And I thought there was a packet of 'instant mojito', starbucks via style.

I'll stop now.

Does something being 'handcrafted' really add appeal?  My inner germophobe feels secretly relieved to think as few individuals as possible had a 'hand' in anything I'm about to consume.  Maybe that's just me.

Nevermind me as I search for a restaurant with the robots and conveyor belt....