Asking Someone Out, Again....

Ok, so some interesting points have been raised in my previous posts. Here's another dating confusion, if you will....

Now, the question I raise....sometimes, it's hard to tell, exactly, what a person's intentions are when asking one out. Sure, if one were to meet a stranger in a bar and he/she suggests grabbing drinks/dinner, it's obvious that he or she is asking for a DATE. However, let's say there's someone who one already knows - like a neighbor/coworker/etc. - and he/she asks one to go grab a drink or the even more vague 'hang out'. Is it that this person is asking for a date, or is this person maybe just bored? Is this person just trying to foster a friendship? What is the assumption?

I find these circumstances awkward because there are plenty of people whom I wouldn't mind spending time with, socially, but I am not interested in dating. There's no real easy to way to try to clarify what a person means by the invite without making things completely uncomfortable - 'uh, what do you mean, I mean, sure, I'll have coffee with you, just not like THAT, unless you never meant that in the first place, in which case, never mind that I assumed you'd want to date me'.

I realize that it's probably much easier to say 'hey, we should hang out sometime' - it's a lot less awkward than, say, 'can I take you out on a date'. However, I also find it awkward when there are different expectations on a 'hanging out' event.

Since I'm a girl, I don't usually do the asking. What do my readers think here? Does anyone ask anyone out any more, or is it always worded 'we should hang out'? Is there a good way to try to clarify a person's intentions?

Concert Tonight!

Well actually, the concert was yesterday night. Better Than Ezra. It was great. Kind of short and not all that crowded. And the band members have all aged a bit. But otherwise, it was great.

I went to for the subject line of 'Concert Tonight' because it is a toss-back to the good old days of River Trails Middle School. I am not sure how many RTMS alums read this blog (well, there's only really one or two I know of) - but I'm curious if anyone else will get this.

Celebrity Lookalikes

Occasionally, people will ask me what celebrity I look like. The only celebrity I've ever been consistently compared to is Calista Flockhart (of Ally McBeal/Brothers & Sisters fame). I got this more in high school - I haven't heard it recently.



For Halloween, one year I made myself look like Pam from The Office (Jenna Fischer); this past year, Sarah Palin. I have been told (once) that I look like Pam (aside from the day I dressed like her).




A good friend and blog reader once said she thinks I look like Cameron Diaz - but again, I've only heard this from one source.



Once, five minutes before the end of a date, I was told I look like Angelina Jolie. I realize it was meant as a compliment, but I don't like her. I could write a whole entry based on my feelings toward her. Also, based on the timing of said compliment, I highly, highly, highly question the sincerity of it. That, and I really don't particularly see it.



There you have it?

Where to Meet Someone, Part 2

Ok, so once, I did have an experience of meeting someone/getting asked out on the street. However...here's how it went.

I was walking down the street with a coworker/good friend (and regular blog reader). It was just after New Year's, I believe, and I had made a resolution to be more open-minded toward men who ask me out (it was "The Year of the Yes" for me, if you will). Anyhow.

A random jogger guy ran past us at some point. I saw him briefly. My friend and I happened to separate because she had to go to her car and I went back into the office. A couple minutes later, said friend calls my cell phone.

In short, this jogger guy approached her and asked for my number. A.Page, being the savvy friend that she is, told him she would take his number down and give it to me.

Long story short, it was the year of the yes, I was single, I gave him a call. I'll give you a brief synopsis of said phone conversation. (I have summarized for your sanity, dear reader.)

(A brief 'Hi, how's it going, etc.' takes place.)
Me: So what do you do? Where do you work?
His name was Phil: I work in advertising, at an agency.
Me: Oh cool, I work in advertising too. I work at XXXX. Which agency do you work at?
Phil: Uh, it's on Michigan Avenue. I'm not supposed to say.
Me: Huh?
Phil: They don't like it when we tell people where we work, you know.
(Ooookkkk....)
Me: So where do you live?
Phil: Chicago
Me: Which area? (All I was lookin' for a was a simple 'Lincoln Park' - not a specific street address.)
Phil: The city, in general.
Me: Uh, this is kind of weird.
Phil: You have to understand where I'm coming from, I don't really know you, my last girlfriend was the psycho....
Me: (Since I was getting irritated at this point, I figured I'd give him one final chance to strike out.) What's your last name?
Phil: Oh, there's no way I'm gonna tell you that.
Me: You think I'm possibly going to agree to meet you when you won't tell me the first thing about yourself?
Phil: Well, we can meet at a public place.
(LIKE THERE WAS EVER AN ALTERNATIVE OPTION.)
Me: CLICK.

Anyhow - long story short - something was obviously shady. So, I guess that brings me back to part 1 of this series - is it possible to meet a NORMAL person who turns into a legitimate relationship in this way? Does this happen?

Editor's sidenote: However unrealistic, I do believe that his employer is, for obvious reasons, ashamed of the individuals it hires and that hr may have, indeed, pulled him on the side and asked him never to divulge that he is, indeed, associated with them.

Where to Meet People....

Ok, so I know I've discussed in this blog (multiple times) places a person can meet someone (for dating purposes). I think it's been established that the main ways to meet people are 1) through a friend, 2) at a bar, 3) at work, or 4) online.

However, many people have qualms with any/all of the above.

Now, it seems to me that, in theory, especially in a big city like Chicago, there should be plenty of other places to meet people. We SEE tons of new people every single day of our lives. There's nothing, in theory, abnormal about approaching a stranger and trying to strike up a conversation at a bar. So it seems as though one could, also in theory, approach a stranger on the train, in a bookstore, at a coffeeshop, on the jogging path, etc.

However - my MAIN question: do normal people ever really do that? Has anyone met his/her significant other, or someone who was a legitimate romantic partner at some point in such a way? It seems all well and good on paper, but does that ever really happen? It seems awkward - it's hard enough to start a conversation with a stranger, and if you think about it - the turnaround time of getting a phone number/date/some promise of a possibility of speaking to the person ever again has got to be pretty darn quick, if it's, say, somewhere like 'in line at the coffee shop'.

Anyhow. I feel like, in movies, people can easily fall in love in line at the grocery store, but does that EVER really happen in real life? Has anyone ever asked anyone out/been asked out this way? Does anyone know anyone who has had a real relationship start this way? Do people actually do this?

Weird Dream, Part 85?

So now, I am someone who happens to believe there are meanings, etc., to dreams. Well, I have been going in a 'having dreams' spurt lately. (Sidenote: What causes spurts of having dreams? Or, I suppose, as the 'experts' would say - what causes spurts of remembering one's dreams?)

Anyhow. Last night - I dreamt I was in my high school parking lot. I was driving a car (actually, I was driving the car of a girl I used to work with, whom I didn't meet until after high school and haven't seen in years). Somehow, the car started going in reverse (not to my doing) and I tried to stop it, but it sideswiped another car and left quite a bit of damage on both cars. I got out of the car and tried to examine the damage. However, when I looked closer, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Randomly, the owner of the car I hit came running up, but she wasn't at all upset, like one would expect a person to be.

So, naturally, I googled 'dream interpretation - car crash'. Here's what I got:

Dreams of cars are symbols of how you are progressing towards your ambitions and emotions experienced with traveling through life. A car can also be symbolic of our bodies.

To dream of a Car Crash indicates that you feel aspects of your life are out of control. Was someone else driving the car? If so you need to gain control over your life which is being dominated by another person.

Hmm.

There are a couple things I note about this bizarre dream that may appear to be significant:

1) I was in my high school parking lot
2) I was going in reverse
3) I couldn't stop the car by my own doing
4) The damage didn't end up being as bad as I expected it to be

Hmm. What does this all mean? I almost think I might know....

It's Britney, Bitch!

Ok, so I got to thinking about this the other day - now, say what you will about Britney Spears, but when it comes to musicians from my era who "can stand the test of time" - it appears as though Britney has doneso (for better or for worse). Kind of amazing, considering some she has outlasted.

Think about it - Britney has been around for over a decade. She was on her second album before that big Y2K snafu. She's been around longer than American Idol! I remember subscribing to Seventeen magazine and seeing her face in the ads as an up and coming artist.

I also remember, senior year of high school, going to Best Buy and being embarrassed to buy her CD (I think I lumped it in with U2 and Matchbox Twenty and pretended it was a gift for a younger cousin - I liked to pretend, back then, that I had finer tastes). However, now, I will proudly shout that I love Britney and I'm not afraid to show it! Think about - Baby One More Time, Womanizer, Gimme More, Lucky, I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman, Someday, and of course my personal all-time favorite - Oops, I Did it Again!!

Is anyone else a closet Britney fan? Say what you will, she has consistently been in the news for ten years straight (again, for better or for worse). Maybe 'Oops, I Did It Again' was really a line foreshadowing what's to come in her career.

Summer of Love

So this past weekend, I had a bachelorette party Friday night and an engagement party on Saturday (which I will touch more on later). However, during the engagement party, I happened to see a large boat traveling down the Chicago river (not at all unusual). As I looked closer, I noticed there was a wedding taking place on said barge. How romantic and fun! I thought this was a cute place to get married. As I looked closer at the boat, I couldn't help but notice a certain hilarity to it (NOT keeping with the theme of romance).



For me, this is the icing on the cake. When I meet my future husband, I am going to have to look into renting out this one.

Two Birthdays!

My roommate Jessica and my lovely dog, Louie!

The One?

So now, this morning on the el, I was reading Cosmo (as usual) and there's an article about soulmates (and, kind of, how it's dangerous to believe in them because we pass up good people and just set ourselves up for disappointment).

Do my readers believe in soulmates? I'm a cynic, however, I am torn on this one. I actually kind of do believe in soulmates - however, I think some people will mistakenly think someone is his or her soulmate, get hung up on the person, and then, as cosmo illustrates - miss out on other great people. I can definitely see this - I definitely think it's important to eventually move past someone if it's clear it's either a) not going to work out or b) not happening in the first place. A part of me wants to think (like most of my friends think) that there are lots of people for lots of people, and soulmates are just a figment of one's imagination. (Editor's sidenote - and not to annoy Piper - but it just came to mind that my cynical sarcastic counterpart Chandler Bing also doesn't believe in soulmates. Had to say it.)

Anyhow. There's also another school of thought that says we get two great loves - I'm not sure my feelings on this idea either, although it is quite realistic - maybe there's one for our younger selves (a 'first love', if you will) and then one for our mature adult self - the person we ultimately become.

A tiny tiny part of me does believe there are things not in our control and that sometimes, for whatever reason, some things are just meant to be (or not meant to be), and that maybe some of us do have someone we are somehow destined to end up with. However, I guess I'm not sure everyone has a soulmate. And I definitely, definitely think a lot of people I know have wrongly thought someone was their soulmate (and probably ended up with a lot of wasted time and energy on that person/missed out on other opportunities, etc.). Hmm.

What do you all think? Please, enlighten me.

Follow Me....

So, thanks to the help of my good friend Emily, I have set it up so that one can sign up to be a public follower of this blog. I know some of my readers might not want to publicly admit they're stalking me, or even associated with me, for that matter, however, I'd really really appreciate it if you sign up. Anon, I am looking your way....

For Those Watching So You Think You Can Dance....

Why do the wardrobe folks hate Cat so much?!?!

I didn't like Cat, either, at first, but now I think she's really the perfect host for this kind of show. She's the hard-hitting journalist who asks questions of the judges when they completely incoherent statements. That and she's kind and nurturing to the dancers - she's the mother hen. She's pretty good - much better than Samantha Harris from Dancing with the Stars. Anyhow - Cat's ok, but she needs someone to do a better job dressing her. STAT.