The Last Word

So I get a message from a dude on an online dating site.  His profile was just ok - nothing wrong with him but not someone who'd catch my interest.  I would have given him a chance, but his message was not my style.  Let's just say he alluded to what beautiful babies we would create.

Needless to say, I did my typical 'ignore without reply', which is usually my standard practice when I receive a message from someone that I'm not interested in.  However, for those of you (lucky souls) not familiar with how online dating works, he could see that I'd viewed his profile and that I'd logged on since he'd sent the message. 

A couple days later, I get another message.  (Editor's sidenote:  Why, I ask, why, does anyone feel the need to send more than one message to someone who isn't answering? What good could possibly come from it?)

Anyhow - the message:

'Nevermind.'

Well then.  He sure showed me.  HE has rejected me.  He has the final word here!  (And yes, he sure does, because I'm not responding to that either.)

Le sigh.

I think I'll keep my OKCupid profile up indefinitely (even if I'm say, married, one day) just for the amusement from bizarre messages I receive.

Real or Fake?

This year, I had to make a tough decision.

Seeing that I am STILL sweeping up pine needles in my apt from last year, and that I was never able to fully get last year's tree to stand up straight - this year, I ended up buying a fake tree.

Le sigh.  Whop whop.  I know.  What's next?  Moving to the suburbs?   I PROMISE that won't happen.

Anyhow.  The tree is beautiful.  It stands straight.  It is consistently in the same state since when I brought it home.  There are no pine needles.  I'm not worried about the lights setting it on fire. 

Pictures to come.  Santa hasn't wrapped the gifts under it yet. 

Have any of you had to make the switch from real to fake?  Was it as hard for you?  Anyone prefer real?  I will agree that real is better.  But much harder to maintain.

A Treat for Your Insides After All the Cookies?

Thank you, YouSwoop.  Just in time for the holidays - what I'm going to give all my loved ones....

Colon Hydrotherapy!

Now I'd call that the gift that keeps on giving!  Actually, I don't really know what it is.  It sounds like some test my doctor would recommend for me that I'd dread.  But apparently, it's something you can buy for yourself or a loved one at a deep discount these days.  I saw it on Groupon awhile ago as well.  Apparently, people will buy anything for themselves these days.  Especially if it's at a discount.

No worries loved ones, I'm not planning on buying this for anyone.  Except maybe for those on the Naughty List.

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

While we're on the subject of Sex and the City, this reminds me of one of my favorite episodes.  Holler if you know it offhand!

Going Back to My Roots

Remember when this blog used to have a ton of Sex and the City, Seinfeld, and Friends quotes?  Remember when this blog was updated fairly regularly?  Yeah, I know.

I thought I'd go back to the good old days.  I came across this one.  And I LOVE it.  It's definitely how I feel.

“I am someone who is  looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

While We're on the Subject of Crazy Online Dating Experiences....

Let me preface this message with the fact that I have the following in my profile:

a) you can form a coherent, grammatically correct sentence
b) you are looking for more than just a fling
c) you are an independent adult

I get the following message:

Sweetie, I've missed you in my life. I meet two of your requirements to contact you. I can form coherent and complete sentences, but they do run-on sometimes. Plus I am an independent adult. As for your other requirement, I don't meet that. What I want is a fling, someone to hold me and be naked with. I'd like it to be with you.

Yep.

Thanks for the honesty?

(Yes, of course, only on OKCupid.)

Deja Viewed Your Profile

Has anyone else noticed?

Ok - so it's no little secret, I've dabbled in some, ahem, online dating.  I've tried almost all of the major sites (not necessarily all at once).  Sure, each is different in its own way.  I've noticed, ahem, some overlap of 'clientelle'.

Of course I am guilty of this as well.  But it's kind of of funny.  One might think he or she is opening him or herself up to some new people by joining an additional site.  And this might be true, to an extent.  I'm curious the amount of 'unique users' each site has.

The funniest thing, however, is I personally have experienced several moments of 'deja vu'.  Or maybe 'deja viewed your profile'.  What amuses me the most (and I'm guilty of this as well), is that on every site, the people have the same user names and pictures.  When I was telling a friend about this, he commented that, well, it makes sense - it's the same single & looking people in the same city - it wouldn't really make sense if it was a completely different set of individuals.

I also remember once there was a guy I started talking to on one network.  I realized quickly that I just wasn't going to hit it off with him.  This may have been bad form on my part, but I just stopped responding (we hadn't even spoken on the phone or met in person).  He then messaged me on ANOTHER network, calling me out that I'd stopped responding on the first network, but he still wanted to keep talking to me.  I was weirded out and, needless to say, did not respond once again.

Do my fellow online daters have the same experience of dealing with the same people on every network?  Is there a point of being on multiple sites at once?  Does anyone else feel some 'people' are following them as aggressively as zappos remarketing?  (Sorry, lame search joke.)  Your thoughts?

That Time of Year

Happy Thanksgiving!

To Highlight or Not to Highlight

So I am thinking of revirginizing my hair.  Yep, that's right.  In the words of the immortal Britney Spears - my hair is not that innocent.

I believe at some point between sophomore and junior year of college, I started putting some color in and, well, it's a vicious cycle.  For the past three years or so, I've only done highlights.

I was reading in glamour magazine, I believe, that Amanda Seyfried was given some hair award (or some crap like that) and when she was asked what her secret was, she said she no longer puts any color in it - it's all natural.  She also mentions she only washed it every other day, which I just cannot bring myself to do (but this is a whole other can of worms entirely).

I've noticed I've been getting a lot of split ends lately, and quite a few sources have suggested that the color could be partially to blame.  That, and I am starting to question what the highlights really do for me.  A couple friends have suggested I wait until I actually really need to dye it (in other words, when it goes gray).

What do my readers think?  Do any of you have 'virgin' hair?  Are highlights, generally speaking, just a wash?  Have any of you gone back from the dyeing habit?  Does anyone else wash her hair every day?   Your thoughts? 

My Favorite Part of the Presidential Election

These Pictures.

You can count this as my last political post of the year.  We'll see if I break this rule.

McKayla is Not Impressed....

....with some random chick who is dressing as her for Halloween.

Sweet or Stalkerish?

A while ago, I wrote this post about a guy on Okcupid who has messaged me several times without anything remotely resembling a response from me.  I have now received message #4:

I must be a big idiot, cuz Im still trying here. I have no idea why Im even enamored with you, but I am. I must be a glutton for punishment or something. Either way...I would love a chance to chat with you and get to know you. Im sure that you still wont respond, but I gotta try with the hopes that youll respond...one day. LOL 

Mike

I can't say I saw anything in his profile that made me feel like he and I would hit it off, so I'll continue to ignore - but is this cute and sweet and what every girl really wants, or creepy and bizarre behavior?  

Diary of a Submissive Review

So as my readers know, I am part of BlogHer.  I am part of a compensated review program for the book "Diary of a Submissive" by Sophie Morgan.

Anyhow.  I signed up for this book because I was intrigued by this genre of literature, with that rather popular "50 Shades of Grey" out there (which I have not read).  I wanted to give this a try.   As I said, I don't have experience with this style of writing, so a part of me feels I'm judging not necessarily this book but this genre in general, which might not be fair.  It's as if I saw a rom-com and I'm judging not necessarily whether I liked the specific movie but if I like cheesy little love stories instead.

That being said - I am not sure this genre is, well, for me.  However, for the reasons listed above, I'll try to be as fair as possible.

A brief synopsis:  Sophie (the main character) is a well-adjusted, successful woman who had a pleasant childhood and is living a good life, however, she likes to be completely dominated in, ahem, the bedroom.  She gets very graphic in her detail of what happens - during her escapes with various men over the years, she experiences being spanked, slapped, paddled, and tied up to the point of excruciating pain.  She also finds herself in various situations where her hands are bound and drool is dripping down her face, or she's told, by the man she's involved with, to call him sir, to thank him for punishing her, etc.  And she likes it.  It turns her on.

Now, for me personally, although I understand 'to each her own', I cannot wrap my head around enjoying this.  Sophie comments on how she feels she hates the man she's with (at one point in the book, she's involved with a f*** buddy, at another point, a man she's interested in a relationship with), however, after it's all over, she's enjoyed herself and is happy.  For me personally, if the guy I'm, ahem, 'with', tells me to call him sir, I'd tell him to get out of my sight. Although I understand the point Sophie makes that she enjoys this and seeks this out - I wish she would have elaborated more on why, exactly, this turned her on and how she reconciles her personal relationship with these men afterward.  Although it may be hard to articulate, this would have been what was most interesting to me (instead of hearing that she was lashed exactly 109 times).

Anyhow, I'd say overall, I didn't enjoy reading something so sexually explicit, however, as I stated above, it's probably not fair to hold this against the writer since I knew what I was getting into.  I gave this genre a try with this book.  I did think the writer had a generally pleasant writing style.  It was easy to move quickly through the book; she held interest and was (ahem) very detailed in her descriptions.   I'd be up for reading something else by this writer (in a different genre).  

My Favorite Thus Far

I worry that if I go into politics, one day I might end up in a binder, in the hands of someone like Mitt Romney.

Music & Lyrics

The other day on the radio (on Eric & Kathy, duh), I heard an interesting statement:

"Happy people listen to the music, sad people listen to the lyrics."

I don't know about you, but I find this to be SO true.  I think maybe sad people are looking for comfort in the lyrics, either in the form of advice or in a 'misery loves company'-esque way.  I know there were hard times in my life when I've found comfort in music lyrics.

What are your thoughts?  Do you agree with this?  Is it fair for me to make certain assumptions about people who constantly post song lyrics in their facebook statuses?  

Well This is Sad....

One of my favorite and most entertaining websites, My Very Worst Date, is shutting down.  I feel the moderators & I understand their reasoning.  Thank you for many great (and some not so great) stories.  I'm glad I got my own story in before this site ended.

I must say - it's very very challenging keeping a website up & running....

Another Online Dating Adventure

So, I got an email on Match.com from a nice looking, normal seeming guy.  He wrote me a polite, grammatically correct message.  He seems to have ambition and have his life in order.  It appears as though he's a decently intelligent person with some respectable interests.  I was feeling excited; however, I got to the last line of the email:

"I'm not going to lie, I'm guessing, as a dancer, you have incredible legs, so I just wanted to say hello"

Is this creepy/weird, or just a little flirtatious?  Do I reply and give him a chance?  Has anyone else had an experience like this?  Your thoughts?  

A Brief Recap of Season 9 of SYTYCD

My favorite dancer is still Allison.

Anheuser Busch

I figured I'd have an educational, historical experience whilst in St. Louis for a good friend's wedding.

I was told that they have a rigorous quality control test at the Anheuser Busch facility.  In the instance some of their beer does not meet their standards, they simply 'send it up to Milwaukee'.

Ground Zero

These are the new buildings from the World Trade Center site.  America - we might get knocked down but we can sure get back up again!

Salary Requirements For Dating

So, as my readers know, I occasionally do some online dating.  Yadda.

I am currently a member with an active profile of, ahem, two major sites, however, I have hardly been active lately.  Yawn.  I hate dating.

Anyhow.  I was browsing through some older 'gentlemen' (not sugar daddies, keep your mind in a good place) - older than me, if you will.  Let's say the 35-40ish range.

I noticed a recurring pattern.  On one of the websites, men can check off boxes preferring certain salary ranges (women can too).  In my experience viewing profiles of these 'older' gentlemen (who probably wouldn't enjoy such a label) - often times they put a minimum salary requirement.

This begs a lot of questions.  As usual.  Do women often put a salary requirement?  How do men perceive it when women do?  Is there a difference here between the genders?  When men say they only want a woman who is 'slim and slender', it rubs me the wrong way on behalf of women, if you will.  I would think men might see it the same way when women post that they need 100k+.  In online dating profiles, are women wise enough to not 'show their cards' on this one?

I am not sure I really care much either way about men expressing this requirement.  I can understand that maybe these men are advanced in their careers and either a) want someone else who is invested in her career or b) are used to living a certain lifestyle of traveling and going out and want someone who can keep up with it or c) don't want to have to support someone financially and want to be up front about it, and ultimately, this salary minimum is their way of conveying that in their profile.  However, I must say, I saw at least several profiles that set the bar pretty high.  I consider myself a financially independent adult who lives a good quality of life, and, well, I would have been 'weeded out' by their minimum.

What are your thoughts re:online dating and being upfront about a salary minimum?  Should one be upfront about his or her preferences?  Are men of all ages concerned about their future mates' salary, or is it more specific to the 35+ crowd?  Has anyone else noticed this trend?

Time for a Seinfeld Quote

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

This weekend, there will be some Jaime public speaking.  If there's public documentation and it's not too horrible, I'll provide it afterward.  When I was younger, I would have TOTALLY freaked out about something like this.  Now, at this older, wiser, more confident place - I'm only quasi-freaking out.

Shoe Time!

Hello, lover!

I got these shoes at Zigi in New York.  Well, I'm saying 'these shoes', but there's only one in the picture.  You can safely assume he has a counterpart.  They are oxford style shoes, which are apparently big for fall.

This brings me to a point, which I'll get more into later - everything old is new again.  Isn't it crazy how fashion cycles like the seasons?  Oxford shoes are popular, flare jeans seem to have gone out of style, again, and skinny jeans are the thing now, like they were around a decade or so ago?  It makes me think I should never give anything away.  It'll just come back in style and have that extra 'vintage' glow.

I am also looking for a version of this baby in black & white.  Please advise if you know where I can find this future friend.

A Little Fourth Grade Humor....

An intersection in NYC.  For no particular reason.  No big deal.

In the Words of Betty White

"Facebook just sounds like a drag.  In my day, seeing pictures of people's vacations was considered punishment." ~ Betty White whilst hosting SNL

I've been out of town for two weeks.  Get ready to be punished!

Upcoming Travel

So, this is out of character for me, but in the next six weeks, I have FOUR (!!!) trips coming up.  I am super stoked.  One of them will be to San Francisco.

I will be there on my own over a weekend.  I'm a little weirded out about the idea of traveling alone, but it just so happened this way and I'm super pumped to see San Fran.  I'm now taking any/all suggestions on what to see and do while I'm there.  I'll probably do Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf, the Golden Gate Bridge, and, of course....

The Full House House.  Duh.  Like there are other choices.  #1 priority.

Any other recs, dear readers?

Olympics

So, I recently spent a lot of time watching the Olympics.  I am going to do my best to not use this as an excuse as to why I haven't been blogging (seeing that it wasn't simply at 16 day hiatus).

Anyhow.  I really love the olympics.  I don't know why I like them so much.  I even like watching sports that I would normally have no interest in watching if it were ANY OTHER COMPETITION.  It's almost a branding issue.  It's THE OLYMPICS!  I'll watch competitive paint drying, for goodness sake!

Regardless.  There's one thing that's hard to deal with in the Olympics.  The thought of the heartbreak.  All those who've worked so hard the previous four years (or their whole lives) who don't make the team.  Or make the team but then have a bad meet the day of competition.  Or those who are injured at just the wrong moment.  I feel for these peeps.  For everyone who wins, there are ton who end up unsatisfied.  Sigh.

Anyhow.  I am secretly glad to have several hours of my day and my weekends back.  Till the next four years!

Come Back, Ellen!

One of my very good friends, Ellen, just left the United States to go teach in Korea for a year.  I cannot believe it will be a whole entire year before I see her again.  I am sad.  I am supportive.  But I am sad.  We have really connected over the past two years.

Ellen will point out here that I can come visit her in Korea.  If anyone would like to donate to the 'send Jaime to Korea' fund, please contact me directly.

Struggling Blogger

So, as my (now few) loyal readers might have noticed, this blog is struggling.  Or perhaps, this blogger is struggling.  There has not been much posting lately.  This problem has been a bit consistent over time.

I'd like to blame life having gotten busy (which is true), but a) I have always been somewhat busy and b) we always cover our priorities.

Another issue that comes to mind is that I've been struggling to find material.  Some topics I used to write about I've lost interest in (politics), others I feel I've exhausted (dating).

It's not that this blog isn't a priority to me, and it's not that I don't care about it any more.  The best thing I can say to explain this situation is it's as if my blog and I are an old married couple that have hit a rough patch.  I still love my blog.  I still want it to continue.  But for some reason, the feeling I once had for it - the excitement - seems to be lost.

I would like to continue my relationship with my blog.  I hope to get it back.  An honest question, other bloggers - have you struggled in such a way?  What did you do to combat it?  Did you abandon ship/blogging?  I am not sure the average shelf-life of a blog, but I know it is probably shorter than this blog has lasted. Did you come back from a rough patch?  Your thoughts?

Shopping in the Juniors' Section

I just had a 'huh?' moment.

I was anticipating the Nordstrom anniversary sale (can you blame me), when I came to a crazy realization.  I shop in the juniors' section.

Not that there's anything wrong with this, necessarily, but I'm 29 years old.  When will I, you know, shop in the women's section?  I should think that, in theory, I'm there.... When is one too old for the juniors' section?

Do any of my dear readers also shop in the juniors' section?  Is this slang for something dirty that I don't know about?  Do you fellow twenty-something women shop in the juniors' section?  Should I graduate and move on? 

Addiction Problems?

So I have several friends who've 'quit facebook' recently.

In a couple incidents - I've asked said friends why, exactly, they quit good ole friendcentral.

"I've just been super-busy.  I haven't had the time for it."

or

"I had to quit.  It was too distracting."

Now, not to judge - but couldn't one just....not log in?

Again, no judgment.  I understand addictions.  I haven't been able to cut it under 3 cups of coffee a day. I understand addictions to facebook.  But, well....

Just sayin'.

A Recap of Jazzin' at the Shedd

they look kind of like mushrooms

these look like spaceships

spaceshroom!

penguins!

starfish (duh)

I went for the fourth of July.  Happy birthday, America!  It was lovely.  Nice, inexpensive entertainment and a good chance to see the good ole Shedd Aquarium on a weds night!  Highly recommended.  

Daily Funny

Stolen from freelance writing jobs' facebook page.

Not directed at my parents; I just found it amusing.

ANOTHER Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, another facebook pet peeve.  It's been a little bit.

I hate it when people comment on stuff that doesn't pertain to them.  One of my friends posted asking if anyone had a book recommendation.  "Oh, I don't have time to read.  I'm too busy chasing around my toddlers." - one 'friend' responded.  Uh, then why not just say nothing?  She wasn't singling you out and asking just you.  Do you go to product review pages and report "I've never used this, so I know nothing about it"?  Seriously.  If you're that 'busy', why are you commenting in random threads?

Anyhow.  I also hate it when people will jump into a facebook thread that is clearly something along the lines of an inside joke they are not a part of and ask 'what does this mean?'  Again, seriously.

Editor's sidenote:  Next time someone asks me for a book recommendation, I'm going to recommend facebook.  Or, this blog.

My Own Personal 'FU Autocorrect'

Speaks for itself.

My Personality, Per OKCupid

According to OKCupid and, well, the questions I answered - here is my personality:



Less geeky?

Other than that - your thoughts?  Accurate?  Not so much? 

Yes, jury, I answered a ridiculous amount of questions.

Aren't They Cute?

Yes, more shameless dog promotion.  How could I not be proud?  Whenever Louie (the bigger one) gets in a bed, Hailey goes and jumps in with him.  Normally, she climbs ON Lou and he ends up getting up and stomping away with a frustrated look of 'I just wanted to sleep'.  However, this time she seemed to 'not hog the covers', if you will.  Lou looked annoyed, but was apparently tired enough to let it slide.  Hailey was happy.  A girl just wants to cuddle sometimes.  Sidenote: look at how long her legs are!  She can (literally) put her foot  in her mouth!

I Had A Nightmare

So last night, I had a terrible nightmare.  I won't get into it, partially because I don't even want to think about it, partially because it was a dream so some parts of it don't make sense when explained.  Anyhow.  When I woke up, it took a couple seconds for me to realize the horrible things I'd thought happened didn't actually happen and that it was, indeed, just a dream.

The moment one realizes that a nightmare was just, indeed, a dream - is that the best moment, or the worst moment ever?  I'm debating.  I felt an extreme sense of relief, but also a little twinge of something else.  I'm not sure what - anger?  Trauma?  I don't know.  But I still feel a little shaken from it, even though it's been around 12 hours later.

Your thoughts?  That moment when you realize a nightmare was, indeed, just simply a dream and not reality - is that a good feeling or a quasi-bad one?

RE-jected

You know what is one of the worst things ever?  When I post something on facebook that I think is all clever and witty, and no ONE single person like or comments on it.  That is, quite frankly, one of the worst forms of rejection in the world.

I kid.  But in all seriousness.  They say getting rejected online (such as in online dating, or perhaps getting unfriended on facebook, etc.) is equally painful as face-to-face rejection.   And to think, people opt for online because it seems, well 'safer'.  Is that simply an illusion?  Do you all find your feelings equally hurt in online communication?  Your thoughts?

Toilet Paper?

I keep seeing these silly commercials for naming 'the cottonelle care routine'.

No offense, cottonelle - is anyone participating in this 'name the cottonelle care routine'?  Does anyone, well, care?  And what, exactly, is the 'cottonelle care routine'?  I ask this knowing I actually really don't want to know!

Sidenote:  from the above link, it appears that there are some that, well, care.

P.S.  'The freshy fresh'?  Seriously!?!

Bright Red Lips?

So, as you all know, one of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance, and it is back for season 9!  Get ready for some posts on the matter!  I'm sure you're all excited.

Anyhow.  One thing I notice is that one girl on the show with light blonde hair and a soft complexion always wears bright red lipstick.  Actually, it wasn't me who initially noticed it, but it was several of my facebook friends who pointed it out.  They noticed that, in one piece, she was forced (presumably, lol) to wear a different color to match her costume.   "Wasn't it weird to see her without her bright red lipstick?" they asked.  They are, apparently, not a fan of bright red lips.  Or, at least not, on her.  When I later watched the show (DVR'd), I, too, noticed her usually sporting bright red lips and it really jumped out at me in the one piece where she wasn't sporting them (perhaps some mind over matter came into play).

I remember having a friend who hated it when girls wore bright red lipstick.  I feel there's probably a good group of people in this world who seem to hate the look, or perhaps feel it's a little outdated (perhaps like blue eyeshadow, but then again, there's a market for the blue shadow too).

Anyhow - what's the general consensus on bright red lipstick?  Veto?  Only some can pull it off?  Go for it?

Well, I do not know offhand where I stand on this debate.  But there is one thing I do know.  I bought some.  Nars Norma, if you will (I assume it's Norma Jean/Marilyn being referenced).  I've only sported it a handful of times.  I don't wear it often because, well, there's nothing subtle about it.  Sometimes there's nothing subtle about me.  I'm not sure if I fall under the umbrella of 'can pull it off', but it's up to you, dear jury.

What are your thoughts on bright red lipstick?

An Online Dating Follow-Up

So a while back, I wrote this post.  A cliff notes version:  I a(n) (unbeknownst to me at the time) creepy guy online.  He winked, I winked back, he emailed.  I signed on, read the email, then figured I'd write him back the next day.  He then sent me a nasty email for not responding to him email right away.

Anyhow.  I think I might have also mentioned that I kept seeing him on the site, but under a different name.  I wondered if he had multiple accounts going.  Or, more realistically, if he kept getting reported for a concern, then creating a new account.

Well, it has happened.  His picture, under a new name (for those unfamiliar with how this online dating world works - one cannot change his/her name once it's been created, a whole new account needs to be created) has 'winked' at me.  Does he not recognize me? (Not that I think I'm that memorable, but he sure was upset at my actions.)  Is he going for some kind of reaction?  Is he simply there to harass people?  Am I reading too much into it and he just has no idea he's spoken to me before - he's just 'innocently' expressing interest?

Anyhow.  All I have to say is online dating has been an adventure.  I'm glad I've gained so many stories over the years.

It Happened Again.

Message #1

Hi there! How are you? So...what can I do to
get your attention? I want to explore every
avenue. Is there something that I can do
thats sure to put a smile on your face? If
there is, let me know, cuz I love it! Its one of
the cutest smiles ever!

Michael

Message #2

I sent you a message way back in December, around Christmas. I never heard back from you, so hopefully youre close to saying hello! I can feel it! Maybe youre at least kinda close! LOL! Dont fight it woman! Its dangerous to deny your self conscious. ;-)

Mike 

Message #3

Hi there! How are you? So...what can I do to
get your attention this time around? I want
to explore every avenue. Is there something,
please let me know, cuz I have tried to get your
attention once before and failed. By the way...you
have one of the cutest smiles ever!

Michael

WHAT is with guys doing this?  Btw, it happens on OKcupid.  Which I'm really not proud of.   As I mentioned before, there's other instances of it.  Do these guys think girls are gonna cave?  Are they all working in sales?  Do guys have success with this method?  Does this happen on any other dating sites?  I'd ask if other girls have had this experience, but I know they have from conversations re:this site.  Do girls do this to guys?  (mass repeatedly message without response)  And what, exactly, is his definition of 'self conscious'? (SIC)

An Official Mark Of Shame....

....if you can successfully correctly identify this logo.  Just sayin'.

AutoRenewals

Recently, I got an offer for 'try linkedin premium for free'.  I noticed in the fine print that it appears that this is one of those 'you will be autorenewed and your credit card will be automatically charged unless you go out of your way to opt out in advance' deals.  I know, ahem, some online dating sites I use are like that.  I also remember I had a free trial of amazon prime that did something of that nature - I wrote an email voicing my discontent & received a refund.  Also, recently, a friend of mine got a free trial of some vitamins that operates the same way.  

My question - why do companies do this?  I mean, I do get it.  They then get to charge for an extra month of whatever.  They decided the customer relationship continues - it might be an easier way to rope in customers that wouldn't go out of their way to 'opt in', but will let it continue out of laziness/indifference.  However, does anyone LIKE this business practice?  I find it annoying.  I'm guessing most people do.  I know, like I mentioned with amazon, in most instances, annoyed customers can get a refund when they did not want to be renewed and are shocked to discover a random charge on their credit card bill.  And if they cannot, usually the business can get an extra month or so of payment out of said individual, but then they lose the person as a customer for the long-term.  And, generally, I feel most people are annoyed by this practice, so it negatively impacts a customer's view point of the business, even if their pocketbook is not victimized in the end.  

What are your thoughts?  What are the benefits of the 'autorenew and automatically charge after a free trial' (or ending paid subscription)?  Are their any benefits for the customer?  Are there any customers out there that like this business practice?  

Name Spellings

So my good friend Ellen sent me this article that I found interesting - 13 signs that he'll be a bad partner.

I can't help but notice #8, which is near and dear to me.  I have a name that often gets misspelled.

There was a guy I went out with a handful of times a couple months ago.  He misspelled my name a couple of times in email/text, etc.  I definitely gave him my name (and spelled it correctly, obviously).  Needless to say, it didn't work out.

I am currently talking to someone I may go out with.  We have been texting.  You guessed it - he is spelling my name wrong.  Should I hold it against him?

Here's my thought - these people, in theory, are trying to put their best face forward.  Is this like a person applying for a job, but spelling the hiring manager, or even worse, the company's name wrong?  Is this what one wants from someone who is 'trying his best'?  Am I just being sensitive?  Should one date a person who spells her name wrong?  Your thoughts?

Online Dating Debacles, Take 856

Message #1

(I cannot locate it, but I assume it exists, based on message #2.  And the one thing I remember is I only deleted the REALLY bad ones.)

Message #2

Hi, 

I've attempted messaging you in the past, yet these sites are replete with immaturity and mailboxes are commonly filled with puerile innuendoes. The filtration process can be rather time consuming! 

Have you met any interesting people yet?


Message #3


Good morning, 

I've recently sent you a message. 
Did you receive it? 


I have not replied once.  Let's see how long he keeps going....  If there ends up being more, I will surely update you dear readers.  


Perhaps I shall do a post on the phenomenon of those who repeatedly message the same people on online dating sites without response.  They're out there.  


P.S.  Someone please comment on his vocabulary.

The Silent Treatment, Part 2

So earlier today in cosmo (my bible, as Jay Leno would say), I read an article about what to do when one's man gives 'the silent treatment'.

This raised quite a few questions for me.  Do men give the silent treatment?  I just thought they got into bad moods on occasions.  I didn't think they went out of their way to be 'SO not talking to you'.  I thought that was primarily a woman's domain.  Anyhow.

This article went on to address 'the best ways to react to the silent treatment'.  This leads to the ultimate question - what is the best way to handle receiving 'the silent treatment'?  Whenever someone is giving it to me, I have a tendency to completely ignore it because I think it's childish (one should address the problem directly if something is upsetting him/her).  

However, I can think of a time in somewhat recent history when I gave someone the silent treatment (yes, I hear and see the extreme hypocrisy) and it worked out getting the end result I was looking for.  I can also think of a time quite a few years ago when someone I cared about was clearly upset with something to do with me, and, for the reasons stated earlier, I chose to ignore it; and now, said person and I are no longer speaking.

What are your thoughts?  Is the silent treatment effective?  Is it a good means of handling a situation?  Do you use it?  What is the best way to react to the silent treatment?  

Happy Birthday?

Something I always wondered.

How good of a birthday is it if it is spent responding to facebook birthday greetings?

Just wondering.  No judgment.  Been there.

Is Anyone Else Even Trying?

Maybe I should cheer because the home team is on a winning streak?

Just For Fun

The dox said it best.

Letting Go

So, thanks to Pandora, I have come across the song "Letting Go" by Casados.  I LOVE it.  it has a really sweet sound and nice meaningful lyrics.  The singers' voices have a nice melodic sound as well.

I have never heard this song outside Pandora and I have never heard mention of this band anywhere.  I decided to do some 'internet research' on the matter.

I discovered there were quite a few other people in my exact shoes - they mentioned they loved the song but only knew of it because of Pandora.  They wanted to know more.  What are the lyrics?  Who is this band?  Why is this song on XXX pandora station?   Why this song, and not their others?  (presuming they have created more than just one song).

Now, first off, let me say I found this to be a bit of an 'odd fit' for the station I found this on.  That being said, I've noticed a certain frequency of some songs/artists (I know there's a counter argument that this is simply based on what I've "liked".)  However, I assume Pandora to be a 'for profit' organization.  Are there certain artists that have 'agreements' with Pandora?  I assume for every song/artist I discover through Pandora, there must be a ton more that I'm not familiar with that I'm NOT hearing.

Is there a certain reason for "high frequency" artists?  For example, I know offhand I constantly come across "The Bravery" (whom I also do not hear of outside Pandora) and The Strokes (whom I do know of, but don't hear all that much in the mainstream).  I know a couple other Pandora users who have mentioned also constantly encountering these two bands.

Does anyone fully know how Pandora works?  Does anyone have an explanation for why some artists appear a lot and some artists rarely/never do (not that I can cite a specific example here) aside from "this is similar to what I've stated I like"?  Does anyone else love Casados?  Does anyone else know of the band from something besides Pandora?  Are they coming to Chicago for a concert any time soon?  Do they have any other great songs, or are they simply a one "hit" wonder?   What are some "high-frequency" artists you all experience?  

Personal Ads

The other day I was watching Jay Leno's headlines (my favorite).  He happened to pull up one that was a 'personal ad'.

This left me with a lot of questions.  Do people still place personal ads?  Is this the match.com for the 50+ crowd?  Do any SEMI-NORMAL people use the personal ads?  Has anyone ever called on a personal ad?  Has anyone SEMi-NORMAL called on a personal ad?  Does anyone know a "normal" couple that met through a personal ad?

That being said, I know quite a few what I'll call "normal" couples that met in some unconventional quasi-weird way.  In other words, not at a bar, at a party, through friends, at work, or on a "normal" online dating site.

Does anyone know anyone who has ever placed or called on a personal ad?  Would any of my readers ever consider it?  Do any of my readers know a "normal" couple that met in a very "weird" way?  Your thoughts?

New Jargon

So, the other day, one of my commenters introduced me to some new jargon. (Thanks, Marek.)

FWIW

I had to google. Apparently, it stands for 'for what it's worth' or 'for whoever is wondering'.  (Which did you mean, Marek?) I hadn't heard it used before, but there were quite a few search results. Apparently it's already caught on. I'm glad to now be in the loop. And since you've read this post, you are now as well. You're welcome.

The Best Thing About Facebook

Ok, I know I've been through this before.  And I know all my readers probably think I'm, ahem, obsessed with facebook.  (I take the fifth on this one.)  But I think I've officially decided upon the best thing about facebook.  And it's not, as Seth Meyers so aptly said, watching one's high school friends slowly get fat.

The best thing about Facebook is...drumroll please...consumer reports.

Recently, my cable bill with rcn went up. I contemplated, for a moment, switching to Comcast. However, I seemed to think that I'd seen some negative statuses (stati?) about Comcast and Comcast customer service.

"Has anyone out there had a good customer service experience with Comcast?" I asked. Former coworkers, fellow dance students, and high school and college classmates all weighed in.

I've seen quite a few 'stati's like this in my feed. 'iPhone or android?' 'kindle or nook?' 'fitbit or striiv?'

It's also a great forum to gather others' stories. I'm friends with several journalists. I've seen them post asking about if anyone has any experience with a certain situation. My former journalist self is jealous that this wasn't around years ago - it's an easy way to gather quotes.

Anyhow. In short, what I love best about the 'book is that it can be a giant forum for gathering (presumably) honest reviews and information.  What are your fave things about the book?

Coffee Withdrawals

So, for reasons, ahem, better left unsaid, a doctor told me recently to cut back on my coffee intake.

I was in his office discussing, ahem, personal concerns.

"Let me ask you this," he said.  "How much caffeine do you drink?"

"Umm.  A lot.  Probably more than I should."

"How much is a lot?"

"Umm, around 4-5 cups of coffee a day."  (Approximately two pops a day omitted - I was going to mention them, but his eyes already got huge with shock.)

"That amount of caffeine wouldn't be good for anyone," he said very seriously.

He wants me to cut back to 1-2 cups a day.  I am right now working down to 3.  Baby steps.

I rand this by a facebook audience.  Some were equally appalled by my intake.  Others said 'pssh, I drink that much, screw the doc.'

I am in the process of trying to listen to my doctor.  What are your thoughts?  Do any of my fellow readers drink this much Joe?  Anyone have any good tips on getting off the caffeine addiction?  Every day I'm dragging by 9pm and falling asleep on the couch.  I don't have to wake up early for work, so I don't, in general.  So I am very well-rested and exhausted and dragging, all at the same time.

Anyone else struggle with vices?

Spelling Bees & Childhood Trauma

So the other day, I was talking to someone about another person who is going through a rough time, but he is a quiet person who is not overly emotional, so it is getting forgotten.  Now, I immediately feel for this person because I am not necessarily vocal about my emotions.

This reminded me of a personal experience.  I was in the fourth grade.  I was one of two representatives for my class for the spelling bee.  I will protect the not-so-innocent and not mention anyone in this story by name, despite the fact that I really, really want to.  I can only imagine this other individual doing a quick google search of himself and seeing himself exposed for this not-so-shining moment.... Anyhow.

In short, both the other representative and I got eliminated and did not go on to win the bee.  I held it together like the mature composed serious young woman that I was.  This other individual did not.  I remember lots of crying (we're talking hysterical sobs) and the rest of the afternoon was dedicated to making this individual feel better.  We all got homework (myself included) to do something to make him feel better the next day (make a poster, bring in a snack, etc.).

The next day we had a huge party for him.  There were banners, there were balloons, there cookies galore!  I remember there was one tiny sign that said 'Good work, Jaime!' - I guess someone remembered I'd participated in the bee as well.  I remember thinking this was largely unfair.  It wasn't that I wanted this big fest for my own swing-and-a-miss, or even that I was upset about not winning.  And, what about all the other students in the class (who didn't even qualify for the spelling bee in the first place)?  Weren't we all equally failures?  How come the one person who was being all loud and emotional was getting all the attention and celebration?

I know they say 'the squeaky wheel gets the oil', but is that really fair in life?  I can't help but think that sometimes people like me, who aren't overtly emotional, at times have their feelings forgotten.  Is anyone else out there like me and feel this way?  Has anyone else had a similar experience of being forgotten because he or she was not throwing a hissy fit? I know I've had some friends say to be more vocal about my emotions at times, but it's just not my nature.  Your thoughts?  

Recurring Nightmare

I know everyone has them.  I had one other other night.

In this specific dream, I was trying to complete a simple task (check if my dance class was canceled on its website).   In this dream, I thought class was canceled, so I wasn't planning on going, but then my friend Rachel texted me saying she thought it wasn't canceled.  It was right at the time I would have needed to leave, and I wasn't dressed or ready.  So, I began a race against the clock trying to check online if it was canceled.  However, I kept having simple little problems.  I was mistyping the website.  Then I was clicking and it wasn't going through.  Then my phone froze.  Then, finally, in a flurry of frustration, I woke up.

However, in my constant recurring nightmares, I am trying to complete a simple task (like change the channel on the tv or put on a sweater) and I, for some reason, can't.  I keep running into roadblocks.

Does anyone else have this kind of recurring nightmare?  What do you all have for recurring nightmares?  Naked in public dreams?  (I used to have those too.)   Is one of your nightmares that this blog turns back into 'Jaime's dream analysis'?  Don't answer that.  

The FitBit Challenge

So, through my work, I received a 'FitBit'.  My entire company is part of a 'FitBit' challenge   This handy dandy little device measures my daily steps, miles traveled, calories burned, stairs climbed, and general activeness.  Additionally, it sends me happy little messages.  Gooooooaal Jaime!  Stepgeek Jaime!  Hug me Jaime!  Walk me Jaime!  Sometimes, when I'm peeing and it says 'Faster, Jaime!', it freaks me out!

Anyhow.  I think it's really quite accurate at noticing when I'm active vs. when I'm not.  Some days, when I feel like I've done nothing, well, it reaffirms it to me.  It lets me know I've barely burned any calories and hardly moved.  Not what I wanted to hear, but sometimes we all need a reality check, right?  I feel it's succeeded in motivating me to get up and move on those days when, otherwise, I would have been content with nothing.  I am liking this fun little device.

Update to come at the end of this challenge.

Traditional & Predictable

Snoopy Mother's Day!

Gratuitous Hailey Pics

stretched out in bed

climbing into the bowl to eat

sleepy times

napping on mom's lap (this shows her size well)

next to big brother Lou 

(the jury is still out on his feelings toward her)