Sexism & Singlehood

Ok - so my nameless friend (and Marek) bring up the excellent point of sexism. This is, indeed, a sexist way of thinking.

Why is it that women are expected to pair up by a certain age, and viewed as a failure if they don't, while men aren't subjected to the same double-standard? (Note nameless's Clooney-Aniston comparison.) Why is it that men aren't advised 'marry her! she's good enough! she's the best you're ever gonna get!' (by anyone other than their mothers, that is....)? In fact, if a man seems to remain a bachelor for a while, then one day decides he should settle down, he's not criticized for having passed up a chance with a great girl but rather he's simply advised to 'date younger'.

That, and bringing up the movie analogy my good friend suggested (which I know I've blogged about before...). So why is it ALWAYS that we've got the hot girl and average joe paired up in movies?! I don't know why it bothers me so much, because I honestly don't view myself as a superficial person and I really can't say looks matter all that much to me, but it really really does. Well, in the reference my friend makes - Katherine Heigl & Seth Rogen in 'Knocked Up' - it's not as though Seth Rogen's character is average looking but the great humanitarian/family man on the fast track to success - according to my recollection, he's an unemployed pot smoker who enjoys watching porn on a daily basis.

I think my main annoyance with this subject is that I feel women are portayed as 'prizes' as opposed to equals in this ever recurring storyline. Here's a storyline I'd like to hear - Average Joe passes up the opportunity to be with some superhot leading lady for Average Jane with whom he has a lot in common and a strong emotional connection. It annoys me that it's completely socially acceptable for men to be blatantly superficial in picking a partner, however, if a woman rules out a man because she's not attracted to him/doesn't feel the chemistry, she is ripped apart.

Anyhow. I am not sure, necessarily, what I wanted to address in this post, but it seemed too long to simply be a comment. Is anyone else annoyed at the constant storyline of Average Joe getting the hot girl (whose role is simply being 'a hot girl')? Anyone else frustrated that women are criticized for being single? Can anyone think of some good examples/arguments I'm missing?

Traditions I Don't Like....

When the guy asks the girl's dad for her hand in marriage.

Now, don't get me wrong, this tradition is fine for others. I'm not criticizing other couples for having done it this way. However, I will not be having it.

First off, if I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with a guy, that's my decision and my decision alone (I get it that the asking of the dad is in addition to, not instead of asking the woman, but still). I know a lot of girls who have said they will be very upset if the guy does not ask her father. They feel it's tradition and it's cute and charming and will make the whole family happy. Fine for them. Not for me.

Second - the Jessie Spano in me does feel there's a slightly sexist component to this tradition. I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing this originated in a place where dowries were the thing and a man's wife was considered his 'property'. Why the father? Why not both the parents?! What is the old-fasioned thought at the base of this? One man has owned me thus far, now another man is asking to take me over, in a business-like transaction (in the same way one would buy or sell of a piece of a company to another)?

Perhaps a man sitting down both my parents asking them for my hand in marriage is a little more settling to me, but still, I am not a minor. It is my decision to make and their vote in the matter, is, in theory, moot point. Sure, if my parents really didn't want the guy I was dating in our family, it might affect my opinion, but if I had my heart set on him, it would not.

Anyhow. I know there's a lot of room for debate on a lot of these points and that some people just see this as cute/traditional/harmless. And, I suppose, it is all in the eye of the beholder. However, for me personally, as I said earlier - I will not be having it. If a guy were to ask my father, it would be an automatic no on my end. It would show to me that this guy doesn't really know me. It would also say that he cares more about following some soceital tradition than making me happy, which is a red flag to anyone. Actually, it would pretty much say he doesn't care about flat out pissing me off at a moment when he is supposed to be going out of his way to charm me and win me over.

However, as I said earlier, I know several girls who will be very upset/disappointed if their guy does not ask his future father-in-law's permission. Your thoughts? Does anyone else feel the same way I do on this tradition? Are there any other Jessie Spanos out there?