Happy Halloween!

Getting Out All of the Political Posts Before Election Day

So, if, on Tuesday, I vote for one of the two major party candidates (it's not looking very promising right now), I would choose, of those two utterly awful tickets, Obama/Biden. And I wouldn't be voting FOR Obama, I'd be voting AGAINST McCain/Palin. A vote is a vote is a vote - no mater how enthusiastic or unenthusiastic - it counts for the same amount.

I don't really know why Obama bothers me so much. In the entire past two years of this campaign, I have not been able to figure this out. (Sorry to 90% of my blog readers/Obama fanatics.) I think it's the fact that so many people keep trying to tell me that "just you wait Jaime - he's going to CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!"

Not everyone who has the ability to inspire have actually been able to effect a positive change. Obama's been inspiring, etc., for the past year and a half - and has this movement he's evoked actually accomplished something? (Don't tell me 'it got young people interested in politics' - he's mainly gotten them to CAMPAIGN FOR HIM, as opposed to improving anything - I suppose it's the rallying of the lemmings, not where they're actually lead, that matters to some.)

The other day I read a letter to the editor in my favorite newspaper. I don't remember the exact words, but it was something to the extent to 'Illinois is so messed up - our corrupt politicians, broken economy, etc. We need Obama! Oh wait, we already have him....' I couldn't have summed up my feelings better myself.

Again, to my loyal readers/Obamaists - I'm sorry. But man, I had to say it!

Is Anyone Self-Proclaimed 'Corporate Material'?

So, I'm reading a book called "Slackonomics" which lists a lot of observations about "Generation X".  There's an entire chapter dedicated to the fact that many young adults, throughout the late '80s to the present, have declared themselves "not the 'Corporate America' type".

I find this amusing because almost EVERY FRIEND I have has declared him or herself as such!  I  have quite a few friends who have gone back to grad school to get out of Corporate America and into the school system or some other 'non-corporate' field of work.  Aside from them, I have a lot of friends who are working corporate jobs and feel 'misplaced'.  

Here is my question - is anyone out there 'the Corporate America' type?  Or, more simply, does anyone consider him or herself 'Corporate America material'?  Also, realistically speaking, there are however many corporate careers and there are only so many non-corporate jobs out there - someone's going to need to do the corporate jobs and some of the 'non-corporate' people are going to be out of work (or forced into Corporate America, which some people might say is what is happening now).  

Also, what, exactly, do these people define Corporate America as?  Is it every job outside of self-employment, the arts or the educational system?   Is it really the nature of corporate jobs, or is it just some stigma associated with them (being stuck in a cubicle dead-end job under florescent lighting doing the same monotonous tasks without any creativity)?   

Another point the author brought up was back in the late '80s and early '90s, people did things that went against the mainstream and called it 'alternative'.  Soon alternative became the norm.  Will Corporate America become the alternative career choice?  (and possibly become more appealing in the process?)  What are your thoughts?

I Love the Pharmaceutical Industry's Sense of Humor

If the light stays on for more than four hours, call an electrician immediately.

Help!!

Where might I get a McCain/Palin pin?  Or a flag pin?  I tried the grocery store and Walgreens with no luck.   Where do people get political things like this?  I need to buy it tomorrow - I dropped the ball on this one (so ordering online is not an option...).

Still Relevant

I was 'yahooing' myself (don't comment), and I found a snippet of an article I wrote back in my budding journalism days (a.k.a. sophomore year of college).

Illinois Economy

I wonder if anyone would notice if I performed a quick 'find/replace' of 2002/2008 and reprinted it....

P.S.  Yes, my story has been archived in some database.  You can be supercool and buy it!!

In Case You Are Wondering....

Gee, what's Jaime going to blog about after the election is over?

Fear not, I have some alternate topics in mind.

That, and we'll have a lame duck Bush.    There will only be some seventy-something days left to make fun of him while he's in office, and let's face it, I've really been holding back.

Today, On the Homepage of Amazon.com

I am not alone in my feelings.  Time for a write-in.

Facebook Pet Peeves

The first in what I am sure will turn out to be a series of rants.  Today I will focus mostly on facebook photo pet peeves.

1)  "Couples" pictures.  Ugh.  It's supposed to be a picture of YOU, the owner of the profile.   Don't get me wrong, it's not to begrudge one of his or her happy couple status - one is more than welcome to tell the world he or she is in a happy relationship in the 'relationship status' and even the 'about me' section.  But seriously.  (I guess maybe someone like me, with a unisex name, can see greater potential problems.)  Also, not to mention the 'gag me with a shovel' effect couples pictures have - which is undeniably present.

2)  Baby pictures.  Now, don't get me wrong.  You sure were cute as a kid.  Well, maybe.  At least, you may have been cuter as a kid than you are now.  I feel for you.  Really, I do.  However, what started out one person's cute little idea spread like gossip through a high school locker room - EVERYONE is suddenly doing it.  That, and let's be honest - no one is all that awed by how cute of a kid you were, sans your parents.  And they probably (hopefully) aren't looking at your facebook page.  And the general facebook community probably just looks and thinks 'hey, it's you when you were younger'.   

3)  Glamour shots.  SERIOUSLY.  It's supposed to be a reasonably accurate picture of you.  What good does it do to feature an overly photoshopped/angled/misleading picture of yourself?   Even if it's going to lead you to meeting the man/woman of your dreams, he or she is going to see you in real life (presumably) at some point.   

4)  Political jokes/sports cartoons/etc.  Not that there's anything seriously wrong with this - there are just other places for it.   The section for a photo of you is supposed to be exactly that.

To be continued....

Jessie! No! Those Pills are Dangerous!

So, I have an unnamed friend who is a high school math teacher.  This past week, said teacher was working a problem with her students from her text book.  In the problem, there were two plants and a sprinkler - the object of the problem was to figure out where to place the sprinkler between the plants in order to make sure they both get the same amount of water. 

The name of the problem was "Equally Wet".

The problem appeared on, you guessed it, page 69.

I gotta give props to whoever edited this textbook.  He or she really had a strong appreciation for how the minds of high school students work.  

Sorry

I was at a cabin in Michigan.  I know I am due.  I thank you for visiting anyway.

Summoned to Duty....

So recently, I got a message from a good friend saying something to the extent of "I broke up with (longtime boyfriend).  If I possibly consider getting back together with him, please come knock some sense into me".

Now, I've been summoned to the duty of "break-up buddy" many many MANY times in my life.  I have always given the job 100% dedication.  I have never faltered on insisting that said friend should NOT get back together or casually hook up with said ex (and I have always believed so 100% in my heart).  I have never failed to remind the friend not only of small pet peeves but also of large scale character and relationship flaws that most likely have not and will not change.   I have been tough as nails. 

However, all too often, said friend has ended up at least backsliding at one point.  Said friend has become all hopeful that said ex is the most wonderful person in the world (believe me, NONE of my friends' exes came even close).   In fact, often, said friend LIES to me about her backslide.

I want to be a good breakup buddy.  And I have surely tried my hardest.  Have I failed?  (I feel like I have, each and every time.)   What can be done to keep the friend from going back to and hooking up with the jerk?  Has anyone out there been a truly successful break-up buddy?  Can one be a successful break-up buddy?  How?  

I am currently on duty and I know I will be summoned to duty again soon.  I want to do a good job.  Help.

Another Pet Peeve

Tapas Restaurants.  The WHOLE concept of them.  

Maybe it's not that they exist.  Maybe it's that I know too many people who like them and want to go to them.  In fact, I think there's a conspiracy amongst men - EVERY man I've been asked out by over the past three years has suggested "tapas".  

Yes, it's true, I DON'T like sharing food.  (Insert comment about only children here.)  Actually, it's not that I don't like sharing food - it's more that when I go out to eat, I want to pick the specific meal that I want and enjoy THAT meal (not a teeny tiny part of it).  

At tapas, you kind of have to think of what everyone wants to eat, not just yourself.  I have obscure tastes (I like spicy food, which not everyone enjoys).  Also, I like to doctor my food.   At tapas restaurants, it seems like you have to pick something generic as opposed to what you really want so it's something everyone likes.  I kind of feel like this is like when one person wants the red couch and the other wants the blue couch, so they compromise with the green couch and no one is happy.  Also, if there's something really good, you can only take a little bit of it.  

I guess I don't understand everyone else's love of these style restaurants.  I guess I don't really like 'family style' restaurants, in general.  I just want to pick what I want and have that.   Am I alone in this?

George W. Bush, is that you? With Lipstick?

And I thought Dick Cheney abused power....

Clarification: The VP is 'President of the Senate' per the constitution, but it's really just in the situation of a tied vote (the VP breaks the tie). So to be lenient, we should excuse her 'in charge of the senate line' - however, the line she goes on to clarify ('really get in there and affect policy') is, well, what's that word....wrong?

Something I Enjoy But Others Might Not

Ok, I don't agree with everything on this and some parts might be a bit extreme.  However, there are some parts I love.

I think my personal favorite is "I'm a nice guy, why don't I get any?", because I've definitely heard men stone cold seriously say this.  As if women somehow owe them something because they are 'nice' to them.  

More Restaurant Annoyances

Ok, so lately I've noticed almost every time I've gone out to dinner, sometimes with small parties, sometimes with large parties, the servers no longer write down orders but rather have taken to awing us with magic of memorization.

Let me just say one thing:  I'm not.  (Awed, that is.)

Two things.  1)  I was a server for four years.  2)  I have a phenomenal memory.  I realize this line sounds somewhat conceited, but pretty much EVERYONE I know will vouch for this.  I will forget small silly things like someone telling me what he or she is doing over the weekend, but I can remember some absurd minor details for years.  

That being said....I was never comfortable with the 'memorizing the order' notion.  I do not feel confident that I could perform said skill with 100% accuracy.  There are too many customers, too many modifications (no onions, fries instead, etc.).   And although there might be some out there who, you could say, are possibly better servers with better memories - I find it hard to believe that, generally speaking, every other server could do this with a very high level of accuracy.  

Anyhow, I think this just annoys me because it's meant to be impressive, but quite frankly, for me, it has the adverse effect.  I like my food the way I order it.  When I see someone write my order down, I feel confident.  

However, seeing these servers try to show off their memory is kind of like watching someone juggling balls of fire and arm's length away - regardless of it being a 'cool trick', it makes me nervous.   The whole time period between placing my order and getting my food is twenty to thirty minutes of anxiety for me.  If tipping is performance based - this merits a deduction in my book.  

Getting Corporate

So, my mom ordered something from a company and got and e-mail back from them saying this:

So, with no further ado:

Marcia's critique:

Hi sweetie,

If you talk about them on your blog (you don't have to - doesn't matter) I can tell you that they have really fast service.  This is the second order I am placing w/them and their matlow dairy coffee candy is one of the best coffee candies i've had.

Ok, that's all.

Love,

Mom

Good Job, Mr. McCain....

It's never too late for a career in stand-up comedy....

Two Shoutouts!

To Ellen's group of friends, who were on the mass e-mail this past Monday.  Welcome to my humble internet abode.

Also, to a group known simply as "All Arms".  Only you and I know what happened at Redmond's that night.  

New Dancing With The Stars Contestants

Thank you Jeannine!

Random Statistic I Found in my Glamour Magazine

'The typical student today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s did."  (From the article "How Stressed Are You?")

Drinking Games for the Final Presidential Debate, Part II

Who could have possibly seen the curveball better known as "Joe the Plumber" coming?

Drinking Games for the Final Presidential Debate

Since the two candidates have completely and utterly exhausted the previous catch-phrases, I'm going with the commentators using "game-changer".  

Freaky!!!

So I was just on stalkerbook and I found out that a girl I knew from high school's YOUNGER BROTHER who is, I believe, 23 years old (!!!) has a book that's been published and available on amazon.com!!!!!!!

There are not words for how I feel right now.  I think I finally understand how other girls feel when they are freaking out that someone random from high school is engaged or already married. 

(Sincere apologies for mocking said aforementioned girls for feeling such a way.)

Looking for....

...something non-political to blog about. I'll be back with you shortly.


How's this for a short post, Ana?

VOTE!?!?!

Ok, it's that time - election year - when everywhere you look there's some sign or ad or crazy person telling EVERYONE TO VOTE.  

My two questions:  who came up with this campaign and was he or she thinking at the time?

Everyone seems to be blindly screaming at anyone and everyone to vote.  I've gotten random emails from all kinds of random acquaintances urging everyone to register to vote.  What is it these people are trying to accomplish?  

Now, don't get me wrong, I DO believe in a democracy and I'm not saying anyone SHOULDN'T have the right to vote.  However, I do believe that with something this important, it'd be best if 100% of the participating voters are educated and informed.

People who can't identify the USA on a map (apparently one in five Americans....), people who can't identify the four names on the major party tickets, nevermind what the different between a democrats and republicans - we want THESE people tipping the scales in swing states?  We want these people deciding the election?  We want these people canceling the votes of passionate informed voters?!?!

Truth be told, not all Americans care about politics.  Which, I guess, is our right as Americans to be ignorant.  However, taking that into consideration, maybe fewer voters would be a solution to our 'broken' political system.  America's most ignorant shouldn't be the deciding factor in one of America's most important decisions....

I don't believe these 'potential new voters' are taking more of an interest in politics, doing research on the candidate's records and stances on the issues, paying attention to current events, etc., I believe they are continuing to be just as ignorant yet now going to the voting booths. 

Maybe the campaign slogan shouldn't be 'VOTE' but rather 'CARE'.  

For Ellen, Because I Think She Will Like These

Hmm....

I am wondering what it is I can do to attract more readers to this blog.   Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the readers I have - I just want more of them.

Do I need better advertising?  I have the link on facebook and myspace...where else can I put it?  I certainly talk about this blog plenty, so that can't be it.  

What could make this blog more appealing?  More posts?  Fewer posts - only posts of high quality?  

Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Dianetics Update, Cont'd.

As I'm sure most of my readers know by now, I am being stalked by the Chicago Dianetics Society. Normally I get a different Dianetics e-mail every couple weeks, but lately I've gotten the same one regularly. I wonder what it means in my life....

The unconscious, subconscious or reactive mind underlies and enslaves man

LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR REACTIVE MIND

Buy and read Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health by L. Ron Hubbard

It contains discoveries heralded as greater than the wheel or fire. Available at your local bookstore

HMM....

It's Been a While Since the Last Book Review....

So I recently finished the book "Dear Zoe" by Philip Beard - it only took me four days. In a word, excellent.

It is very brief and to the point (only a little under 200 pages). It was actually written by a man from the perspective of a teenage girl (although it was more from the perspective of a human than a woman, per se). I think he did a very good job - he didn't go in-depth on the trials and tribulations of being an adolescent woman but moreso on the struggle of her and her family after losing the youngest sister on 9/11/01 in a separate accident.

Anyhow, in a short period of time, he really crafted some interesting and highly believeable characters. I don't really know how to describe how he did it so well all that well, but he just did. It was fiction but not boring, predictable, generic, or over-dramatic. And it appears as though most everyone on amazon.com agrees with me.

Anyhow, kind of embarrassing. I am NOT an emotional person. I honestly cannot remember ever crying at a book or movie (Titanic, Romeo and Juliet, or any of the other traditional tearjerkers didn't do it for me). In fact, normally these types that try too hard to go for the emotional factor just make me want to groan and roll my eyes. However, something about this book got to me.

Not a big deal, ONLY I was reading it on the el while packed in like a sardine ON THE WAY TO WORK. I was, for a moment, one of THOSE GIRLS. I'm sure the people around me wondered what had happened to me this morning (if they read the book, they might understand). Em, THIS is why they make waterproof mascara. Anyhow, I get to work before almost everyone else I work with, so I was able to do enough damage control in the necessary amount of time. Crisis averted.

In fact, I'm going to have to cut this post short because I'm writing it in a public place right now - work - and thinking about this book is starting to get to me again.

Anyhow. Move along, nothing to see here.

Filters....

Ok, as I see it, there are some things women should only talk about with other women and men should only talk about with other men.   For example, I, as a woman, discuss issues such as shoe sales, nailpolish, and menstrual cramps only with other women (for the most part - aside from the fact that I just mentioned it here in this public blog).  

However, lately, most men I have met HAVE NOT used said filters.  I realize men discuss both bodily functions and their sexual interests at times, however, I think I can speak for a good amount of women when I say we don't want to hear about it!!  Know your audience!

Maybe it's just me.  Maybe it's a certain level of comfort that implies certain conversation can come into play - it can't.  We women are no less offended by this than you are offended by certain topics of discussion women bring up.  It's that old simple rule that you can't talk about everything with everyone - there's times you gotta filter things.  

All I know is that the next time I receive TMI from a guy, I'm going to begin discussing the pros and cons of various tampon brands.  And I, unfortunately, have a feeling that will be very soon.  

Drinking Games for the Campaign Advertising Tactics....

Every time it seems like we need an elementary school principal to pull John McCain and Barack Obama out of the sandbox and separate each other - maybe there will be a 'time-out' for both of them involved...or at least perhaps a time-out for the American people....

Drinking Games for Tonight's Debate

Including, but not limited to:

--Barack Obama throwing out George Bush's name
--McCain referring to him 'sounding the horn' on Fannie and Freddie years ago
--All previous drinking games (change, my friends, maverick, pork barrel spending)
--Main Street vs. Wall Street
--Out of touch
--Doesn't seem to understand
--Raising taxes
--Washington insiders
--Let's be clear
--Teetering on the brink

Let's see if a clear winner emerges tonight....amongst the drinking games, that is.

Optimism?

Ok, I like to consider myself an optimistic person (who doesn't?).  However, lately, I've gotten to thinking....

What is the opposite of optimism?  Is it pessimism?  Per the dictionary, perhaps.  However, does anyone actually consider him or herself a pessimist?  Probably not admittedly.  Hmm.  What would be the next thing over from a pessimist?  A cynic!?!?  Does anyone see where I'm going with this one?

Although I am ALL for cynicism, perhaps there should be a bit of limit on it.  I like to consider myself not negative but realistic (but isn't that what all pessimists say?  'I'm just being realistic'). I think reality is important because it is persistent whether or not people choose to acknowledge it.   

Also, one shouldn't be unrealistically positive and flowery at a time when perhaps someone needs to acknowledge how bad things are so he or she can take action (there's a reason admitting you have a problem is considered step one on the road to recovery, whereas overoptimistic denial is nowhere on that last).  Also, I think at times cynicism protects us all - it causes us to take that extra step in questioning the intentions of others and the possible negative outcome of a situation.  However, lately, have I crossed the line into the territory of a negative, angry person?  

You don't have to answer that.  In fact, please don't.  

Now, I certainly can't be one of those optimists who pretends every thing's all right when it's not - I have known one too many people like this in my life and they drive me absolutely nuts.   I like to think blissful ignorance and optimism are two separate things.   

However, maybe I do need to be a little more optimistic and hopeful.  This might be a challenge for me, but let's consider this my latest resolution.... 

Decision '08

I believe I have FINALLY officially made a decision about how I will vote this Nov. 4.

I am going with the 'write-in' option.  If this is not possible (I do not have all that much presidential voting experience; I have only done it once before in my life), I am going with Ralph Nader (yes, he's running AGAIN).  

The End of the Season....

Sigh.   It was a hard loss this past weekend for my family's hometown favorite.

Now, take this with a grain of salt, because I am the ULTIMATE fair-weather fan.  However, I have always unconditionally wanted the cubs to win.  Just maybe not all that passionately.  

However, I saw an editorial today in the Sun-Times that, I think, summed things up well.  To paraphrase:   

Many people are giving the Cubs a hard time and many people are upset about the cubs losing solely because of the long-time (100+ year) draught.  However, from a statistical standpoint, the cubs are not overdue. 

Look at it this way - if one were to take a coin and flip it 9 times and it came up heads 9 times in a row - would tails be 'due'?  The tenth time a person were to flip a coin, the odds would STILL be 50/50 heads or tails.  It would have no greater or less of a chance either way.  It doesn't matter about the previous 9 flips; it doesn't matter about how many previous years of not winning the series.

So - how many teams are there in the MLB?  Thirty-six, I want to say?  So, the Cubs, along with every other team, has a 1/36 chance of winning the world series ever year - not great odds for anyone.  So, are all other 35 teams a failure every year?  (Again, NOT a sports person writing this....)  I realize at the end of the season, unless your team is the ultimate victor, your season ends on a sour note, however....

The cubs (and the sox) had a great season!  They won over half their games, clinched their divisions, had some great moments, etc.   So although we are all sad about the bitter end of things and not being able to make the BIG win and break the streak, the Cubs had no greater or less of a chance of winning this time around than they have ANY OTHER YEAR, and they did better than normal.  

So let's take a moment to look back and thank and congratulate the cubs (and, sigh, I suppose, the sox) for a great season!!  They may not have won the big one and their last couple games weren't the best, but they certainly did well.  

I Know Youtube Will Take This Down Shortly....

However - TINA FEY stole my joke! Ok, I know you're ALL gonna say 'drinking games' isn't the most original idea, but I was playing them back during the DNC!!!

And actually, as you see below, I chose 'reformer' for the VP Debate. I opted for 'Maverick" back around the time of the RNC. I guess, Tina, we'll have to agree to disagree (and see who ends up more drunk).

Sigh....the sincerest form of flattery!?!?!

Another Shoutout

...to another newly discovered blog reader - Ronny D!  Or should I say RonDe?  (or is it Rhonda?)  You  know who you are.

Ron is a good friend that I worked with for a good chunk of my professional career.  He certainly brings a lot of life, entertainment and myspace usage to any office he inhabits.

I am truly flattered not only that Ron reads my blog, but also that Ron wanted a shoutout, because Ron already regularly gets shoutouts on a much bigger Chicagoland media outlet.  Ronny, I can't write a song for you about getting your name wrong, but I hope this suffices (I wanted to pull your picture off facebook and put it at the top of this post, but I thought maybe that was a little TOO creepy).  

I appreciate the readership.  This better bring on a blog comment!

Editor's note:  Ron also has a regular-appearing TV spot where he talks about how much he loves Portillo's.   The fact that he even notices my blog exists means so much....

I'd Like To Thank...

...Sarah Palin for wearing all black at the VP Debate - she has made my Halloween costume so much easier.  I do not own a red or creme color blazer, as she has appeared in public in before, and I did not intend to buy one.  However, this will be quite simple now.  I just need a nifty beaded flag pin like that and I'll be all set.  :-)

Curious....

When was the last time you bought a CD? Like walked into a Best Buy and purchased one? For me, it had to have been senior year of high school (those of you who know me know how many years ago that would have been). I believe, in fact, that last CD I personally walked in and purchased was 'Baby One More Time' by Miss Britney Spears. PRIDE.

Early into freshman year of college, I learned the joys of, ahem, acquiring music over the internet. Nowadays, it's quite common with i-tunes to purchase a song at a time (perfect for keeping one-hit wonders exactly that). Hey, it is far from the most questionable thing people acquire over the internet.

Anyhow, I know there are still people out there in my age bracket with my level of comfort with technology who still go to the stores and buy CDs. I am curious - does anyone out there still uphold this practice?

One of the best things about CDs is that one can easily randomly discover some lesser known good songs by an artist that one wouldn't be discovering under, let's say, this new system. Right now, for the most part, I think people are primarily buying songs they already know they like. I guess this way one isn't forced to buy something he or she might not want - there are pros and cons.

Any CD enthusiasts out there?

Drinking Games During the VP Debate...You Knew This Was Coming....

Any time Sarah Palin used the words "John McCain" and "reformer" in the same sentence.

Getting Sensitive...

So, as I'm sure you all know, the google ads that appear on this blog relate to topics discussed in this blog (note the many obama/biden/mccain/palin ads - and there are many more to come).

However, once in a while, and ad will come along that will have nothing to do with anything but will eerily apply to me personally (note the Lasik vision ad).

Kind of like the Dianetics society, I sometimes take these unrequested implications about myself a bit personally.

Today's "supposedly" completely-out-of-the-blue-nothing-to-do-with-anything ad:

Managing Adult ADHD

:(

More Palintology

Several of my blog's loyal readers sent me this gem....

(Someone explain to me how to make it readable.  Thank you, much appreciated.  

Worst case scenario, google "Sarah Palin Facebook page".)