Asking Someone Out, Again....

Ok, so some interesting points have been raised in my previous posts. Here's another dating confusion, if you will....

Now, the question I raise....sometimes, it's hard to tell, exactly, what a person's intentions are when asking one out. Sure, if one were to meet a stranger in a bar and he/she suggests grabbing drinks/dinner, it's obvious that he or she is asking for a DATE. However, let's say there's someone who one already knows - like a neighbor/coworker/etc. - and he/she asks one to go grab a drink or the even more vague 'hang out'. Is it that this person is asking for a date, or is this person maybe just bored? Is this person just trying to foster a friendship? What is the assumption?

I find these circumstances awkward because there are plenty of people whom I wouldn't mind spending time with, socially, but I am not interested in dating. There's no real easy to way to try to clarify what a person means by the invite without making things completely uncomfortable - 'uh, what do you mean, I mean, sure, I'll have coffee with you, just not like THAT, unless you never meant that in the first place, in which case, never mind that I assumed you'd want to date me'.

I realize that it's probably much easier to say 'hey, we should hang out sometime' - it's a lot less awkward than, say, 'can I take you out on a date'. However, I also find it awkward when there are different expectations on a 'hanging out' event.

Since I'm a girl, I don't usually do the asking. What do my readers think here? Does anyone ask anyone out any more, or is it always worded 'we should hang out'? Is there a good way to try to clarify a person's intentions?

Concert Tonight!

Well actually, the concert was yesterday night. Better Than Ezra. It was great. Kind of short and not all that crowded. And the band members have all aged a bit. But otherwise, it was great.

I went to for the subject line of 'Concert Tonight' because it is a toss-back to the good old days of River Trails Middle School. I am not sure how many RTMS alums read this blog (well, there's only really one or two I know of) - but I'm curious if anyone else will get this.

Celebrity Lookalikes

Occasionally, people will ask me what celebrity I look like. The only celebrity I've ever been consistently compared to is Calista Flockhart (of Ally McBeal/Brothers & Sisters fame). I got this more in high school - I haven't heard it recently.



For Halloween, one year I made myself look like Pam from The Office (Jenna Fischer); this past year, Sarah Palin. I have been told (once) that I look like Pam (aside from the day I dressed like her).




A good friend and blog reader once said she thinks I look like Cameron Diaz - but again, I've only heard this from one source.



Once, five minutes before the end of a date, I was told I look like Angelina Jolie. I realize it was meant as a compliment, but I don't like her. I could write a whole entry based on my feelings toward her. Also, based on the timing of said compliment, I highly, highly, highly question the sincerity of it. That, and I really don't particularly see it.



There you have it?

Where to Meet Someone, Part 2

Ok, so once, I did have an experience of meeting someone/getting asked out on the street. However...here's how it went.

I was walking down the street with a coworker/good friend (and regular blog reader). It was just after New Year's, I believe, and I had made a resolution to be more open-minded toward men who ask me out (it was "The Year of the Yes" for me, if you will). Anyhow.

A random jogger guy ran past us at some point. I saw him briefly. My friend and I happened to separate because she had to go to her car and I went back into the office. A couple minutes later, said friend calls my cell phone.

In short, this jogger guy approached her and asked for my number. A.Page, being the savvy friend that she is, told him she would take his number down and give it to me.

Long story short, it was the year of the yes, I was single, I gave him a call. I'll give you a brief synopsis of said phone conversation. (I have summarized for your sanity, dear reader.)

(A brief 'Hi, how's it going, etc.' takes place.)
Me: So what do you do? Where do you work?
His name was Phil: I work in advertising, at an agency.
Me: Oh cool, I work in advertising too. I work at XXXX. Which agency do you work at?
Phil: Uh, it's on Michigan Avenue. I'm not supposed to say.
Me: Huh?
Phil: They don't like it when we tell people where we work, you know.
(Ooookkkk....)
Me: So where do you live?
Phil: Chicago
Me: Which area? (All I was lookin' for a was a simple 'Lincoln Park' - not a specific street address.)
Phil: The city, in general.
Me: Uh, this is kind of weird.
Phil: You have to understand where I'm coming from, I don't really know you, my last girlfriend was the psycho....
Me: (Since I was getting irritated at this point, I figured I'd give him one final chance to strike out.) What's your last name?
Phil: Oh, there's no way I'm gonna tell you that.
Me: You think I'm possibly going to agree to meet you when you won't tell me the first thing about yourself?
Phil: Well, we can meet at a public place.
(LIKE THERE WAS EVER AN ALTERNATIVE OPTION.)
Me: CLICK.

Anyhow - long story short - something was obviously shady. So, I guess that brings me back to part 1 of this series - is it possible to meet a NORMAL person who turns into a legitimate relationship in this way? Does this happen?

Editor's sidenote: However unrealistic, I do believe that his employer is, for obvious reasons, ashamed of the individuals it hires and that hr may have, indeed, pulled him on the side and asked him never to divulge that he is, indeed, associated with them.

Where to Meet People....

Ok, so I know I've discussed in this blog (multiple times) places a person can meet someone (for dating purposes). I think it's been established that the main ways to meet people are 1) through a friend, 2) at a bar, 3) at work, or 4) online.

However, many people have qualms with any/all of the above.

Now, it seems to me that, in theory, especially in a big city like Chicago, there should be plenty of other places to meet people. We SEE tons of new people every single day of our lives. There's nothing, in theory, abnormal about approaching a stranger and trying to strike up a conversation at a bar. So it seems as though one could, also in theory, approach a stranger on the train, in a bookstore, at a coffeeshop, on the jogging path, etc.

However - my MAIN question: do normal people ever really do that? Has anyone met his/her significant other, or someone who was a legitimate romantic partner at some point in such a way? It seems all well and good on paper, but does that ever really happen? It seems awkward - it's hard enough to start a conversation with a stranger, and if you think about it - the turnaround time of getting a phone number/date/some promise of a possibility of speaking to the person ever again has got to be pretty darn quick, if it's, say, somewhere like 'in line at the coffee shop'.

Anyhow. I feel like, in movies, people can easily fall in love in line at the grocery store, but does that EVER really happen in real life? Has anyone ever asked anyone out/been asked out this way? Does anyone know anyone who has had a real relationship start this way? Do people actually do this?

Weird Dream, Part 85?

So now, I am someone who happens to believe there are meanings, etc., to dreams. Well, I have been going in a 'having dreams' spurt lately. (Sidenote: What causes spurts of having dreams? Or, I suppose, as the 'experts' would say - what causes spurts of remembering one's dreams?)

Anyhow. Last night - I dreamt I was in my high school parking lot. I was driving a car (actually, I was driving the car of a girl I used to work with, whom I didn't meet until after high school and haven't seen in years). Somehow, the car started going in reverse (not to my doing) and I tried to stop it, but it sideswiped another car and left quite a bit of damage on both cars. I got out of the car and tried to examine the damage. However, when I looked closer, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Randomly, the owner of the car I hit came running up, but she wasn't at all upset, like one would expect a person to be.

So, naturally, I googled 'dream interpretation - car crash'. Here's what I got:

Dreams of cars are symbols of how you are progressing towards your ambitions and emotions experienced with traveling through life. A car can also be symbolic of our bodies.

To dream of a Car Crash indicates that you feel aspects of your life are out of control. Was someone else driving the car? If so you need to gain control over your life which is being dominated by another person.

Hmm.

There are a couple things I note about this bizarre dream that may appear to be significant:

1) I was in my high school parking lot
2) I was going in reverse
3) I couldn't stop the car by my own doing
4) The damage didn't end up being as bad as I expected it to be

Hmm. What does this all mean? I almost think I might know....

It's Britney, Bitch!

Ok, so I got to thinking about this the other day - now, say what you will about Britney Spears, but when it comes to musicians from my era who "can stand the test of time" - it appears as though Britney has doneso (for better or for worse). Kind of amazing, considering some she has outlasted.

Think about it - Britney has been around for over a decade. She was on her second album before that big Y2K snafu. She's been around longer than American Idol! I remember subscribing to Seventeen magazine and seeing her face in the ads as an up and coming artist.

I also remember, senior year of high school, going to Best Buy and being embarrassed to buy her CD (I think I lumped it in with U2 and Matchbox Twenty and pretended it was a gift for a younger cousin - I liked to pretend, back then, that I had finer tastes). However, now, I will proudly shout that I love Britney and I'm not afraid to show it! Think about - Baby One More Time, Womanizer, Gimme More, Lucky, I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman, Someday, and of course my personal all-time favorite - Oops, I Did it Again!!

Is anyone else a closet Britney fan? Say what you will, she has consistently been in the news for ten years straight (again, for better or for worse). Maybe 'Oops, I Did It Again' was really a line foreshadowing what's to come in her career.

Summer of Love

So this past weekend, I had a bachelorette party Friday night and an engagement party on Saturday (which I will touch more on later). However, during the engagement party, I happened to see a large boat traveling down the Chicago river (not at all unusual). As I looked closer, I noticed there was a wedding taking place on said barge. How romantic and fun! I thought this was a cute place to get married. As I looked closer at the boat, I couldn't help but notice a certain hilarity to it (NOT keeping with the theme of romance).



For me, this is the icing on the cake. When I meet my future husband, I am going to have to look into renting out this one.

Two Birthdays!

My roommate Jessica and my lovely dog, Louie!

The One?

So now, this morning on the el, I was reading Cosmo (as usual) and there's an article about soulmates (and, kind of, how it's dangerous to believe in them because we pass up good people and just set ourselves up for disappointment).

Do my readers believe in soulmates? I'm a cynic, however, I am torn on this one. I actually kind of do believe in soulmates - however, I think some people will mistakenly think someone is his or her soulmate, get hung up on the person, and then, as cosmo illustrates - miss out on other great people. I can definitely see this - I definitely think it's important to eventually move past someone if it's clear it's either a) not going to work out or b) not happening in the first place. A part of me wants to think (like most of my friends think) that there are lots of people for lots of people, and soulmates are just a figment of one's imagination. (Editor's sidenote - and not to annoy Piper - but it just came to mind that my cynical sarcastic counterpart Chandler Bing also doesn't believe in soulmates. Had to say it.)

Anyhow. There's also another school of thought that says we get two great loves - I'm not sure my feelings on this idea either, although it is quite realistic - maybe there's one for our younger selves (a 'first love', if you will) and then one for our mature adult self - the person we ultimately become.

A tiny tiny part of me does believe there are things not in our control and that sometimes, for whatever reason, some things are just meant to be (or not meant to be), and that maybe some of us do have someone we are somehow destined to end up with. However, I guess I'm not sure everyone has a soulmate. And I definitely, definitely think a lot of people I know have wrongly thought someone was their soulmate (and probably ended up with a lot of wasted time and energy on that person/missed out on other opportunities, etc.). Hmm.

What do you all think? Please, enlighten me.

Follow Me....

So, thanks to the help of my good friend Emily, I have set it up so that one can sign up to be a public follower of this blog. I know some of my readers might not want to publicly admit they're stalking me, or even associated with me, for that matter, however, I'd really really appreciate it if you sign up. Anon, I am looking your way....

For Those Watching So You Think You Can Dance....

Why do the wardrobe folks hate Cat so much?!?!

I didn't like Cat, either, at first, but now I think she's really the perfect host for this kind of show. She's the hard-hitting journalist who asks questions of the judges when they completely incoherent statements. That and she's kind and nurturing to the dancers - she's the mother hen. She's pretty good - much better than Samantha Harris from Dancing with the Stars. Anyhow - Cat's ok, but she needs someone to do a better job dressing her. STAT.

It's That Time Again

The above is as close as you're gonna get!

Happy Birthday Kellie!

Old Navy Commercials, Part II

So I wrote earlier about the Old Navy Mannequin commercials and how I absolutely abhor them. Well, honestly, they just keep getting worse and worse. Pregnant mannequins? Mannequins overboard? (Does this put me in the mood to shop/have sex appeal/elicit any positive feelings?)

Anyhow. I happen to notice there are quite a few other hits on google for old navy mannequins/old navy's worst commercials, etc. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Are Old Navy's sales up? (Actually, despite it all, I think they might be, because they are more reasonably priced in these hard economic times. That, and regardless, there advertising is ever-present, so they are getting noticed, for better or for worse.)

Let me ask this again - does anyone like the Old Navy mannequin commercials? Are they getting any good feedback? Does anyone not hate them? Is this blog post deja vu? Are they getting better or getting worse? Do they put anyone in happy buying mode?

Apple vs. PC

So, as you know, I am an Apple user. I am in no way shape or form a computer expert (shh, don't tell my coworkers), however, let me say this:

I bought this apple four and a half years ago. Knock on wood, it has never once had a virus, crashed, or lost anything of value (or, for that matter, anything not of value). Going 'Mac' was a decision based on three factors:

1) I had just acquired an ipod a couple months earlier and I really liked how it operated.
2) I'd had a bad experience with my college computer (every roommate I'd ever had made fun of it - I somehow ended up with a lemon).
3) Honestly, I was impressed with the aesthetics and marketing of Apple. I, as an advertising major, would tell you firsthand that this is not a good reason to buy something, but, I did have some backing with reasons 1 & 2.

Anyhow - as I said earlier, despite the fact that I don't do video-editing or various other Mac-specific activities and that I probably paid $200 more for my computer than say, the PC equivalent, my Mac has given me peace of mind, and one can't put a price on that. I am very happy with my decision and, honestly, I don't forsee myself needing to buy a new computer any time in the next couple years (knock on wood...), but if everything continues as is, my next computer will for sure be a Mac.

Unrequited Love, Part 2

So I just made an interesting discovery. If someone googles 'unrequited love', this blog comes up in the top ten google results. Actually, me writing this post right now probably strengthens that result.

So what is google trying to tell me? Am I an expert in 'unrequited love'? If so, well, ouch, google.

I guess my next question is this - are people searching for ways to cope with unrequited love on the internet? For as funny as this sounds, I do understand that unrequited love is quite a state of desperation, so I'm certainly NOT judging. Like everyone, I know the lonely sad state of heartache and how one could look for comfort in anything to make himself or herself feel better.

I don't know what there is to really make one feel better - I know there are many vices (some unhealthy, some perfectly fine) that people turn to for some self-medication in these times, but I'm not sure what really cures the sad state of the broken heart. As Whitney Houston asked back in the '80s - where do broken hearts go?

I feel inspired by this subject. There'll be a couple more posts later.

I'm So Proud!

The Chicago Sun-Times won the Golden Local Debates!

The Chicago Sun-Times is an example of fate in my life. I very very randomly at the last minute decided to go to a career fair back junior year of college (the alternative option was going to class, but going to the fair was an excused absence). I literally wrote my first resume (after googling 'how to write a resume') 15 minutes prior to said fair. Anyhow, long story short, fast-forward to an internship at the CST that summer. I was all ready to go back to Chili's for the third summer in a row, but life had other plans.

When I came back recently, it all started by me, at the very last minute, deciding to go to a former coworker's happy hour, which I really had to squeeze in amongst several other plans for the evening. Again, it really wasn't in my plan for the evening, but it was there I ran into my current boss and, as they say, the rest is history.

Sigh. It's good to know that, no matter what happens, the CST and I just keep finding our way to each other. I guess it must be my soulmate (hey, someone had to be).

Reality TV....

Normally, I HATE reality shows. I mean, I liked them back in high school (like the Real World), which is probably part of why I hate them now. I like to think my taste is much more dignified and I have moved on to finer things.

Editor's sidenote: Anyone else remember the Real World New Orleans - the season with Julie, Matt, Jamie, Kelley, etc.?! That was quite possibly the best season I ever caught. What are they all up to now? I think I once saw the uber-hot gay guy in a spot on Dawson's Creek. I believe I read somewhere the Julie was supposed to be on September 11th's United 93 flight, but I'm not really sure. I would sacrifice all dignity and reservations about the real world to watch a reunion of this season's cast. Sigh. Anyhow. MTV, for a stupid as it might be at times, was really quite possibly ahead of the curve on the reality TV phenomenon.

Ok. So there are two reality shows that I absolutely LOVE....Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. I feel inspired when I watch SYTYCD, cause, quite frankly, I think I can dance. Anyhow -the new season starts tonight. I can't wait. There's always something good. I mean, sometimes Mia is being a bitch and Nigel's hair is a little out of control (well, that, and if you can get past the fact that Nigel doesn't really have a dance background like the other judges), but it's really some great TV out there.

My favorite dancer on the show is still Allison Holker from season 2 - I was SO MAD when she left the show before her time. GRR. I'm over it. I think. Almost. Well, it takes me a long time to get over things. She was in High School Musical. I wonder where she is now....maybe hanging out with the cast of the Real World New Orleans. Hmm.

For Those Watching My Social Calendar....

I will be seeing "Piper II" tomorrow. This is important because she and I don't get to see each other all that often. We are going to celebrate with some high quality Mexican food and good conversation.

Something Crazy Happened....

I went to church!

It's the first time in a long time that wasn't Christmas or Easter. Anyhow. I won't get into it. I hate it when people try to impose their religious beliefs on others. I also hate it equally as much when people try to impose their lack thereof on others.

So, long story short - I happened to be walking by the local Catholic church and remembered there was a mass that had started 15 minutes prior. Well, I was late, but let's be frank - the Catholic church really can't be choosy about its attendants. When I walked in, I felt a little out of place, like the person who has to be escorted in late into the theatre - but then I saw a toddler running around in the middle of the place and I figured he was causing more of a ruckus than I was and he was still perceived as welcome, or so it seemed, so I must be in the clear.

Anyway. The main reason I went was to light a candle - I never have officially lit a Catholic church candle, but I've always been curious. It took me a little while to find the candles, but, for some reason, at this local church, the candles were not actually candles but lightbulbs with mini 'on/off' switches (possibly they saw the toddler coming). Sure, I felt a little ripped off, but something about this church (St. Andrew's on Paulina in Lakeview) had a very real, sincere, simple, unpretentious, comfortable feeling to it, so I let it slide.

Anyhow, I'm not sure if I got what I was supposed to or what I was looking for out of the mass, but there's a couple lights on in my name there.

No Regrets?

I don't know why I'm feeling so philosophical lately....

So, in theory, we're supposed to live life without regrets. Is this possible?

For me personally, I definitely have a couple things I would have done differently - as we all do. However, I do have a couple regrets. Not things I said or did, or didn't say or didn't do - but rather, how I reacted to certain situations. I regret letting some things bother me as much as I did. I regret carrying anger over certain situations for so long. I regret letting certain experiences get the better of me. Letting the terrorists win, if you will.

Is it possible to live without regrets? Everyone seems to say we should, as a sentiment, but is it even possible? I think regrets are a sign that someone cared. Is it possible to not have regrets and have still cared?

I honestly dunno where these posts are coming from....but your thoughts are appreciated.

Everything Happens for a Reason, Part 2

All this talk of 'everything happens for a reason' is reminding me of my favorite Sex and the City episode, EVER. The one where Carrie and Samantha smoke pot.

Carrie : People say 'Everything happens for a reason.' These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,' But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.

Miranda: If I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve, I never would have had Brady.
Charlotte: Oh.
Miranda: I’m not finished. And had no time to eat.
So I never would have fit into my skinny jeans and realize this city is full of cute men.
Samantha: Now that’s my kind of thinking.

Thought of the Day....

The above quote. Everything happens for a reason.

What do we all think of it? Do we believe in it?

Now, I, like almost everyone, can think of a couple distinct times in my life where a specific series of events led to a certain pleasant outcome - one example would be how I ended up in my current job back at my company. Once it all came together, it seemed to make sense why other job leads panned out, etc. Also, I just happened to run into my current boss at an event I hadn't planned on going to - everything was a very last minute, spur of the moment decision.

I know a lot of people will cite circumstances such as running late for work and then missing being part of a huge 5 car pile-up or having some hitch thrown into their plans that lead to them meeting their future spouse to argue that everything, does, indeed, happen for a reason.

However, what about the people who weren't running 5 minutes late and find themselves in the midst of some tragic accident? I'm guessing they don't find comfort in 'everything happens for a reason'.

Anyhow.

Now, like I said earlier, I've had multiple experiences in life that have really lead me to find some truth in 'everything happens for a reason'. For example, a couple years ago I experienced a tragic circumstance (I'm kind of kidding....), however, through it, I found a good friend, Emily, and, through her, the world of blogging. So, for all my readers - well, everything happened for a reason.

However, there have been a couple incidents in my life in which I just can't quite figure out why things happened the way they did. It's not necessarily that these were tragedies or even that big of a deal in the end, per se. It's not that I'm angry or bitter because, obviously, in life, we all have our moments of not getting what we want and being disappointed - it's not like I wasn't due for it. It's more or less that I still can't figure out the reason for things playing out the way they did. Maybe I'm foolish for thinking there should be one.

This makes me wonder - is it not that everything happens for a reason, but rather, is it just that people find connections amongst series of events at times when things end up working out for them? Or, do some people just sometimes make the best of a bad situation, instead of it 'everything happening' for them?

Anyhow. Does everything happens for a reason, or is this just something people tell themselves to comfort themselves? What do my readers believe? Your thoughts?

Trivia Results....

There you have it.