An Honest Question About Gossip

A while ago, I wrote this post about getting together about my girlfriends and how, occasionally, we have the bad habit of sometimes talking about 'the one who isn't there'.

Recently, my friend Jeannine (who is responsible for the 'someecards kick' this blog has been on) sent out an email to our group of girlfriends saying 'this made me think of our group of girls'.  My friend Laura replied 'Wow, this is sad.  Or is it normal?'

That is what I am wondering.  I'd love to pretend I'm innocent of talking about my girlfriends behind their back.  I am not.  It's not malicious.  Sometimes it's out of concern.  Or, at the very least, in 'harmless', goodnatured fun.  Is this the standard amongst all groups of girlfriends?  Is it that every group, on occasion, gossips about each other behind one's back?  Is this, in part, 'not being a good friend'?  Is anyone immune to the gossip bug?  Your thoughts?

First Byte?

Recently, I watched a documentary entitled 'Love At First Byte' about online dating.  Hey, how could I not?  Anyhow - it reaffirmed something I already knew.

Someone from e-harmony was interviewed, and the subject of 'paying subscribers' versus 'non-active profiles' was brought up.  The rep didn't seem crazy about the question but acknowledged that, yes, there is a difference between the two.  The interviewer then pressed on the matter that one could, in theory, be receiving matches in his or her email that are not active members and cannot communicate back (and could, in theory, be people who are currently in relationships with other people and totally forgot they signed up for the site in the first place).  The rep replied 'well, yes'.

I can attest that I have not had an active profile on match in over six months, and this past week, I've gotten quite a few emails on the matter of people being interested in me, followed by a coupon to rejoin.  I'm guessing these sites us the whole 'feature, then coupon' option to entice more paying customers.  Ooh, these peeps are interested in me, but who?  I cannot see, I must pay to see....  Hmm.   I'm guessing I was featured as a match in several people's email, or, for those who know match, in the 'daily 5' (or whatever it's called).

It's not that this is necessarily dishonest or anything, but there is a little something a little...funny about it. Or maybe not at all.  That and maybe the 'rejection' (one attempting to communicate with these non-paying members and then not hearing anything back) from this will make one more excited about one of the other profiles.  A small part of me thinks there's a ton of mind games at play.  Maybe there's just too much to analyze.  Is there more to analyze in online dating than there is in real-life dating?  Your thoughts?  

Internet Stalking

When you live like me, this is exceptionally challenging.  Or is it?  Over the past couple years, I've met or heard of several people who basically 'live double-lives', and I wonder how they do it - how they manage all their lies and how they make sure the multiple realities don't intersect.   I've come to the realization that they are very careful, very calculating, and very cautious.   And that is probably how I maintain not doing the above.  :-)

Old Orchard Shopping Mall

I feel inclined to write this post because Old Orchard shopping mall is seriously one of my favorite places.  It's neat, it's clean, it has great stores.  Despite the fact that some of the clientele is a little 'uppity', if you will, it's generally a very nice place.  It's a source of both many a childhood memories and much credit card damage.

However, recently, a problem arose.  Well, first, there was the tiny blip where they quasi-renamed it 'Westfield Shopping Center'.  I know my mother personally sent a letter of complaint (she couldn't have been the only one).  In the end, they called it 'Old Orchard-Westfield Shopping Center', or something like that, but it's still known to the general public as 'Old Orchard'.

Anyhow - the problem I speak of today.  The food court.  They redid it.  And not for the better.  Well, they think they did.  They USED to have that wonderful 'Pizzaaaah' joint, where one could get a heaping large slice of pizza (1 1/2 inches thick!) and a bottomless pop (along with a lot of other food court staples - mcdonalds, subway, etc.).  Now they have a new area in the food court called "Wilde & Greene" or something ridiculous like that.  It looks nice and fresh and healthy and all that.  I'm sure it's nicer.  I'm sure it's fresher.  I'm sure it's healthier.  I'm not having it.  It's kind of like the dining section in whole foods or mariano's, but on steroids.  They've got that giant roasted rotating meat on a stick, or a build-your-own-pasta area.  It sounds good, in theory, but it's just not.  It's not mid-shopping trip dining.  At least not in my world.

Dear Old Orchard - please go back to your Old Ways.  I miss them.  I loved them.  I realize this probably cost you and arm and a leg to create.  But I really wish we could just pretend this didn't happen.

Love,

One of your Long-Time Fans

Why I Like Little Tiny Corner Coffee Shops

Kind of like Avis Rental Car - we're #2, we try harder.   Photo taken at Kickstand Espresso shop in Lakeview.  And M is for Mocha (I assume).

Things Men Actually Say

While we're on the subject of online dating debacles....


Here's a message I received:

If all someone with a disability wanted for their birthday was to go on a date with you and you had the chance to help give them that birthday present, would you do it?


Obviously I'm going to go my usual route of 'completely ignore', but I thought maybe some could enjoy this.  The jury is out on whether this was a complete and total joke, or if it was a legitimate attempt at a pickup line.

A Whitney Houston Tribute

Whitney will always hold a special place in my heart as a child of the '80s who grew up a dancer.  I learned choreography to many of her songs.  Senior year of high school I choreographed a dance to 'One Moment In Time'.  She's part of childhood memories for me.  I'll miss you, Whitney.  You're yet another example of how, on many occasions, bad things get the better of good people.

This is my favorite Whitney song.  It perfectly embodies the time that it is from.  :-)  And, as an angsty teeny-bopper girl, I could totally relate to this song.

Romance

This caught me this past Valentine's Day.  

Poonchkey Day!

Yes, I know that's not the proper spelling.  I know it's paczki.  Whatevs.  I love them.  That's all I know.  These are from Central Continental Bakery in Mount Prospect.  And they are delish.

In theory, they are a 'pre-lent' feast for Fat Tuesday - after that comes Ash Wednesday and all the giving up and stuff.  I do not participate in the fasting, but I'm not averse to the feasting. 

I must say, the Polacks, aka - my people, sure know how to do food.  Pierogis, Paczkis - my people sure know what they are doing.  (Yes, I am ignoring the fact that wine is largely unpopular in their culture.)

Even More Online Dating

So as you all know....yadda yadda yadda.

Recently, I received a message from an, ahem, gentleman on an online dating site.

"Hey, How's it going?

Brent"


Now, normally I like a *little* more substance to the messages I receive, but whatever.  Anyhow, I looked at his profile.  I didn't see anything particularly interesting or that matched with me personally, so I just kind of ignored the message.

A mere two hours later (four hours from when the initial message was received), I get a notification that I've received another message.  From this offender.

(Important sidenote: on most online dating sites, the default is one can see who views one's profile and when - so he did see I viewed his profile and, well, didn't respond.)

'Not good looking enough for you, eh?'

Now, I'm, of course, going to continue to ignore.  However - what response was he looking for?  Yes?  What was the purpose of his message?  Was he going to convince me I was superficial, and, somehow, subsequently convince me to go out with him?  He was a very average looking guy, in my opinion.  I kind of want to say his looks are the least of his problems.   File this under: peculiar man behavior.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I say it every year - Snoopy Valentine's Day!  I wish I had a beagle to cuddle up with right now!

Nail Art

What is that on my hands, you ask?  Too much time, perhaps?

Oh no - it's nail art.  I think I spoke on this matter before - back in high school - I did ladybugs, butterflies, etc.  I need to get back into practice (back into shape, if you will).  This is a good starting point.

What are your thoughts on nail art?  Like?  Dislike?  Am I outside the age limit?  Do I care?

Nail Preferences

I have to admit, I'm becoming more conservative in my 'advancing age', if you will.  In my nail polish color choices, that is.  I used to be all about the red and pink when I was really young.  Then I got into the blues and greens (hey, it was the late '90s).  I also stopped by nail art.  I might revisit that again soon.

Anyhow.  Right now, my two favorite colors are right here.

Beige and gray.  Well.  According to OPI, I believe they are 'Don't Feed the Hand Models' and 'Break a Leg Warmer'.  Anyhow.  What I know is I love them both.  A ton.  I'm really getting into the gray and beige families these days.  But don't worry.  It's not a permanent change.  Next week I'm (hopefully) planning for some nail art to mix things up a bit.  Variety is the spice of life.  

An Error Message I Could Deal With

Why yes, yes I would.  

On The Same Subject

 So True.

Word.

Lazy typing trumps bad spelling any day - just sayin'.

Another Throw-Back

I need a vacation.  Last year's trip to San Diego was fun.  As seen in a local guest shop:

One of the scents is rather popular.  Looks like they're running out of booty call - better find some more. No one wants to go too long without it.  

New Purse

File this under completely pointless, but I love my new catch! Such a beauty. He was only a mere...40% of his original price. Thanks coach factory warehouse!

Normal, Part 2

So, in an earlier post, we established that the only normal people are those we don't know that well.  I think there's really a good amount of truth to this.

Now, as we all know, if someone says or does something that implies quite a bit of weirdness on a first date or first meeting (or, at the very least, first couple encounters), we make a point of running like hell, or, at least, putting up quite a bit of a distance (in the instance it's a coworker, friend of a friend, or someone one can't easily 'get away from', if you will).

That begs the question - are the people we let into our lives simply the ones who keep their 'warts' (if you will) hidden the best & longest?  We are all, in theory, on our best behavior around those we really like.

File this under 'things I've been wondering'.