Another Reason I Need a Break From Online Dating

In case anyone was curious - I did not reply. I'm curious why he assumes I am not used to intellectual conversation....

One Reason I Need a Break From Online Dating

Yes, I replied.  I was curious to see if he'd up and give me his address (seeing he doesn't know me and I could possibly be a robber/'catfish').  He began to ask some questions to see if I was a 'serious inquiry'.  I got bored & blocked.

On A Hetox/Guyatus

Yep, you read that right.  For the past couple years, I've done/tried it all.  Speed-dating. Set up blind-dates. Match. E-harm. OKCupid. Tinder.  I grimace as I write out this list. 

It's not that I haven't found Mr. Right (well, I haven't, but that's beside the point).  It's just that, in the words of my girl, Taylor Swift 'I just, I mean, this is exhausting'. 

The e-mails.  The awkward conversations with strangers.  The texting.  The creepers.  I just don't have time.  Or rather, I just don't care to do this with my time.  I keep busy with work.  I have a good amount of good friends & family I try to keep in touch with.  I take dance class.  I work out.  I am in the process of attempting to learn coding.  I'm trying to read more.  I'm struggling to keep up this blog.  You get the drift. 

That, and, not to pick on online dating especially (which I really truly think there is nothing wrong with, and I know several great couples, some married/engaged, who started with a wink) - but oh goodness, it's a headache and a half some times.  There's the guys who write long, detailed, five paragraph essay emails.  There's the guys who write emails for weeks but don't make any attempt to ask me out.  There's the guys who write emails blatantly looking for a casual sexual relationship (even when I specified in my profile I was not open to said idea). There's the blatant control+copy+paste emails.  There's the 'this isn't in a foreign language, but it isn't quite English, either' emails.  And all the while, I can't help but think that there's a college friend I owe an email to, and here I am sorting through this crap instead.  

Back in my college days/early twenties, I hadn't gone on nearly as many dates as I have over the past couple years (grimace again), but all the guys that were asking me out or taking me out on dates appeared to really be interested in me.  The ones who kept calling, well, I knew they liked me.  Maybe it was because they met me prior to the first date in some way or another, maybe it was because there wasn't a seemingly large mass pool of potential singles as one's fingertips, but I feel nowadays it seems like there will be guys that ask me out and continue to talk to me, but I cannot make heads or tails of whether or not they are into me.  Perhaps they are casting a wide net.  Or keeping their options open.  I dunno.  What I do know, though, is that in all seriousness, I question if I could successfully notice a great guy trying to get my attention amongst all this white noise.

Something in me snapped the other day.  It must have been the 8th coupon in a row to reactivate e-harm.  I promptly went on an deleted my profile (which, another can of worms, and perhaps a blog topic - was not easy to do!).  Next - match - gone!  Tinder - deleted.  Okcupid - still there (because filling out all the questions was an extensive process), but I won't be checking it, except for material for this blog.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not anti-dating right now, I am just not doing anything that would constitute 'trying to meet someone'.  If I happen to stumble upon a great guy and he asks me out in some way, I will go.  But no dating sites, no blind dates - nothing that requires, well, time or effort.

That, and the other day, a friend made a good point.  We were discussing another friend who is dating a good guy (and it seems to be getting more serious).  Prior to dating this guy, said friend had a not-as-great relationship.  My other friend mentioned to her not to put up with it because "once you meet the right guy, things will be easy".  I wholly agree with this sentiment.

Responding to Facebook Birthday Greetings

I have a curious question that I feel is quite relevant in this day & age - what is the proper protocol for responding to a facebook birthday greeting?

In my personal opinion, I prefer a big, general 'thanks everyone for the birthday wishes' status, at some point the day of or a couple days after said blessed event.  Yes, it's impersonal, but so is a facebook birthday greeting.  Let's be honest here.

I've notice that responding to/acknowledging each individual birthday greeting has become the common practice.  Although I appreciate the sentiment, I must wonder - is this really necessary?  I wasn't thinking too much about the facebook birthday greeting I extended.  It wasn't a $200 wedding gift.  A mere 30 seconds after it happened, I forgot about it.  I wasn't worried that it got lost in the mail or that it, in some way, wasn't received.

Some people choose to 'like' the greeting.  Some comment 'thank you'.  Some do both.  Some comment 'thank you, Jaime' and tag me in the thank you note.  Notifications up the wazoo.  Too much.  Tooooo much.

It's not that I have a problem with people being polite and going the extra mile to show something was appreciated, it's just that, well, as an avid facebook poster like myself, when I see I got a notification or two, I can't help but feel a little bit of a letdown when I see that it's my high school chem lab partner liked my birthday greeting.

What are your thoughts on responding to facebook birthday greetings?  Do you do one mass response? An individual one for each?  Has anyone out there been offended that his/her 'hbd' was not individually acknowledged?  Anyone touched that someone really went the extra mile to Like/Comment "Thank you so much (your name tagged here) for telling me happy birthday - really appreciate it!"

Your thoughts?

Bickering on the Internet

So as all my readers know - I occasionally do some online dating.  As I might have mentioned at one point or another - in my 'OKCupid' profile, I have a line about only contacting me if you can form a coherent sentence.  I can tell you, it might be pointless for me to have this request in my profile, because it clearly is not granted.  I've gotten feedback from a couple guys who have said a lot of women have a similar line in their profiles.

A little bit ago, I got this message.

Disclaimer:  It appears this user has deactivated his profile, so I don't have to blur all out his picture/user name.  Not that I would have done that, necessarily.  I probably would have completely and totally disrespected his privacy.  Whatevs.  Lucky for him.

Now, aside from the following:

--Yes, I do know Einstein's theory of relativity

--Even if I didn't, there's time to google it and then respond and pretend I do

--There's a big difference in knowing Einstein's theory of relativity and being able to form a sentence

I was tempted to respond with one of the above, but I didn't.  I can't help but wonder....  He clearly is put off.  Is he looking for a response?  Clearly, he must be.  Is this his way of flirting?  I'm assuming that's a negative.  However, we're on a dating network - the reason for contacting someone should, in theory, be with the purpose of starting something that could lead toward dating. So then, what, praytell, is the point?  If he saw my profile and felt annoyed by something I wrote in it, why not just ignore it and move on to the next?

This brings me to the next question - why are there so many people out there who seem to enjoy starting fights with strangers on the internet?  I see it all the time in the comments sections on any articles.  Or, on random statuses on Facebook.  In fact, I sometimes see it on this blog!  Is it that they're sad and lonely and just looking for some kind of interaction with some emotion behind it?  Or is it just natural instinct for some to bicker and it's now been moved to the internet, since that's where communication takes place these days?  Do you enjoy a spirited debate online?  Your thoughts?

The Children Conundrum

So one of my good friends recently had an adorable baby boy.  I love him already.  Growing up, said good friend would often refer to her 'aunts' and 'cousins' who really happened to be close family friends of her mom who, for that reason, had been a part of her life growing up.  My other friends and I always thought this was funny - we just didn't see it that way.  However, I'm happy she does, because now this means her adorable son Nathan is my nephew.

This brings me to a bit of a quandary....  I'm 30 years old; several of my good friends are pregnant right now; some others already have kids.  There are those who definitely want kids, but are still looking for Mr. Right.  Then there are those who know they definitely don't want kids.

And then there's me.  I fall into a big gray area.  I still don't know if I want them or not.  I'm 30 years old.  Should I know at this point?  I remember, when a friend of mine and I were looking through men's profiles on match.com, she mentioned if men were of a certain age and were "not sure" if they wanted kids, it was a red flag.

This begs an important question - at what point in one's life should one know if he or she wants children?  At what point does one need to figure it out?  A small part of me feels like if my goal was having kids, my focus and some of my choices would be different right now.  Should I know if I want kids by now?  If it hasn't hit me yet, is it never going to hit me?  Or, as I slightly worry, is it going to hit me one day when it'll be too late?  I've heard about a lot of women in my age range freezing their eggs based on this exact fear.  Your thoughts?

Polka Dot....

Lately I've been obsessed with polka dots - not sure why.  Anyhow, I couldn't pass these up.  I'm not sure what I'm going to wear them with, but needless to say, I purchased them anyway.  

So I Ran A Race....

Yep, you read that correctly.

Let me backtrack.  So my company signed up for the Chase Corporate Challenge, which is a 3.5 mile race.  Of course, we were all encouraged, but not obligated, to participate.  I could have easily said no.  But so many others were doing it, including friends of mine who work for other companies.  Ah, peer pressure.

Anyhow.  On one hand, I like to think I'm in pretty decent shape and live an active lifestyle, but something about being good at running has always eluded me.  Now, granted, for this race, all that was required was participating, but a small part of me secretly wanted to do well.  I'm not sure why.  I was convinced, in my mind, with a little discipline & consistentcy, I could do decently.

So, in short - I made a point of running at least twice a week - somewhere between 2-5 miles.  I didn't really concentrate on speed at all; I just tried my best to run the entire time.  The first couple runs were rough; after that, I quickly got in a habit and was able to get on a pace and stay on it comfortably.

Come race day, I achieved my goal.  I finished the 3.5 miles in 34:48, with a pace of 9:57/mile.  I finished in the middle of the pack of my coworkers (and, most likely, somewhere around the middle amongst all the participants).  Most importantly, I ran the entire time and felt good (not close to death) at the end of it.

What I took away from this (in lieu of some cheesy comment along the lines of 'you can do anything you put your mind to') - it felt good to be working towards a goal.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have plenty of things in my life that are a challenge for me (my job, dance class, maintaining this blog, etc.) however, sometimes it feels really good to be working towards one specific goal (and then accomplishing it).  I think, in adulthood, after we're out of school, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and not be working towards 'something' specifically.

I think I will write some goals for myself.  How about you, readers?  Do you have specific goals you are working toward?

National Best Friend Day

Apparently, recently, it was national best friend day.

Instead of making some sweet, sentimental comment about friendship, how great my friends are (they are!), or how much they mean to me (they do!) - let me ask this:  what's with the emergence of all these randomass holidays?  Is the marketing team at Hallmark working overtime?  Are there more Leslie Knopes out there than we realized?

Does anyone actually observe these holidays?  I'm not talking observe in a cheesy-facebook-post-style celebration - I'm talking buys cards/flowers/gifts etc.  I'm secretly hoping not.  Let's not be suckers, fellow consumers.  Unless, of course, anyone wants to shower me with some presents.  That's a whole 'nother story, dear FRIENDS, especially on a day like this.  Nudge nudge.  Wink wink.

Readers Are Leaders?

The other day, I came to a sad, scary realization.

I don't read much any more.  I'm not sure when, exactly, this happened.  Back when I was a child, I loved to read.  At one point, I read around a book a day (granted, junior high reading level books, but still).  I think it might have initially dropped off back in high school, or maybe college (because I had a lot of required reading then, so I wouldn't pick up a book for fun, because I would think of what I should be reading instead).

However, in the early days of adulthood, I picked it back up a little, where I probably got in one book a month.  I used to read pretty regularly on the train at one point.  However, as of lately, I've been (shamefully) playing on my smartphone and working from home a lot, so my train reading time has been cut down.  Right now I'd pull out the excuse of 'I've been so busy', but a) I really hate it when people say that, b) ultimately, we always make time for our priorities, and c) in spite of my busyness, there's probably plenty of random crap I waste my time on.

Anyhow, as I sat down with a good magazine about a week ago, I came to another scary realization.  I'm out of 'reading shape'.  Now, don't get me wrong - it's not as if I COULDN'T read, it's that I had trouble getting into it, my mind quickly wandered, etc.  I figured this was kind of like running - people who do it regularly enjoy it, but people who do not struggle with it because they're not conditioned for it, if you will.  This could partially be why, when I have downtime, I don't typically reach for a book or magazine.

I could throw in the towel here and accept being a non-reader, but a) I have a lot of good books left on my shelf that need to be read and b) I don't like that idea.  So, I'm making a conscious effort to get back into reading.  I've made a goal to read for half an hour every day.  The first couple times were a little awkward (like the first couple training runs I went on), but I think I've found my groove and I'm generally enjoying it once again.  This makes me think of the potential comparison of how, over time, we can fall out of love with things for which we once cared deeply.  Reading and I have, metaphorically speaking, grown apart.  However, I'm honestly surprised at how quickly my love for it is coming back.

Does anyone else out there notice he or she has 'grown apart' from reading (especially with the presence of things like smartphones/ipads/facebook/etc.)?  Is anyone else perturbed and trying to make a conscious effort to 'get it back'?

That One Friend

This is so totally me.  Blush.  The horror.

I'd like to echo the sentiment of someone who commented in the thread - I don't know how a relationship status whether one could give good advice or not.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Whatcha Eatin?

I'm posting this because it's hilarious, even though I'm one of the biggest offenders:

Why have we started doing this?  Is this like when someone posts on facebook 'omg, I love my bf soooo much' - like they're trying to prove a point?  What point are we trying to make?  That we're well-fed?  

A Slip of the Lip....

Recently, I bought a cute dress online at a little store I've discovered called the little red dress boutique.  I've found that shopping online for clothing can be difficult for two reasons: a) things don't always fit as cute as they look like they will, and a cute fit is half the value and b) sometimes, no matter how accurately the store tries to portray its clothing, things don't always look exactly as one would expect.

Anyhow.  I took a risk and bought the green dress.  I've had positive experiences with this store and its quality/customer service in the past, and the price was pretty good.  I was only slightly worried about the issues I mentioned above.

Well, I received said dress.  It looked great when I pulled it out of the box.  However, I immediately noticed a problem....  It is virtually see-through.  In the dress/store's defense, it was advertised as 'unlined'.  However, I didn't realize it would be this riske.

I was then faced at a crossroads.  What do I do?  Do I return it?  I feel returns can be difficult with online orders (unless you're dealing with zappos) - although I don't know red dress's return policy offhand, I know often times you lose something (shipping, return shipping, etc.).  That and I HATE making returns.  I am not sure why.  But I really really do.  I may have simply reached capacity on returns during my childhood (thanks Mom).

I started digging in my underwear drawer, looking for the perfect nude pair.  I stumbled upon something I hadn't seen in a very long time and didn't know I still had.  Ladies and gentlemen, drumroll please....

A slip.

Yes, a slip.  Do they still make slips?  I know this slip was (eeeek) at least 10 years old, dating back to my college sorority days when I had to buy a white dress for initiation.  Have slips gone out like pantyhose?  I might be inclined to believe so.

Anyhow - I tried it on underneath the dress. Viola!  Perfect.  The dress looked great, the slip was completely unnoticeable, I just felt like I was harboring a dirty secret (better or worse than spanx?  don't answer that).

Is it still acceptable to wear a slip?  Is it acceptable for anyone under the age of 65 to wear a slip?  How do my other girls out there handle it when a dress is sheer?

Skirt or Belt?

I, very officially, feel like an old person on this one.  I'm one step away from yelling at kids to stay off my lawn and turn the music down.

That being said - I was shopping this weekend.  I went into Abercrombie (yes, I know).  I was curious what they carry these days.  I saw the above.  

It's a skirt.  I, too, was a little confused.  Now, I'm not necessarily all about dressing modestly.  I'm not bothered by teenage girls in half-tops or short shorts.  However, this, in my mind, is a step across the line.  And, if the person wearing this isn't a teenager - well that's even worse!  

But serious now.  How does one wear this?   How does one, ahem, bend over (even slightly)?  It literally looks like a belt?

I'd like to think fashion wasn't so bad when I was younger.  And I'd also think that, when I was younger, I would have had the good judgment not to buy this or try to wear it.  I really really hope so.  

P.S.  Comment on the '30% off' irony.

A Pre-Date Googling, Part 1

So I read this very interesting article in April's Glamour magazine about the dangers of pre-date googling.

It probably won't surprise my readers to learn that I'm a pretty big offender on this front.  Knowing myself, this probably isn't going to stop me.

Basically, this article stated that it takes out the organic element of getting to know a person.  We make too many assumptions based on what we find online.  One of the points they brought up is we might find 'deal breakers' online that we would normally excuse in real life because either there might be some  additional explanation, or the real-life chemistry might be so strong that this becomes irrelevant.

However.  I, like almost all single people in Chicago, am on a little site called 'OKCupid'.  For those not familiar, there's the standard profile portion, plus an unlimited amount of questions one can answer about him/herself on sex, values, religion, etc.  One can answer the questions him or herself, then answer what one deems 'acceptable answers' from a potential mate, and whether or not one deems this question important.

When I filled out said dating site profile, I answered a TON of questions.  This, in theory, helps better match me to those similar.  Now, let me tell you, for almost every guy I have encountered on said site, I have seen some question that I didn't like the answer to.  Some question that I felt I could cut a guy on.    (Are you happy with your life? What are your feelings on group sex?  Is it ok to date someone already in a relationship, if no one else finds out?  How often do you do things out of spite?)

However, as I did this, I thought about two important facts.   Perhaps I was inferring too much on a guy's character based on a bad answer (he couldn't be attracted to someone whose body-type wasn't right?  this must mean he's superficial, or a workout fiend!).  Or, more likely, if I'd met this guy in person, these questions most likely wouldn't have come up in conversation on the first couple dates, so would I have dated this person anyway?  Would I possibly end up in a serious relationship with this person?  And more importantly, how many people out there do I think I know that might, in secret, have these weird-ass inappropriate (per my standards) answers to these burning questions?

Your thoughts?  Do you judge people on what you find out about them online?  Does anyone else on OKCupid feel she (or he) could cut practically everyone based on these questions?!

Happy Birthday, Now Come Buy Something

So, as my readers know, my 30th birthday has come and gone.  Eeek.

Something I noticed this year (beside the greetings on all forms of social media):

It started mid-March.  A store I frequent sent me a card - Happy Birthday, Jaime - please enjoy an additional $5 off the next $25 you spend.

Then the emails started.  Happy birthday - enjoy 10% any item in the next 90 days.  Enjoy $10 your next purchase during the month of your birthday.  Enjoy 25% off at checkout - enter code 'birthdaygirl'.

Everyone does a birthday coupon these days.  Which is, in theory, genius.  Because we all feel like we're getting a treat.  Only, we have to spend money to receive said treat, and it might be money we weren't planning on spending in the first place.  And, is a part of this preying on our vulnerable emotional side?  Maybe we're feeling a little sad, getting older and all, then all of a sudden we get a message from an old 'friend' (or store), and suddenly we want to go feel the love?  They wished us a happy birthday, it made us feel good for a bit, so maybe it's ok to go spend a little something on ourselves there.  Ok, maybe I'm being cynical here.

Have too many places adopted this practice?  Is it becoming white noise (i.e. daily deals)?  It's starting to feel that way.

Have you all bought yourself a birthday gift with a coupon?  No judgment if so.  I'm curious how successful these efforts are.   I prefer Sephora's free birthday gift.  Just sayin'.

Should I Have Opted for A Polite 'No Thanks'?

Another OKC adventure.

A guy starts messaging me.  He looks nice from his one pic; his profile is a little empty.  His first message is brief, but I decide to give it a chance.  We're talking; it turns out we're in the same line of work.

We start having a nice conversation about that; I then ask him where he likes to hang out.  He starts talking about his neighborhood.  He made the comment that he's had some trouble meeting women in his neighborhood.  Why so, I ask?

"They are all fake and lame."

Well, something about this didn't really sit right with me, and I kind of felt like I was at a crossroads in the conversation with him anyway.  I wasn't really sure if we were hitting it off and had much in common besides the same line of work.  I didn't reply.

I received another message (which I found odd, seeing I hadn't replied yet).

"Would you like to go out sometime?"

I suppose I could have written back a polite 'no thanks'.  I'm bad about that with online dating.

Then another message:

"Happy Easter."

"I know you're busy and all, but I find it hard to believe it could take you that long to type a couple words."

"You can't answer a simple question?"

At this point, I have blocked him.  And I feel confident I have made the right decision.  I'm curious if he's tried to message me again and received some kind of notification that he's blocked.  And I fear the day I randomly run into him at an industry function.

Absolutely Terrifying

A Cruel Tease

And here, I thought Joey Tribbiani wanted to see what I was up to....

Whop whop.

Save the Rainforests?

I just got the following message on a dating website:

Your face would save the rainforest.

What does that even mean?  I assume it's a compliment, but I'm not 100% sure.  My face would inspire people to make more environmentally sound decisions?

Or, is it maybe an insult, but maybe I'm just some stupid self-centered girl who'll assume it's a compliment and say 'thanks!'

Although he doesn't look like the kind of guy I'd be interested in, or seem to have much in common with me, I kind of wanted to reply, just saying 'what does this even mean?', but I was advised by a good friend that 'this is his trap.'

Your thoughts?  Anyone else receive a really strange compliment?  Anyone know what this means?

A Tourist's Guide to the Full House House

Recently, I went to San Francisco for work.  I had been there back last September.  And I missed the opportunity to do something very important - to see the Full House house.

Ok, for those, like me, who are Full House aficionados, if you will.... Here's a quick guide to 'the Full House house' for those who might be visiting San Francisco.

Generally speaking - there are three options:

1)  1882 Girard Street - this is, allegedy, the address the Tanner's said they lived at.  Source unknown.  However, to my knowledge, there isn't much there.

2)  1709 Broderick Street - this the well-known white house with the red door, seen below.  To my knowledge, from some brief online searches - this is a private residence.  Someone bought it; someone attempts to live there in peace (with occasional full house enthusiasts coming by knocking).  If you look on Google maps - this address is noted as 'the full house house'.

3)  The Painted Ladies in Alamo Square - this is, IMO, what you really want to see.  Aside from being famous historical architecture (or something like that), and, generally pretty - these babies are from the opening scenes where the Tanners have a picnic and play kickball.  They are also accompanied by a nice little park across the street from them (Alamo Square) where you can sit, chat, and enjoy the day.

So in short, for Full House enthusiasts, those are your three choices (that I know of), along with my recommendation.  Anyone else know of anywhere else Full House significant out in San Francisco?  You got it, dude!

It's Coming....

So, I am knocking on the door of 30.

Now, last year, I made an executive decision to not make a big deal of my birthday.  I had a nice dinner with two girlfriends, but otherwise, there was no major celebration.

Anyhow.  This year I'm going to do something big.  I want it to be casual and comfortable.  I want it to be easy for people to come and go as they please.  I want it to be inexpensive and chill.  I can't quite have people over, because my apartment is too small.  So I'm thinking of doing a local bar or restaurant.     Any suggestions?  What did you all do for your 30th?  Are there any cheap yet-still-decent bar rentals in Chicago?  What do you think I should do?

Perfection?

Stolen from the Freelance Writing Jobs Facebook page.  Yes it does.  Yes.  It does.

Just Do It

Go out and.....

Another Facebook Post

The other day, a good friend of mine and I were out to dinner, talking about a mutual acquaintance, who happens to have deactivated her facebook account a while ago.  My friend (the one that I was dining with) said she contacted said other friend to tell her about something she'd posted on facebook, because she didn't want her to be 'out of the loop' if you will.

"Oh, I already saw that.  Yeah, I log onto (enter other mutual friend's name) facebook all the time."

Well then.  Let me tell you, said friend initially deactivated facebook because 'she was sick of it', not because of a work/life privacy issue.

I have heard this before out of some other people - I know of more than one instance of someone quitting facebook out of 'hating facebook', then logging on under someone else's account.

Dear people who do this - you realize you are simply the people who throw out the cookies cause you're on a diet, then dig through the trash and eat them anyway?  I just wanted to make that clear.  

A Picture's Worth a 1000 Words

This is the caricaturist's interpretation of me.

He nailed the bangs, forehead, fingernails, and earrings.  Oh, and glass of wine.

Time For A Quote

I came across this quote the other day:

It’s odd when I think of the arc of my life, from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn’t know who I was. Then I invented someone, and became her. Then I began to like what I’d invented. And finally I was what I was again.

Isn't it SO true?

A Grammatically Incorrect Observation

I've noticed there's something I do regularly that, by all standards for the English language, is technically 'wrong'.

I start sentences with 'and'.  AND I do it a lot.  

I'd like to take this moment to make it clear that I DO IT WITH PURPOSE.

It's Not OK, Cupid

I just learned something interesting.  My fellow online-daters will appreciate this.

It IS possible to be an 8% match with someone else who has answered a substantial number of questions on OKCupid.

And, yes, said person did message me.  Le sigh.

2013 Resolutions

So, with reading The Willpower Instinct and the start of the new year and all - I got to thinking about resolutions.  And, you know, making some.

I have one distinct one that has come to mind.  Drumroll, please....

Be a better blogger.

I know what you're thinking, dear readers.  You've heard it before.  You've heard it again and again.  Instead of talking about blogging, why not actually go and do it?

I know.  Perhaps I've just hit a road bump this past year.  Perhaps I have hit the 'five year itch'.  But I am not giving up.  This blog has quite a few things going for it.

1)  It has existed for five years, which is legendary in the blogosphere.  Five years in the blogosphere is better than five years of marriage in hollywood.  I'm not going to give up at the 10 yard line.  And I never thought I'd use such an analogy.

2)  It is part of BlogHer, which is an excellent, well-respected all female blogging network.  I feel like I got into a prestigious sorority.  The only requirement is that I put out new, relevant content on a regular basis.  I will forge on.

3)  I have some awesome readers.  I HOPE I still have them.  Dear readers - are you there?  It's me, Jaime.

Ok, enough of this.  I had to publicly express this goal.  I figured it would help with accountability and that there'd be a better chance of me not failing at it.

Dear fellow bloggers - how do you forge on?  What do you do when you struggle with finding the time and energy to blog?  What do you do when you struggle for meaningful content?  Please share.

Willpower Instinct

I just finished reading The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal for the BlogHer Book Club - interesting discussion material found here.  (Requisite comment that I was compensated for this review found here.)

The author teaches a class on willpower in the psych department at Stanford.  She seems like she'd be an interesting person to take class from and it seems as though she really tries her best to take feedback from her students and apply it to how she presents her material.

Anyhow, I suppose this book falls into the 'self help' category, which I don't read from very often, so it's hard to compare how it stacks up to other books in its genre.  It read pretty quickly and was easy to understand, even when she got into explaining the scientific studies.  I may have zoned out a little during some portions when she was explaining which parts of the brain control what, but otherwise, she wholly kept my attention.  I was very reminiscent of books I had to read for various psych classes back in college, which I admittedly enjoyed.

The two main takeaway points I found most beneficial in this book:

1)  Don't beat yourself up for a slip-up - it is counter-productive.  It's kind of a knee-jerk reaction when one is trying to lose weight, quit smoking, stop drinking, etc. - when one indulges, she then starts hating on herself, but that just leaves one feeling bad about herself and seeking more comfort (perhaps from one of our vices).  Makes perfect sense but it isn't easy.  It makes me think of a quote I heard earlier this week - When you vow to live in forgiveness, don't forget to begin with yourself.  

2)  When one feels a craving - instead of trying to fight it, instead of beating yourself up for feeling said way (see above), just accept that these will come from time to time, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and imagine you're 'riding the wave' (like a surfer) of craving, imaging it will eventually crash, regardless of whether or not it is fed.  Interesting to think about.

All in all, I would recommend this book - it was an interesting and quick read.  It would be especially helpful to someone trying to make some positive changes in her life, which, I imagine, might be a lot of people at this time of the year.

Denim Dilemma

The pair of jeans on the left is a pair of Paige skinny leg jeans I got around 9 months ago and wear quite regularly.

The pair on the right is a pair my Mom bought me this past Christmas.  

When I unwrapped said new pair, I got a feeling of 'deja vu', if you will.  They looked very familiar, reminiscent of my other pair when they were 'born' if you will.

I looked at the inside of the tag.  The numbers matched up.

I made the suggestion to my mom.  She said, while I was at the house, in the shower, she checked the current pair against the pair she bought and she felt they were two different pair of jeans.

Dear jury - is this the same pair of jeans?  Could I have POSSIBLY worn out my jeans so much that they look this drastically different?  Should I keep the second pair, cause, regardless of anything, they clearly look different (and I love a sharp dark denim)?  Is there any way to tell if two pair of jeans are the exact same cut and color?  Is it all in the number on the tag?  Has anyone else ever bought the exact same pair of jeans twice and worn them?

Your thoughts?