The Worst Part of A First Date.

...taken directly from Seinfeld:


Jerry: Dating is really starting to get embarrassing isn't it?
Elaine: I know. You know, whenever I'm on a date I feel people can tell.
Jerry: People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Elaine: You can say that again.
Jerry: It's embarrassing for them. It's painful for us to watch. I'm going out with someone later, I'm not even taking her out of the house.
Elaine: Good for you.
Jerry: I don't need a bunch of people staring at us.

Some other Takes on the Exclamation Point

Elaine: See, right here you wrote "Myra had the baby", but you didn't use an exclamation point.
Jake: So?
Elaine: So, it's nothing. Forget it, forget it, I just find it curious.
Jake: What's so curious about it?
Elaine: Well, I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.
Jake: Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.
Elaine: You don't think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point.
Jake: Hey, I just chalked down the message. I didn't know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.
Elaine: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.
Jake: Ok, I'm excited. I just don't happen to like exclamation points.
Elaine: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I'm talking right now, I would put an exclamation points at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!
Jake: Well, you can put one on this one: I'm leaving!

Jerry: You're out of your mind you know that.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: It's an exclamation point! It's a line with a dot under it.
Elaine: Well, I felt a call for one.
Jerry: A call for one, you know I thought I've heard everything. I've never heard a relationship being affected by a punctuation.
Elaine: I found it very troubling that he didn't use one.

*Pendant publishing. Elaine is at Lippman's office.*

Elaine: You wanted to see me, Mr. Lippman?

Lippman: I was just going over the Jake Jarmel book and I understand you worked with him very closely.

Elaine: Yes, krhm, yes I did.

Lippman: And, anyway I was just reading your final edit, um, there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points.

Elaine: Well, I felt that the writing lacked certain emotion and intensity.

Lippman: Oh, "It was damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!"

Elaine: Right, well...

Lippman: You put exclamation point after sweatshirt?

Elaine: That's that's correct, I-I felt that the character doesn't like to be ch-ch-chilly...

Lippman: I see, "I pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn't come out!" Exclamation point?

Elaine: Well, yeah, you know how frustrating that can be when you keep putting quarters and quarters in to machine and then *prrt* nothing comes out...

Lippman: Get rid of the exclamation points...

Elaine: Ok, ok ok ...

Lippman: I hate exclamation points...

Elaine: ...ok I'll just....

A Lovely Birthday Gift From My Mother

Undateable.  311 Things Guys do that Guarantee They Won't be Dating or Having Sex
By:  Ellen Rakieten & Anne Coyle

Elaine:  So basically, what you're saying is that 95% of the population is undateable?

Jerry:  UNDATEABLE!

Elaine:  So how are all these people getting together?

Jerry:  Alcohol!

I can't wait to read it!