So, let me preface this blog post with this - some people feel I have ill-contrived views dating and relationships. I feel everyone else has ill-contrived views and I'm right. A lot has changed in dating in relationships in the past, let's say, century. Today's modern woman can approach a man and ask him out if she wants - it is totally accepted as normal. She can sleep with whomever she wants - be it a romantic partner or casual fling. She can live with a man without the ring if she so chooses. Some would say she has all the freedom and control she could ask for.
However.
One thing that hasn't changed - the job of proposing marriage is still considered a man's domain. Of all the couples I know personally (not just peers but family members, etc.) - I do not know one single couple where the man didn't ultimately pop the question (although some will argue that they, as a couple, had discussions on the matter beforehand, that it was a mutual decision, etc. - it was always ultimately the man who bought the ring and asked the question).
Although some might argue that a woman COULD propose - I think it's safe to say that it's still considered taboo. Whenever there's a story about a woman proposing - there's a presumption that the man wasn't ready and was pressured.
So, that leaves me with one question - ladies, are we still living on men's schedules? I definitely think the process of going through with getting married is, generally speaking, more important to women than to men - I think as long as a man feels secure that his woman isn't leaving him, he's pretty much content; where women are all about the process of getting married (sometimes to a ridiculous extent). Ladies, are we better off than we were 40 years ago? Would it be better if more women started proposing now? Am I the only one who views this as a potential problem? What would fix this conundrum?
Posts
![[Valid Atom 1.0]](valid-atom.png "Validate my Atom 1.0 feed")
2 comments:
Jaime, I have viewpoints to share for discussion.
The premise is: What ever happened to romance? Is it dead?
Sure, today women are asking men on dates, living with boyfriends, and having casual sexual encounters without the scorn of history's past.
But I just need to ask the question, "Is this what women, down deep in their souls, really want?"
Is the whole idea of meeting a nice guy somewhere, playing the flirtatious subtle signals game, having him ask you out, dating exclusively for a while, meeting one another's family, discussing future plans, then having the man bow down on one knee with a token of commitment... is this really a broken system that needs to be fixed?
It's the pinnacle of humility for men. They've shelled out big bucks with this token and women have the ultimate say. Last time I checked the question was, "Will you marry me?" not "You will marry me." I can't think of anything more empowering for women.
Is breaking the women proposing taboo a cultural advance that women really WANT? Sure women can do all the relationship "work" they want themselves, but aren't they losing something in the process? Am I totally off base in thinking that women want to be cherished, wooed and pursued by their men? Do they really want to take away men's process of ring shopping, planning how to propose, etc?
Basically: Are women's desires for romance really dead?
I think the answer is no.
Matt:
You raise some interesting points - some of which I agree with, some of which I obviously don't. There'll be a response dedicated to this in the next couple days.
Post a Comment