Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

So earlier today, I was supposed to go to the dentist at 9:30.  I worked from home to accommodate this.  So I'm in my car, running right on time (for one of the first times in my life, mind you).

All of a sudden, I hear an unusual, consistent noise.  It sounds like something may have gotten wrapped around one of my wheels or something.  I hope whatever it is can free itself.  As I continue on for a block, said noise continues.  I pull over to the side of the road, ironically right across the street from an auto-body shop.  I check the wheels.  I check underneath my car.  There's something long and silver, in the middle of my car's underbelly, that's dragging.  As you can tell, I'm a car expert, so I know the exact part.

So, I'm feeling pretty dumbfounded about what to do.  I know nothing about cars.  I don't have triple A.  Is it safe to drive a car with a metal part dragging?  I was guessing the answer to that is no.  It would appear someone would have to seriously get underneath the car or lift the car up to fix it.  Well, I'm a little nervous.  Since I have no idea what to do from here, I call the dentist to tell them I'm going to be late.  They tell me to do what I can, but they can't promise they can keep my appointment if I'm too late.  The least of my worries.

Anyhow.  I happen to be across the street from a car dealership with an auto-body repair shop attached.  Again, I wasn't sure what to do - could I safely drive my car back to my apt if I didn't want their service?  What were my choices?  I had no idea what to do.  I figured I'd go in and ask if they knew what was wrong with my car and start from there.  They seem to have already seen my troubles through the window and are mildly amused.  They know exactly what's wrong.  Something (they named it) became disconnected.  They could reconnect it for me.  What does it cost?  Don't worry about it.  So, 30 minutes later,  I was all fixed up.  I called the dentist.  Unfortunately, I lost my appointment, but I couldn't be too upset based on the kindness of strangers.  My dentist's office said he could take me at 2:30.  Since I was working from home, this worked.  Again, the whole circumstance was mildly inconvenient, but I couldn't be too upset because it obviously could have been much worse.

Now, this leads me to the question - why do random things like this happen?  Granted, this isn't cut from the same cloth of 'why do bad things happen to good people', but just plain why - what was the point of this?  I know many people would say there isn't any profound meaning to something like this (and that's usually where I am on things), but I know there are also people who believe everything happens for a reason and perhaps this car malfunction saved me from some impending car accident up ahead near the dentist's office or perhaps a car malfunction at a more inconvenient time in a dangerous neighborhood or something.  Your thoughts?  Do you believe things happen for a reason?

Fate vs. Action

So, as discussed earlier, some people believe 'everything happens for a reason'. Some people believe that, no matter how hard a person tries, one cannot screw up his/her fate - our mistakes 'make our fate', if you will (per Sex and the City).

However, there's another saying that goes 'fate only takes you so far - once you're there it's up to you to make it happen'. I mean, if one thinks about it, this makes complete sense on some level. Let's say if one wants to go into some career path or achieve some goal - some form of action is necessary. One can't become a professional athlete by just sitting on the couch eating cheetos watching tv and wishing for it.

So, I ask this - for those out there who believe in fate - what percentage is fate and what percentage is action? If something isn't meant to be, is there any way possible to force it? When should someone give up on something? Should someone just sit back and wait for something to happen? I think the semi-unanimous response to this would be 'no', but if we can't miss our fate, then won't things work out a certain way any way?

Your thoughts? I certainly don't know the answer to this one. However - I do remember that back in college, I had a crush on a fellow student (see blog post entitled 'Unrequited Love'). A large part of me, at the time, believed in fate and that if he was meant for me, we'd somehow end up together. However, I wrote him an email letting him know how I felt to take action (despite my beliefs that things would work out if necessary) so I would have peace of mind knowing that, if we never got together, I did all that I could and I could never sit around wondering 'what if'. Anyhow.

Trying to Find Comfort on the Internet?

It always amuses me the things people search for on the internet. Or rather, the possibly answers out there in cyberspace. I guess whether or not people are actually searching for these things is difficult to tell, although, I believe if there are answers out there, it's simply because someone was once asking the question.

Some examples of what I'm talking about:

--Unrequited Love: 1,060,000 google hits
--Dealing with a Broken Heart: 45,600,000 google hits
--Everything Happens for a Reason: 31,600,000 google hits

If one is struggling with a difficult time - is 'googling' the issue - these emotional, real life issues - now the way we cope? Is this a sign of the times? If one is suffering from, let's say, unrequited love, does one google the subject and read up on it? Is there comfort in that? Does google really hold all the answers? I'm kind of opting for 'no' - insert cliched expression of 'some answers can't be found on google'.

Anyhow.

Your thoughts? Has anyone out there ever googled how to handle a tough 'life' topic? Has anyone out there sought comfort on the internet?

No judgment.

Some More Thoughts on Sex and the City and Fate, Etc.

Carrie Bradshaw: I got to thinking about fate. That crazy concept that we're not really responsible for the course our lives take. That it's all predestined, written in the stars. Maybe that explains why, if you live in a city, where you can't even see the stars, your love life tends to feel a little more random. And even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache, is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal milky way? I couldn't help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?

Now, this was a lovely episode and all(the one where Miranda has Brady and Mr. Big moves halfway across the country) - it raises an interesting point - can we, somehow, screw up our fate? There's a nice, sweet, charming quote at the end of it:

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cites. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

Anyhow.

This raises an interesting question - is it possible to 'miss your fate'? I know my spiritual friends will say no. I know my more scientific friends will say there is no such thing as fate. I probably fall somewhere into a 'middle ground' when it comes to spiritual vs. scientific.

Some people say 'what's meant for you won't miss you'. I am not sure what I believe on this one. However, I can think of four instances in my life where, ironically, it seemed like things were just meant to work out a certain way, against all odds. I'll go as far to say I can think of four instances where I ALMOST screwed up my fate, but for whatever reason, things worked out the way they did anyway.

However, according to this way of thinking, it's almost as though one is just supposed to sit back and wait for fate to happen to him/her. I believe in being proactive about things. I do believe that when a person really wants something, it's up to him or her to go out and make it happen. I kind of feel the whole 'fate' concept sometimes kind of contradicts this. Hmm.

Thoughts? Is there such a thing as fate? Is it possible to screw up one's fate? Can anything be done to alter fate?

I'm So Proud!

The Chicago Sun-Times won the Golden Local Debates!

The Chicago Sun-Times is an example of fate in my life. I very very randomly at the last minute decided to go to a career fair back junior year of college (the alternative option was going to class, but going to the fair was an excused absence). I literally wrote my first resume (after googling 'how to write a resume') 15 minutes prior to said fair. Anyhow, long story short, fast-forward to an internship at the CST that summer. I was all ready to go back to Chili's for the third summer in a row, but life had other plans.

When I came back recently, it all started by me, at the very last minute, deciding to go to a former coworker's happy hour, which I really had to squeeze in amongst several other plans for the evening. Again, it really wasn't in my plan for the evening, but it was there I ran into my current boss and, as they say, the rest is history.

Sigh. It's good to know that, no matter what happens, the CST and I just keep finding our way to each other. I guess it must be my soulmate (hey, someone had to be).

No Regrets?

I don't know why I'm feeling so philosophical lately....

So, in theory, we're supposed to live life without regrets. Is this possible?

For me personally, I definitely have a couple things I would have done differently - as we all do. However, I do have a couple regrets. Not things I said or did, or didn't say or didn't do - but rather, how I reacted to certain situations. I regret letting some things bother me as much as I did. I regret carrying anger over certain situations for so long. I regret letting certain experiences get the better of me. Letting the terrorists win, if you will.

Is it possible to live without regrets? Everyone seems to say we should, as a sentiment, but is it even possible? I think regrets are a sign that someone cared. Is it possible to not have regrets and have still cared?

I honestly dunno where these posts are coming from....but your thoughts are appreciated.

Everything Happens for a Reason, Part 2

All this talk of 'everything happens for a reason' is reminding me of my favorite Sex and the City episode, EVER. The one where Carrie and Samantha smoke pot.

Carrie : People say 'Everything happens for a reason.' These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,' But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something.

Miranda: If I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve, I never would have had Brady.
Charlotte: Oh.
Miranda: I’m not finished. And had no time to eat.
So I never would have fit into my skinny jeans and realize this city is full of cute men.
Samantha: Now that’s my kind of thinking.

Thought of the Day....

The above quote. Everything happens for a reason.

What do we all think of it? Do we believe in it?

Now, I, like almost everyone, can think of a couple distinct times in my life where a specific series of events led to a certain pleasant outcome - one example would be how I ended up in my current job back at my company. Once it all came together, it seemed to make sense why other job leads panned out, etc. Also, I just happened to run into my current boss at an event I hadn't planned on going to - everything was a very last minute, spur of the moment decision.

I know a lot of people will cite circumstances such as running late for work and then missing being part of a huge 5 car pile-up or having some hitch thrown into their plans that lead to them meeting their future spouse to argue that everything, does, indeed, happen for a reason.

However, what about the people who weren't running 5 minutes late and find themselves in the midst of some tragic accident? I'm guessing they don't find comfort in 'everything happens for a reason'.

Anyhow.

Now, like I said earlier, I've had multiple experiences in life that have really lead me to find some truth in 'everything happens for a reason'. For example, a couple years ago I experienced a tragic circumstance (I'm kind of kidding....), however, through it, I found a good friend, Emily, and, through her, the world of blogging. So, for all my readers - well, everything happened for a reason.

However, there have been a couple incidents in my life in which I just can't quite figure out why things happened the way they did. It's not necessarily that these were tragedies or even that big of a deal in the end, per se. It's not that I'm angry or bitter because, obviously, in life, we all have our moments of not getting what we want and being disappointed - it's not like I wasn't due for it. It's more or less that I still can't figure out the reason for things playing out the way they did. Maybe I'm foolish for thinking there should be one.

This makes me wonder - is it not that everything happens for a reason, but rather, is it just that people find connections amongst series of events at times when things end up working out for them? Or, do some people just sometimes make the best of a bad situation, instead of it 'everything happening' for them?

Anyhow. Does everything happens for a reason, or is this just something people tell themselves to comfort themselves? What do my readers believe? Your thoughts?