Struggling Blogger

So, as my (now few) loyal readers might have noticed, this blog is struggling.  Or perhaps, this blogger is struggling.  There has not been much posting lately.  This problem has been a bit consistent over time.

I'd like to blame life having gotten busy (which is true), but a) I have always been somewhat busy and b) we always cover our priorities.

Another issue that comes to mind is that I've been struggling to find material.  Some topics I used to write about I've lost interest in (politics), others I feel I've exhausted (dating).

It's not that this blog isn't a priority to me, and it's not that I don't care about it any more.  The best thing I can say to explain this situation is it's as if my blog and I are an old married couple that have hit a rough patch.  I still love my blog.  I still want it to continue.  But for some reason, the feeling I once had for it - the excitement - seems to be lost.

I would like to continue my relationship with my blog.  I hope to get it back.  An honest question, other bloggers - have you struggled in such a way?  What did you do to combat it?  Did you abandon ship/blogging?  I am not sure the average shelf-life of a blog, but I know it is probably shorter than this blog has lasted. Did you come back from a rough patch?  Your thoughts?

Shopping in the Juniors' Section

I just had a 'huh?' moment.

I was anticipating the Nordstrom anniversary sale (can you blame me), when I came to a crazy realization.  I shop in the juniors' section.

Not that there's anything wrong with this, necessarily, but I'm 29 years old.  When will I, you know, shop in the women's section?  I should think that, in theory, I'm there.... When is one too old for the juniors' section?

Do any of my dear readers also shop in the juniors' section?  Is this slang for something dirty that I don't know about?  Do you fellow twenty-something women shop in the juniors' section?  Should I graduate and move on? 

Addiction Problems?

So I have several friends who've 'quit facebook' recently.

In a couple incidents - I've asked said friends why, exactly, they quit good ole friendcentral.

"I've just been super-busy.  I haven't had the time for it."

or

"I had to quit.  It was too distracting."

Now, not to judge - but couldn't one just....not log in?

Again, no judgment.  I understand addictions.  I haven't been able to cut it under 3 cups of coffee a day. I understand addictions to facebook.  But, well....

Just sayin'.

I Had A Nightmare

So last night, I had a terrible nightmare.  I won't get into it, partially because I don't even want to think about it, partially because it was a dream so some parts of it don't make sense when explained.  Anyhow.  When I woke up, it took a couple seconds for me to realize the horrible things I'd thought happened didn't actually happen and that it was, indeed, just a dream.

The moment one realizes that a nightmare was just, indeed, a dream - is that the best moment, or the worst moment ever?  I'm debating.  I felt an extreme sense of relief, but also a little twinge of something else.  I'm not sure what - anger?  Trauma?  I don't know.  But I still feel a little shaken from it, even though it's been around 12 hours later.

Your thoughts?  That moment when you realize a nightmare was, indeed, just simply a dream and not reality - is that a good feeling or a quasi-bad one?

AutoRenewals

Recently, I got an offer for 'try linkedin premium for free'.  I noticed in the fine print that it appears that this is one of those 'you will be autorenewed and your credit card will be automatically charged unless you go out of your way to opt out in advance' deals.  I know, ahem, some online dating sites I use are like that.  I also remember I had a free trial of amazon prime that did something of that nature - I wrote an email voicing my discontent & received a refund.  Also, recently, a friend of mine got a free trial of some vitamins that operates the same way.  

My question - why do companies do this?  I mean, I do get it.  They then get to charge for an extra month of whatever.  They decided the customer relationship continues - it might be an easier way to rope in customers that wouldn't go out of their way to 'opt in', but will let it continue out of laziness/indifference.  However, does anyone LIKE this business practice?  I find it annoying.  I'm guessing most people do.  I know, like I mentioned with amazon, in most instances, annoyed customers can get a refund when they did not want to be renewed and are shocked to discover a random charge on their credit card bill.  And if they cannot, usually the business can get an extra month or so of payment out of said individual, but then they lose the person as a customer for the long-term.  And, generally, I feel most people are annoyed by this practice, so it negatively impacts a customer's view point of the business, even if their pocketbook is not victimized in the end.  

What are your thoughts?  What are the benefits of the 'autorenew and automatically charge after a free trial' (or ending paid subscription)?  Are their any benefits for the customer?  Are there any customers out there that like this business practice?  

Name Spellings

So my good friend Ellen sent me this article that I found interesting - 13 signs that he'll be a bad partner.

I can't help but notice #8, which is near and dear to me.  I have a name that often gets misspelled.

There was a guy I went out with a handful of times a couple months ago.  He misspelled my name a couple of times in email/text, etc.  I definitely gave him my name (and spelled it correctly, obviously).  Needless to say, it didn't work out.

I am currently talking to someone I may go out with.  We have been texting.  You guessed it - he is spelling my name wrong.  Should I hold it against him?

Here's my thought - these people, in theory, are trying to put their best face forward.  Is this like a person applying for a job, but spelling the hiring manager, or even worse, the company's name wrong?  Is this what one wants from someone who is 'trying his best'?  Am I just being sensitive?  Should one date a person who spells her name wrong?  Your thoughts?

The Silent Treatment, Part 2

So earlier today in cosmo (my bible, as Jay Leno would say), I read an article about what to do when one's man gives 'the silent treatment'.

This raised quite a few questions for me.  Do men give the silent treatment?  I just thought they got into bad moods on occasions.  I didn't think they went out of their way to be 'SO not talking to you'.  I thought that was primarily a woman's domain.  Anyhow.

This article went on to address 'the best ways to react to the silent treatment'.  This leads to the ultimate question - what is the best way to handle receiving 'the silent treatment'?  Whenever someone is giving it to me, I have a tendency to completely ignore it because I think it's childish (one should address the problem directly if something is upsetting him/her).  

However, I can think of a time in somewhat recent history when I gave someone the silent treatment (yes, I hear and see the extreme hypocrisy) and it worked out getting the end result I was looking for.  I can also think of a time quite a few years ago when someone I cared about was clearly upset with something to do with me, and, for the reasons stated earlier, I chose to ignore it; and now, said person and I are no longer speaking.

What are your thoughts?  Is the silent treatment effective?  Is it a good means of handling a situation?  Do you use it?  What is the best way to react to the silent treatment?  

Happy Birthday?

Something I always wondered.

How good of a birthday is it if it is spent responding to facebook birthday greetings?

Just wondering.  No judgment.  Been there.

Letting Go

So, thanks to Pandora, I have come across the song "Letting Go" by Casados.  I LOVE it.  it has a really sweet sound and nice meaningful lyrics.  The singers' voices have a nice melodic sound as well.

I have never heard this song outside Pandora and I have never heard mention of this band anywhere.  I decided to do some 'internet research' on the matter.

I discovered there were quite a few other people in my exact shoes - they mentioned they loved the song but only knew of it because of Pandora.  They wanted to know more.  What are the lyrics?  Who is this band?  Why is this song on XXX pandora station?   Why this song, and not their others?  (presuming they have created more than just one song).

Now, first off, let me say I found this to be a bit of an 'odd fit' for the station I found this on.  That being said, I've noticed a certain frequency of some songs/artists (I know there's a counter argument that this is simply based on what I've "liked".)  However, I assume Pandora to be a 'for profit' organization.  Are there certain artists that have 'agreements' with Pandora?  I assume for every song/artist I discover through Pandora, there must be a ton more that I'm not familiar with that I'm NOT hearing.

Is there a certain reason for "high frequency" artists?  For example, I know offhand I constantly come across "The Bravery" (whom I also do not hear of outside Pandora) and The Strokes (whom I do know of, but don't hear all that much in the mainstream).  I know a couple other Pandora users who have mentioned also constantly encountering these two bands.

Does anyone fully know how Pandora works?  Does anyone have an explanation for why some artists appear a lot and some artists rarely/never do (not that I can cite a specific example here) aside from "this is similar to what I've stated I like"?  Does anyone else love Casados?  Does anyone else know of the band from something besides Pandora?  Are they coming to Chicago for a concert any time soon?  Do they have any other great songs, or are they simply a one "hit" wonder?   What are some "high-frequency" artists you all experience?  

The Best Thing About Facebook

Ok, I know I've been through this before.  And I know all my readers probably think I'm, ahem, obsessed with facebook.  (I take the fifth on this one.)  But I think I've officially decided upon the best thing about facebook.  And it's not, as Seth Meyers so aptly said, watching one's high school friends slowly get fat.

The best thing about Facebook is...drumroll please...consumer reports.

Recently, my cable bill with rcn went up. I contemplated, for a moment, switching to Comcast. However, I seemed to think that I'd seen some negative statuses (stati?) about Comcast and Comcast customer service.

"Has anyone out there had a good customer service experience with Comcast?" I asked. Former coworkers, fellow dance students, and high school and college classmates all weighed in.

I've seen quite a few 'stati's like this in my feed. 'iPhone or android?' 'kindle or nook?' 'fitbit or striiv?'

It's also a great forum to gather others' stories. I'm friends with several journalists. I've seen them post asking about if anyone has any experience with a certain situation. My former journalist self is jealous that this wasn't around years ago - it's an easy way to gather quotes.

Anyhow. In short, what I love best about the 'book is that it can be a giant forum for gathering (presumably) honest reviews and information.  What are your fave things about the book?

Long Distance Relationships

So, today, on an online dating site, I received a message from a man in Hawaii.

Why?

This has happened to me on a couple occasions.  Why is this?  Is it an act of desperation?  Is it someone just not paying close attention?

I remember speaking to a man on this matter who did online dating.  He told me a story:

A very attractive woman (or, more accurately, someone with a profile picture of a very attractive woman) from another part of the country contacted him.  He was flattered.  He tried to have general conversation with her.  He noticed she's said a couple things that were odd/grammatically incorrect, but he'd thought maybe English wasn't her first language.  She'd continued to contact him.  He found it odd because she'd lived several states away, but continued to talk to her.  He asked her if she was ever in the Chicago area.  She then went into "Well, I would love to visit the area, but I cannot afford the plane fare."  He smelled a rat.  She then went on "My mom has been sick lately, I really want to visit her, but I'd need to borrow some money for the plane fare...."  He 'reported a concern'.

Are 95% of people from other parts of the country scam artists?  Or are they really desperate?  Anyone meet anyone from another part of the country online and it turned out being real?  

Officially An Adult?

I remember seeing a facebook friend post something about officially feeling like an adult on the day she received a poinsettia as a gift from a student.  It wasn't when she graduated college, got engaged, got a job, bought a house, moved in with her significant other, got married, or got pregnant, but rather, the moment when she received this gift that she officially felt like an adult. 

I had a similar moment when I voluntarily prepared brussels sprouts as part of a meal.  At the time I was 28, had been living alone for several years and was financially independent.  But yet, this random moment hit me.  

How about you?  What was your 'holy shit, I'm an adult' moment?  I firmly believe this is something that sneaks up on you - it's not in one profound moment (a college graduation, a first day of work, etc.), but rather, etched into the details of daily life.   What was your moment?

Splitting The Bill

I went on a first date with a man I met on a dating website.  He initiated the first contact, we had a couple good conversations.  He suggested we grab drinks.  We met up for drinks.  Over a series of about three hours, we chatted about our jobs (we are in the same line of work), various places we liked hang out, our backgrounds, etc.  Because we shared several interests, the conversation was fairly easy.  He mentioned more than once that he was having a nice time with me and that he would like to go out again.

The bill came.  As always, I did the typical 'grab for my wallet'.  Since we were sitting at a bar, he had gotten there first and given the bartender his credit card to start a tab.

"We can split it," I said.

He looked at me.  "Sounds good."  

I'll admit, I was a little surprised by this.  I pulled out a $20.  "I'm just going to put it all on my card," he said.  So, he grabbed my $20 and gave me $5 back.  He then closed out the bill and left an unimpressive tip.  We headed out.  He mentioned, again, that he'd had a nice time and suggested we hang out again.  I gave a fake smile and a 'mmm-hmm'.  We parted ways.

************************************

He was officially done in my book at the moment he let me pay for myself.  I know this is questionable ground.  I ran this situation by several close girlfriends.

"Did you like him?  If you liked him, go out with him again.  He should have paid for you, but it's not the worst thing."

Whether or not I liked him was completely tainted by the end incident.  During the date, things had a positive spin.  He bought a fancy wine the other night?  Earlier, that meant he had good taste and appreciation for nice things.  Afterward, he was cheapass who has no problem spending money on himself.  He spoke about how his recent career advancements.  At first I thought it showed ambition and a value of hard-work.  Afterward he just seemed like a conceited braggart.  

Anyhow.  I know this is a point of contention amongst men and women.  Several of my guy friends say they always pay for a girl and feel that not doing so is simply 'douchey' behavior that doesn't warrant a second chance.  It's not necessarily that I think "the man pays for the woman", but I see it more as a "who asks, pays" kind of deal.  Often times, if I'm out with a guy for a first date, I will have no problem paying for some portion (a round of drinks, the cab ride, etc.), however, a split down the middle is a complete and total deal-breaker.  However, I suppose some might see it as old-fashioned.

What are your thoughts?  Is it ok to split a bill on a first date?  Should a girl give a guy who lets her pay for herself a chance?  Is it old-fashioned to believe a man should pay for a woman on the first date?  What are your thoughts and experiences, dear readers?  

A Modern-Day Relationship Problem?

So, as most of my readers know, I briefly tried eharmony.  I thought it was a decent site, but nothing to write home about it.  I didn't get too much out of it, other than some drinks and a couple blog posts.

Anyhow.  I am still subscribed to their emails for some reason.  They mostly address dating dilemmas - such as 'top ten can't stands for men'.  A couple of them annoy me a little (because I almost feel like they are advising women on how to 'behave' in order to 'land a man' if you will), but most of them really just crack me up.

The other day, I saw one that really got me.

"You're In Love, But He's Still On A Dating Site"

LOL.  Well, I guess you can file this under a 'modern day relationship problem'.  I am not sure the protocol for dating someone and initiating the 'get off the website' conversation.  I guess that has to be a little awkward.  And, well, doesn't one party still need to be a member or said site to log in and see the other person is still a part of the site?  How does one know the other is still on the site without being guilty of the same offense!  (Cue for Jimmy Buffett's 'if you like pina coladas'?).

Does anyone have any insight for these peeps?  How does one deal with the dilemma 'you're in love, but he's still on a dating site'?  

Another Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, so most people who know me know I use facebook.  A lot.  And, I, personally, like facebook.

However, I do realize not everyone feels the same.  I do not work for facebook, or desire to impose my facebooking ways on others.

So why, why, why on earth do people make a point of defiantly telling me 'I hate facebook' or 'I don't use facebook' and look at me as if 'well I sure showed you!'  Believe it or not, this happens to me a LOT.  Uh, my name is not Mark Zuckerberg.  It's totally fine that one doesn't use said product.

Editor's sidenote:  I am really not sure what there to 'hate' about facebook.  Well, I see plenty of hate-worthy things, but that's simply the behavior of our fellow human beings, not facebook.  If I wasn't dealing with it on facebook, I'd be encountering it in some other daily interaction.  Maybe there is a lot of it 'in one place', if you will.  But still.  Whatevs.

Anyhow.  A small part of me feels these people secretly just want to make sure they're not being forgotten about (because they are, you know, not on facebook, and so many others are).  That or they want to know if there's anything they are missing out on.  I have several non-facebook-using peeps who ask me for updates on people/things happening on facebook.  I am debating if that's a specific privilege that they, as non-facebookers, should not have.  Hmm.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else encounter people stressing their lack of facebook use?  How do you handle it?

Cheating On My Hair Girl

So I may have touched on this before.  I know I've touched on the subject of getting one's hair done in Chicago before.

So, I have a hair girl.  I like my hair girl.  However, kind of like someone in her first long-term relationship, a part of me wonders what else is out there.  I am generally happy with her work, but I'm uncertain about a couple things.  And I guess, since it's so f*#^&$! expensive, I've started to expect nothing less than perfection.

However, as we all know - sometimes the grass is not greener.  So here is my question - can I go to another hair person, then, in the instance I do not like said person better, can I go back to the old person?  Is it that I've cheated on my hair person?  Or is he or she simply happy to have his or her customer back?  Have any of you ever left a hair person and gone back?   Has anyone ever been confronted by a hair person for someone else having touched his or her hair?  Has anyone ever run into a hair person out in public after having left him or her?  Is this overly paranoid?  Your thoughts?

People Walking and Reading

A couple times throughout the past couple years, I've witnessed a random phenomenon throughout downtown Chicago.  People walking and reading.  I've seen it in the Merchandise Mart.  I've seen it on Michigan Avenue.

I get it that the book is good.  And it get it that you might be at a part where something really interesting is happening.  Maybe a big plot twist is about to be revealed.  I get it.  BUT STILL.  I don't get how one can do this and not crash into something.  I find this infinitely more difficult than walking and texting, and I struggle with that.

Your thoughts?  Do you see people doing this?  Is it just around me?  Have you ever seen anyone walk into a pole or another person whilst doing this?  Is it happening in the suburbs too?  How about other parts of the country?  Do you do this?  Weigh in!

Improv Comedy

So, for various reasons, over the past couple weeks, I've ended up at several 'improv comedy' events.  I like improv, however, I have two issues with it:

1)  It's become a little too prevalent that it's lost its novelty.

2)  I feel anxiety for the actors.  I imagine they are feeling anxiety.  I could be completely wrong.  But I know if I were in their shoes, I'd feel anxiety.  The pressure to be funny.  In front of a live studio audience. Who could potentially be mean and boo.  Or could potentially feel sorry for me and laugh and clap patronizingly.  I am really not sure which would be worse to someone trying to make it in comedic acting.  I actually think it might be the latter.

Anyhow.  Does anyone else feel this way about improv comedy?  I still like it, in spite of those issues.  What are your feelings on improv?  Does everyone else accidentally type improve every freakin' time?  Your thoughts?

Etiquette For Seeing Someone You Know on an Online Dating Site

So as you all know, I occasionally online date, yadda yadda yadda....

It's happened before (as evidenced in this post) and it's happened once again - I saw someone I know in real life on an online dating site.  I was looking through who had viewed my profile and I saw a familiar thumbnail.  I mistakenly looked at his profile (out of curiosity) - he could then see I viewed his profile.  Definitely him (a former coworker).

About half an hour later, I see I got a message.

"Hey!  How is the new job going?"

For some unknown reason, this annoyed me.  It would have been fine write me if he was interested in dating (although I don't return the sentiment).  However, he has my facebook and linkedin info, so he could have asked me this on some other communication platform.  Why do it here?  It almost struck me like he was calling me out - like a 'gotcha' thing.  Ha - I caught you online dating!

Anyhow, I did what I do best with 90% of people contacting me on online dating sites - I ignored it.  About a week later, he facebook messages me.  No avoiding it now....

At first he chit chats with me.  How is the new job going (again)?  Then he comments that he sees me on the online dating site.  He then tells me 'don't worry, he won't mention it to anyone'.  Uh, ok.  I think I laughed it off with a 'ha'.  Then he says something about wanting to keep it a secret that he's on this site.   Then why are you talking about it so much!?!  I just kept changing the subject.  We started talking for a little bit on a random talking point relating to our old workplace for a little bit.

After a short bit I told him I had to get going.  He once again went back to the online dating site and, again, that he won't mention it to anyone that he saw me there (ooh, my dirty secret!?) and that he's not sure what to make of it so far.  I, again, promptly ignored it and said goodbye.

Your thoughts?  What are the rules for seeing someone one knows in real life in an online dating site?  Is one to completely ignore it?  I don't know the proper etiquette, but I am confident this is not it.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else out there have any awkward run ins with real-life peeps in online dating?  

This Was Great, We Should Do This Again Sometime!

So maybe I've been watching a little too much Friends on Nick at Nite....

So, there's the episode where Chandler goes on a date with a woman he ends up not being interest in (Rachel's boss).   At the end of said date, he says 'This was great, I'll give you a call, we should do this again sometime.'  And then, of course, he never calls.

Recently, I went out with a guy.  Towards the end, he brought up that he was having a great time, he would like to hang out again.  As we walked out, he mentioned a restaurant we'd both spoken about earlier in the evening - we should go there together sometime soon.  We went our separate ways (just a friendly goodbye hug - no one night stand, if your mind is going there ;-) ).

Drumroll, please.

As you might expect, he never called.

I can also think of a time I ran into a coworker with which I was acquaintances.   We chatted briefly and he brought up that we should totally get together and catch up for lunch or a happy hour.  Sure, I'd be up for it.  Then as we parted ways, he, again, said we should totally hang out.  Sure, drop me a line.  He has my phone number, email, and facebook.  This was three months ago - no word on the matter.  There had also been times when we'd worked together and we'd spoken of having lunch or going for coffee and it never happened.

One could very easily say I'm reading way too much into this - it simply slipped his mind, he got busy, he's just bad about making plans, etc.  I would even say this, however, he and I have another mutual friend who mentioned him and cited the exact same annoyance - he brings up 'we should hang out' and he doesn't follow through and is flaky when my other friend reaches out and tries to initiate.  This other mutual friend even cited the exact same Friends episode as a reference to him.

My other mutual friend said 'I don't get 'Joe's' deal - it's fine if he doesn't want to be friends with me or hang out, but why does he then bring it up?  I can't really tell if he actually likes me or not.'

Your thoughts? Why do some people talk about making plans and hanging out when they have no intention or desire?  I could see smiling and nodding and going along with it if the other person brought it up, but why suggest it when one has no intention?  Anyone else deal with these kind of people?  I can honestly say I certainly didn't mind that said guy never called me and, although I like said former coworker, it certainly isn't a big deal to me that we never got together.  However, a small part of me ends up feeling annoyed that these people are liars (or something like that).  Your thoughts?