Some Thoughts on Online Dating.... (or, Undateable, Part 3)

Ok, so my friend Matt, being his astute self, as always, was able to accurately predict the foreshadowing in the previous post, 'debating'....

So, long story short, I tried online dating.  I could start making a bunch of silly excuses to justify my having done this (such as, I have tried and blogged about blind dating, speed dating, etc., so this just completed my repertoire, etc.), but I'm not going to - I will address why not later.

Anyhow.  For those who are curious about dating websites (I won't mention the one I tried, but it's a fairly mainstream one), I've compiled a list of thoughts (mostly complaints - let's be honest) on the matter, in no particular or coherent order:

--In one's profile, the requisite explanation of why one is here (e.g. "I got sick of meeting people in bars").  Here's the thing - everyone you meet on said website is, AHEM, ON SAID WEBSITE (most likely for its intended purpose).  So the ridiculous explanation comes off a little trite, and quite possibly arrogant (you see, there's a reason for me being here, unlike all the other losers).  Bonus demerits if you pretend you somehow got finagled into being on said site (so I lost a bet to one of my buddies....) -- all I really hear is Ross Gellar saying 'Ok, so who should I say tricked me into smoking the pot?'

--I have twice been called either a 'nerd' or a 'dork' by a virtual stranger.  Now THAT's a turn-on.  Who doesn't love a good throwback to the junior high lunch room?  If I saw these men in person, would they pull my hair?  Way to disprove that this means of meeting someone is geared toward the socially stunted.

--Listing sexual activity as a 'must have'.  Ok, I get it.   It's important to you, and shouldn't you be honest about your needs, find someone else who has the same desire, blah blah blah.  But you do realize, you are paying for a service, with hopes that said service connects you with some sexual activity.  You are just one step away from using a pimp.

--Works out five times a week or more.  A little obsessive, don't you think?  Read:  you'll notice if I gain five pounds.  I'd rather date a guy who wouldn't notice if I shaved my head.

--In the 'about me' section:  "Uh, it's hard to describe myself....I never know what to say in these things...uhhh...these things are always awkward".  Yes, they are, but think of it this way - you've had time to think about preparing an answer and THIS is what you came up with?  What are you gonna be like on the date?

--Male, age 30 (or higher).  Looking for women age 18-30.   EW EW EW EW EW.  You could date an 18 year old?!  Seriously?!  I don't know which is worse, a 30+ man who could actually relate to and connect with an 18 year old woman on a mental/emotional level, or a 30+ man who could guiltlessly use one for a couple hook ups.  I can't help you, dude, but maybe a good therapist could.

--(In the body of a message) 'So, I am just looking for some fun things to do in Chicago and was wondering if you had any good suggestions'.  This is the cyber-equivalent of 'do you come here often' or 'you look really familiar'.  I get it, it seems like a nice, pleasant conversation starter, but a small part of it just seems moronic because, again, it's an online dating site, not centerstage.com - is that REALLY what you are contacting me for?   How totally savvy.

--Repeatedly getting contacted by the same guy before any form of a response from me.  I think you know my opinion on this one.

--Height:  5'6" (actual height: 5'4").  Height:  5'9" (actual height: 5'7").  If he's claimed to be anything under 6', you can assume he's added at least two inches to his actual height.  I am not sure the probability of it, exactly, but it's pretty much the same odds that a woman will knock ten pounds off her weight.

--Complaining to me that other women you've met through the site are not as good looking in real life as they are in their pictures.  It rubs me the same way as it would you if I were to complain to you about a man taking me out on a date but not paying.

--A man with a picture of himself holding a baby.  Chicks dig a guy who likes babies.  Clever.  REALLY clever.

--"So sick of meeting people in bars".  If I see this tagline one more f'ing time....  Actually, the painfully ironic thing is men in bars can get a little leeway under the assumption that alcohol is partially responsible for some stupid statements/behavior - what's the excuse here?

I am sure there are more that I cannot think of right now.  I can almost guarantee there'll be a follow-up post or 3.  I can honestly say, after having tried this, that I thought maybe I just hadn't met the right guy.  But I have now come to the conclusion that either a) I am way too critical of the men I meet or b) to the single men of the Chicagoland area - it's not me, it's you.  I'm opting for the latter.

One of the Google Ads that Came Up....

Geek 2 Geek Dating
A Geek You Can Love is Nearby Meet & date other geeks
www.Gk2gk.com


Should I be offended? Are any of my readers interested in this site?

Dork is the New Black?

So my friend Jenn raised an interesting point on my post about people claiming they were dorks growing up:

"I tend to make this claim every now and then. I was a dork in H.S. But the fact that I was a dork then, doesn't mean I have transformed into something else now. I'm content (and maybe sometimes proud) that I was, am, and forever will be a dork. I guess the shock factor in my case is that I was even MORE of a dork in H.S. It's hard to believe. Could I beeee any more dorkier?! (I dropped that 'Friends' reference for you. ;) ) "

Thank you for the comment, Friends reference and new blog topic all at once, Jenn.

Now, in my previous post, I was moreso referring to people who say things such as "OMG, I was the biggest dork in high school. Can you EVER believe it?!" in the sense of 'I'm so good-looking, likeable and have so many friends, how could any group of people have ever misjudged me in such a way?!?!'

However, the more I think about it, there are a LOT of people who claim dorkhood (if you will), but not in a "BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!" kind of sense. In fact, I can think of a lot of good friends who make such claims in a completely matter-of-fact sense. The more I think about it, the 'I am/was a dork' claim is really rather pervasive all of a sudden.

Why is that? Are there more dorks out there than we anticipated? What percentage of the population is/was once a dork? It would seem as though it's like 75% of the population. Is 'dork' developing a positive connotation? I personally kind of think people started publicly proclaiming their 'dorkhood' because a) it was different and b) relays some level of being comfortable with oneself ('I might not go with the flow and people might judge me for it, but that's OK'), but I think now it's reached a point of being the trendy thing to do. Is being a dork the new hot thing right now?

That, and what does it really mean to be a dork? Is it having an interest in academics? Is it having an interest in some odd niche subjects? Is it abstaining from bad behavior? Is it being shy/quiet? Is it not being popular?

Please people. Elaborate on this.

Yet Another Pet Peeve...

Ok, this has got to be one of my biggest ones....

When people say 'I was the BIGGEST DORK back in high school'. Why do I hate this? Well, apparently, some hollywood bigshot superstar(s) years ago thought this was a clever/kitchy thing to say for some reason, and now pretty much EVERY FAMOUS PERSON has claimed this. The uniqueness/shock factor has worn off - I am actually ready for a famous person to claim she was the prom queen and be shocked at this point.

Anyhow.

I guess what irritates me the most, per se, is that when a person says something to the extent of 'you might be surprised to learn I was a huge dork growing up', the implication is "I think I'm REALLY hot shit now!" I've heard this not only from hollywood bigshots but also from everyday people I see and meet. In fact, for quite a few of them - and I don't mean this in a bad way in the least of ways - but I'm really NOT surprised. In fact, there's a couple people I've heard claim this where, to be honest, I couldn't really picture it any other way - yet they still made the statement blatantly looking for some 'shock value'.

In fact, I think I've officially decided that the next time someone says 'I was a huge dork growing up, doesn't that surprise you?', I think my response is gonna be 'No, I can so totally see it".