2013 Resolutions

So, with reading The Willpower Instinct and the start of the new year and all - I got to thinking about resolutions.  And, you know, making some.

I have one distinct one that has come to mind.  Drumroll, please....

Be a better blogger.

I know what you're thinking, dear readers.  You've heard it before.  You've heard it again and again.  Instead of talking about blogging, why not actually go and do it?

I know.  Perhaps I've just hit a road bump this past year.  Perhaps I have hit the 'five year itch'.  But I am not giving up.  This blog has quite a few things going for it.

1)  It has existed for five years, which is legendary in the blogosphere.  Five years in the blogosphere is better than five years of marriage in hollywood.  I'm not going to give up at the 10 yard line.  And I never thought I'd use such an analogy.

2)  It is part of BlogHer, which is an excellent, well-respected all female blogging network.  I feel like I got into a prestigious sorority.  The only requirement is that I put out new, relevant content on a regular basis.  I will forge on.

3)  I have some awesome readers.  I HOPE I still have them.  Dear readers - are you there?  It's me, Jaime.

Ok, enough of this.  I had to publicly express this goal.  I figured it would help with accountability and that there'd be a better chance of me not failing at it.

Dear fellow bloggers - how do you forge on?  What do you do when you struggle with finding the time and energy to blog?  What do you do when you struggle for meaningful content?  Please share.

Struggling Blogger

So, as my (now few) loyal readers might have noticed, this blog is struggling.  Or perhaps, this blogger is struggling.  There has not been much posting lately.  This problem has been a bit consistent over time.

I'd like to blame life having gotten busy (which is true), but a) I have always been somewhat busy and b) we always cover our priorities.

Another issue that comes to mind is that I've been struggling to find material.  Some topics I used to write about I've lost interest in (politics), others I feel I've exhausted (dating).

It's not that this blog isn't a priority to me, and it's not that I don't care about it any more.  The best thing I can say to explain this situation is it's as if my blog and I are an old married couple that have hit a rough patch.  I still love my blog.  I still want it to continue.  But for some reason, the feeling I once had for it - the excitement - seems to be lost.

I would like to continue my relationship with my blog.  I hope to get it back.  An honest question, other bloggers - have you struggled in such a way?  What did you do to combat it?  Did you abandon ship/blogging?  I am not sure the average shelf-life of a blog, but I know it is probably shorter than this blog has lasted. Did you come back from a rough patch?  Your thoughts?

Armed & Awkward

So 'My Very Worst Date' has published my story.  Enjoy!

This blog is great (MVWD).  There's a ton of hilarious stories.  Sometimes having random people share their stories can be great.  Whoever created this website had a great idea.  I hope to have an idea like this soon.

Another Challenge of Being A Blogger

I have now, on three separate occasions, caught myself unintentionally 'rewriting' a post I've already done.  Not editing or redoing a post to make it better, but unknowingly 'retelling' an old post as if it's never been told before.

(Imagine the great-aunt at the family party telling some story everyone's heard 18,000 times as if she's never told it before.  That's me.)

I'm glad I've caught it pre-publish each time.  I think there might have been a time a post like this 'slipped through' and one of my loyal readers pointed it out.  But what do I know?  I clearly can't remember what I've already said.  And I pride myself on my great memory.  Le sigh.

Do any of my fellow bloggers also have this problem?  Has anyone out there caught him or herself rewriting a post?  Is it just me?  

Speaking Of Birthdays....

This blog turns four!  That is like 50 in blog years.  That is a very long shelf-life for a blog.  I love you, baby blog!  You make me so very happy!

I Found This Hilariously Accurate

From my blogging network ladies.

I am probably dead to a couple of people.  Or at least, have been at times, but have then, perhaps, been resurrected.  And there may be several who are dead tome for these exact reasons.  

Lululemon

So, as my good friends know, lululemon has quite a grip on me. This past Friday, I attended their factory warehouse sale. It was...well, judge for yourself.

I used to love Great America as a child. This brought back memories...

Thank goodness I have the blogger for iPhone app and was able to get some serious work done whilst waiting.

the beginning stages

I felt like a horse in a corral.

in-line entertainment

the final line before getting in

water bottle I won from lululemon-related trivia

the final haul

I have to say, I was a little disappointed by the sale.  As a lulu-enthusiast, I have seen quite a few of these items before.  It was all 'we made too much' - on a large scale stage.  Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I was secretly hoping for it to be like the Coach Factory Store (or other factory stores) where it's never-before seen merchandise that didn't hit the main line.  I don't necessarily think this was inaccurate marketing on their part or anything like that, I just had higher hopes.  I was able to escape with spending under $100, which really says a lot (knowing me).  

I look forward to their new Spring line.

Getting off to the Right Start

I just downloaded the blogger for iPhone app. I am not sure how good the app is, but at least I am attempting to be a woman of my word.   This will, hopefully, help in my quest to be a better blogger.  

New Year's Resolutions

I have four that are getting carried over into the new year.  I'd feel bad about this, but I was really ambitious with the resolution making this past year, and I succeeded at several big ones.  So I feel ok about not receiving a 100% A+.  One of said failed resolutions was to be a better, more consistent blogger.  As we know, there is always next year.  I hope to, more specifically, do around 20 posts a month.  This year was a hiccup.  My other resolutions are too personal to mention here, but those who know me in real life know them.

What are your new year's resolutions?  Do you bother making resolutions?  Any success stories?  I won't bother asking if there are any failures....

An Angle....

So recently, I read a post by another blogger (I don't have it handy :-() about how hard it is to find an identity for one's blog - does one blog about a certain topic, or just topics as they come to mind?  Does one's blog have to be about something?  What is this blog about?  (I somehow, in some weird way, think of the 'what are we?' relationship talk when I think about this matter...I imagine myself asking my blog 'what, exactly, are you about?').  Anyhow.  As my long-term readers know, I have explored this identity crisis for my blog for a long time.  I have never really come to a conclusion...until now.  After 3+years....

Drumroll, please....

This blog is about personal relationships (not necessarily romantic) and human behavior.  Not every post, obviously, will be on this track - but I will try to have at least one a week on these matters.

Committed to my Blog

So, as I touched on earlier - one of the biggest challenges of being a blogger is coming up with material on a regular basis and consistently posting.  Most blogs don't last more than 6 months to a year.  

I am not one to not own up to something.  This blog has suffered lately - partially out of my busyness (not an acceptable excuse), partially out of a lack of material (again, a good writer will tell you there's no such thing as writer's block - just work through it).  I have noticed my blog has suffered in other respects - complaints from regular readers and fewer comments, to name a few.  I am not happy about this.

Anyhow.  I remember in 6th grade, there was a poster in my homeroom:  Don't make excuses, make improvements.

Since this has been a somewhat consistent problem, I have decided to put forth more effort to fixing it.  I am going to try to make more physical notes on things in life that are worthy of a blog post.  And, more importantly - I have put blogging on my calendar.  I am carving out several times a week dedicated to addressing this blog.  Blogging used to be something I did for fun - I remember times I was rushing home because I had such a great post idea in mind.  Now I am working it into my schedule, homework-style.  I feel like I am part of a married couple that has scheduled sex.  Dear married readers - believe you me, I will not judge you right now.

Do any of my fellow bloggers have similar problems?  How have you gone about combatting them? Your thoughts?  

Get ready for a better, more improved blog.  I'll be back, stronger than before.

Is He Crazy?

So, as my readers know, I am part of a brilliant blog network.  One of my fellow bloggers raised an interesting point.  Basically, the question is if his exes are crazy, is he too?

Now, don't get me wrong, I know firsthand that there are PLENTY of crazy women out there.  However, whenever a guy tells me his ex-gf is crazy, I default to blaming him for either a) doing something to piss her off, and she reacted with the normal human emotion of anger or b) having bad judgment in partners (which then opens the can of worms of 'does he have bad judgment in general? does he not have a keen sense of the obvious? etc., etc.)

What are your thoughts?  When a guy says his ex is crazy, do you take it at face value, or somehow place some of the blame on him like I do?  What if there's more than one crazy ex?  Is this red flag of the year?  Did he then pick you cause he's in a pattern of picking, well, crazies?  Has anyone out there dated a guy with a 'crazy ex' who turned out to be totally normal?   Do normal, functioning members of society sometimes just go crazy on a dime, or did they always have it in them in the first place?!

Promiscuity.

So as most of my readers know, I am now part of a blogging network.  I've discovered quite a few interesting, hilarious, insightful blogs out there - one of them being Hooking Up Smart.

A couple of this blog's recent posts have stirred some thoughts in my mind.  There's a point brought up that men who've, ahem, been around the block, are not the best husband material (don't buy the floor model, ladies!).  Also, there's another post in which the potential economic consequences of promiscuity are outlined.

This lead me to a question.   Let's say, for argument sake, one is completely careful in protecting oneself and others from unwanted pregnancy and any disease (which I know is a bit of a big leap at times) - are there other potential negative consequences of casual hookups?   Are there other unforseen problems with promiscuity?  Or, can it, in the right context, if everyone is on the same page, be harmless?

I know the church and various elders/traditionalists have their views on this.  I have, on many occasions, heard various people insist that there would be no harm to a casual encounter.  Are there other consequences to individuals (or society on the whole) that are not immediately seen by the blind eye?  Or, is there a safe place for some casual, ahem, encounters?   Do some people, at times, see them as necessary?  Your thoughts?  Your own experiences?

Please share.

More Personal?

So recently, a good friend commented that (he or she) thinks my blog needs a little more of a personal touch.

I always appreciate feedback.

The more I thought about this comment - I thought about other blogs.  Most of the blogs I read are people talking about what is going on in their lives.   I've noticed, with the new blog network I've joined (more on this in a little bit), a lot of people do share very detailed personal stories.

Now, I don't intend on changing the format of my blog entirely (dating and relationship opinions, reviews and critiques, random observations, thoughts on facebook, etc.).  However, shall I add in some 'personalized' stories?   Granted, I've always maintained the idea that I enjoyed reading personal stories in the blogs I follow - usually because I know (or feel like I know) the bloggers on a personal level in the first place.  However, I assume the general population does not care about such stories, and I like to think of my blog as one for the general population, and I want to keep it that way.  I assume random strangers don't care to read about what's going on in my life.  However, since I've been part of the 'blogging network', I've been pleasantly surprised by how entertaining it was to read some people's random personal trials and tribulations (especially when they are trainwrecks - I kid!  sort of).  I suppose it's like reading a book - it surprises us how we can get invested in characters we don't really know.

Not that there's a general rule for what a blog should be - but readers, what do you like?  Do you like reading more personal stories?  In-depth posts?  Your thoughts?  (Editor's sidenote:  Dear friends, family and future dates of Jaime - please understand you may end up here....)

Being a Blogger, Part 2

So, whilst being a part of the 'blogging community' (if you will) - I discovered someone else's brilliant blog:

My Very Worst Date

Dear two gentleman who I'll hopefully never see again who shall remain nameless:

Your stories are about to be told.  I will gently change your names because I believe in protecting the (not-so) innocent.

You're Welcome,

Jaime

(Editor's sidenote:  How are there two 'worsts'?  By definition, that doesn't work, you say?  Explanation to come.  Cliff notes version:  one was worse to spend time with, but the other left me with the bill - so, give and take.)  

The Biggest Challenge of Being a Blogger

What is the biggest challenge of being a blogger, dear readers?  Consistently putting out material.  (Nevermind whether or not it's GOOD, meaningful, substantial material.  That's another can of worms in and of itself.)

I remember reading a statistic somewhere about how half the blogs out there on any given day won't be in existence a year from it.  I notice quite a few of the blogs I enjoy and follow haven't updated in quite a while.  I notice there are often longs gaps between updates; I also notice some blogs slowing down in their regularity of updates.

I am curious why this might be - other than the obvious 'life is busy'.  Is that it?  Is it a lack of material?  I feel I have exhausted several subjects I have enjoyed writing about in the past.  Is it a lack of an outside motivating factor?  Since most bloggers' blogging is a self-employed experience - is it that there are no deadlines and little to no consequences for not putting out new material regularly that plagues us?  Now, I've always liked to think that I'm a rather self-motivated person - however, there are several things over the past couple years that I decided, on my own, that I wanted to accomplish.  Not all of these things have been done.  I've been super busy is a good go-to excuse.  

Anyhow.  Do my fellow bloggers agree that this is the biggest challenge?  How do you stay on top of blogging regularly?  What does the rest of the blogging community do to combat these challenges?  Where do my fellow bloggers get their material?  How do you all stay motivated?  Your thoughts?  

Speaking of Birthdays....

Next week Thursday, March 17 (also St. Patrick's Day), raise your glass of beer and make a luck o' the Irish toast in honor of this blog - it turns 3!!

Suggestions on what to get my blog for her birthday?  I am thinking more readers.  Or more subscribers. Or more commenters.  Hint hint.

Running Out of Topics....

Ok, I know this blog has been slacking lately.  I also know there have been quite a few posts about how this blog has been slacking lately (of the few posts I've written).  Oops.

Ok - so I know we've also been through this before, but what do I discuss on this blog?
--Politics (a little dead for now)
--My dating life (perhaps also a little dead/also - do you care?)
--Random things going on in my life (do you care?)
--Random observations I make about stuff (I'm running out of observations that haven't already been stated/recurring them of 'do you care')

Anyhow.  I pride myself on the fact that this blog discusses topics that I believe to be of interest (humor me people).  Please let me know any topics I should cover/observe/weigh in on.

From Kellie.

This gift was given with the intention of it 'making the blog'.  These things I just know.

I Should be Embarrassed, Part 215

So one of my favorite movies to get me in 'the Christmas Spirit' is 'A Very Brady Christmas'.  As described on this blog, it's cheesy and schmaltzy (love that word!!!).  It reminds me of my childhood.

I try to make a point of catching this every Christmas season (along with Home Alone, Christmas Vacation, The Family Stone, and all the Friends and Office Christmas episodes).  Most people I know go for the classics - like White Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street.  It's not that I have anything against those movies.  I guess I am just slightly more commercialized.

It looks (from the comments in the aforementioned blog) that the show is on later this season, airing only once.  I am going to have to do my best to catch it.