On A Hetox/Guyatus

Yep, you read that right.  For the past couple years, I've done/tried it all.  Speed-dating. Set up blind-dates. Match. E-harm. OKCupid. Tinder.  I grimace as I write out this list. 

It's not that I haven't found Mr. Right (well, I haven't, but that's beside the point).  It's just that, in the words of my girl, Taylor Swift 'I just, I mean, this is exhausting'. 

The e-mails.  The awkward conversations with strangers.  The texting.  The creepers.  I just don't have time.  Or rather, I just don't care to do this with my time.  I keep busy with work.  I have a good amount of good friends & family I try to keep in touch with.  I take dance class.  I work out.  I am in the process of attempting to learn coding.  I'm trying to read more.  I'm struggling to keep up this blog.  You get the drift. 

That, and, not to pick on online dating especially (which I really truly think there is nothing wrong with, and I know several great couples, some married/engaged, who started with a wink) - but oh goodness, it's a headache and a half some times.  There's the guys who write long, detailed, five paragraph essay emails.  There's the guys who write emails for weeks but don't make any attempt to ask me out.  There's the guys who write emails blatantly looking for a casual sexual relationship (even when I specified in my profile I was not open to said idea). There's the blatant control+copy+paste emails.  There's the 'this isn't in a foreign language, but it isn't quite English, either' emails.  And all the while, I can't help but think that there's a college friend I owe an email to, and here I am sorting through this crap instead.  

Back in my college days/early twenties, I hadn't gone on nearly as many dates as I have over the past couple years (grimace again), but all the guys that were asking me out or taking me out on dates appeared to really be interested in me.  The ones who kept calling, well, I knew they liked me.  Maybe it was because they met me prior to the first date in some way or another, maybe it was because there wasn't a seemingly large mass pool of potential singles as one's fingertips, but I feel nowadays it seems like there will be guys that ask me out and continue to talk to me, but I cannot make heads or tails of whether or not they are into me.  Perhaps they are casting a wide net.  Or keeping their options open.  I dunno.  What I do know, though, is that in all seriousness, I question if I could successfully notice a great guy trying to get my attention amongst all this white noise.

Something in me snapped the other day.  It must have been the 8th coupon in a row to reactivate e-harm.  I promptly went on an deleted my profile (which, another can of worms, and perhaps a blog topic - was not easy to do!).  Next - match - gone!  Tinder - deleted.  Okcupid - still there (because filling out all the questions was an extensive process), but I won't be checking it, except for material for this blog.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not anti-dating right now, I am just not doing anything that would constitute 'trying to meet someone'.  If I happen to stumble upon a great guy and he asks me out in some way, I will go.  But no dating sites, no blind dates - nothing that requires, well, time or effort.

That, and the other day, a friend made a good point.  We were discussing another friend who is dating a good guy (and it seems to be getting more serious).  Prior to dating this guy, said friend had a not-as-great relationship.  My other friend mentioned to her not to put up with it because "once you meet the right guy, things will be easy".  I wholly agree with this sentiment.

Armed & Awkward

So 'My Very Worst Date' has published my story.  Enjoy!

This blog is great (MVWD).  There's a ton of hilarious stories.  Sometimes having random people share their stories can be great.  Whoever created this website had a great idea.  I hope to have an idea like this soon.

Just FYI

Speed dater this Wednesday.  Hopefully something good will come out of it.

I have a hunch on these things. Often times, groups of girlfriends will sign up for these just for kicks, thinking, worst case scenario, 'my girlfriends and I can laugh out this on a later date, so it'll be fun'. So, I feel there is probably not a problem filling up these events with girls. However, I wonder about the guys at these events. Do a couple guys get together and say 'ooh, hey, let's do this - sounds like fun!' I just don't really see it that way.

Should be interesting. Time will tell.

So I Speed-Dated....

Hmm, let's see what's to report....

I met 11 guys. I had five mutual matches. I may be going out with two of them (as of now). Here's hoping they don't find this blog via google-stalking.

Hmm. What's more to say? Well, I enjoyed the experience. As I said, I met 11 guys, for five minutes each. I would have preferred to meet more guys for, say, 3 minutes each. There were some guys who I felt were nice, decent people, however, I didn't necessarily want to date them, but I felt I could want to be friends with them.

Anyhow.

There was only one 'stand out' moment, if you will. One guy walks up to the table. We are wearing name tags, mind you. He looks over at my name tag. "Don't worry," he assures me, "I'm not staring at your boob." Wow. He got the word boob in in under 5 seconds. He then went on to ask me when my last relationship was and why it failed. (Anything from boob, though, was a step in the right direction. Well, almost anything.) Anyhow. He then segued into something about how, with girls he used to date, he used to lead them on.... Needless to say, he was not listed as a match on my end.

All in all, I enjoyed this event. I would do such a thing again. Definitely an event a person needs to go to with a friend. Definitely fun, but I can't say I had any bad experiences. If I acquire a stalker over the next couple weeks, I might be singing a different tune.

Update to come.

Rejection

Last night, I faced the ultimate form of rejection. My speed dating was CANCELED. Well, it was rescheduled because the organizer had the flu (or had to wash her hair. whatever).

Anyhow. It has been rescheduled for MARCH. Wtflock? That's a month away. What if it gets canceled/rescheduled AGAIN? Is this a scam? Did they just take my $28 and run? I was supposed to come back with all this good blogging material. Sigh. Maybe by the time speed dating actually happens, everyone who was signed up for the original session will be off married living in the burbs with 2.5 kids. Sigh.

Is this a sign? A good one or a bad one? Your thoughts?

Fine Print

I got an email today confirming my enrollment in speed dating.

The ever-observant Emily noticed something I missed:

(INSERT COMPANY NAME) DOES NOT CONDUCT BACKGROUND CHECKS ON THE MEMBERS OR SUBSCRIBERS OF THIS WEBSITE

Oh dear.

Signed Up!

I'm going speed dating. One of my friends (of the facebook variety) suggested I show up in skates and a helmet and say I thought I was here for speed skating. I'm thinking of wearing the skates to show my undying love for figure skating. I hear dudes dig that.

Speed Dating

So, as most of my readers know, I'm single. I often times wonder if I wasn't single, where would I get a good 1/3 of my blogging material? Would this blog shut down? Or would a lot of my material switch over to bitching about my boyfriend?

Anyhow.

So I'm single, and naturally, everyone and his/her mother is losing sleep over this fact. (They should try a nice vino before bed. Or Ambien. But never both at once!!) I digress. So I'm single. And I just got 'facebook invited' to an event entitled 'speed dating'. You probably all know the gist....a bunch of single guys, a bunch of single girls, each get a couple minutes to chat, then rotate to the next - in essence, one meets a lot of other single people in a short period of time.

Now, at heart, I think there's a very good idea here. However, the one gripe I noticed - $35 for one night!?! Really? REALLY? Now, don't get me wrong - it's not that I find this expensive....it's moreso that I don't know that I'm that interested in attending this event alone and paying this much for it. Are any of my single female friends living in the city of Chicago up for this? Do I have any single female friends living in the city of Chicago? I feel I could possibly walk away with some good blogging material....

Your thoughts? Anyone want to accompany me to speed dating? Anyone out there tried speed dating? Is speed dating worthwhile? Better/worse than online dating? (Editor's Sidenote: I hold George Costanza's view on dating/relationships. That sentence in and of itself oozes with problems. However, I've blogged about this before - George basically says if there's not a good meeting story, the relationship is shot to shit. I know plenty of happy people in happy relationships who can contradict him, however, I'm maintaining this view - for myself and my own life, at least - on this one.)