A Picture's Worth a 1000 Words

This is the caricaturist's interpretation of me.

He nailed the bangs, forehead, fingernails, and earrings.  Oh, and glass of wine.

Time For A Quote

I came across this quote the other day:

It’s odd when I think of the arc of my life, from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn’t know who I was. Then I invented someone, and became her. Then I began to like what I’d invented. And finally I was what I was again.

Isn't it SO true?

A Grammatically Incorrect Observation

I've noticed there's something I do regularly that, by all standards for the English language, is technically 'wrong'.

I start sentences with 'and'.  AND I do it a lot.  

I'd like to take this moment to make it clear that I DO IT WITH PURPOSE.

An Official Mark Of Shame....

....if you can successfully correctly identify this logo.  Just sayin'.

Is Anyone Else Even Trying?

Maybe I should cheer because the home team is on a winning streak?

Another Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, so most people who know me know I use facebook.  A lot.  And, I, personally, like facebook.

However, I do realize not everyone feels the same.  I do not work for facebook, or desire to impose my facebooking ways on others.

So why, why, why on earth do people make a point of defiantly telling me 'I hate facebook' or 'I don't use facebook' and look at me as if 'well I sure showed you!'  Believe it or not, this happens to me a LOT.  Uh, my name is not Mark Zuckerberg.  It's totally fine that one doesn't use said product.

Editor's sidenote:  I am really not sure what there to 'hate' about facebook.  Well, I see plenty of hate-worthy things, but that's simply the behavior of our fellow human beings, not facebook.  If I wasn't dealing with it on facebook, I'd be encountering it in some other daily interaction.  Maybe there is a lot of it 'in one place', if you will.  But still.  Whatevs.

Anyhow.  A small part of me feels these people secretly just want to make sure they're not being forgotten about (because they are, you know, not on facebook, and so many others are).  That or they want to know if there's anything they are missing out on.  I have several non-facebook-using peeps who ask me for updates on people/things happening on facebook.  I am debating if that's a specific privilege that they, as non-facebookers, should not have.  Hmm.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else encounter people stressing their lack of facebook use?  How do you handle it?

A Word On Martha Stewart

Ok, guilty pleasure - I LOVE Martha Stewart.  It might be her craftiness.  It might be that she's a powerful, successful, independent woman who likes domestic things.

However, a small part of me really likes Martha Stewart because of her story is a comeback story.  She was in jail.  She paid her dues.  She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and kept doing what she loved and now, it's as if it never happened.  She did, in theory, what jailbirds are supposed to do - she went back to being a functioning member of society.  I realize she's definitely not your average american (or average jailbird), but I think she can really set the example here.

Anyhow - I LOVE her lines at Macy's, etc.  And I think when it comes to celebrity comebacks, she kicks Britney's ass!

Nicotine Patch

Let's call this attempting to get an expression going, take 2.

Nicotine Patch (n.) - the person one is using to distract oneself in the interim of weaning oneself off someone else.  Also commonly referred to as the 'rebound' - one can't have or knows he/she shouldn't have the one he/she really wants, so he/she goes with an available distraction, or, if you will, a nicotine patch.  Often used after romantic break-ups, but not necessarily specific to them.

I referred to the guy my one of my friends casually saw after the breakup of her long-term relationship as a 'nicotine patch'.   Also, I remember a time when when I was, ahem, "not speaking" (dun dun dun!) to someone I had talked to on a very regular basis.  I ran into someone who was a casual friend of said person.  She brought up this person and said 'yeah, I have talked to so-and-so more in the past couple weeks than I have in the past three years!'  I simply smirked to myself, thinking, 'oh sweetie, you're merely a cheap substitute for me'.

Moral of the story:  never be anyone's nicotine patch.  You're better than that.

In The Spirit Of Tax Season

It's a little belated.  Hey, I was doing my taxes.

A Knife, A Penny....

This is a set of nice kitchen knives I received for my birthday (per my request).  As you can see, there is a penny affixed to the package.

When I was young, I was taught of a superstition that when one gives another a sharp object (a knife, scissors, pins, etc), the other party needs to give one a penny in return, otherwise a fight will result.  My mom (sorry Mom) supported this with the example of the fact that my boyfriend at the time and I had just had an argument, and the pins from the corsage he gave me at our recent high school dance resided on our counter.

I've been plagued with randomly handing over pennies at various moments when I needed to borrow scissors in a pinch, etc.  When I received this recent gift, it had a penny attached.  My mom explained that the person in front of her in line was also buying a sharp object as a gift (story in question - again, sorry Mom), and the sales lady suggested this person tape a penny to the package to 'negate the energy'.  So my mom followed in suit.  However, she said she is uncertain this effectively 'works', and casually dropped 'or I can give her 14 pennies, whenever convenient' on several occasions.  (There are 14 knives in this set.)

Has anyone else heard of this superstition?  Is there an 'old wives tale' regarding the exchanging of sharp objects being bad luck.  Does a penny really undo it?  Are there others who abide by this superstition?  Your thoughts?

Disappointment

File this under random and completely pointless, but check out this link.

#12 is speaking to me.  Don't tell me if you agree with it.  I simply don't want to hear it.

From Southwest, With Love?

Thanks for the first birthday wish, Southwest Airlines.  

Improv Comedy

So, for various reasons, over the past couple weeks, I've ended up at several 'improv comedy' events.  I like improv, however, I have two issues with it:

1)  It's become a little too prevalent that it's lost its novelty.

2)  I feel anxiety for the actors.  I imagine they are feeling anxiety.  I could be completely wrong.  But I know if I were in their shoes, I'd feel anxiety.  The pressure to be funny.  In front of a live studio audience. Who could potentially be mean and boo.  Or could potentially feel sorry for me and laugh and clap patronizingly.  I am really not sure which would be worse to someone trying to make it in comedic acting.  I actually think it might be the latter.

Anyhow.  Does anyone else feel this way about improv comedy?  I still like it, in spite of those issues.  What are your feelings on improv?  Does everyone else accidentally type improve every freakin' time?  Your thoughts?

Pyramid Schemes

So the other day, a friend of mine from college I haven't spoken to in a couple years facebook chats me.  I haven't talked to her in quite a while and it seems rather out of the blue, but I always liked her.  The conversation goes something like this.  Let's, for now, call her Sara (not her real name).

Sara:  Hey!!

Jaime:  Hey girl!

Sara:  How are you?

Me:  Good, how are you doing?

(insert a little bit of what have you been up to, where do you live these days, where do you work, etc)

Me:  I work at a small ad agency, how about you?

Sara:  I work at XXX company and I have my own business as well.

(Editor's sidenote:  Yes, I immediately see the red flag as well.)

Me:  How is that going?  Do you like that?

Sara:  XXX Company, no.  My own business, yes.

Me:  (Hmm, what do I do here?!)

Well, one out of two ain't bad?

(The conversation seems to have it a lull.  I should have let it die its own peaceful death on its own, but fool that I am, I thought we were just catching up.)

What kind of business do you have?

Sara:  Let me tell you all about it!  Do you have 20 minutes?!

Me:  Uh, no.  I was just gonna go return a phone call.  Maybe you can give me a one minute synopsis.

Sara:  How about we talk tomorrow.

Me:  Uh, ok.... (At this point I don't know what to do.  I'm not averse to talking to her again, but not for the obvious reasons she wants to talk.)

Sara:  What's your phone number?

At this point, I passively close the chat, get up, and walk away from the computer.  I don't feel too bad about it because she clearly doesn't feel bad about harassing me to try to join in her pyramid scheme.  I was afraid I would have to block her from chatting or, awkwardly, be pretty blunt that I don't want to hear about her business opportunity.  I do some further facebook research and I see, from her page, that she's clearly been suckered in.  She's found a solution to all her problems in this wonderful get rich quick scheme she's found. She will soon be a wealthy, independent business owner.  And she has quite the network of people who are in this with her.  I see people commenting on the fact that she's gotten suckered.   I see people who've also gotten suckered defending their ways and criticizing the others for 'being cynical and negative!'

What I was most surprised about is, knowing this girl back in college, she seemed like a reasonably smart, logical girl.  I know she has a college education.  She, in theory, is has potential for doing so much better than this.  Is it the bad economy?  Have people gotten desperate?  Have people gotten hopeless?  The other day in a coffee shop, I heard someone pitching a pyramid scheme to a poor innocent sap.  From some facebook posts made by other friends, it seems as though this friend might not be alone.  Is it easier in these times to get suckered into something?  Does anyone actually like being in a pyramid scheme?  Does anyone enjoy harassing their friends/family/people they know?  I am not sure I am someone who is up for cold calling in general; I'd be very hesitant to cold call on my own personal network (as opposed strangers holding roles in businesses).  Is there anyone in a pyramid scheme who is actually happy?  (Other than the obvious one person at the top.)

Know Your Stuff

Remember, you can blame Jeannine for the someecards kick.

An Error Message I Could Deal With

Why yes, yes I would.  

Trying to Trend a New Expression

So, as you all know, I am a very avid user of Facebook.

On quite a few occasions, I've seen people like their own status or comment.

I have a term for this.

Facebook masturbation.

You heard it here first.

Spotify, Etc.

So, I have a couple friends who use this thing called Spotify. I am not an expert on the matter at all, so I might be completely wrong at how it works, but to my understanding - one can listen to any song of choice for free - it just needs to be broadcast on a social network.

This, for me, would be a nightmare. Or at least, not worth it to use, under any circumstances. I don't like being judged on my music choices. Sometimes I am craving the most obscure song. In fact, when I find myself 'craving' a song, if you will, it's usually the pickles and ice cream of songs. I'd have no desire to broadcast that to 800 people I may or may not somewhat know. That, and, well, sometimes when I find a song I really like - it goes on repeat...A LOT.

That, and a friend brought up another point. It was a Friday night. She wanted to hear a song, but, you know, then she'd be broadcasting to all of the fbook community that she's sitting at her computer on a Friday night.

Not to mention, well, I have quite a few facebook friends who use these programs, and, well, I have found quite a few of their choices, well, interesting....

Anyhow. Your thoughts? Do you use these programs? All I know is, for the privacy, I will gladly shell out the dollar for the song on i-tunes or wherever....

Are You Sure It's Not the Carburetor?

(click to enlarge)

Kangoo, Part Twooo!

So, earlier I reported on the subject of 'Kangoo Jumps' and how much fun they look.   If definitely looks like a fun workout and it also looks like it really gets the cardiovascular system going, however, not that this matters, but, there is something about them that is, for me, hard to take seriously.

Well, I was looking at their website.  They, apparently, SHOULD be taken VERY seriously.  There are a LOT of health benefits.  This is nothing to laugh about.  They are seriously going to change your life for the better.  And to think I was going to invest in botox - these bad boys come with a built in face lift!

Have any of my readers tried these out?  Your thoughts?  Are they as fun as they look?