Going Places Alone

So, as all my readers who know me know, I am the single gal living in Chicago.  This coming weekend is Halloween (observed).

A friend of mine who is not part of my usual circle is hosting a party and, well, facebook-invited me.  I really like said friend and would like to see her apartment, meet her boyfriend, meet her other friends, etc.  Hey, fresh meat!

It just so happens that the handful of people she and I mutually know have prior engagements.  This means yours truly will be showing up at the party solo.  This is fine by me - like I said, I know the host.  She is a nice person, so I assume she will have some other friends at the event that are nice people.  If, for some reason, it gets really awkward or I have no one to talk to or some issue, I will leave - I don't plan on staying long anyway.

I pride myself on being an independent person, so I am fine with going places alone.  Recently, there was a good friend's surprise birthday party with a similiar circumstance.  The three people I was friends with - the birthday boy, his girlfriend, and his sister were all out to dinner, so I showed up at the bar beforehand, alone, and spent about an hour/hour and a half with his random friends - all nice friendly people.

This leaves me wondering two things.  1)  Is this normal?  Do other people feel ok showing up at bars/parties/various places alone?   Am I in the minority, or is this completely and totally normal?   I know back in high school and even college, I would not have felt ok showing up anywhere alone. And, if my readers remember correctly, I, for some reason, did not feel safe showing up at my high school reunion alone.  Anyhow.

Secondly - is there something weird about a person who shows up alone to other people?  Again, I know back in high school/college, there would have been some stigma attached.  Is that still the case?  As Carrie Bradshaw would claim - singles' discrimination!  (SINGLES AT THE COUNTER!)  Is that one of the greatest perks of dating someone?  Having someone to drag to all kinds of events?  I swear, once, someone dated me simply for the reason that he wanted me to accompany him to 'girlfriend' stuff.   I digress.

Anyhow.  What's your personal policy on people who go places alone?  Is it normal, or is there some stigma attached?  Do you go places alone?  Your thoughts?

A Sex in the City Quote to Break Up Some Monotony

Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?

Sooooo true!!

A Legit Response to Marek's Post

Ok.  Here's what I have to say in response to 'ten ways to get a guy to commit' and Marek's article on 'why you're not married'.

Here's my gripe(s):  How come it's ALWAYS women who need to work on getting men to commit?  And, how come the question of 'why are you single?' is always directed at women?

I feel like, back 30 years ago, people weren't as monogamous when dating - and it was men who were pursuing women and trying to get them to commit.  Now the tables have turned on us.  Fellow women - I ponder aloud - WTF?  How come we never hear 'how to get a girl to commit'?

Also, how come men are never asked why they're single?  I know this has been beaten into the ground, but how come single men are viewed as free and single women are pitied?  Men are never embarrassed to be single - they are often proud of it.  Case in point - I was talking to Marek earlier.  I asked him why he wasn't married.  His response:  why be tied down with one when you can be free and date many?   Oh Marek.  The ladies' man.

Why are things this way?  Or, I guess, more aptly - what can be done to fix it?  Ladies, we need to take back some control here I think.

Rejection

Last night, I faced the ultimate form of rejection. My speed dating was CANCELED. Well, it was rescheduled because the organizer had the flu (or had to wash her hair. whatever).

Anyhow. It has been rescheduled for MARCH. Wtflock? That's a month away. What if it gets canceled/rescheduled AGAIN? Is this a scam? Did they just take my $28 and run? I was supposed to come back with all this good blogging material. Sigh. Maybe by the time speed dating actually happens, everyone who was signed up for the original session will be off married living in the burbs with 2.5 kids. Sigh.

Is this a sign? A good one or a bad one? Your thoughts?

Speed Dating

So, as most of my readers know, I'm single. I often times wonder if I wasn't single, where would I get a good 1/3 of my blogging material? Would this blog shut down? Or would a lot of my material switch over to bitching about my boyfriend?

Anyhow.

So I'm single, and naturally, everyone and his/her mother is losing sleep over this fact. (They should try a nice vino before bed. Or Ambien. But never both at once!!) I digress. So I'm single. And I just got 'facebook invited' to an event entitled 'speed dating'. You probably all know the gist....a bunch of single guys, a bunch of single girls, each get a couple minutes to chat, then rotate to the next - in essence, one meets a lot of other single people in a short period of time.

Now, at heart, I think there's a very good idea here. However, the one gripe I noticed - $35 for one night!?! Really? REALLY? Now, don't get me wrong - it's not that I find this expensive....it's moreso that I don't know that I'm that interested in attending this event alone and paying this much for it. Are any of my single female friends living in the city of Chicago up for this? Do I have any single female friends living in the city of Chicago? I feel I could possibly walk away with some good blogging material....

Your thoughts? Anyone want to accompany me to speed dating? Anyone out there tried speed dating? Is speed dating worthwhile? Better/worse than online dating? (Editor's Sidenote: I hold George Costanza's view on dating/relationships. That sentence in and of itself oozes with problems. However, I've blogged about this before - George basically says if there's not a good meeting story, the relationship is shot to shit. I know plenty of happy people in happy relationships who can contradict him, however, I'm maintaining this view - for myself and my own life, at least - on this one.)

Serial Monogamists

Ok. You know what I don't get - girls who always have boyfriends. And I'm not talking the same boyfriend - they're never single and they've been in like 10 serious relationships by age 25. They break up with one guy and have a new one less than a week later. They have existed long before the world of online dating started, so that cannot be attributed to contributing to this group (although maybe it has made things easier for them).

I have known quite a few girls who fit this description. There is no one common denominator amongst them. I have seen some that I would describe as very pretty; I have seen some that I'd say 'not so much' to. It's not as though this group of girls is, specifically, as I'd see it, all of the girls who are simply the most desirable to men, although maybe I'm wrong on this - I'm not a guy and I don't know what's going on in their head.

I don't think I need to go any further - because everyone I know, male and female, knows the kind of girls I'm talking about. they are serial monogamists (and I know their male counterparts exist).

Here's what I don't get about these girls - do they REALLY like pretty much every guy out there? Could they fall in love with anyone? Anything?

For me personally, I haven't even really met that many people I've quote-unquote like liked. At least not seriously. I'm not talking about a little crush. And I don't really understand how other people can say they have. I don't think it's possible to be compatible with all that many people out there. For me personally, I don't understand how someone my age could have been in love more than 2-3 times. I don't see how someone could have been in that many serious relationships. For some of my friends who have been in multiple long-term relationships - some will say that for earlier relationships, they may have thought they were in love but they now realize that it was just youthful naiveté.

Anyhow. I actually really think these people are just too insecure to be single and they think they're in love with everyone who crosses their path because these people temporarily abate their insecurities. I really wonder what goes through this group of individual's heads - do they know, themselves, that they're not really crazy about each person? Do they seriously think they're crazy about each person? Are they trying to convince themselves that they are more crazy about this person than they were with the previous 11? All I know is that, with some people I know, I laugh when they introduce me to their 'new guy who is DEFINITELY the one - even though it's early, they've NEVER felt this way about anyone before'.

I realize I may sound like the angry single girl at the moment, but I swear that's not the case. I have a coworker who, let's just say, is at that stage in life where he says EXACTLY what he thinks, for better or for worse. The other day, we were talking, and he said 'You know, I really don't like that many people. My wife yells at me that I shouldn't be this way. It's not that I dislike people; it's more that there just aren't many that I can honestly say I really like." I think he and I are on the same wavelength on this one.

ANOTHER Facebook Complaint

So I have a brand new facebook friend. She is joining facebook for the first time. She began to fill out her profile and listed herself as 'single'. The logo for listing oneself as single is, apparently, a heart sliced right across the mid-section (which most would refer to, upon viewing, as a 'broken heart'). She is not single in the sense that she's getting out of a relationship, but single in the sense that it's just what she is. Facebook feels this deserves a 'broken heart' graphic.

Isn't this a little....depressing? Borderline offensive? Seriously, facebook.

Single for the Holidays

So, as most of you know, I am single.  Some people have a problem being single at the holidays, however, I don't.  I think it's one thing if there's a significant other who has been around for a long time and already knows the family, however, for me personally, having to go meet all of someone's extended family, or more difficult, having to bring someone to meet all of my extended family would be somewhat stressful no matter how excited I am about the relationship.  

I guess I personally prefer to be single at times like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc., because I prefer to go and relax with my family and be in my comfort zone of the holiday celebration I am used to.   However, oddly, some of the other members of my age group in my family seem to have no problem bringing a date to any and every family event, even if they've only been dating the person for a couple weeks.  I know some friends who will also bring someone they just started dating home to meet not only parents and siblings but also the whole entire extended family early on.  I am not sure if the point is to show off that they are, indeed, dating someone (and therefore dateable), or if this is just the standard way to operate for them and I personally don't understand it.   

Your thoughts?  Are any of you sad to be single at the holidays?  

Guestless in Chicago

So, over the past couple years, I've gotten invited to weddings without (what I thought was) the requisite "and guest".  I've got one of said weddings coming up in two weeks.  

It's a family wedding, so I wouldn't bring a guest anyway, unless I was in a relationship - it's not like I won't know anyone there, and it'd be a bit intense to bring a casual date to sit with my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  

Now, don't get me wrong - I get that weddings are uber-expensive.  I get that this is a 'cost cutting' measure.

However, I have to wave a flag here - the flag of 'singles discrimination'.  It's very rare that married couples, or people in long-term relationships, get the guest snub when getting invited to weddings.  Even if the bride and groom have both never met a friend's spouse, he or she automatically gets an invite extended - however, someone like me can't bring a 'stranger'?!

I kind of think it's crap - namely, because, in my mind, the purpose of the guest is so that the attendees will have someone to talk if he or she doesn't know many people who are going to be at the wedding.   I have some friends who purposely didn't go to a wedding because they wouldn't know anyone there.  I am not sure I'm feeling this new 'no guest' movement.

However, very recently, I was informed that I am on the a-list for a VERY a-list event.  I got mail!  Namely, I got an invite to MEG RYAN's wedding!  

Of course, someone like Meg Ryan definitely extended me a guest.  And you know what?  I am going to show her my appreciation for that by NOT bringing one.  :)