Responding to Facebook Birthday Greetings

I have a curious question that I feel is quite relevant in this day & age - what is the proper protocol for responding to a facebook birthday greeting?

In my personal opinion, I prefer a big, general 'thanks everyone for the birthday wishes' status, at some point the day of or a couple days after said blessed event.  Yes, it's impersonal, but so is a facebook birthday greeting.  Let's be honest here.

I've notice that responding to/acknowledging each individual birthday greeting has become the common practice.  Although I appreciate the sentiment, I must wonder - is this really necessary?  I wasn't thinking too much about the facebook birthday greeting I extended.  It wasn't a $200 wedding gift.  A mere 30 seconds after it happened, I forgot about it.  I wasn't worried that it got lost in the mail or that it, in some way, wasn't received.

Some people choose to 'like' the greeting.  Some comment 'thank you'.  Some do both.  Some comment 'thank you, Jaime' and tag me in the thank you note.  Notifications up the wazoo.  Too much.  Tooooo much.

It's not that I have a problem with people being polite and going the extra mile to show something was appreciated, it's just that, well, as an avid facebook poster like myself, when I see I got a notification or two, I can't help but feel a little bit of a letdown when I see that it's my high school chem lab partner liked my birthday greeting.

What are your thoughts on responding to facebook birthday greetings?  Do you do one mass response? An individual one for each?  Has anyone out there been offended that his/her 'hbd' was not individually acknowledged?  Anyone touched that someone really went the extra mile to Like/Comment "Thank you so much (your name tagged here) for telling me happy birthday - really appreciate it!"

Your thoughts?

Whatcha Eatin?

I'm posting this because it's hilarious, even though I'm one of the biggest offenders:

Why have we started doing this?  Is this like when someone posts on facebook 'omg, I love my bf soooo much' - like they're trying to prove a point?  What point are we trying to make?  That we're well-fed?  

Absolutely Terrifying

Another Facebook Post

The other day, a good friend of mine and I were out to dinner, talking about a mutual acquaintance, who happens to have deactivated her facebook account a while ago.  My friend (the one that I was dining with) said she contacted said other friend to tell her about something she'd posted on facebook, because she didn't want her to be 'out of the loop' if you will.

"Oh, I already saw that.  Yeah, I log onto (enter other mutual friend's name) facebook all the time."

Well then.  Let me tell you, said friend initially deactivated facebook because 'she was sick of it', not because of a work/life privacy issue.

I have heard this before out of some other people - I know of more than one instance of someone quitting facebook out of 'hating facebook', then logging on under someone else's account.

Dear people who do this - you realize you are simply the people who throw out the cookies cause you're on a diet, then dig through the trash and eat them anyway?  I just wanted to make that clear.  

Music & Lyrics

The other day on the radio (on Eric & Kathy, duh), I heard an interesting statement:

"Happy people listen to the music, sad people listen to the lyrics."

I don't know about you, but I find this to be SO true.  I think maybe sad people are looking for comfort in the lyrics, either in the form of advice or in a 'misery loves company'-esque way.  I know there were hard times in my life when I've found comfort in music lyrics.

What are your thoughts?  Do you agree with this?  Is it fair for me to make certain assumptions about people who constantly post song lyrics in their facebook statuses?  

In the Words of Betty White

"Facebook just sounds like a drag.  In my day, seeing pictures of people's vacations was considered punishment." ~ Betty White whilst hosting SNL

I've been out of town for two weeks.  Get ready to be punished!

Addiction Problems?

So I have several friends who've 'quit facebook' recently.

In a couple incidents - I've asked said friends why, exactly, they quit good ole friendcentral.

"I've just been super-busy.  I haven't had the time for it."

or

"I had to quit.  It was too distracting."

Now, not to judge - but couldn't one just....not log in?

Again, no judgment.  I understand addictions.  I haven't been able to cut it under 3 cups of coffee a day. I understand addictions to facebook.  But, well....

Just sayin'.

ANOTHER Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, another facebook pet peeve.  It's been a little bit.

I hate it when people comment on stuff that doesn't pertain to them.  One of my friends posted asking if anyone had a book recommendation.  "Oh, I don't have time to read.  I'm too busy chasing around my toddlers." - one 'friend' responded.  Uh, then why not just say nothing?  She wasn't singling you out and asking just you.  Do you go to product review pages and report "I've never used this, so I know nothing about it"?  Seriously.  If you're that 'busy', why are you commenting in random threads?

Anyhow.  I also hate it when people will jump into a facebook thread that is clearly something along the lines of an inside joke they are not a part of and ask 'what does this mean?'  Again, seriously.

Editor's sidenote:  Next time someone asks me for a book recommendation, I'm going to recommend facebook.  Or, this blog.

RE-jected

You know what is one of the worst things ever?  When I post something on facebook that I think is all clever and witty, and no ONE single person like or comments on it.  That is, quite frankly, one of the worst forms of rejection in the world.

I kid.  But in all seriousness.  They say getting rejected online (such as in online dating, or perhaps getting unfriended on facebook, etc.) is equally painful as face-to-face rejection.   And to think, people opt for online because it seems, well 'safer'.  Is that simply an illusion?  Do you all find your feelings equally hurt in online communication?  Your thoughts?

Happy Birthday?

Something I always wondered.

How good of a birthday is it if it is spent responding to facebook birthday greetings?

Just wondering.  No judgment.  Been there.

The Best Thing About Facebook

Ok, I know I've been through this before.  And I know all my readers probably think I'm, ahem, obsessed with facebook.  (I take the fifth on this one.)  But I think I've officially decided upon the best thing about facebook.  And it's not, as Seth Meyers so aptly said, watching one's high school friends slowly get fat.

The best thing about Facebook is...drumroll please...consumer reports.

Recently, my cable bill with rcn went up. I contemplated, for a moment, switching to Comcast. However, I seemed to think that I'd seen some negative statuses (stati?) about Comcast and Comcast customer service.

"Has anyone out there had a good customer service experience with Comcast?" I asked. Former coworkers, fellow dance students, and high school and college classmates all weighed in.

I've seen quite a few 'stati's like this in my feed. 'iPhone or android?' 'kindle or nook?' 'fitbit or striiv?'

It's also a great forum to gather others' stories. I'm friends with several journalists. I've seen them post asking about if anyone has any experience with a certain situation. My former journalist self is jealous that this wasn't around years ago - it's an easy way to gather quotes.

Anyhow. In short, what I love best about the 'book is that it can be a giant forum for gathering (presumably) honest reviews and information.  What are your fave things about the book?

Officially An Adult?

I remember seeing a facebook friend post something about officially feeling like an adult on the day she received a poinsettia as a gift from a student.  It wasn't when she graduated college, got engaged, got a job, bought a house, moved in with her significant other, got married, or got pregnant, but rather, the moment when she received this gift that she officially felt like an adult. 

I had a similar moment when I voluntarily prepared brussels sprouts as part of a meal.  At the time I was 28, had been living alone for several years and was financially independent.  But yet, this random moment hit me.  

How about you?  What was your 'holy shit, I'm an adult' moment?  I firmly believe this is something that sneaks up on you - it's not in one profound moment (a college graduation, a first day of work, etc.), but rather, etched into the details of daily life.   What was your moment?

Another Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, so most people who know me know I use facebook.  A lot.  And, I, personally, like facebook.

However, I do realize not everyone feels the same.  I do not work for facebook, or desire to impose my facebooking ways on others.

So why, why, why on earth do people make a point of defiantly telling me 'I hate facebook' or 'I don't use facebook' and look at me as if 'well I sure showed you!'  Believe it or not, this happens to me a LOT.  Uh, my name is not Mark Zuckerberg.  It's totally fine that one doesn't use said product.

Editor's sidenote:  I am really not sure what there to 'hate' about facebook.  Well, I see plenty of hate-worthy things, but that's simply the behavior of our fellow human beings, not facebook.  If I wasn't dealing with it on facebook, I'd be encountering it in some other daily interaction.  Maybe there is a lot of it 'in one place', if you will.  But still.  Whatevs.

Anyhow.  A small part of me feels these people secretly just want to make sure they're not being forgotten about (because they are, you know, not on facebook, and so many others are).  That or they want to know if there's anything they are missing out on.  I have several non-facebook-using peeps who ask me for updates on people/things happening on facebook.  I am debating if that's a specific privilege that they, as non-facebookers, should not have.  Hmm.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else encounter people stressing their lack of facebook use?  How do you handle it?

Mary Schmich - Pulitzer

Even though I don't know her (despite a facebook friendship!), I want to congratulate Mary Schmich on her Pulitzer Prize.  I've read her articles for many years.  I think she has some very astute observations on the way things are and a very clear, precise way of communicating them.   I hope, one day, that THIS BLOGGER will win a pulitzer for commentary.

Dear Miss Schmich - in case this somehow came up in your google alerts - my mom calls your articles 'Schmichies' and always saves them for me.

Etiquette For Seeing Someone You Know on an Online Dating Site

So as you all know, I occasionally online date, yadda yadda yadda....

It's happened before (as evidenced in this post) and it's happened once again - I saw someone I know in real life on an online dating site.  I was looking through who had viewed my profile and I saw a familiar thumbnail.  I mistakenly looked at his profile (out of curiosity) - he could then see I viewed his profile.  Definitely him (a former coworker).

About half an hour later, I see I got a message.

"Hey!  How is the new job going?"

For some unknown reason, this annoyed me.  It would have been fine write me if he was interested in dating (although I don't return the sentiment).  However, he has my facebook and linkedin info, so he could have asked me this on some other communication platform.  Why do it here?  It almost struck me like he was calling me out - like a 'gotcha' thing.  Ha - I caught you online dating!

Anyhow, I did what I do best with 90% of people contacting me on online dating sites - I ignored it.  About a week later, he facebook messages me.  No avoiding it now....

At first he chit chats with me.  How is the new job going (again)?  Then he comments that he sees me on the online dating site.  He then tells me 'don't worry, he won't mention it to anyone'.  Uh, ok.  I think I laughed it off with a 'ha'.  Then he says something about wanting to keep it a secret that he's on this site.   Then why are you talking about it so much!?!  I just kept changing the subject.  We started talking for a little bit on a random talking point relating to our old workplace for a little bit.

After a short bit I told him I had to get going.  He once again went back to the online dating site and, again, that he won't mention it to anyone that he saw me there (ooh, my dirty secret!?) and that he's not sure what to make of it so far.  I, again, promptly ignored it and said goodbye.

Your thoughts?  What are the rules for seeing someone one knows in real life in an online dating site?  Is one to completely ignore it?  I don't know the proper etiquette, but I am confident this is not it.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else out there have any awkward run ins with real-life peeps in online dating?  

Trying to Trend a New Expression

So, as you all know, I am a very avid user of Facebook.

On quite a few occasions, I've seen people like their own status or comment.

I have a term for this.

Facebook masturbation.

You heard it here first.

An Open Letter....

So, in a previous post, I mentioned there was something on my mind that I wasn't saying that was clouding my ability to blog. Well, in the best interest of this blog and its readers - upon 50% careful consideration and 50% blogging whilst emotional, I have decided to, in the words of John Mayer, 'say what I need to say' for cathartic reasons.  In the spirit of 'stuff white chicks do on facebook', yes, you can assume that post is directed at one specific individual.  You are also welcome to judge me for handling this in the form of a blog post (as opposed to a phone call, personal email, etc.).  Anyhow.

Without any further ado....

I honestly still cannot believe you did this to me.   I am still angry.  I am still in shock.  And I am still hurt. Don't get me wrong - I am doing fine.  I am doing well.  But you wronged me and you hurt me and you know it.  If you think I've forgotten you or if you think I've forgotten what you did to me, you are surely wrong.   If you think I am somehow confused and that I think there is possibly some misunderstanding that leads to some acceptable explanation of your behavior, you are also wrong.

I was good to you.  I deserved better.  I would not have done this to anyone - I surely would have not done this to you.  If the end goal was to make me hate you or make me think you are a bad person - you have not succeeded at this, however, again, you have succeeded at hurting me.  And if you possibly think, for one second, that you are, in some way, off the hook for what you did - you are wrong.  I cannot believe you were so selfish that you didn't think twice about causing me pain because you felt, for whatever reason, that you needed to do so at this time in your life.  So, if you have a conscience, or if you have any consideration for anyone for anyone but yourself, let it be known that you should feel guilty for what you did to me every single day of your life.

I might be out of sight.  I might be out of mind.  You are welcome to be a coward and hide - that doesn't undo the wrong you have done to me.  I don't wish ill on you but I do sincerely believe you should feel terrible about yourself as a person for what you did to me (and to some others as well).  I am a decent person and I am disgusted by what I got from you in the end.  Both you and I know I deserved better.  Again, I don't hate you, and I surely will go on just fine in life, but let it be known that what you did to me will never be forgotten.  I am very confident that you are so vain that you will definitely know this post is about you.

**************************

Again, dear readers, go ahead and judge me for posting this (juvenile, emotional, passive aggressive, what have you) - it felt good for me to get this off my chest.   Now, on to some other posts.

Classmates.com

All this talk about Alumni Junction in my previous post raised a question for me - does anyone out there actually use classmates.com?  I don't know of anyone.  I am sure it is a reputable business.  I remember seeing a headline from The Onion which went something like "No One Has The Heart to Tell the Classmates.com People About Facebook".  I think that pretty much said it all.  Does anyone use it?  How does it compare against facebook?  Is there anything better or worthwhile about it?  I think it was, at one point, a great idea, but even if it has some selling points on facebook, it loses out on lack of participants alone.   One can reach many more old classmates on facebook.

Anyhow.  I am not trying to trash classmates.com because I know nothing about it (semi-disclaimer).  I am just curious if that's pretty much a universal sentiment....

What's The Deal With Alumni Junction?

So I periodically get emails from 'Alumni Junction' that my high school classmates have posted messages for me on their site.  It is specific classmates by name that I remember, but either a) it's someone I've never spoke to, so I highly doubt he or she is contacting me or b) it's someone who could contact me on facebook, so why is he or she writing me on a random site instead?

Anyhow.  I keep getting these emails.  I went to their site.  I know these 'messages from my classmates' must by lies.  I attempted to login - I clicked 'forgot password'.  It emailed me my 'password'.  Let's just say I'm, for better or worse, too much of a creature of habit - this is not a password I'd choose.  I found it odd that it sent me a password, instead of telling me to create a login/account.  As I started to think about it, I had no recollection of ever being at the site and creating an account (not that it is something so noteworthy that it'd stick out in my mind, but still).

I know there is some kind of sham here.  I am not sure what, exactly, and I do not want this blog to be sued for libel.  So, I do not have any hard evidence, nor am I making a direct accusation, but something seems off.  Does anyone know anything about alumni junction?  I did a brief google and I found someone discussing, on his own blog, in relation to his upcoming high school reunion, that he directly spoke to someone who 'posted a message to him on alumni junction' and she directly told him that she had not.   Your thoughts?  Anyone have more information?  Any alumni junction users out there? 

A Statement that, Nowadays, Holds Meaning....

The other day, I found myself at lunch with a good friend.  I was telling her a story about someone I knew that she didn't know (terribly interesting for her, I'm sure).   I concluded the story with 'I'm not even facebook friends with him!!'

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is a significant statement about a relationship (or lack thereof).