Responding to Facebook Birthday Greetings

I have a curious question that I feel is quite relevant in this day & age - what is the proper protocol for responding to a facebook birthday greeting?

In my personal opinion, I prefer a big, general 'thanks everyone for the birthday wishes' status, at some point the day of or a couple days after said blessed event.  Yes, it's impersonal, but so is a facebook birthday greeting.  Let's be honest here.

I've notice that responding to/acknowledging each individual birthday greeting has become the common practice.  Although I appreciate the sentiment, I must wonder - is this really necessary?  I wasn't thinking too much about the facebook birthday greeting I extended.  It wasn't a $200 wedding gift.  A mere 30 seconds after it happened, I forgot about it.  I wasn't worried that it got lost in the mail or that it, in some way, wasn't received.

Some people choose to 'like' the greeting.  Some comment 'thank you'.  Some do both.  Some comment 'thank you, Jaime' and tag me in the thank you note.  Notifications up the wazoo.  Too much.  Tooooo much.

It's not that I have a problem with people being polite and going the extra mile to show something was appreciated, it's just that, well, as an avid facebook poster like myself, when I see I got a notification or two, I can't help but feel a little bit of a letdown when I see that it's my high school chem lab partner liked my birthday greeting.

What are your thoughts on responding to facebook birthday greetings?  Do you do one mass response? An individual one for each?  Has anyone out there been offended that his/her 'hbd' was not individually acknowledged?  Anyone touched that someone really went the extra mile to Like/Comment "Thank you so much (your name tagged here) for telling me happy birthday - really appreciate it!"

Your thoughts?

Another Facebook Post

The other day, a good friend of mine and I were out to dinner, talking about a mutual acquaintance, who happens to have deactivated her facebook account a while ago.  My friend (the one that I was dining with) said she contacted said other friend to tell her about something she'd posted on facebook, because she didn't want her to be 'out of the loop' if you will.

"Oh, I already saw that.  Yeah, I log onto (enter other mutual friend's name) facebook all the time."

Well then.  Let me tell you, said friend initially deactivated facebook because 'she was sick of it', not because of a work/life privacy issue.

I have heard this before out of some other people - I know of more than one instance of someone quitting facebook out of 'hating facebook', then logging on under someone else's account.

Dear people who do this - you realize you are simply the people who throw out the cookies cause you're on a diet, then dig through the trash and eat them anyway?  I just wanted to make that clear.  

ANOTHER Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, another facebook pet peeve.  It's been a little bit.

I hate it when people comment on stuff that doesn't pertain to them.  One of my friends posted asking if anyone had a book recommendation.  "Oh, I don't have time to read.  I'm too busy chasing around my toddlers." - one 'friend' responded.  Uh, then why not just say nothing?  She wasn't singling you out and asking just you.  Do you go to product review pages and report "I've never used this, so I know nothing about it"?  Seriously.  If you're that 'busy', why are you commenting in random threads?

Anyhow.  I also hate it when people will jump into a facebook thread that is clearly something along the lines of an inside joke they are not a part of and ask 'what does this mean?'  Again, seriously.

Editor's sidenote:  Next time someone asks me for a book recommendation, I'm going to recommend facebook.  Or, this blog.

Another Facebook Pet Peeve

Ok, so most people who know me know I use facebook.  A lot.  And, I, personally, like facebook.

However, I do realize not everyone feels the same.  I do not work for facebook, or desire to impose my facebooking ways on others.

So why, why, why on earth do people make a point of defiantly telling me 'I hate facebook' or 'I don't use facebook' and look at me as if 'well I sure showed you!'  Believe it or not, this happens to me a LOT.  Uh, my name is not Mark Zuckerberg.  It's totally fine that one doesn't use said product.

Editor's sidenote:  I am really not sure what there to 'hate' about facebook.  Well, I see plenty of hate-worthy things, but that's simply the behavior of our fellow human beings, not facebook.  If I wasn't dealing with it on facebook, I'd be encountering it in some other daily interaction.  Maybe there is a lot of it 'in one place', if you will.  But still.  Whatevs.

Anyhow.  A small part of me feels these people secretly just want to make sure they're not being forgotten about (because they are, you know, not on facebook, and so many others are).  That or they want to know if there's anything they are missing out on.  I have several non-facebook-using peeps who ask me for updates on people/things happening on facebook.  I am debating if that's a specific privilege that they, as non-facebookers, should not have.  Hmm.  Your thoughts?  Anyone else encounter people stressing their lack of facebook use?  How do you handle it?

Trying to Trend a New Expression

So, as you all know, I am a very avid user of Facebook.

On quite a few occasions, I've seen people like their own status or comment.

I have a term for this.

Facebook masturbation.

You heard it here first.

So True.

Just sayin'.

You Like?

You know what I find funny?  When I run into an acquaintance with which I have a facebook friendship, and they randomly mention to me 'oh, I liked you facebook status the other day about (...)'

It always makes me wonder 'if you noticed it, and you liked it, well then, why didn't you, well, 'LIKE' it?'  That, and why are you, if you will, 'commenting on my status' in real life?  Why didn't you do it on facebook?  It's not that they didn't like or comment on my status, it's more that they, apparently, wanted to but, for some unknown reason, refrained.  Please, dear facebook friends, don't be shy.  Don't hold back.  I don't bite.  I will like your comments.  Even if I don't officially 'like' them.

Dear fellow facebookers - why are we sometimes like/comment shy?   Dear blog readers - if you are, at all, tempted to comment or like something on this blog some point - PLEASE don't hold back.  Please go with it.   I say this, that is, until I receive some hate mail.  Please hold off on that.  Maybe.  

A Thought....

Refriended.

Editor's sidenote:  File this blog post under 'slow news day'.

So someone 'unfriended' me.  I know this for several reasons - two of them being a) this person updated ad nauseam, so the missing newsfeed fodder was noteworthy and 2)  this person just tried to 'refriend' me.

A little background - this is someone I didn't know very well in real life in the first place, so I wouldn't be offended to have been 'friendship cleaned'.  However, I did find it a little surprising because he did semi-regularly comment on my statuses, etc.

Well, apparently, somebody was going through withdrawals of his daily Jaime fix.  In the words of Kellie Pickler, I'm gonna show you just how missing me feels.  Is this that 'redemption' thing people talk about?

Now, I am not sure the protocol for 'refriending'.  I don't really have anything to hide, and despite the fact that I'm writing a blog post on this matter in the first place, I can't say I care all that much.  I'd be fine with letting him be my friend again, although, a small part of me feels like I should, for whatever unknown reason, hold out on him.  What if I take him back and he dumps me again?  Although there are really 0 consequences to said potential situation, the words 'screw me once, shame on you....' run through my head.

What are your thoughts?  Has anyone else out there been 'refriended'?  Should I let him out of the limbo of 'pending friend request' status?   Should I hold out on my friendship?  Do you feel you just lost two minutes of your life reading this blog post?

Please let me know.

The Biggest Problem with Facebook

So as you all know, I love facebook.  However, despite its flaws (the high school-esque drama, the time-eating, the potential lack of privacy), I really only have ONE issue with it.   Facebook makes it much more difficult to successfully lie about one's whereabouts.

There are the status updates.  Even if one doesn't update her status on her own, perhaps other people she's with might broadcast where they are and who they are with.  Same thing with the check-ins.  And the chance of someone posting and tagging a picture and tagging it saying 'last night, omg, so much fun!'

Now, I am not one who habitually lies about my whereabouts.  However, there was a point in recent history where I had to tell a white lie.  While I was out doing what I was actually doing, I kept finding myself having urges to update my status and I almost caught myself doing it once or twice.  Additionally, I can think of a friend who was told by another friend that they couldn't hang out because she was too sick, then later, said friend saw a status along the lines of 'out and about in the city'.

Is facebook going to ultimately keep us more honest about our whereabouts?  Or, is it going to expose all the liars?  Does anyone else have a problem with facebook serving as a GPS on us for all of our network?  Your thoughts?

People Who Over-Share on Facebook....

...we (members of the facebook community) all know them.  We all have one.  At least.  Someone who overshares - specifically - about the problems in his or her life.

 I'd take a moment to complain about these people, but who am I kidding - I LOVE them!  #1) They give me something interesting to read and #2) They always make me feel better about my own life.  In fact, I wish more of my friends were like them.

Is this incredibly sad?  Please don't answer that.  I am guessing, though, that I am not alone in feeling this way.  It might be cool to hate on these people, however, I'd venture a guess that very few actually do....

The Purpose of Facebook

So, recently, one of my good friends did a facebook 'clean-up', in which he deleted a large quantity of friends - basically everyone he hasn't spoken to recently/was never close friends with. So, right now, he's down to, let's say, under 200 friends.

I find this to be an interesting concept. I know some other people who've done the same. I also thought about doing a friend cleanup (mainly deleting some people from college or friends of friends, or friend's exes whom I've met very briefly and never spoke to again) - however, my fear is that I'll suddenly randomly run into one of these people again and there'll be some awkward moment of one of use realizing the other is no longer a facebook friend and wondering what happened (oh, uh, someone hacked my account? yeah...).

Anyhow.

However, this gets me to thinking - what IS the purpose of facebook? For me, it's getting in touch with/keeping in touch with those who would have otherwise fallen off the face of this earth. I don't need facebook for my close friends I speak to somewhat regularly; I know what they're up to, where they work, what they look like. It's the people that I knew at some point but would now be completely out of touch with if it weren't for facebook that really give facebook its value, in my opinion. It's kind of like we use a dictionary for the five syllable words, not 'home' or 'food'.

In fact, if I stop to think about it now - there's a good thirty or so people who are acquaintances from high school or college who I have not seen/spoke to in person in at least four years, however, we regularly comment on each other's statuses & write on each other's wall, so I pretty much feel like I could say I am in touch with these people who would have otherwise been long gone. I am grateful these seemingly random people have trickled back into my life (via a social networking site).

Anyhow. What are your thoughts? Is the point of facebook to keep in touch with the long-gone, long-lost friends, or are these people clutter? Is the purpose of facebook moreso to keep in touch with those who are close? What's your take? Should one 'clean out' those who seem to have drifted away?

Don't You?

So, I was reading an article in Glamour (which I referenced earlier) about should you/should you not do something. One of the items brought up - should one blog about the person he or she is dating (or going on a date with).

Now, for me personally, the answer is no for one obvious reason - the guy I'm dating NOT reading my blog is a complete and total deal-breaker. So, if it's safe to assume he's reading, I won't be writing about him. Anyhthing I need to say to him I should, in a perfect world, be able to say directly to him (if it pertains to our companionship), however, anything I can't say, for whatever reason, I would talk to my girlfriends about privately, not air out in public.

I've always hate hate HATED it when couples have had statements blatantly expressing their frustration (or what have you) with their significant other via their facebook status, AIM away message or (going back to high school here now) AOL profile. It's some childish combination of a) passion without reason and b) a public advertisement of the bad communication between the two. As I said earlier - such things should be said TO each other, not about each other to the whole online world.

That, and it just looks pathetic. For example, I have three female facebook friends (people I am not regularly in touch with who are no more than acquaintances) who I know are not-so-subtly hinting that they're getting a little frustrated that their boyfriend hasn't proposed yet. Why do I (amongst all their other fbook friends) know this? I've never met said boyfriend. But I know he's got commitment issues (or so it seems). What's the goal here? That some mutual friend of a friend of a friend says something to someone and it gets back to him, and he thinks 'oh gee, I should propose', then does so? Will it REALLY work out that way?

However. The argument in favor of blogging about one's relationship was this: The Carly Simon rule applies - the post isn't about him unless he's vain enough to think it is. I like this. I'm tempted to post about every guy I've ever come across since 6th grade right now and save face by declaring 'The Carly Simon Rule'. Sidenote: I'm pretty sure I know who that song is about. Anyone out there think I'm referring to him? See above....

ANOTHER Facebook Complaint

So I have a brand new facebook friend. She is joining facebook for the first time. She began to fill out her profile and listed herself as 'single'. The logo for listing oneself as single is, apparently, a heart sliced right across the mid-section (which most would refer to, upon viewing, as a 'broken heart'). She is not single in the sense that she's getting out of a relationship, but single in the sense that it's just what she is. Facebook feels this deserves a 'broken heart' graphic.

Isn't this a little....depressing? Borderline offensive? Seriously, facebook.

Facebook Pet Peeves

The first in what I am sure will turn out to be a series of rants.  Today I will focus mostly on facebook photo pet peeves.

1)  "Couples" pictures.  Ugh.  It's supposed to be a picture of YOU, the owner of the profile.   Don't get me wrong, it's not to begrudge one of his or her happy couple status - one is more than welcome to tell the world he or she is in a happy relationship in the 'relationship status' and even the 'about me' section.  But seriously.  (I guess maybe someone like me, with a unisex name, can see greater potential problems.)  Also, not to mention the 'gag me with a shovel' effect couples pictures have - which is undeniably present.

2)  Baby pictures.  Now, don't get me wrong.  You sure were cute as a kid.  Well, maybe.  At least, you may have been cuter as a kid than you are now.  I feel for you.  Really, I do.  However, what started out one person's cute little idea spread like gossip through a high school locker room - EVERYONE is suddenly doing it.  That, and let's be honest - no one is all that awed by how cute of a kid you were, sans your parents.  And they probably (hopefully) aren't looking at your facebook page.  And the general facebook community probably just looks and thinks 'hey, it's you when you were younger'.   

3)  Glamour shots.  SERIOUSLY.  It's supposed to be a reasonably accurate picture of you.  What good does it do to feature an overly photoshopped/angled/misleading picture of yourself?   Even if it's going to lead you to meeting the man/woman of your dreams, he or she is going to see you in real life (presumably) at some point.   

4)  Political jokes/sports cartoons/etc.  Not that there's anything seriously wrong with this - there are just other places for it.   The section for a photo of you is supposed to be exactly that.

To be continued....